there are wolves

In the heart of the mother, the son has always been gentle, gentle, and polite. Even during his most rebellious period, he was not as rude and violent as he was just now. For a moment, she was amazed at Yu Wangran felt unfamiliar with him due to his changes. Perhaps these accidents can be attributed to the word growth. It is time for a 17-year-old boy to experience some changes.

What's more, a young man who is not as good as the weak crown is just when any external stimulus may change him. Even if his nature is kind and mellow, his external appearance will inevitably undergo earth-shaking changes. Yu Mu is a psychological mentor. She has seen a lot of subtle psychological changes during adolescence, and she knows that she can't intervene arbitrarily, but can only quietly guide her. If the child lacks something, she can instill it in him, and if she has a surplus, she can expel it. Obviously, at this time, Yu Wangran is in her In her eyes, she was already too presumptuous, and his self-control was also hovering on the edge. This made Yu's mother feel that he had changed amazingly, and she urgently needed to have a detailed talk with him.

Yu Wangran was very hungry, so he ate a bucket of chicken soup brought by his mother along with the meat, and didn't explain anything to his mother and sister, he just ate his head in suspense.

After he finished eating, Yu's mother gave the thermos to Yu Xiangrong, and asked her to go to the water room to wash it out, then lifted up the chair that Zhan Yi was sitting on just now, and sat down beside his bed, dignifiedly. He folded his legs, put his hands lightly on one end of the armrest of the chair, and said, "Of course, you have something on your mind, can you tell me?"

Yu Wangran has long passed the age to confide his heart to his mother, and he has never even had a serious talk with his mother. He has grown up and no longer depends on anyone, and there is no one to help him resolve the depression in his heart. My heart is in a very sensitive situation, and I need to be comforted, but also shy to accept the comfort of my family.

"It's okay, Mom, I can take care of it myself"

Seeing that he was stubborn and stubborn, Yu's mother had to change the way, and said with a slight smile: "Okay, then do you need to consult me ​​if you have any questions? Mom is a psychological counselor, have you forgotten? You have any unhappiness in your heart that cannot be relieved." You can talk about your frustrations, mother only listens to 'effect' and doesn't ask 'cause'"

The wise mother's words hit Wangran's heart. Yu Wangran didn't need others to advise him, but he needed a professional to answer his doubts. He looked into his mother's eyes cautiously and said, "Luo Sihua, your students, you know"

Mother Yu nodded, raised her palm with a smile, and signaled him to continue, and she was listening carefully.

Yu Wangran exhaled softly, let out the pent-up depression in his heart, and gradually regained his composure, "Then you must already know about her brother. A few days ago, Luo Xunyi also It's her brother, Luo Xunyi's friend told me that he suffers from a mental illness called bipolar disorder, and occasionally loses control of his emotions, and when it is severe, he is accompanied by suicidal tendencies."

Yu Wangran uttered these words with difficulty as if prying an oyster out of a pearl, before he finished speaking, he stopped without thinking, lowered his eyes to look at the snow-white sheets, as if he fell into some imaginary sadness for a moment middle.

Yu's mother said: "I know about him. What are you sad about? Are you feeling unlucky for him? However, my mother is more frank. You have refused to visit him until now. You are not only feeling unlucky for him." Sad, are you afraid to see him, right? Like now, I see hesitation and fear in your eyes, but you don’t need to be afraid, right? His illness has nothing to do with you, oh... Are you doubting your relationship with him?"

In Yu's mother's words, Yu Wangran's heart was shocked, his heart beat suddenly fast, and he looked into his mother's eyes in horror, but saw the kindness and calmness on her face.

"I can understand some of the feelings between you boys. You value friendship and friendship. You have such a good relationship with him. You have only brought him home in the past few years. Obviously, you have put your heart into interacting with him. , I value this friend very much. Now that you know that your friend is mentally ill, you are worried that when you are in a relationship with him, he will be like an actor wearing a mask. When you take off the mask on his face, he doesn't recognize you and doesn't recognize the relationship between you, you are afraid of being hurt, right?"

Yu Wangran said: "...Yes"

Mother Yu shook her head lightly and said, "But of course, if you think so, it would be too unfair to your friend."

Yu Wangran asked, "Why?"

Yu Mu said: "Over the years, I have come into contact with many children with mental disorders. Mental patients are just the result of further deterioration of mental disorders. There are many children who are similar to your friends, some are born with autism, and some Those who become depressed the day after tomorrow also have manic suicidal tendencies. Your friends also experienced the same childhood as them, and it will intensify and become a disease when they grow up. These children, I mean those children who are closed and depressed and have suicidal tendencies, they Their hearts are very lonely and empty. They are extremely unwilling to believe in others, and they are also unwilling to be kind to others. It is difficult for such children to be pleased and warmed. Their hearts are a black hole that absorbs only the malice and evil of the world. In the dark, it is difficult for them to be happy, let alone happy. They look forward to communicating with this world, but at the same time they are deeply afraid. You can imagine that if your world is only endless black and white noise, you can’t see the colors in other people’s world. What will happen to you? Will you become more and more withdrawn and lonely? If no one saves your loneliness, Then you are equivalent to entering a desperate situation."

