Cannon fodder "attack" development system

[In front of me is a call in a few words, and behind me is the sea bit by bit.What Li Duanyun can't get back is those calls, what Song Guan can't cross is the sea. 】

In fact, in retrospect, at the beginning, his feelings for Song Guan seemed to be neither liking nor hating, but more likely to be indifferent.The first meeting between the two is not a good memory.He is the fourth son of the Li family, Song Guan is the only son of the Song family, and the two mothers are best friends handkerchiefs. It stands to reason that the two of them should have known each other a long time ago, but Song Guan had been living with the old lady of the Song family before. In another city, they didn't return to this city until they were 13 years old, so this was the first time the two of them met later.

The first time he met Song Guan, he splashed fruit juice all over his body, the action was so fast that he was taken aback for a moment, and then he raised his eyes to see Song Guan, with such a disdainful and contemptuous expression on his face.Song watched him for a while, then changed his face as if singing an opera, and began to cry, crying until his face was covered with tears, and teardrops were picked on his eyelashes.

Strange to say, this scene made him remember it for almost a lifetime.Later, the face of this person in the memory was blurred, but this expression became more and more vivid in the memory, so clear that it came to life.Even in the days when he didn't want to see Song Guan very much, it was the same.It just doesn't make sense, it's weird.

And this was the first time he met Song Guan.Song Guan splashed fruit juice all over him and cried miserably.

Afterwards his mother told him, Duanyun, please smile more, the boss's face is not cute at all, you see you scared your brother Song Guan today.

At that time, Li Duanyun was holding the bouquet and was carefully studying the slender white flowers in his hand. Hearing what his mother said, he paused for a moment, fingered the flower stems, lowered his eyes, and then just like this There was no need to respond.His mother was still chattering, complaining about things that were not necessary, but at the end she suddenly said, you also think brother Song Guan is very cute, don't you?

Li Duanyun was silent.

He remembered what the kid named Song Guan said when he left before.His eyes were red and swollen because of crying. The 13-year-old kid with red eyes approached him, and then whispered in his ear with a secretive expression, I hate people wearing the same clothes as me the most.Song Guan smiled, his voice was soft, but the content of his words was not without viciousness - next time you wear the same clothes as me, I will have to pour boiling water on you.

Song Guan's impression of him seems to have always been like this, surly, mischievous, willful, reckless, really not a pleasing character, but he always pretends to be a pleasing appearance, and Song Guan really wants to please When alone, it is usually successful.Of course - Li Duanyun doesn't count.In other words, Song Guan may never have thought of trying to curry favor with him.Song Guan is a double-faced man, he felt this way from the very beginning, and Song Guan's two-faced character was revealed to the extreme in front of him, almost showing all the bad sides in front of him, probably because from the very beginning , he never pretended to be in front of him, and was seen with his true colors, so all subsequent disguises were unnecessary.

Li Duanyun has looked at Song Guan coldly for so many years, and there are so many bad words used to describe Song Guan, narrow-minded, vengeful, vengeful, and even vicious.There are so many examples that I can't finish them all at once, and I feel numb later, but it is the things at the beginning that left the deepest impression.That was when Song Guan came back to the city, and met other children in the mansion, and then Song Guan offended a little fat man. Li Duanyun always remembered the fierce and fierce eyes of Song Guan when he got into a ball with someone, Like a little wolf cub.But after a few days, he saw that Song Guan and that little fat man became very good friends. The little fat man took Song Guan to play around, and his small eyes almost disappeared when he smiled. To be able to wear a pair of pants.

Children's emotions always seem to come and go quickly like this. They are crying one second and laughing the next.One moment I said that I hate you to death, and I want to live with you, but the next moment, I may become a good friend who I want to be with you for the rest of my life.But Song Guan is not.Song Guan played so well with the little fat man. Three months later, the little fat man fell into the river and was almost drowned. The little fat man was picked up wet from the water. At that time, Li Duanyun, who just turned his face, saw Song Guan's face was cold, with a hint of imperceptible malice and a triumphant smile. This expression was fleeting, and it turned into a worried look in an instant.

