Cupid winks

Ben looked at me, blinked his eyes, scratched the back of his hand, and choked up: "You can't be like this...you can't always be like this..." He covered his face and said, "I thought you would get better, I don't mind you What to do, I don't mind what other people think of you or our relationship, but I think your essence is good..."

I sighed and said, "I'm sorry for you, sorry."

He still covered his face and asked me: "Have you ever loved me?"

I said, "It's a pleasure to be with you, and there is no burden."

Ah Bin laughed, and asked again: "Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"Are you going to see the same person these days?"

I sat down and said, "Yes."

I lit a cigarette and said, "I don't love him."

"He gave you a lot of money?"

I shook my head, Ah Bin looked at me, and I shook my head at him again.I took a few tissues for him, Ah Bin wiped his eyes, and said, "Have you ever loved anyone? How can you be so indifferent? You make me suffer like this, you know?"

I said, "Are you really going to take me to Kuala Lumpur?"

Ah Bin lowered his eyes, sniffed, and blew his nose loudly with a tissue.

He whispered: "I really loved you."

He said: "I think about you every day." After a pause, he added: "I want to go to many places with you."

I asked him, "Is this considered loving someone?"

If this is the only way to love someone, I have never loved anyone.I was with Yin Liangyu, I didn't think about him every day, and I couldn't think of where to go with him.All I thought about was that we would go to the cafe near the school, go to the library, and I would even sneak into his office, which I found exciting.We separated, I was very lost, and my heart was empty.

I also thought it would be exciting to take the seniors in the upper grades and the juniors in the lower grades home, and tell my mother, this is my classmate, we will study together, do homework, smoke in the room, and masturbate to each other.After the cigarette was finished, we separated, and I was also very lost.

Abin asked me: "You don't love him, and it's not because of money, so why did you go to see him?" He looked at me with resentment in his eyes, "He's very good in bed?"

I said, "No."

I said, "I won't feel lost when I'm separated from him, and I won't feel empty in my heart. After I'm separated from you, I feel like something is missing. He...he is dispensable."

He won't bring me any more disappointments, he won't bring me any more hurt, and he won't give me any fantasies, any fantasies about getting out of here, out of the status quo.

Ah Bin held her head, choked and said, "You are so hateful! You speak like it's my fault!"

I broke up with Abin and separated.I walked back to the dormitory alone. In the dead of night, I opened the door gently and entered the room quietly.The lights in the room were not turned on, and Xiuxiu was sitting in the living room, on the floor, in front of a row of vases, under the moonlight, smoking a cigarette.She saw me, I saw her, I shook the paper box in my hand towards her, Xiuxiu smiled, got up and walked over, took the blueberry pie in my hand and went to the kitchen.

I walked over to where she had been sitting, sat down, and lit a cigarette.The row of vases against the wall has been transformed from a complete piece of porcelain to a collage of fragments.I counted, originally we bought ten pieces, but now there are only nine pieces left, I picked up one and looked at it, 90.00% of the pieces of this one are the mud-like color, only a few pieces of turquoise , against the background of many mud colors, it looks beautiful and fresh, and it has a bit of emerald meaning.

Xiuxiu came back with two plates of sliced ​​blueberry pie, and I said, "I can't eat it."

She bent down, crossed her legs, sat next to me, took a small bite of blueberry pie from a plate, pointed to the vase in my hand, and said to me, "This is for you."

She added: "Happy Birthday!"

I smiled, put down the vase in my hand, and said, "The color of this one is not very pretty."

Xiuxiu said, "You want to say ugly?"

I didn't speak, and she said in a natural tone: "So I gave it to you, your life is too ugly and unfortunate." She protected the other vases, "Don't play other people's ideas, this is for you, Seeing that you picked it at a glance, it means that you are really destined, and your inner attraction attracts each other."

I laughed out loud, Xiuxiu looked at the closed bedroom door, winked at me, put a finger on her lips.I nodded. Hehe's mother had a hard time coming in, and the quality of sleep was very poor. We didn't want to disturb her.Xiuxiu and I talked softly.

I told her: "I broke up with Ah Bin."

Xiuxiu fanned the air with her hand and said, "Kuala Lumpur is so hot, it's too hot."

I said: "He asks me what I want to eat every morning, what I plan to eat at night, and when I eat, he asks me what I had for lunch. He looks at his mobile phone and WeChat to study which new restaurants are trendy."

Xiuxiu said: "People have so many desires, and appetite occurs most frequently and is the easiest to satisfy. Otherwise, you can see why there are so many food documentaries and are so popular."

I said, "I go out and sleep with other people every day."

