[HP] Read "Principal's Diary"

"Reading?" Harry caught a word sharply.

"Of course it is reading, dear Harry, since there are no new games for us to entertain." The ball of light said in a lazy tone, "Maybe Mr. Potter, who is ridiculed every time, can't help protesting, But please believe my sincere gaze—no, my sincere voice—in any case, Mr. Snape is always the one at the bottom."

"I, Severus Snape, solemnly apply to the ball of light for the nth time: to leave the hall." The wizard with greasy shoulder-length black hair looked directly at the ball of light, with dark eyes and a deep voice.

"The application was rejected." The light ball continued lazily, "First, I am not just an unbreakable light ball, at least my current name corresponds to the color of the vest. Second, the twelve angry men are divided Separation and reunion, dismantling and repairing, but there will always be people who stick to their positions, such as the strangely popular Mr. Snape, you have never been replaced. Third, everyone here also knows, 'There are two people facing each other Quite a close relationship' is an important basis for constructing the seating chart. Fourth, Mr. Snape has a connection and cooperation with any You-know-who, and they are the bridge that keeps everyone together, aren't they?"

"Maybe, I should start thinking about a girl?" Sirius said casually, blinking his eyes pretending to be confused.

The emerald light ball laughed loudly and said, "I recommend the purple light ball to be the host next time! The author of "The Order of the Phoenix Money Circle Fan Project" and the football light ball are also excellent candidates!"

Lily waved her hand and said with a smile: "Xiao Cui, it's time to get down to business, or I'll be the host."

"Does Little Green sound better?"

A book with a blue cover appeared above the head of the emerald ball of light, and it flew straight to the white wizard on Lily's right, "Mr. Dumbledore please review it. I guarantee that everyone here has never seen it. "

Dumbledore looked at the "Principal's Diary" in gold-plated characters with great interest, and his beard twitched happily: "It was indeed impossible for them to witness it with their own eyes before."

"Your diary?" Grindelwald punctured everyone's (pink bubble, crossed out) fantasy for the nth time, "It's just, I thought it was reddish brown?"

"I hope it's made of black leather." Dumbledore opened the book under the gaze of 22 pairs of eyes. After staring at the "diary" for a full minute, he burst into a burst of joyful laughter.

"Professor?" The savior sitting in the distance tried to perform the task of "evaporating other people's confusion" for the nth time.

"Ah, I'm just very happy, after all, someone really completed my biography in this form." Dumbledore served as the NPC of "answering other people's doubts" for the Nth time, "Oh, the life of Albus Dumbledore It's a shame Rita Skeeter spoiled 'With Lies'."

The hall reverberates with a steady yet cadenced bass:

[On X, X, 56, the tragedy of life

I have been working in the ordinary and boring position of headmaster of Hogwarts for N years.Let me tell you, you are all intimidated by the title of principal, but in fact, this is a drudgery to do seven jobs for a salary.

Hogwarts Principal = Financial Accountant + Director of Academic Affairs Office + Class Counselor + Child Psychology Expert + Teaching Secretary + Director of Admissions and Employment Office + Security (Responsible for calling 110 on campus)]

"Despite being so wonderful, I still feel unsatisfied." Dumbledore raised his head and said, "I thought it was the Director of Academic Affairs Office + Director of Student Affairs Office + Financial Accountant + School Psychologist + Free Tuition Teacher (1) + Honorary Advisor of the Ministry of Magic + Stay single leader of the alliance."

The two series of nouns that followed were like machine guns fired wildly, blasting into people's brains.Fortunately, the Twelve Angry Men present here all have rich combat experience, not only their faces are unsurprised, but the corners of their mouths are raised. "Your explanation is more concise and clear than the original text." Grindelwald raised his eyebrows, "It's just..."

Dumbledore's voice then sounded, and the connection with the dark wizard was perfect: [Didn't you find out that Hogwarts, from the headmaster to the staff, has no one who is single.Not to mention the professor of the history of magic who has been turned into a soul, he never took time to fall in love until his death...] "These romances are far more funny than Skeeter's." The nominal owner of the diary commented.

"I've always regarded Skeeter's stuff as a collection of jokes." The emerald light ball spoke, "However, Skeeter is a model of 'serious nonsense'..."

"What's wrong with Skeeter? As a godfather, I have an obligation to protect the reputation of my godson." Sirius frowned, with the classic expression of "stay vigilant at all times".