At that time, Song Guan was still young, and he was not very good at disguising himself, and he didn't know if he was showing his secrets.Li Duanyun retracted his gaze silently.How would you describe your mood at that time?Probably disgusting, very subtle emotions, not too many, not too obvious, probably because he has few emotions himself, and there seems to be very few things in this world that can affect his emotions too much.And it wasn't until a long time later, when he recalled the past, that he suddenly discovered that the times when he was emotionally violent, all seemed to be inextricably linked to this person.

It was Song Guan like this, what Li Duanyun never expected was that Song Guan would really answer his words in the end, pushed open the window and just jumped out.It's so high, but Song Guan didn't even hesitate at all, and didn't even pause at all.The night directly engulfed the figure, and the fall was silent.

In fact, he knew Song Guan's thoughts on him.When he was in college, he made a girlfriend. The girl was beautiful and had a good personality. He liked it very much. He even thought about marrying this girl after graduation, but in the end, Song Guanzheng got this girl out of school. , ruined.It was winter, and the fine snow was falling from the sky. He and the girl were standing at the door of the girl's house. The girl's eyes were a little red and swollen, as if she had cried. She said, our family will move out of this place in about a week. The city is gone.She didn't say much, the most piercing thing was the sentence she said, I am not good enough for you now.

Li Duanyun stared at her fixedly, his black eyes were like lakes covered in thick fog.He whispered to her, I don't mind.This sentence is not talking, he really thinks so.Then the girl laughed when she heard this sentence, her eyes were bright, this smile was like many times in the past, she smiled at him, he used to think that she was as happy as a lark.She took a step back with such a smile on her face, but the tears fell first.She couldn't help crying, covering her eyes with her hands, she said, I wanted to say goodbye to you with a smile, I'm sorry.She said, sorry, and goodbye.

That time Song Guan made a move, he didn't hide it at all, he just told people openly that he did all of this.In fact, there have been various signs that Song Guan likes him before, but neither of them said anything, Li Duanyun just pretended not to know, but this time it is really impossible to pretend to be "don't know".He walked in the snow without an umbrella, and he felt more at a loss in his heart. Maybe he should stop the girl.But for a moment, he felt so deeply how weak his position was.That day when he was passing through Praying Street, he saw blessing ribbons hanging all over the trees beside the street. He looked up and looked, just looked, looked and looked, and at some point there was an umbrella on his head.

Turning his head to see Song Guan.

He looked at Song Guan quietly for a while, and then he didn't have any extra words, and he said straight to the point: "Do you like me?" He had no expression when he said this, it was obviously a question, but he said it like a statement.Song Guan was stunned for a moment, a little blood flushed on his face, which meant he was ashamed, but in the next moment, it was completely destroyed by Li Duanyun's words: "It's really disgusting." The thin layer of red on Song Guan's face , Faded clean in an instant, his complexion was as pale as a piece of snow-white paper.

Probably from this time on, Song Guan opposed him everywhere, which was a big fanfare on the bright side.It's no secret that Song Guan, the only son of the Song family, and Li Duanyun, the fourth son of the Li family, had a bad relationship.Then there was such a big scandal between the two families. It turned out that Song Guan's father was not Song Guan's father, but Li Duanyun's father was Song Guan's father——Song Guan's nominal father had a big green crown on his head. Hat, the son who has been raised for others for more than 20 years in vain, still hurts like a baby.

Li Duanyun recalled how his mother lost her mind when she heard about this incident. His parents were arguing so loudly that he heard his mother's cry: "I don't care who you mess with, but why do you even talk to my Ayun?" Don't let it go? She is your brother's wife, are you still human? Are you still?"

Song Guancong, the younger brother of a family friend, suddenly became a half-brother.As for this matter, the news was quickly blocked, and all the parties involved remained silent. After the incident, Song Guan was still the only son of the Song family, but the title was there, but the name was not right.Five months later, Li Duanyun met Song Guan at a banquet. On the other side of the lounge, Song Guan had a pale face. When he drank alcohol, his face always turned paler the more he drank. At this moment A face was as white as a piece of paper, just like when he said to him "it's disgusting".

