Cupid winks

Going to buy a bouquet of roses, I will look at the flowers and tell myself silently that the flowers will wither and wither.

I'm going to buy a bouquet of roses.

I took a breath, patted my chest, and walked on.But after walking a few steps, I couldn't walk anymore, so I had to rest by the side of the road, leaning against the fence.Ye Haowen came over and sat next to me. He offered me water, but I didn't take it.I said, "Let's go. I haven't had a second car for half a day. I'm going to waste social resources and call for rescue in the mountains. If you don't go, you'll be on TV."

Ye Haowen said: "Last night, Sun Yu and I were not the first time."

I was so exhausted that I could only speak in a breathless voice: "None of my business."

He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Do you remember when you were a sophomore, when freshmen started school, you went to give them a welcome speech, talking about the bright future of college students and their dreams in life."

I couldn't take it anymore, and before he could say any more nonsense, I said, "You want to talk about my college life so much? Is there an ex who committed suicide when he was in college, and he will drag his dead body with him for the rest of his life?" ?I haven’t graduated from university, I have no future, and I have no dreams. I just idle around all day, can’t I? Otherwise, help me think about the meaning of my life. How should I live at this age to be meaningful? Find a wife Getting married? I don’t have a car, no house, no stable job, and besides, I like men, and I’m cheating to marry a woman. I can’t do it. I’m doing business? What kind of business? I only know how to read, I know too much, I don’t even have a diploma, my dream... My dream since I was a child is my mother’s dream, to be a doctor. I can’t realize it, I can’t live a meaningful life, At least I can be happy, can't people be happy? I can also want to be happy."

I asked him, "What? Am I not qualified?"

Ye Haowen lit two cigarettes, handed one to me, and smoked the other himself.He didn't speak, and I also fell silent.We smoke.

After a long time, Ye Haowen said: "Yesterday Xiuxiu asked me, she hasn't been home with me for a long time, do you want us to go back and see my parents. She used to go back every week to have a meal with my parents, It’s true that I haven’t been there for a while, and my mother also asked about me. I said, I don’t want to go back again.”

I took a deep puff of the cigarette, and Ye Haowen continued: "My mother came to Rongshi on the 2nd of this month, and she found a genetic laboratory here, and I was busy with Sun Yu's tour before." At that time, she kept urging me to do a genetic test, saying that it was for the consideration of future children, and I would check the genetic diseases of the offspring first, so I did it. On the 2nd, the report came out, and she came from Fengshun to go with me. Listen to the doctor's analysis." He smiled and shook off some soot, "I have no problems, I am very healthy, and I don't have any genetic diseases. After the doctor's analysis, my mother asked the doctor whether I have a high chance of liver cancer. The doctor To put it bluntly, I haven’t heard of any relatives in my family suffering from liver cancer, so I asked why I wanted to find out about it. My mother said that the woman who gave birth to me had liver cancer recently and died.”

Ye Haowen raised his head and looked ahead. We were facing a small slope with barbed wire fences and thin young trees planted on the slope.Ye Haowen's voice was soft.

"I always knew that I was born by a surrogate. My mother was afraid of getting out of shape and pain. I told the doctor, but the surrogate mother's physique should not affect me. My mother said, that is your biological mother. I asked her what it meant. She said it was literally."

"My biological mother is a maid in the family. My mother wants a child, but I don't want to have one myself. My father thinks it doesn't matter if I want a child or not. But as a man, it doesn't seem to matter if I have an extra sleep. Anyway, after I give birth , My mother drove the maid away." Ye Haowen had already finished smoking a cigarette, he took out the cigarette case, it was empty, I handed him my cigarette.He didn't smoke, just held it in his hand, sat bent over, looked at the small slope with an exploratory look, and said: "I asked her, where is her graveyard? She said, according to her own wishes , the ashes were scattered in the river. I asked her why she died, but you didn’t tell me. She said, I’ve raised you for so many years, you’d better find out who your mother is. She also said that she had advanced liver cancer. I sent her to the best nursing home to take care of her, hospice care, and I have done my best. Yesterday, I talked to Xiuxiu about it."

I took the mineral water in his hand, took a sip, and asked him, "Do you want to send me to the emergency room?"

Ye Haowen lowered his head, and lowered the hand holding the cigarette, and said, "It's me."

"what?"

"The person who took the photo was me." Ye Haowen lowered his head even lower, and his voice was still clear, "But I really didn't put it on the forum, it really wasn't me, it was Ah Biao in my phone See, secretly copied and sent out, he has suffered from Yin Liangyu. I don't have any contact with him anymore."

