Back to 1993 through time travel

The story is not long, nor can it be said to be complicated, but it is mixed with several turbulent waves. While hearing Xia Tian's "empathy", goose bumps all over his body.

"Wang An is a very refined and handsome boy. He looks different from Wang Ning," Gao Jianfeng spoke slowly, recalling, "There were already clear boundaries between men and women in primary school students. I don’t play with girls. Wang An also hang out with boys at first, but his behavior is more feminine, then I don’t know when, he began to be collectively rejected by boys.”

As he said, he took out a cigarette, didn't light it, and just twirled it between his fingers, "At that time, it was a bit similar to now, and it was also the kind that was easy to deal with. To be honest, it was a boy. I don’t have any dislike for Wang An, I don’t hate it, and I wouldn’t call him a sissy like others, although I did think so.”

"Because no one played with him, he got closer to a boy after that. secret."

Gao Jianfeng stopped talking, looked at Xia Tian, ​​and finally lit the cigarette, "He said that Wang An is a two-tailed person, that is, a person who is neither male nor female. He also said that Wang An said it himself, saying that he had I don’t want to be a man anymore, I will definitely become a girl when I have a chance in the future.”

He spoke quite calmly, but Xia Tian hadn't guessed that there would be such an event before, and for a while, he still felt a little surprised.

Not to mention that intersex people will be regarded as heterogeneous after 20 years, and ordinary people need good education and conscious restraint in order not to show rejection and contempt for heterogeneity. For a group of seven or eight-year-old children, it may be difficult to do arrived.

Gao Jianfeng raised his eyebrows, and continued: "The news made the boys in the class go crazy. Some people thought he was disgusting, some people thought he was a freak, and there were rumors of everything. A group of people even went to find his seat and schoolbag. , and finally found a diary with the names of several boys listed by Wang An on it, and the point is that there are peach hearts drawn behind those names."

Xia Tian took a deep breath, his scalp felt a little numb for a moment, he could imagine the kind of malice that those half-knowledgeable kids would feel when they saw this picture, he slowed down, and asked: "Are you among those names? "

Gao Jianfeng glanced at him quickly, and sighed with a chuckle: "With your logical reasoning ability, it's not appropriate not to win the first prize in a math competition, right?"

Speaking of the math competition, Xia Tian remembered that he had forgotten to report the results to Gao Jianfeng. Unfortunately, the timing was not right and it was not suitable for joy.

Gao Jianfeng didn't want to talk about anything else, so he took a puff of smoke and said: "It was because I wrote my name that those people showed it to me. I was also surprised at the time. Although Wang An's girls are effeminate, I have never They all looked at him as a girl, and were ... yearned for by a man, anyway, I felt an indescribable shock at the time."

Xia Tian's heart moved when he heard it, and he looked at him deeply, without showing any emotion on his face.

Gao Jianfeng: "I was a little angry at first, and then I was told to clean up Erwei, I really felt that I was the leader, and a group of brothers were waiting for me to eliminate the "four evils". Since then, everyone has started Isolate Wang An, to what extent, as long as he speaks in class, the whole class will boo him together, and the person by the window will open the window all the way, saying it is to get rid of anger, even the teacher can't stop it, can you imagine that? scene?"

Xia Xia nodded understandingly: "Yes, the law does not punish the masses, and collective evil is indeed difficult to control."

"That's not all," Gao Jianfeng sighed, "Wang An was stuck in the toilet several times. I went there one time, and a group of people cornered him. Someone said they wanted to see if he had a chest. The "well-informed" man said that the lower head of a woman is different from that of a man, and he wanted to take off his pants on the spot. I didn't know what to think at the time, and I felt that I shouldn't do this, but I didn't make a sound, just looked at it like that , until Wang An was forced to jump out of the window, and someone shouted that the teacher is coming, and everyone dispersed."

Xia Tian didn't know what to say, and the expression on Gao Jianfeng's face was difficult to describe. Although he was quite peaceful, his eyes were complicated. There were struggles with memories, guilt, and a trace of clearly visible pain. They were entangled together and finally forced Withdrew from the nonchalant tone that often haunted him.

Gao Jianfeng was also silent, lowered his head, and probably wanted to get a cigarette again, but he took it out and put it back again. After a long time, he sighed very softly and did not speak again.

"What happened later?" After a while, Xia Tian asked.

Gao Jianfeng licked his lips: "Then he stopped talking, and he didn't talk to anyone. When the teacher asked him to talk to him, he was like a dumb man. His homework plummeted, and he obviously couldn't keep up when he was only in the second grade. Later, He didn't show up for a while before we found out he had dropped out."