Yu Wangran asked: "You mean, he came to me only because he was lonely?"

Mother Yu said: "No, no, what about your self-confidence? Just imagine, how can a child with a closed and dark heart be willing to accept help from others? He must have seen the sunshine and felt kindness and warmth before he took the initiative to seek help from you. Help, then how much courage does he need to pay? Think about it, is such a child confident? No, any disturbance will alarm them and crush them. He must have given a lot of courage and determination to be able to Will approach you for help, isn't that enough to show that he cares about you? Your rejection is a disaster for him, and he is willing to endure such a disaster, which is enough to show that he is sincerely interacting with you, but, Do you think a psychopath is downright crazy?"

"I, I didn't"

"You have, you are blinded by fear, and you don't want to think. Thinking will bring you pain, so you choose to put it aside. When did you become so weak? This is not good. I tell you, mental patients are not Completely crazy, what they do is not a performance on the stage, if you treat them with your heart, then you will get ten times and a hundred times in return, you just met him in the world, but to them, you It's his whole world"

Yu Wangran's eyelashes trembled a few times, tears trickled down the corners of his eyes, the corners of his lips were raised slightly, as if he wanted to cry, but also wanted to laugh: "Am I his whole world?"

Mother Yu got up and sat beside him, and the landlord touched his shoulder, saying: "If they don't believe you, they won't approach you. On the contrary, why don't you believe him? I guess, he must want to be with you very much." Make friends and you save his loneliness, you save his life"

"...does he just, think of me as a friend?"

"A very good friend"

Yu Wangran sat in a daze for a while, pulled up the quilt and slowly lay down, facing the wall and closed his eyes and said, "I see, Mom, I want to sleep for a while."

Mother Yu patted his arm lightly and said, "If you're not feeling well, the school can ask for two days off."

Yu Wangran replied without thinking, "No, I'm going to school tomorrow."

The next day, Yu Wangran returned home in the morning and tidied up, put his schoolbag on his back and went to school. He didn't take a bus or ride a bicycle. He went to school along the path by the lake in Central Park, distracted by looking at the lake. , his mind is both clear and muddled, as if the soul has been extracted from the body, dissociated outside the body, clear and clear, even the changes in his own expression can be clearly seen, but also vague like an outsider from the third perspective, making him dizzy How annoying it is to feel indecisive all at once.

His current state is like a willow branch awakened by the morning breeze on the shore. Looking at the clear sky, he stretches cautiously and slowly. His muscles and bones are relaxed, but his mind is empty, and his thinking is rapidly stretching in this vast world. After a while, they curled up quietly and retracted. It seemed that the pedestrians in the heavy snow had their hands and feet frozen. When they saw the bonfire, they stretched out their hands to roast without thinking. After being touched by the flames, they retracted immediately, eliminating the excitement and joy of seeing hope , and then quietly roasting the fire, only to empty my head and stay with the fire of hope so foolishly, do I have to write a poem with gratitude like a poet?He really didn't.

When he arrived in the classroom, the whole class knew that he was going on strike for a day. Several activists applauded him and said that he would have to take the Tsinghua University exam if he survived the catastrophe. Yu Wangran put his schoolbag on his desk and bowed to the man Thank you: "Thank you for your good words."

It was still too early, and there was still nearly half an hour before the morning reading. He sat on his seat and took out his mobile phone to contact Shen Shaoyou, but he interrupted the call.

He doesn't like Shen Shaoyou, it can even be said that he hates him. He hates the way Shen Shaoyou looks at him, just like when an older child sees a toy that a child likes, he is frivolous and arrogant. This person is too self-righteous, just like him .

Yu Wangran will not admit it, he is jealous of Shen Shaoyou.

Lin Shuer came soon, and she was accompanied by Xue Mingyao. This girl was stimulated the day before yesterday. He was hospitalized yesterday but did not hear from her. Today he came to school and this girl gave him a bad look , I think it really annoyed him.

Xue Mingyao secretly winked at him, intentionally acting as a mouthpiece between them, and asked, "Are you cured?"

Yu Wangran said, "I had a fever yesterday, I'm fine."

Lin Shu'er leaned heavily on the seat, and sneered: "What's wrong with having a fever? Is it serious? Or how about finding a few gangsters to take you away for treatment?"

Yu Wangran sighed helplessly, patted Xue Mingyao on the shoulder, and walked towards Lin Shuer.