I was a little confused and pushed him: "What are you talking about?"

Ye Haowen raised his head and said, "It's about Yin Liangyu."

I see.I said, "I see."

"You're really a bit cold-blooded." Ye Haowen said with his eyebrows pinched.

I said, "You suddenly told me this, I need to digest it."

Ye Haowen looked at me, only out of the corner of his eye, and looked very quickly, furtively.He said: "I haven't been able to find a good time to tell you that when I see you... I feel very sorry."

After I digested it, I stood up, but I couldn't stand firmly. Ye Haowen helped me, and I shook off his hand.I totally get it.Why does he always mention Yin Liangyu, why is he so obsessed with his suicide, why does he want to know what he was thinking when he died so much.

He feels guilty.He felt sorry for Yin Liangyu, and he also felt sorry for me.

From the beginning to the end, Ye Haowen and I depended on Yin Liangyu's death to maintain our bond.I looked at Ye Haowen, and I wanted to say, so that's the case, but what else can I talk to him about?

He came to me time and time again, he called me, he gave me money, a lot of money, he helped me take care of Feng Fangfang, joke, why take care of me, he is atonement.Through me, through Feng Fangfang.In his eyes, we are Yin Liangyu's golden body left in the world, approaching us can reduce his sins and remove his obstacles.

So he waits for me.

I'm bored, utterly bored.I have to go, I have to go, I have to go, just like ten years ago when I left the wind, I walked downstairs from the house, and I didn't look back.

I threw away the water bottle, the cigarette, limped, and walked forward step by step.Don't look back, don't stop.Even if someone calls me this time, don't stop after catching up.

Ye Haowen caught up.Of course he will catch up.He yelled: I'm sorry, Shuxue, don't be angry, I really didn't mean to hide it from you.

He's got me, of course he's going to get me, and if he doesn't he'll be himself sunk by a man's death.He's going to drag me down, he needs someone involved, an accomplice, an accomplice.He read too many Japanese crime novels.He doesn't know me too well, he doesn't know that I have come out, my soul has been freed long ago, I have forgiven anyone's death, and I have forgiven everyone, those who abandoned me, those who slandered me, I also forgave myself for those who hurt me, but my physical body reacted too slowly, and I was still floating in the sea of ​​suffering.

Ye Haowen's cell phone rang and kept ringing. He took it out to see, it was Sun Yu.

He didn't pick up.

I look at him.He looked at me too, and he spoke.What he said was: "A classmate in my class said that in the cafe where he worked, a teacher from our school had sex with students, both of whom were men."

He pursed his lips, his eyes flickered for a moment, and he blinked before continuing: "I secretly photographed you messing around with the associate professor. I wanted to coerce you and threaten you. I thought, what kind of outstanding student representative, advanced learning object, we What do you want to learn from you? Learn from you to be a teacher?"

I blurted out: "Why does it sound like the plot of a tertiary movie?"

Ye Haowen said, "How do you know I was inspired by tertiary films?"

"Which one?" I asked.

Before Ye Haowen could answer, the phone rang again, this time it was mine, Xiaobao called me, I answered, his voice was trembling, and said: "Shuxue, can you come to Feitian Road now The police station, Shuxue, I can only think of you..."

Xiaobao was arrested, saying it was because of possession of guns.Ye Haowen drove me to the police station. I couldn't walk well, so he helped me in.There were only two policemen in the police station. One was typing in front of the computer, and the other was smoking while reading a newspaper. His face was very black.Xiao Bao sat on a wooden bench against the wall.He huddled in a very corner, and when I entered, I called him first.

"Little Treasure." I raised my arm and waved to him.

Xiaobao shivered, looked up at me, his lips trembled, then looked at me up and down, crying, howling.

"Brother! What's wrong with you!"

Only then did the two policemen notice me, and I also noticed that one of Xiaobao's wrists was handcuffed to the armrest of the bench.

The policeman reading the newspaper asked me, "Are you Qian Xiaobao's cousin?"

I said: "Yes." I took out my ID card and said politely, "My surname is Shu, comrade policeman, what happened to Xiaobao? You said it was because of the gun?"

Ye Haowen found a stool, asked me to sit down, took out cigarettes with a smile, handed out cigarettes, and said nothing.The policeman pinched my ID card and asked me: "You are from Fengshun, and he is from Qingyuan. You two relatives are far enough apart."

I said: "Distant relative, distant relative, his mother is the second niece of my father's cousin and third cousin, and they all come to the financial market to make a living, so they take care of each other."

the cops don't stop