"Li Duanyun." Song Guan's face was as pale as a sheet of paper, only his eyes were black and white, with a little frightening light, he said the name with a bit of gnashing of teeth, and finally put on a sad smile, "Now I'm your brother Well, ha... ha, everyone's happy indeed. Don't you think so?"

Li Duanyun looked at Song Guan supporting the wall with one hand, his expression remained indifferent, and he didn't intend to step forward to help others, but just said: "You are drunk."

What about later?

Later he met Mr. Chen.Later, he had a relationship with Mr. Chen, and what followed was Song Guan's crazy commercial blow to him.And because of his mother, Li Duanyun never wanted to tear himself apart with Song Guan. The blows Song Guan planned were really nothing to him. It was dismantled, unhurriedly, lukewarm.

But I really didn't expect Song Guan to kidnap people by hand. From the beginning of this incident, from the beginning to the end, he had no expression on his face. Song Guan showed a little resentment when he tortured him until he was bruised and bruised all the time. I can't do anything with this face.Li Duanyun thought coldly, probably Song watched his face.He knew that he was probably good-looking.Heh, Song Guan probably likes his face.

What about later?

Later Song Guan asked him what he wanted to say.At that time, he was half sarcastic, so he replied—why don't you die.

--Why do not you go to hell?

——Why don't you die?

After all, he had a bit of hatred for Song Guan because of that incident back then, but he didn't show it on weekdays. Because of his mother, he had always been accommodating and tolerant towards Song Guan. He had always been like this since he was a child. If so, he would probably really deal with Song Guan ruthlessly.

At that time, Song Guan heard this and just looked at him quietly for a while. No one expected that this person actually came from such a high floor without warning because of his words. jump down.

When Li Duanyun attended Song Guan's funeral, he always felt unreal.Song Guan fell from such a high place, and his bones were broken. The mortician repaired Song Guan's makeup several times, but he still couldn't cover up his broken appearance.People came and went at the funeral, and Li Duanyun met the fat man.The fat guy who played very well with Song Guan—the first time we met, we had a hard fight with Song Guan, and later we became very close, and then he was pushed into the water by Song Guan, but, of course, after this Probably only he, Li Duanyun, knew about the matter, and even the fat man thought it was him who fell into the water accidentally.

After so many years, Song Guan ended up being the best friend with Fatty.When he was leaving at night, the fat man told him, I don't know if you know, but Song Guan actually likes you very much.He didn't speak after listening, and after a while, he gave a very soft "hmm".

The night was as black as ink brocade, and the stars shone silently in the sky like embroidery.The fat man looked at the sky: "There are some things you probably don't know. Song Guan won't let us tell you, but now—he always feels that it's really unfair to him if he doesn't tell you these things." The fat man's tone A little disappointed, "Do you still remember when you were in high school, everyone went out to play, and the billboard fell down on the road?"

Li Duanyun remembered this incident. At that time, he was knocked out, but fortunately he was not seriously injured.

The fat man smiled: "In order to save you, Song Guan threw you down and took the rest of the blow for you, crippling his right hand." After a pause, "It's not really crippled, is it? Yes, it can still be used, but since then I can’t use much strength, and——” The fat man stretched out his right hand and gestured, “His hand will never be able to lift it up to the height of his shoulders from now on. The fat man sighed, "Song Guan never let us tell you about this before."

One month after the funeral, some of Song Guan's belongings were sorted out and handed over to him. It was a box of drawing paper, all of which were his portraits, all of which were painted by Song Guan.The ages vary, and the brushstrokes range from immature to mature, and then the painting is lifelike, and the expression is vivid on the paper.

There is a small line of words on the back of each drawing paper, long and short, and they are all small words, "Today he wore a blue plaid striped shirt" "Today he said fifteen sentences to me" " Today he drank the winter melon tea I bought for him" "The closest I posted to him today was 5 cm apart"... Some pictures that I don't care about on weekdays, with these text descriptions coming, I feel cold It was cold, as if something had broken the embankment, soaking all limbs and bones like this.