What happened in the future, Gao Jianfeng didn't say anything, Xia Tian could also guess, after being tossed like this, it's really strong to not be depressed.If timely counseling, more care from the family may be able to save it, but Wang An's family... He remembered that Du Jie might not even be able to take care of the child, let alone understand the child's inner world.

This story, no, it should be said that it is a real life, which made people feel depressed. Xia Tian took out a cigarette and lit it for himself. After halfway through the smoke, he asked: "Wang An committed suicide because of this incident, or because he finally died?" Can't turn into a girl as I wish?"

Gao Jianfeng secretly raised his eyebrows, thinking that if the atmosphere of the occasion was not suitable, he really wanted to give Xia Tian a thumbs up, how could the questions always fit the point.

"It's all there. Wang Ning told me later that Wang An had some hope and wanted to start over, but the operation fee was not cheap, and Aunt Du always felt that the boy turned into a girl. She couldn't get along with her family when she returned to her hometown. People explain."

Smelling the second-hand smoke in summer, Gao Jianfeng seemed to have forgotten what he said, and instead of smoking, he took a sip from the bottle, "He committed suicide by turning on the gas while he was taking a shower, and I don't know where he heard it from." Said that carbon monoxide poisoning would make people's skin pink, maybe he felt that at that time he was infinitely close to a girl."

Hearing this, Xia Tian was stunned. He was so shocked by the ending that he didn't speak for a long time.

After a long while, he asked nonchalantly: "After you found out, you went to Aunt Du and the others, and began...to make the compensation you thought should be done. After so many years, Aunt Du and Wang Ning knew what happened in school at that time. Is it?"

Gao Jianfeng shook his head: "Wang An didn't mention it. Most of the things he said later were fantasizing about becoming a girl. The doctor diagnosed him as mentally ill. No one would believe anything he said."

Xia Tian breathed a sigh of relief, how should I put it, little brother Wang An is quite righteous, otherwise how could Du Jie and his son accept Gao Jianfeng?A confused mother might be able to do it, but Wang Ning is a hot-blooded kid after all, so it's not bad if he doesn't regard Gao Jianfeng as an enemy who kills his brother.

After sighing with emotion, Xia Tian brewed for a moment: "Then let me talk about my feelings. It sounds like you were quite... a bastard back then. Don't say that you are young and ignorant. You came here at that time. What is the child really like?" I know. However, I think you are very brave. Not everyone has the courage to face up to mistakes, such as those classmates you used to avoid, or be insensitive. Only you have self-awareness. If you don’t feel guilty, you won’t I have been paying attention to Wang An, and after learning about the situation, I have taken care of Aunt Du and the others for so long. Am I right?"

Gao Jianfeng seemed to be in a trance, his eyes were squinted, and the corners of his eyes were slightly bent. Xia Tian suddenly realized at this time that Gao Jianfeng really had peach blossom eyes.

"Brave..." The boy with peach blossom eyes laughed at himself, "Actually, I didn't tell the truth just now. That time I saw them bullying Wang An with my own eyes but I didn't say anything. It's not that I don't know the reason. I know the reason very well. .”

He frowned briefly, and then his eyes fell on an unknown place, with a somewhat difficult expression on his face.

"I'm afraid," Gao Jianfeng said again, his voice trembling unsteadily, "I'm afraid that if I stop my voice, they will take it as sympathy for Wang An, afraid of being isolated, afraid that the feeling of being supported by others will no longer exist, Really, those thoughts did cross my mind at the time."

After a pause, his jaw trembled slightly: "It's quite a fucking bastard."

Xia Tian stared at him, and suddenly felt that the softest part of his heart had collapsed, and a steel needle was stuck on it, which made his heart ache. He suddenly grabbed Gao Jianfeng's hand and squeezed it tightly. in the palm of your hand.

"I know, I can imagine." Xia Tian said quickly, "But like I said, you are still brave, dare to admit, dare to say these words, if it were me... I don't think it may be possible, really , I am not comforting you."

Gao Jianfeng was holding his right hand by him, and he felt that the strength was strong, but also gentle. Xia Tian's palm was very warm, and the nerves on the fingertips were twitching, as if there was an uneasy heart hidden there. like a heart.

Although it was definitely comforting, but the words were still to the point, at least he didn't justify himself, Gao Jianfeng thought, he held back all kinds of self-denials due to cowardice for a day, but he didn't expect that Xia Tian would inadvertently deny them again.

Gao Jianfeng then shook it back, then withdrew his hand, and lit a cigarette naturally. His expression has become calm, at least it seems that he has returned to the previous calm and unruffled.

