Unpopular CP lovers

The author has something to say: integrate the short stories in the column and collect them together.

With the alliance between the Big Fresh Meat Empire and the Yunzu Commune, the Dousha Republic annexed the Lotus Kingdom, and married the double yolk egg as the queen. separated.

And the five-nut mooncakes that have ruled the mooncake kingdom for hundreds of years are gradually disappearing from people's sight...

"Master, it's the Mid-Autumn Festival today, and there are so many five kernels left." A teenage apprentice tidied up the booth in front of the pastry shop, arranged the scattered mooncakes neatly, and piled them into a hill: "There are so many, throw them away." It's a pity, I can't finish eating, what should I do."

They usually make dim sum, and mooncakes are only made during the Mid-Autumn Festival. Because the storage period of these things is short, they can be eaten at the right time, so they are all made and sold on the spot. If the flavor sells well, they will make more. If they cannot be sold Just do less or don't do it.However, there is a strange phenomenon this year. Other flavors of mooncakes are selling well, especially cloud leg and lotus seed paste egg yolk. They come out every day, and within two hours, there is no one left.But for these five kernels, I made one a few days ago, and all of them are left, neatly fifty, all lying on the tray.

"Now that people's lives are better, they start to pay attention to health. Wuren has high calories and high oil content. If you eat it, you will get fat, and you will easily have high blood lipids. It is indeed going to be eliminated by the market." After approving a coat, the master came out from the inside: "No The solution, buy one get one free and dispose of it."

"Understood." The little apprentice got the order, and immediately got to work, holding up the horn and yelling: "Mid-Autumn Festival is a big sale, buy one mooncake get one free, buy any flavor of mooncake, get a box of five kernels, don't miss this opportunity." Come again!"

"What, we actually bought one and got one free."

"How could it be that the big five kernel mooncakes have fallen to such a state!"

"No, I don't want to be a gift, woohoo..."

In a corner that humans can't pay attention to, small discussions are getting more and more intense, and everyone who is aggrieved is being treated as a gift of five kernel mooncakes.This group of descendants of the former rulers not only lost the love of mankind, they were also packed in an old iron pan and abandoned in the corner of the stall, where no one cares about them.When someone came to buy mooncakes, the little apprentice took out a paper box with a smile on his face, put four in it and gave it away.Although it's cheap, some people don't like it: "What the hell is the gift, whoever wants to eat five kernels, give me some other ones."

"I'm sorry, all the gifts given by this store are Wuren, and they cannot be exchanged."

"Then no more."

The guest flicked his sleeves and left, leaving a box of five-nut mooncakes left dumbfounded. He immediately burst into anger: "What the hell, I don't care about being eaten by you humans."

"A group of idiots who don't understand the essence of moon cakes!"

"Humans are so stupid. When it comes to cholesterol and calories, egg yolk mooncakes are much higher than ours!"

"That's right. Those so-called fruit mooncakes don't contain any fruit at all. They are all additives. It's unreasonable for humans to eat them so deliciously."

"If you want me to say, the most irritating thing is the master of this store. If you buy one get one free, I would rather not sell it and be destroyed collectively than turn it into a gift!"

"We can't make him cheap, brothers, if we can't sell it, we will ask the Mooncake Empress to avenge us tonight."

"Yes, absolutely revenge!"

Human beings naturally couldn't hear the discussion of the same enemy, and the little apprentice propped his chin and continued to sell.Today is the Mid-Autumn Festival. After this day, those that cannot be sold can only be disposed of at a low price, and if they cannot be sold at a loss, they can only be destroyed. It is a pity to think about it, so the elementary school apprentices put all their efforts into selling.

However, the era of Wuren has really passed, and only half of it was sent out in a whole afternoon.Fortunately, the master rushed to make two more cloud legs, so he sent out the rest.

However, there were still two five-nut mooncakes lying on the tray.The gift is a box of 4, and there are only two left.

"Master, these are twins." These two mooncakes may be too close together when they were baked, and they were connected together without being separated: "The others are sold out, these two filial masters, you should eat them soon." .”

"Little bastard, if you don't like Wuren, just push it to me." The master smiled and didn't shirk it. He put the twin mooncakes on the counter and prepared to take them home at night.They have been busy for a day, and they are not ready to close until the moon is on the branches.The apprentice packed up and washed, and after finishing everything, he made a face at the master: "Master, I'm going home, see you in three days."

"Be careful on the road." He took out a box full of exquisite mooncakes that had been prepared earlier, and handed them to the disciples: "Be with your parents well, don't be in a hurry in the store, and, take this five kernels and eat them on the road."