He suddenly felt a little cold, and some longer-term memories surfaced. At that time, he felt inexplicable or didn't care at all, but now it's all overwhelmed.There were things that had been there so long ago, but he had never noticed.On which year, which month, which day, and which long holiday it was, the two families went out to play together. They didn’t remember which mountain or which temple it was, but only remembered the solemn and precious appearance of the Bodhisattva in the temple.Amid the incense sticks, Song Guan looked up at Guanyin with a compassionate expression, and suddenly asked him, does the Bodhisattva know everything?

Regarding this question, how does he know whether Bodhisattvas know or not? It is even a question of whether there are Bodhisattvas in this world.He responded casually like this, and said, probably.Then the young man beside him was silent for a while, and finally asked softly, will the Bodhisattva know that I like you?

At that time, the first thing he felt when he heard this sentence was absurd, and then he felt that he might have heard it wrong, or that the person next to him was interested in playing a prank and talking nonsense with him casually.There are so many speculations, none of them are sincere about Song Guan.He didn't say anything then, just pretended he didn't hear anything.In the universe of ten directions, there are three thousand Buddhas.At that time, he didn't know at all that he had let down another person's heart so lightly.

When sleeping at night, Li Duanyun thought of many things.There was a time when Song Guan lived in his house and slept with him. It was summer, and there was often rain and thunder. Shocked by the thunder, she cried, with a frail face, no longer her usual eccentric look, and squeezed desperately into his arms.He didn't like to get too close to people since he was a child, and he kept trying to push Song Guan who was squeezing into his arms. In the end, Song Guan formed a small group, grabbed his clothes tightly, and then slept next to him. , with tears still hanging on his face, he just pressed his face against his back, sobbing into a small ball.

"Li Duanyun."

"Li Duanyun..."

Song Guan called him loudly, the voice sounded really pitiful.Finally, he couldn't bear being called out, pulled off the quilt and covered him tightly, then pulled him into his arms, and said, "Okay, go to sleep."

Until now, these memories are separated by a distance between life and death.There was a sudden emptiness in his heart, Li Duanyun closed his eyes, and the memories in the dark lights turned up one after another.What I remember most clearly is the first time the two met, Song Guan was crying, because Song Guan was particular about his image, he didn’t dare to cry loudly, and he couldn’t cry softly. His face was flushed red, and teardrops were sticking to his eyelashes like broken jade. If you don't look at his bad expressions and words before and after, this is really a heartbreaking look.It's heart-wrenchingly childish.In the end, all those memory scenes were switched and fixed, it was the scene of Song Guanyue falling from the window, his clothes were blown up by the wind, like a dying bird falling.

Li Duanyun woke up from a dream, the world continued, and his life seemed to be the same as before, no difference.

He broke up with Mr. Chen. Mr. Chen pursed his lips and asked him with a tense face, "Why?"

why?

Yeah, why.

He didn't speak, and I'm afraid he couldn't even explain the reason clearly.

Year after year passed like this, until a woman came to the door, holding a paternity test certificate, and holding a child, Song Guan's child.The child hid behind the woman, looking timid, poked his head and glanced at him, then hid back again.

The woman smiled self-deprecatingly: "I'm sick and need a lot of money for surgery, so return this child and see how much money I can exchange."

Li Duanyun took a bag of candy and coaxed the child over. The child bit his finger with the candy in his mouth, sat on his lap, and peeked at him from time to time.

The woman brushed her hair, and talked about the events of the year: "Actually, I saw at that time...is his name Song Guan? I don't remember much, but I just remember that he seemed to be pretty good-looking. I just saw him at that time. … At that time, I gave up on men. I just wanted a child of my own. He happened to be in my hand at that time. I was emotional and didn’t think too much, so I deceived him and used some tricks , Lied him to have slept with me for a period of time, and then I had this child."

The child is white and soft, and looks very cute.The woman stared at it for a while, her eyes were a little wet, and then she looked away: "It's nothing. I thought I loved my child very much, but in the end it turns out that I may not love him as much as I thought... Now I Give him to you, I hope you can treat him well."

After the woman left, Li Duanyun asked the child, "What's your name?"

