Back to 1993 through time travel

Gao Jianfeng held the videotape in his hand, and felt that the title of the film was incomprehensible, and the translation was like a sick sentence: "Why did you choose this film?"

Xia Tian was on guard against him asking, stood up and explained: "Anyway, I haven't seen it. The other titles seem to be European. You don't want to hear French or German, right? This one looks like it's American. It's time to practice listening." .”

This is, Idaho, well, clearly written, a state in the United States, if the story happened there, it must be spoken in English.

Gao Jianfeng didn't ask any more questions. He connected the video recorder, then moved out two chairs and said, "Let's make do with it. The place is small, and the TV is small too. See if the picture is clear."

The results lived up to Xia Tian's expectations, the quality of the dubbing was very clear, Gao Jianfeng sat down and got up again, rummaged in the side cabinet for a while, and actually took out bags of peanuts and cans of beer.

Xia Tian watched silently, and seeing him pile things up on the ponytail in front of him, he couldn't help laughing: "Your confinement is too chic, in fact, I think your father treats you very well, how much freedom he gives you, don't worry Chagang, you have so many messy things here, don’t tell me he doesn’t know anything about it.”

Gao Jianfeng glanced at him: "I hid this before. It doesn't matter if he knows it or not. I'm not interested in knowing what's going on in his heart. Come on, boss, please play the film."

This is the private movie showing time for the two of them. A light in front of the bed is turned on, and Gao Jianfeng has adjusted it to a gentle brightness that is not dazzling. On the small screen, the movie that Xia Tian has seen before and still remembers the outline is slowly kicking off.

When I watched this film in my previous life, Xia Tian was still a junior high school student. It is said that this film has won awards, but as an early gay film, the filming is not as passionate as many later films.

The reason why he looked for it back then was also out of curiosity. After he clearly knew his sexual orientation, he had extensively searched for a bunch of similar videos, hoping to understand what kind of life other "similar" people are living.

The protagonists of the story are two beautiful boys, Mike and Scott.The two are engaged in the so-called unhealthy occupations, that is, male prostitutes. They both seem to be low-level people with hardships, each with their own tragedy, but their identities are very different.

Mike is delicate and fragile, with picturesque features, but he is a child born of incest between his mother and his elder brother. He often faints. Every time before he faints, he can always see jumping flying fish, pure white roofs, and fleeting clouds in the sky... ...He wanted to find his missing mother, and on the way to find it, he couldn't help falling in love with his partner Scott.

Keanu Reeves, who was still young at the time, played Scott. He was handsome and free-spirited, with a kind of facial paralysis.

Unlike Mike, Scott's family is wealthy, his father is the mayor, and many people around him love him since he was a child. The reason why he ran away from home to work in this industry was because he was angry with his father, so he took the opportunity to humiliate him.He has always been very clear in his heart that he is a heterosexual, and the current fooling around is only temporary, and it can even be called experiencing life. Sooner or later, he will return to the normal trajectory of life, and return to the upper class that he hates so much now. society, put on a decent three-piece suit, and live a dog-like life like his dad's.

Mike fell in love with Scott, but Scott said to Mike, you are my best friend.

In this way, the story and the reality slowly, at certain angles and certain places, overlapped some strikingly similar points.

Xia Tian remembered a lot of scenes in it. The movie was dubbed, the subtitles were not as professional as the later generations, and the Hong Kong version of the translation was used. The Cantonese slang seemed a bit uncomfortable, and too many traditional characters would make the eyes tired, but he cared What matters is not these, but all the nuanced reactions of people around you.

He tried his best to perceive the other party's every move, every breath and every breath carefully. Through this story, he tried to tell Gao Jianfeng some feelings that he could not express for the time being in a cryptic way.

Will he understand or be disgusted?Xia Tian was both excited and uneasy thinking that he did not hesitate to choose this movie because he wanted to test his reaction. Now that the arrow is on the line, no matter what Gao Jianfeng says later, he has to be able to catch it.

The person he was watching attentively was idly turning the beer cans, taking a sip from time to time, touching a peanut and throwing it into his mouth from time to time, staring at the screen with his eyes, which seemed to be a very normal movie-watching state.

However, that is just the appearance. At this moment, the heart of the person being observed is sinking into waves of subtle and unspeakable embarrassment.

Gao Jianfeng is considered a half movie buff, thanks to Liu Jing, he has seen a lot of modern miscellaneous movies, and this small pavilion itself is the stronghold for him and his brothers to watch movies.