"Thank you." He took a deep breath and said concisely.

Xia Tian: "You're welcome."

The temperature and strength of Gao Jianfeng's backhand grip have not yet passed, Xia Tian tried his best to press down the messy thoughts, filled a glass of wine, and said, "Come on, let's do one."

"Why?" Gao Jianfeng looked at him and asked.

Xia Tian smiled slightly: "For being brave, for knowing shame and then being brave, for daring to face the unknown cowardice deep in my heart."

After thinking for a while, he added: "I support you in taking care of Aunt Du's mother and son. Go ahead, within your ability."

Of course Gao Jianfeng didn't need others to approve of his behavior, but at this moment, for some unknown reason, he felt a little touched in his heart. Even Gao Zhiyuan felt that he had done something wrong, and there was no need to put such a big burden on himself, but he had never experienced it before. A person who is not a good person can't understand how deep-rooted his guilt is, even if he takes care of him for a lifetime, he feels that he should.

He picked up the wine bottle and touched the cup in Xia Tian's hand.

Xia Tian drank it heroically, then stared at him and asked, "Do you need me...to hug you?"

Gao Jianfeng was taken aback for a moment, and then his eyes were filled with a clear expression of "what's that?" Xia Tian frowned at the sight, and quickly adjusted to a relaxed and serious expression to change the subject: "Can I ask you two questions?" question?"

Gao Jianfeng raised his eyebrows slightly and nodded.

Xia Tian: "Do you still feel disgusted or unacceptable to intersex people and many special groups that are different from normal people?"

Gao Jianfeng replied sincerely: "No, in fact, I didn't feel anything special before, I was just a little curious."

Xia Tian nodded, trying to keep his voice calm and gentle, so that it sounded like he was just connecting to a question logically: "Then what do you think about boys liking boys?"

This time, Gao Jianfeng hesitated for a while.

The waiting process was not long, but Xia Tian's heart was raised in his throat, and he refused to let it go.He felt like a desperate person standing on the edge of a cliff, one step further into the abyss, and one step back, there were still precipices and dangerous peaks behind.

Fortunately, Gao Jianfeng finally spoke, and said softly: "I don't know, I can't talk about nausea or anything, I just feel a little weird."

After finishing speaking, he smiled: "My junior high school head teacher is a Chinese teacher, and the extra-curricular reading is arranged for us to read "Dream of the Red Chamber". Legs, I still remember that Jia Lian went back to find a few young men to vent their anger, and I still thought at that time, so this kind of thing has always existed."

summer:"……"

This answer was completely beyond Xia Tian's expectations. It turned out that Gao Jianfeng's understanding of homosexuality was only limited to this level - as a distraction and selfish desire, he sighed helplessly. It seems that the infinite danger is still long It's a long road, and I don't know when I can climb to the destination.

But Gao Jianfeng said that he does not reject it, so maybe this can be regarded as a good start?

Xia Tian put away his melancholy, poured himself half a glass of wine, held up the glass, smiled and invited again.

Why is it not over yet, Gao Jianfeng thought to himself, glanced at him and asked, "Why this time?"

Xia Tian thought for a second: "Let's spend the night for...."

Gao Jianfeng frowned: "...um, what?"

"It's already eleven o'clock." Xia Tian motioned him to look at the watch on the wall, "If you don't go home, you should be fine? Go to the dormitory with me, anyway, there are plenty of empty beds."

It's already so late to chat and talk, Gao Jianfeng Jufan returned late, Gao Kejian didn't care, but he had to report to Li Yanan anyway, after making a quick decision, Gao Jianfeng got up and made a brief phone call, and settled the bill by the way When he came back, he had completely returned to his normal state: "Let's go, go over the wall."

The two of them went out of the store, crossed the water-logged small road in front of the door, and walked towards the secluded back wall. Gao Jianfeng climbed over the wall and saw that he was a veteran. quite beautiful.

When Xia Tian jumped down, Gao Jianfeng stretched out his arm to catch it in a leisurely and feigned manner.

"Tsk, your skills are good." Gao Jianfeng smiled and praised.

Xia Tian didn't expect him to make such a move. If he had known earlier, he would have to pretend to be sprained to be considered suitable for the occasion, but he still touched Gao Jianfeng's sleeve, dipped in the water, and kept a little moisture on his fingertips, so he Said: "The clothes are all wet, I guess I won't be able to dry them tomorrow, you can wear mine later."

Gao Jianfeng didn't feel any difference to this proposal, he hummed, turned his head, and smiled at Xia Tian.