The master put aside the connected moon cakes, put one in a food bag, and stuffed it into the hands of the apprentice: "I can't let me get hyperlipidemia alone."

"Master with a bad heart." Putting the mooncakes in his pocket, the little apprentice who had no intention of eating waved his hand and ran away.

"This child." The master shook his head, and checked all the equipment in the store for the last time, and after confirming that the power should be cut off and the ones that should be disinfected, he turned off the lights and closed the shutter door, and set foot on the way home.

Originally, people in business did not have the concept of holidays. The more holidays they have, the busier they are at work, but there are only two people in this pastry shop, a master and an apprentice.The master is single, eats enough for one person and the whole family is not hungry, the apprentice is playful and does not like to study, so he finds a place to learn crafts and hangs around casually.So neither the master nor the apprentice has any ambitions, as long as the business can get by.In addition, there are not many competitors around, and it is the only one with good sales. There is no need for 360 to open for five days.

Masters often say that it is enough to spend enough money, as long as you don’t starve to death, what are you earning so much for?So not only do they have three holidays a year, but they also close early and go home in case of bad weather. In short, it is a very leisurely shop.

"Hey, I'm really old. I'm so tired after working overtime for a few days. I have to go home and have a good sleep." The master is actually very young, only twenty years old, but the Mid-Autumn Festival really exhausted him up.Although there is an apprentice by his side, the child has only been with him for half a year, and his skills are not good enough, so he can only help with some chores, and he has to do everything else by himself.In addition, the process of moon cakes is complicated and baking is also difficult, which really exhausted him to death.

He kicked the leftover five-nut mooncake in his arms, went to the night market and cut half a catty of spicy braised beef, bought a bean curd rice for one person, and ate it happily when he went home.

"It's so refreshing!" The hot bean curd rice and the delicious beef are really a comfortable meal. After the master finished eating, he didn't bother to clean up, so he just lay on the sofa and played with the computer.Brother Wuren, who was abandoned on the table, looked at all this angrily, and his resentment could not be dispelled.Because of this person, they became worthless gifts, and because of this person, he and his brother were separated alive. So much fun, no guilt at all.

Here, the master, who has no knowledge of the slander of Wuren mooncakes, clicks on his favorite website, enters the high-level VIP account skillfully, and opens a video to watch with gusto.

Damn human, Brother Wuren didn't want to see what he was doing, but the sharp voice from the computer, whether it was pain or joy, made him unable to ignore the scene.He raised his eyes, took a sneak peek, and was suddenly too scared to speak.

God, it's scary!

On the computer screen, two naked muscular men were touching each other, as if they were fighting, but not so violently, and biting mouth to mouth.After touching for a long time, one of them suddenly became fierce, pressed the other on the bed, spanked his ass, and stabbed a hard stick into a small hole.The one who was stabbed writhed and struggled, clutching the bed sheet tightly with both hands, screaming so loudly that tears flowed out.

very scary……

Brother Wuren shuddered a little. He didn't expect that the master who smiled gently at everyone during the day turned out to be a violent maniac!

"Brother, are you there? Something is wrong with me. I'm afraid I'll be killed. I'm going to die. You must avenge me!" The master looked at it for a while, then suddenly took out the stick hidden between his legs, and swiped up and down. rub up.That thing was exactly the same as the murder weapon used by the murderer on TV, but it was bigger, thicker and stronger.Brother Wuren was terrified when he saw it, for fear that the master would suddenly stab the thing into his body and kill him.

"Brother, I was brought home by the little apprentice, and I haven't been eaten yet." Because they are twins, Brother Wuren has the ability to transmit voices for thousands of miles: "What's wrong with you?"

"Ah——I'm going to die——" my brother screamed. It turned out that the master accidentally splashed some white liquid on him. The lethal attack, fainted from fright on the spot.

"Brother, what's wrong with you, brother!" The poor Wuren brother didn't know what happened over there, and he couldn't wake up his elder brother despite his endless calls.

"...It's a waste." Seeing his own things on the mooncake, the master who wanted to eat it struggled for a long time, and finally put the mooncake on the window sill: "Wait for some hungry kitty to come and eat it."

After that, I took a shower and went to bed.

Brother Wuren was lying on the window sill blowing the cold wind, and he woke up after a while. Seeing the bright moon cakes hanging in the sky, he suddenly felt sad, and shed a few tears sadly: "Wuwu, the moon cake lady, Wuren Empire The entire army has been wiped out. None of our companions ended up well. They were either reduced to gifts or passed on to others. Did you protect us? If you are still watching, please let me become a human and avenge everyone !"