Liu Jing claims to be able to get any movie, but many times even he himself can't figure out the content of the movie, causing them to watch too many unknown and not very serious movies, including the ones that can stimulate the infinite imagination and desire of teenagers. One category, anyway, there is a toilet next to it, so I can't help but solve it on the spot.

But this is the first time to dabble in gay themes.

Gao Jianfeng is sometimes rough and sometimes delicate, but never loses his sharpness. He understood within 10 minutes of the movie that this is a story about two men trying to "beyond friendship"...

If it was a person, he might have to bite the bullet and watch it. After all, the two leading actors are quite pleasing to the eye, but the current situation is that he is watching it with another man. Two men... looking at the other two men Hesitant to speak, entangled feelings...

This is quite unclear.

Gao Jianfeng bit the peanut, and for a while secretly scolded Liu Jing for being a fool, all he got was such a mess, and for a while, he remembered that Xia Tian was the sensible and serious type, sober and self-disciplined that he was too shy to even take pornographic films I came out to share with them, but I accidentally chose such a movie. Will Xia Tian feel uncomfortable because of it?

So are you holding back now?Gao Jianfeng was pondering, glanced at Xia Tian from the corner of his eye, but he couldn't perceive Xia Tian's peripheral vision was also staring at him, the two of them had their own concerns, they were secretly thinking about it, but no one spoke.

Looking at it, I also saw the scene of confession.

Under the bonfire at night, Mike and Scott sat together, and it was a shy and one-sided confession.

Mike said intermittently, "What am I to you? I know... I'm your friend, it's nice to be a friend..."

Scott said: "Two men cannot love each other."

Mike didn't dare to look at him, just whispered to himself: "I don't know, for me, I can be with others because of money, but if it's you, I don't need money, I love you...I really love you I want to kiss you, so, good night..."

After speaking, like an ostrich, he buried his face first, and didn't ask questions, as if he was afraid of being rejected, his bewildered and green expression made people tremble.

Xia Tian is not Mike, he takes every step of the way and has a lonesome courage. At this time, he turned his head and asked the person beside him: "Do you think he can succeed?"

Gao Jianfeng understood that he was asking whether this jerky confession could impress his lover. From the perspective of watching the joys and sorrows of other people's life and death, he somewhat sympathized with Mike, but the story is the story, not enough to make people addicted.

He said: "No, Scott obviously only takes his friends. Even if he has ideas, he will not cross that line easily. He knows that he cannot leave the mainstream society. He came out just to vent his resistance. One day he will return. normal."

Xia Tian looked at him deeply: "Back to normal, what is normal, are these two words so important?"

Isn't this nonsense?Humans are social animals, being accepted by the mainstream group and leading a normal and stable life are universal norms in any country.Gao Jianfeng put down the beer can in his hand, thinking in his heart, doesn't Xia Tian need this "normal" more than him?

With no one to rely on, I came to the big city alone, the only aunt I could rely on, my life was in a state of desperation, and I still needed his help, Xia Tian did a good enough job, taking care of Chen Fan within the scope of my ability At the same time, many of his peers are still under the wing of their parents, enjoying the care with peace of mind.

Xia Tian is also rational and clear-headed, except for the occasional surge of qi and blood and a bit of ferocity regardless of the severity, the rest of the time he can be called calm and cautious, always looking gentle and harmless, although he doesn't talk to people very much.

How much such a person needs to be "normal", isn't he also working hard towards the normal and dignified road? If you ask such a question seriously, is it because the rebellious period has come too late?

Seeing that Gao Jianfeng did not answer for a long time, Xia Tian continued to ask unhurriedly: "Men and men, men and women, women and women can be defined as normal patterns at any time, maybe society will progress, at least it is a manifestation of tolerance , Variety and polymorphism are the source of happiness, not unity and solidification, do you think so?"

Gao Jianfeng frowned slightly, feeling that he was wrong to say "yes" and "no", and the truth was not bad, but it always sounded like he wanted to go against the current and challenge the public's psychology just around the corner. The signs are not right!

He rubbed his nose and said: "In theory, yes, but the actual situation is very difficult. In fact, there is no need to complain that the society is not progressing. Although it is slow, it is still developing. Maybe one day the differences you mentioned will be realized and it will be recognized by the majority of the public. Accepted, but now..."

"But can you accept it now?" Xia Tian interrupted him and asked.