Xiuxiu said: "Many people get divorced because of uncoordinated sex life."

I was quite surprised: "You are a bit abnormal today, why do you follow me in everything?"

Xiuxiu winked and made strange faces: "If a person's birthday is not going well, doesn't he want to question life, why am I born? So do you want to blame him, or do you want to blame yourself?"

I couldn't come up with it for a while, but after thinking for a while, I said, "I'm just stating the objective facts. He and I were happy too. It's good to be happy. That's what love comes and goes."

"what happened?"

"It's pleasing to the eye, can communicate, can burp, and can fart."

Xiuxiu looked at me with wide eyes: "So you love me and Hehe's mother so much! I just know!"

I also stared: "Of course I love you!"

Xiuxiu was still staring: "Those two people who don't like each other and can't communicate with each other are not married. They don't have the bondage of marriage, property, family, and children. Are they together? Isn't that true love?"

My throat was sore, I didn't speak, and coughed.

Xiuxiu continued to ask me: "So you don't love Ah Bin anymore, so you slept with someone else? Did you fall in love with that other person?" She licked her lower lip, wiped the puff pastry from the corner of her mouth, and said, "I'm not The first person to say happy birthday to you?"

I said: "I really have no way to communicate with him, and we don't talk too much."

Xiuxiu looked at me more seriously, with a kind of study and inquiry in her seriousness.I lowered my head and patted my trouser legs, shook the cigarette ash, and said, "I'm talking about Ye Haowen."

Xiuxiu patted her chest, breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "I thought he was going to become Voldemort, so he couldn't even mention his name."

I laughed and pushed her: "Nervous."

Xiuxiu took another two mouthfuls of blueberry pie, smoked, pointed at the other vases, and introduced them one by one: "Here, this one is for Xiaobao, this one is for Hehe's mother, and this one, I want to give to Manager Fan, and this one for Mrs. Box box, for s, for my father, and this for Ye Haowen."

I looked at the vase she was planning to give to Ye Haowen, and there were a lot of ugly pieces, which was comparable to the one she gave me.I wondered: "He has so many misfortunes? How is it possible?"

Xiuxiu picked up the vase and handed it to me, but I didn't pick it up, so Xiuxiu held it, turned it around, looked at the vase, and said: "People are different, the ugliness and beauty of their lives depend on whether they have People love him."

I snorted and said, "He went to the bar to sit for half an hour, and the ten fingers of the people who posted upside down couldn't be counted."

Xiuxiu put down the vase and said, "They love him for ten seconds, one minute, one night? One week? Ten nights?"

"That's not enough?"

"You are really a contemporary fast-moving youth. You need to be fast in everything, fast in eating, fast in mobile phones, fast in Internet speed, and fast forward in watching TV dramas. You want to know the end after seeing the beginning. Love comes and goes quickly. quick!"

I said, "Do you think it's realistic to love for a lifetime?" I suddenly thought, "Oh, it's quite realistic for him. He loves Sun Yu for a long time."

I said: "Sun Yu is getting married, and he asked me to ask if you plan to go to the wedding banquet." I smoked and said, "He cheated on me again, pretending to be pitiful, and he asked me if he likes me."

Xiuxiu smiled, and said, "Did he give you the feeling that you are in a hurry to go to the doctor, and a dead horse is a living horse doctor?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my shoulders.I said, "Do you have to love someone? What does he pursue? What does he want? The feeling of being loved? Can't he live well? Does it have to be me?"

Xiuxiu looked at me, I was speechless, yes, do I have to love someone, do I have to fall into some vortex?Can't a person live well?Does it have to be a specific person?

I raised my hand in surrender and smiled.I really should ask myself this question, and I should really laugh at myself.

Xiuxiu said: "He liked you when he was in college, you know that, right?"

Some soot fell on my shoes, I blew on it, and said, "The prime minister can hold a boat in his stomach, and it is estimated that he can hold 2000 million people in his stomach."

Xiuxiu covered her mouth and laughed. After laughing, she put the plate on the ground, hugged her knees, and looked at me with her head tilted. She stretched out her hands to straighten my hair, stroked the end of my hair, and said, "The word love It sounds really nice and moving.”

I said, "Sugar-coated cannonballs."

Xiuxiu asked me: "Why do you want to see him? Ye Haowen told me that you jumped off his car and said that you said you never wanted to see him again. He said that he felt sorry for you, but also felt sorry for you. He didn't feel sorry for you at all, he thought you were hateful."

I said, "Abin also thinks I'm hateful."

I also said: "Don't hate me, don't you hate me?"