I don't know whether his spirit touched the heavens, or his body was stained with spiritual energy. In short, a gust of wind shook the sky and the earth, and Brother Wuren also rolled into the house from the window sill.

"Brother, I've become a human!" He rolled around on the floor, hit his head on the corner of the table, screamed in pain, struggled instinctively, but saw that he had grown arms and legs.Looking down again, there was also a limp stick hanging between his legs. He swallowed: "Brother, I also have a weapon. Wait until I kill that master and avenge everyone."

"Brother, I have become a human too...but...uh..." Brother Wuren was not as lucky as his elder brother.

When he turned into a human, he was lying on the little apprentice in a very embarrassing manner, still sticking out his buttocks, naked.Because the little apprentice who was reluctant to waste was about to gnaw off the skin on his body, but his hand slipped and fell on his stomach, and he turned into a handsome man with a snap...

"Are you a moon cake?" Facing the handsome man who suddenly appeared, the little apprentice was quite calm, blinked, and held Wuren's younger brother's hand: "You're pretty pretty, how about being my wife?"

"Don't, don't eat me." Brother Wuren withdrew his hand tremblingly, and asked again: "What is a daughter-in-law?"

It turned out to be a natural fool, just in line with the appetite of the little apprentice. He smiled darkly, and pulled the stupid and trembling brother Wuren into his arms, held his face and kissed him fiercely: "Daughter-in-law just warms the bed for me." , the person who sleeps with me. Don’t worry, as long as you are my daughter-in-law, I will treat you well, buy you delicious food, take you to play, and won’t let you be wronged.”

After finishing speaking, the little apprentice turned over, pressed Wuren brother under his body, and raised his hands: "If you don't speak, you will accept it. Well, you smell like nuts, it smells so good."

"Because... because I am a five-nut mooncake..." Of course it tastes like nuts.

No, why are you talking about this to humans now? Remembering the oath we made to avenge humans when we parted, Brother Wuren put two fists on the apprentice's chest: "No, I can't be your daughter-in-law, I'm here Revenge, who asked you to treat us as a gift."

"Revenge, it's up to you?" The little apprentice laughed again, and played hand-to-hand combat with Wu Ren's brother on the bed: "Come on, I will let you take revenge if you overwhelm me!"

"Hmm." After 10 minutes, the exhausted brother Wuren was lying on the bed. The little apprentice supported his buttocks from behind, carefully moistened his buttocks with lubricant, then took out his own things and penetrated them all at once.Being expanded by a foreign object, Brother Wuren let out a scream in an instant, but after a few twitches, his painful voice became sweet and full of temptation: "I can't...ahah...ah..."

"Brother, what's wrong with you, brother!" Here, brother Wuren, who was frightened by his brother's strange cry, forgot that he was rubbing a small stick so that he could harden and kill the master.

Worry made him just stand there stiffly, calling out for his brother.His voice was so loud that he woke up the master who had already gone to bed.The master opened his eyes in a daze, got up and saw a handsome man with perfect height, weight and appearance standing in the living room of his house. Not only was he not wearing anything, but the thing was also raised high, looking proud.He swallowed, and felt a commotion in his body. Is it because the Moon Goddess took pity on him for working hard all his life, and he was almost thirty and hadn't found his sweetheart, so she gave him a beautiful man for the Mid-Autumn Festival?

Various thoughts popped up in my mind, and the master wanted to make a move, but he didn't dare to rush easily.But nothing can compare to what Brother Wuren said. When he saw someone standing in the aisle, he immediately yelled: "Big villain, wake up, I'm going to kill you, ahhh!"

Brother Wuren rushed over and threw the master down: "Look at me killing you with a weapon!"

It took a long time for the master with black lines to figure out what he meant by killing, so he took Brother Wuren's stick, rubbed it gently, and smiled brightly: "Sorry, I only kill, not be killed." !"

……

After a bout of strenuous exercise, Wuren's younger brother was tired and paralyzed in the apprentice's arms, complaining: "Obviously I am taller and stronger than you, why are you so much stronger than me?"

"Because I do odd jobs every day. A bag of flour is fifty catties. I carry two bags at a time. If I carry too much, I will become a strongman. And I am growing. In two years, I will definitely be taller than you." He is now 16 years old. , although his height is only 175, he is considered tall among his peers.Brother Wuren is half a head taller than him, about 182, but he is confident that he will surpass him within two years: "When the time comes, you will really be a shivering little wife curled up in my arms."