Gao Jianfeng turned his head subconsciously, the eyes he met were a little burning, his eyebrows twitched, and he still replied in a calm manner: "You asked me before, and I don't reject it."

After finishing this sentence, Gao Jianfeng suddenly came to his senses - Xia Tian was testing him, because of Wang An's matter, he was always worried that there would be a hurdle in his heart, so out of concern for his friends, he repeatedly hoped that he could Face up to this problem.

Thinking of it this way, he couldn't help being touched in his heart.

Xia Tian is a friend, a brother, and he relies on and trusts him, which in turn gives rise to caring, like someone who climbs a wall in the middle of the night to see himself, Wang Yang and Liu Jing may not be able to do it.

Gao Jianfeng thought he realized Xia Tian's intentions, and then said sincerely: "I have never experienced it before, Wang An is different, he regards himself as a girl, and such a small child, just has a little vague liking for her." , I can’t take it seriously. Later I read some similar books. This kind of thing is not a disease. To put it bluntly, what kind of life a person chooses is beyond the control of others, so why do they make irresponsible remarks and think it is right or wrong? .”

The words are good, but they are not on point, Xia Tian continued to ask calmly: "Then what if some of the friends around you choose to live such an abnormal life?"

"..." Gao Jianfeng was astonished when he heard that, thinking how could this be possible, who is it?This group of peers in the courtyard have been galloping together since the time when the table was not high enough. No one knows what kind of urine each person has. Everyone is very normal. They usually read pornographic books and pornographic films together. All of them are rich in theory and experience, and I have never heard of anyone interested in the same sex.

Xia Tian stared at Gao Jianfeng with a blank face, and decided to give another big gift package. He smiled and asked: "Then why don't you just assume that that person is me, can you accept it?"

Gao Jianfeng gave a "thud" in his heart for no reason, he looked at Xia Tian, ​​and found that the smile on his face was brilliant, not the kind that was happy, and he didn't even show his teeth, but his eyes were shining brightly, and his pupils were like two bright stars , half expecting and half smiling, as if waiting for an answer from myself, and then decide whether to fully bloom or just go out...

Gao Jianfeng suddenly became a little scared. He didn't want to see the brilliance like fireworks dimmed by his own words.

No matter how big his heart is, some emotions can still be sensed. The moment his heartstrings tensed, Gao Jianfeng couldn't help but make a hypothesis in horror—could it be that Xia Tian was serious?He doesn't really want to take such a difficult and rough road, does he?

So I wanted to make a joke and say "Haha, how is that possible?", or pretend to be serious and say "Then I have to have a good talk with you, and try to save you." Such nonsense and inappropriate words suddenly I can't say it.

Gao Jianfeng probably experienced for the first time what it means to be on pins and needles. The sweat on his forehead began to come out. But Xia Tian had sharp eyes, saw it, and asked in a tone that was close to caring: "Aren't you hot? You are still wearing long sleeves. The clothes are all sweaty. You didn't wear them when I came in, they were all men, do you still mind this?"

my God!He didn't mind at first, but Gao Jianfeng shuddered, and he was at a loss when he heard each word in a soft voice. Looking at Xia Tian's smile, there was clearly a deceptive taste, he couldn't stay any longer, he bounced As if jumping up, at this moment, Xia Tian, ​​who was staring at him, also stood up from the chair reflexively.

Probably because he had been sitting for a long time, and got up violently, Xia Tian's right leg went numb, and he staggered and couldn't stand still. Then he leaned forward and bumped directly into Gao Jianfeng's body. near Gao Jianfeng's shoulder blade.

The feeling of touch is not quite right, Chu Xia's clothes are very thin, and Xia Tian can feel a protruding edge on the skin...

This hit happened to press on Gao Jianfeng's injured place, which happened to be the point where his father's attack was focused. He instinctively took a breath, but before he could get it in place, he stopped quickly when he reacted. In the middle of the sky, there is no beginning, no end, and an abrupt end.

"What's wrong with you?" Xia Tian asked suspiciously and nervously.

"It's okay." Gao Jianfeng took a deep breath, held him steady, and then smiled, "You touched the itchy flesh, so what, it's a little hot, I'll take a shower first, and I'll be right back."

Tickle meat?That thing has a long back?Although the liar's eyes pretended to be like that, Xia Tian couldn't be more clear about the scars on the body.

"The story is not over yet." Xia Tian sat down and said.