As soon as he sat down in the seat in front of Lin Shu'er, Lin Shu'er raised her face and said to him, "Go away, I'll be cold as soon as you come over, and a cold-blooded poisonous insect like you should go to hibernation forever."

Yu Wangran parted his lips and smiled: "I would like to ask you a few words."

"Not a word!"

"Shuer, it's fine"

"Who is wrong? Hello, I am good, everyone, the world is peaceful."

Yu Wangran stood up with his eyebrows pressed, and walked away from her without a word, pursing his lips.

Lin Shu'er also stood up with him, and said: "You can't be wronged, you can't be neglected, Yu Wangran, why are you so selfish, so timid, so cowardly, whoever gets along with you will spend eight lifetimes Blood mold, you fly before the disaster is imminent, cold-blooded hibernating animals are not as ruthless as you! Isn’t Wan Muchun in front of the sick tree? Is there no fragrant grass in the end of the world? The words you said before were eaten by dogs Isn’t it? I don’t ask you for anything else, it’s okay to explain clearly and give others a good time, right? Do you know what he asked me yesterday? He asked me if you had forgotten him! It’s really worrying, Fish are more affectionate than you!"

Although Xue Mingyao understood what was going on inside, he also felt that Lin Shuer's words were too hurtful, and it was really unfair to forget the painful struggles of Yu Wangwang these days in a moment of anger.

He pushed Lin Shuer down and sat down, turned his head and said to Wang Ran: "I was also at home at the time, he was not well, it's better to go and see him, I think...you should be more useful than a doctor"

Lin Shuer was still angry, and scolded: "Dr. Black Heart!"

It was the first time for Yu Wangran to be hit in the heart and scolded bloody head. He was not angry, but a little happy. It was not the joy of getting rid of white emotions, but the feeling that the rotten scar on his body was finally uncovered. The exhilaration of the pain, this kind of masochistic pain, is the freshest and most vivid emotion he has ever felt these days, otherwise he would really suspect that he is just like Lin Shuer said, a person who needs to hibernate Winter sting.

Yu Wangran's face was very ugly, he stood for a while, returned to his seat and slowly warmed up his body, and finished the day's lessons.

After scolding Yu Wangran, Lin Shuer felt happy, and she was willing to talk to him on the way home from school that day, even though she was still pointing and cursing Huai with insinuations.

"Eh? Yu Wangran, where are you going to sleep today? At home? Then I'll sleep in the hut, anyway, you don't need it anymore"

Listening to her, it seemed like he was renting a cottage just to have an affair with someone.

Yu Wangran thought it was a bit funny, but when he thought about it carefully, the reason why he insisted on moving out at that time seemed to be such an inexplicable layer, so he stopped the corners of his lips from laughing.

Xue Mingyao stared at her, and asked directly without ambiguity or hiding: "Wang Ran, have you contacted the senior?"

Yu Wangran said the truth: "Not yet"

Xue Mingyao asked: "Then what do you think?"

Lin Shu'er snorted: "What else can he think? Hide far away."

Yu Wangran rubbed his forehead and didn't respond.

Xue Mingyao pushed Lin Shuer forward helplessly: "Hurry up and go home."

Lin Shuer glanced at them resentfully: "Fake loyalty is the most childish, so you can help him from beginning to end!"

After sending Lin Shuer away, the world was much quieter. Xue Mingyao hesitated for a moment, and said cautiously, "Can I say a few words?"

Yu Wangran exhaled lightly, nodded and said, "Let's talk."

"Do you like him? I can see that you treat him better than anyone who liked you before. I think it's not easy to find someone you really like. And since you both confessed to each other, it's okay It’s not easy to be together, you are all brave, if any one of you is not strong enough or not brave enough, you will not make it to this point, you are a person who takes your relationship very seriously, you would rather lack than abuse, and choose the best Take, look at your attitude towards Liu Xueying, since you have chosen senior Luo, you will definitely not be as ruthless as Shuer said, as for the senior's illness..."

Xue Mingyao raised a smile gentler than that of a girl, turned his head to look at the lake and said, "It's really nothing. If I'm as lucky as you, I don't care if he is really crazy. Crazy is crazy, anyway. I have chosen to be crazy, and I refuse to hide in the dark night, and I always have to bear some prejudice and misunderstanding when exposed to the sun. It is a good thing to be crazy and fearless, at least I can’t feel so much malice... Forget it, I To be honest with you, I really envy you and envy you very much. I always regard you as an imaginary enemy and compare with you. You are better than me from head to toe, from the inside to the outside. You are too lucky, Shu Er, your family, and Luo Xunyi are all your luck. You are living in a warm, happy and kind-hearted living environment. You are like a feather that falls from a swan. Still, there will always be someone who holds and loves you on top of their hearts, but forget about it, there is not only your happiness in the world, but also other people’s misfortunes. You accept too much kindness, so you don’t value people so much. ', you can choose one person to replace another person at any time and accept the other person's love, but you are just an exception, a feather that falls from your body is an armor against the wind and cold for some people, this world has your perfect , There are also other people's incompleteness and imperfection, such as me, and Senior Luo, we are actually a bit alike, we are all lonely and poor people, I am not qualified to talk about him, just say me, I like... a People, but I have never said it, because my childhood, my experience, and my weakness did not allow me to push myself to a position where people can choose and leave. The most useless thing in the world is flashy self-esteem. I am ashamed. I am also afraid of letting my feelings hang out under the blue sky for people to enjoy and watch, so I would rather die lonely and painful than ask others to help me and give me a hand. I think Senior Luo should be about the same as me, But he is braver than me, dare to fight for you, you are smarter than me, I can figure out these things, why are you still confused?"