"You nonsense, who, whoever will be your wife, my brother will not let you go, and when he kills your master, he will come to seek revenge on you!" Brother Wuren insisted.

In fact, he had already heard his brother screaming. The sound was the same as before, it was painful at first, and then it became very comfortable...

"It's not that I look down on you, how can you kill someone with just two pieces of mooncakes? My master is not a vegetarian, so he carefully repaired your brother's teeth all over the place." The little apprentice picked his nose, and casually dialed the master's cell phone, The people exchanged briefly, and immediately figured out the ins and outs of the matter.

And the elder brother Wuren, who was clamoring to kill the master, was lying under the master in an awkward posture, unable to move and struggling in embarrassment.The master hung up the phone, bit Brother Wuren's back lightly, and said with a smile: "I was a professional boxer in the national team before I became a pastry chef, and I retired early because of an injury. I'm not afraid either."

"Bastard, I'm going to kill you!" He arched his back like a fish out of water, twisting his body desperately.

"If you're so energetic, let's come again." The master narrowed his eyes and folded his hands together: "Thank you for the gift of Empress Luna, I'm starting!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)) the screams in the night sky were loud (heavenly)!"

Three days later, the apprentice brought his coy daughter-in-law to the store and shouted from afar, "Master, you are obedient when you meet my daughter-in-law. Come on, Xiao Wuren, call Master."

Standing behind the little apprentice who was half a head shorter than him, Xiao Wuren timidly called out to Master, and then cast his eyes around.Knowing that he was looking for his brother, the master pointed to the operation inside and said with a smile: "Your brother is watching the oven inside, he is bored, you just go to accompany him."

As soon as the words fell, Xiao Wuren had already rushed into the operating room and plunged into his brother's arms: "Brother."

"Brother..." Too many things have happened in the past three days, so much that their little heads can't reflect and think about everything now.Brother Wuren was also in tears, choked up and said, "He treats you well."

Xiao Wuren nodded like pounding garlic.

Thinking of the little apprentice, Xiao Wuren felt very complicated.Although that big boy always bullied him with a big hard stick, he was really kind to him, gentle and considerate.So he smiled without hesitation, and held his brother's hand: "Don't worry, brother, he is very good to me."

"Master is good to me, too." Just as he was speaking, the oven dinged, indicating that it was time.Brother Wuren immediately put on cotton gloves and carefully pulled out the golden snack: "Look, the master also helped us develop a new taste of Wuren. It removed the lard that modern people don't like to eat, and reduced the sugar and nuts. In order to avoid too sweet and greasy, rose petals are added. The outer skin is made of soft and firm pie crust, which tastes chewy, but the inside is thin and crunchy nuts. The innermost part is more special, and the filling is mochi. So, don’t underestimate this little snack, it’s crispy on the outside and crispy on the inside, plus it’s dense inside, there are three flavors in total. In the past three days, he didn’t take a good rest to try new flavors, so you should try it.”

The small pastry smelled like roses, and Xiao Wuren quickly bit one, screaming, "It's delicious, it's delicious, I want to make mooncakes with such fillings, and Wuren's mooncakes can turn over again."

Hearing the joyful laughter from the room, the master pressed the sore eye sockets, feeling that the hard work of these days and nights was worth it.

"Master is such a lazy person, but he can do his best to be loved by others. I really love him." The little apprentice exaggeratedly shouted, ignoring his master's bloodshot eyes and glaring at him.The master retorted uncomfortably: "I just don't want the five kernels to disappear from everyone's sight. This traditional Chinese filling has a history of thousands of years. Except for making moon cakes, all kinds of pastries have their shadows. If only It would be a pity to step down from the stage because of changing tastes."

"Yeah, master is right." Looking inside, Brother Wuren smiled happily, and that kind of happiness also infected the two people outside the house: "I used to think Wuren was so bad, but now I can't get rid of it." Woolen cloth."

"Indeed." The master also let out a hearty laugh: "The world is delicious."

"Then why don't we go out of business today and go back for a few bites?"

"good idea!"

"What, go home now?" The wailing of the two brothers came from inside, and they knew what they were going to do when they went home at this time.However, why was there a faint joy in my heart when I was bullied by this pair of master and apprentice?

Being led by the master, he strode forward. Brother Wuren turned back and said to his younger brother, "Be happy."

"Yeah." The younger brother also smiled, and tightly held the little apprentice's hand: "Everyone wants to be happy."