Gao Jianfeng hugged his pajamas and turned his back to Xia Tian, ​​with a somewhat complicated expression: "Look first, tell me later."

He stepped into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, and adjusted it to a cooler temperature. It wasn't until the cold water rushed down his head that he realized that after the shock, the rest of his emotions were half-believing uncertainty and heart-wrenching pain and regret.

Is it because no one has ever cared about Xia Tian?So he has no one to confide in, and he can only tell himself some secret feelings in his heart?His adult elders are really unreliable, they are either too busy to take care of themselves or they are shameless, and his father has never been mentioned by Xia Tian at all.

He regards himself as a friend, so it is normal to be dependent. Gao Jianfeng has long been used to accepting others' dependence, and never considers it a burden. On the contrary, a sense of responsibility immediately came to his mind - he should care more about Xia Tian, ​​whether it is academics or life , it was all made by Xia Tian with his own hands and feet, and I am afraid it will be the same in the future. He has no relatives, and if he doesn't rely on friends, who else can he rely on?

Fool, how could I despise you because of this kind of thing, there is no need to test like this?Gao Jianfeng faced the mirror, shook his head helplessly and smiled, then give Xia Tian an affirmative answer, he cares so much about himself, God knows how much courage it took to reveal his secret by insinuation.

It doesn't matter, you are my brother, if someone dares to attack you with this kind of thing in the future, I will definitely protect you.

After he figured it out, Gao Jianfeng walked out with a relaxed expression on his face. The movie had come to an end, and he only had to drink his saliva before the subtitles appeared.

"Go to sleep, it's already three o'clock." Xia Tian said, there was no anxiety on his face, and he was calm, as if the previous sharpness was just Gao Jianfeng's illusion.

"I was just joking, you don't have to take it too seriously." Xia Tian said again, lowering his head and smiling, "Actually, if I really have any secrets, I will choose to be the first to tell you. Congratulations, you will be my target to kill and silence from now on. gone."

Gao Jianfeng licked his lips. He didn't know if he was a poor boy. He said the four words "Killing and Silencing" with a heartfelt feeling, as if he was talking about eternity...

That's right, friendship, of course, lasts forever...

"Yes, if you have a secret, don't hold it back. In order not to let you silence it, I promise to keep it secret." Gao Jianfeng replied, thought for a while, and added, "I promise to understand, and I promise to help my relatives."

This is the rise from friends to "pro", when Xia Tian caught this word, his heart burst into ecstasy in an instant.Gao Jianfeng stands by his side with a clear banner, and is ready to never leave him. He seems to be able to accept any kind of self. How tolerant, in this era, at this age, it is enough. Xia Tian thought happily, he should You have to be patient, at least take the first step, he has received unexpected support, and today's trip has been worthwhile.

Turn off the light and lie down together, neither of the two people in the dark closed their eyes, Xia Tian smiled, Gao Jianfeng was a little frowning, no matter how he stood in line, he was still puzzled by Xia Tian's shocking world, and refused to leave the road It's really nerve-wracking for guys who have to go wandering on muddy and rough trails.

"Are you asleep?" Xia Tian suddenly asked in the dark.

Gao Jianfeng was shocked: "Well, come on, you go to bed early, you have to go to school tomorrow."

Xia Tian smiled: "Go when you get up, ask for leave if you can't get up, how about spending another day with you?"

"..." Gao Jianfeng said in his heart that it's not good, this shocking is not enough, what's wrong with studying during the review period, and absenteeism, really think that the college entrance examination is a sure thing?Do you know that one point difference can make a world of difference!

"Let's go, take a message to Zhou's mother for me tomorrow, and ask her to call our family, and say that she is concerned about the illness, and that it is better to come to visit," Gao Jianfeng said, "Old Gao has a good face. Can you let me out, see you back at school."

This idea sounds more reliable, [-]% can be useful, although it is good to visit the prison, but of course it is better to meet at school, Xia Tian nodded in agreement.

After a while, Gao Jianfeng asked again: "What did you do in that movie?"

In the dark, Xia Tian slowly opened his eyes, thought for a while, and completely tampered with the ending: "They are together, Scott inherited the inheritance, and chose to be with Mike."

"That...not bad." Gao Jianfeng said, but it was a pity that he saw Mike alone in the picture, and the direction of the story should not be like that.

It's a beautiful vision, but if it's Xia Tian's longing, he can choose not to tell the truth, nor to explore the so-called truth.

He is willing to accept this imaginary happy result.