"Zhou..." The child bit the candy and mumbled, "...Zhou... Wen..." There was a word behind it that was bitten off by himself, and he really couldn't make out what he said. what is it.

Then the child realized belatedly: "Where's Mom?"

Li Duanyun stroked the child's head: "Let's go."

The child opened his mouth, obviously didn't understand the word "gone", and then obediently said "oh", but when he went to bed at night, when the child couldn't find his mother, he started to cry unobediently, no matter how he coaxed him Without stopping, the butler had no choice but to come to him in a hurry: "Fourth Master, look at this..."

The child blushed from crying and called "Mom", with tears on his eyelashes, like broken jade beads.Such a picture has a moment of deep overlap with the scene in memory.Li Duanyun looked at the crying child, his eyes softened, he picked up the child and kissed it.The child was still crying, and he waved his little hand wildly to Li Duanyun's face, watching the housekeeper tremble with fear.But Li Duanyun was not angry at all, and even had a little smile on his face. He thought in his heart, let's change his name to Song Guan.The child was renamed Song Guan.

The extra children in the family added more vitality to the house, and it was probably because of being abandoned by his mother. After watching Xiao Song, he was always worried, frightened and uneasy like a little rabbit, like a piece of brown sugar Sticking to him, I wish I could follow him even when going to the bathroom.His sixth brother liked to tease little Song Guan very much. The sixth brother said, "Fourth brother, your children are so fun."

Sometimes when I go home, I can see the sixth brother teasing Xiao Songguan, throwing people into the air and then catching them.Xiao Song Guan was so frightened that he cried and screamed at the same time, and later learned to swear: "Li Moyun, you bastard, put me down!",

He watched quietly from the side, the two of them had played enough and finally found him on the side, Xiao Song Guan slapped Li Moyun's hand away, then ran to him with tears in his eyes and hugged him He turned his head and stared at Li Moyun bitterly, no longer the timid look at the beginning, he was very fierce, turned his head and looked at him with his mouth flattened, as if he was about to cry again.

He patted Xiao Song Guan on the head and said calmly: "Boys can't cry all the time."

Xiao Song Guanwenyan wiped his face in a hurry, really wishing to shrink back the tears on his face.

Then he said to Xiao Song Guan: "A good boy can't be called by the elder's name, you know? You should call him Uncle Six."

Xiao Song Guan heard the words, paused his hand wiping his tears, turned his head to look at Li Moyun, with the expression of swallowing a fly alive, and finally said reluctantly: "Uncle Six."

Li Moyun grinned, his smile was not like a good person: "Well, be good."

Then Xiao Song Guan grew up little by little, and the grown-up Xiao Song Guan discovered his unusual feelings for his fourth uncle. At that time, he was really scared to death, thinking that he was a pervert, which scared him to death Couldn't sleep well all week.But the more you can't think about some things, the more you will think about them.Thinking of his widowed eyes, he lost a lot of weight.In the end, he thought to himself, maybe he was born to be a pervert.Everyone noticed Xiao Song Guan's mental state. When Li Moyun asked him what was going on, he naturally refused to say, "Uncle Yun." Except for the fact that he reluctantly called Li Moyun "Uncle Six" at the beginning, later Either still secretly calling her name directly, or calling him "Uncle Yun", Song Guan looked at Li Moyun weakly and said, "I'm fine."

Later, Xiao Song Guan found out about his father, and about the relationship between his father and his fourth uncle. He finally knew why sometimes his fourth uncle always looked at him with a thoughtful look.That kind of gaze fell on him, like looking at him, but not like looking at him, as if looking through him, looking for something else.

He is the shadow of his father.The fourth uncle used him to remember his dead father.

Even the names are exactly the same, this is the best evidence.

But he was never someone's shadow, no.

Xiao Song Guan is so sad.

But a period of life and death is separated into two stories.It's like the call in a few words in front of you, and the sea bit by bit behind you.

To Li Duanyun, Song Guan was the call of a few words, but Xiao Song Guan stood behind Li Duanyun, there were too many seas between the two, and it was hard to bridge the gap in the secular world.

—one cannot recover those calls, the other cannot cross the sea.

【End of the show】