Xue Mingyao said: "When you walk in the daytime, there are still people who walk with you in the dark with suffering. You can keep a distance from him, but don't abandon him."

When you walk in the daytime, there are people who walk with you in the dark with suffering...

How well this sentence was said, Yu Wangran was like a bole who met a thousand-mile horse, Peng Bai was moved again, like a cow chewing his cud, he recited this sentence upside down, thinking, like opening a window in his mind, The dark and moss-grown area was exposed to light and light, and the dividing line between white and night quickly hid in the corner, leaving a piece of clean and healthy soil.

"I see, thank you"

Xue Mingyao didn't urge him to take further action. After getting the news that he was going back to live in the hut tonight, he bought some ingredients and went home. After returning home, he washed his hands and cooked. The peaceful small courtyard resumed the "family of two".

As soon as Yu Wangran changed his clothes and came out, he smelled a familiar fragrance, sniffed his nose and said, "It smells so good? Do you want noodles?"

Xue Mingyao was wearing an apron and was frying the stew. The steam from the kettle on the kitchen counter rubbed his face until it was so soft that it was so soft.

"Didn't you say that the noodles I make are the best?"

The noodles came out, Yu Wangran took a sip, gave him a thumbs up and said: "I really hope you can confess to Shuer, really, that silly girl can't make such delicious noodles in her life, won't the fat and water flow to outsiders' fields?" , you will have it soon"

Xue Mingyao laughed happily, and a layer of bright red appeared on his wet and white face that was smothered by water vapor.

The two sat opposite each other and finished eating, Yu Wangran took the initiative to clean up the dishes and took them to the sink to wash, Xue Mingyao said hard, and then went back to the room.

I haven't done any housework these days, and the dishes are all dirty, and I almost slipped and dropped my hands several times. Thanks to his quick eyesight and quick hands, Xue Mingyao would definitely feel distressed.

After washing the dishes, when he was wiping the kitchen counter with a rag, the mobile phone on the dining table rang suddenly, it was a notification tone of a text message.

He washed his hands and walked over to pick up his phone, relying on the dining table to open the text message from this strange number.

If there is an afterlife, I will be a tree, standing forever, without any joy or sorrow.

Chen Maoping's poem, but only the first two lines were sent.

Yu Wangran read it twice, the corners of her lips slightly raised, her expression was joyful and relaxed, like an educator who found a poem answer sheet that satisfied her, with a calm and gentle smile on her face, not in a hurry He typed out the following text without delay, and before he had time to send it out, he saw several text messages arriving intermittently.

The second rule - half is peaceful in the soil, half is flying in the wind, half is in the shade, and half is bathing in the sun.

The third rule - if there is an afterlife, be a bird and fly through eternity without the trouble of getting lost.

Article [-] - There is flaming hope in the east, warm nest beds in the south, retreating the setting sun to the west, and awakening fragrance to the north.

The last one reads - I am back, I left in black a few months ago, and now I come back in colorful clothes, are you happy?

Yu Wangran read through the text messages one by one, and found that he had turned the period for himself, took off the black clothes and put on colorful ones, what does that mean?Are things going for the better?hope so.

He held the mobile phone in his hand, and looked at the inkpot-like night outside the window, as if he was waiting for someone in the night, the small door in the courtyard seemed to be knocked at any moment, and then Luo Xunyi walked in, they hugged each other, Forgive me, just don't let go.

After waiting for a short time, Yu Wangran's stretched beautiful eyebrows suddenly frowned slightly, a gloom and fear pressed on his face from light to heavy like a ink-stained brush, panicked as if in a rest The disturbed flying insects spun around in a panic for a moment, then flapped their wings and flew away.

He suddenly ran out.

He didn't love Chen Maoping, and it took him a long time to remember that the last text message was more than a short sentence, and the second half of the sentence was - when saying goodbye to you, the sun was shining brightly, and in the silent cemetery, there was only the sound of cicadas chirping.

Made by Ms. Sanmao in honor of her deceased husband.