The voice of the emerald ball of light trembled with her trembling body: "In recent years, her new books are "Dumbledore's Army: The Dark Side of Veterans", "Severus Snape: Villain or Saint?" "Armando Dippet: Master or Idiot?" "The Secret History of Albus Dumbledore's Merry Story" "Severus Snape's Sexy Scandal" "Harry Potter's Sexy Affair" ( 2)……"

When the other ten people were about to jump up to the round table, Grindelwald said, "To be honest, Albus, I suspect that Skeeter is also an example of 'love can't turn fans into black'."

Riddle, who was shot (?), flushed his delicate face, and his excited expression made his face hideous: "Skeeter, compared with the future Voldemort? Does she have that qualification?!"

A white light that could blind a 24K titanium alloy dog's eyes suddenly struck at the handsome young Dark Lord who had already ranked among the top three in the HP (original book) world.The flat aria of the emerald green light sphere sounded: "Oh, Mr. Grindelwald has to be careful—your official position is in jeopardy."

Grindelwald said disdainfully: "Riddle? Are you sure Albus will hold him in his hand?"

"Sorry, Mr. Grindelwald, although my second son's middle name comes from Snape, and his first name is Albus, his mother is Ginnevra Weasley Potter." Harry kicked Grindelwald violently under the round table (after all, he was finally able to beat people), imitating the tone of the light ball before, and shrugged helplessly, "Even 'I'm a straight man' needs a special statement these days .” (3)

"As Ginny's older brother, I am very pleased." Ron expressed his solidarity, "At the same time, I would like to express my gratitude to the author of Dafa who is a practitioner."

"Additional—recommendation—" This is definitely the voice of twins.

"Don't they really think that anti-social personality with high IQ is scary?" Riddle angrily brushed his presence, "Maybe my only contribution to the wizarding world is not to harm women."

"It's a good rhythm without 3P." James adjusted his glasses. "If this continues, everyone will think 'parental generation = NP'."

"I'm not a blue-eyed kitten, Ron is not an idiot, Hermione is not a nympho, and Malfoy is not a platinum nobleman!" Harry followed his father's footsteps, "Although I think using this word to disgust Malfoy can get ' E'(4) effect."

"'Imprisoned for love' is an insult to me and Albus." Grindelwald's rare support for Harry, "Love is indeed a great power. But if both sides of the confrontation are full of affection/ Love love, there is really no hope in the wizarding world."

"Do those bastards know that Veritaserum is tasteless! Do they know that Resurrection Potion is precious! Do they know that Felix Elixirs are rare!" Snape erupted in a rare way, "To waste a potion is an unforgivable sin Exploding the crucible is even more so! Forcing others to start a family and start a business should be stared to death by the basilisk!"

"Although I think you are responsible for Mr. Longbottom's Boggart." Dumbledore said, "However, being single is a kind of freedom."

Principal, if you are single, do you know how much malice I have blocked for you from the dark wizard on the opposite side?The emerald ball of light coughed: "Dear Mr. Dumbledore, maybe we should continue reading?"

[On X, X, 56, a young man came to apply for the job today

Today a young man applied for a teacher position.To be honest, I hate interviewing people, and I hate doing this kind of grassroots work as a small leader.

Muggle companies have a special department in charge of this area, the initial test, written test, interview, and finally the interview with the leader, and the leader only needs to make a final decision... However, as the headmaster of the only magic academy in the UK, although There is no need to worry about the lack of students (this is very good), but there is also a problem. Anyone in the wizarding world who has the idea of ​​"becoming a teacher in England" is desperately trying to squeeze into Hogwarts.As for the person who can interview them, only me is arranged at this stage.

What a tragedy...]

"It's not bad, actually," Dumbledore shrugged, "at least when I want to go out and buy sweets, I have a ready-made excuse."

【Perhaps it was because I had too many thoughts in the morning and I was in a bad mood. I rejected that black-haired young man during the interview in the afternoon.Although I feel a little sorry now, and the young man looked a little frustrated because of my rejection, but since you are so handsome,]

"Thank you." Riddle smirked, in exchange for the vomiting expressions of all prank lovers.

[Stop trying to be a lifelong bachelor. 】

"I think my dear cousin must have the same feeling as the professor." Sirius added.

"Hey, there is also a handsome stupid dog on the road of lifelong bachelor, I really feel sorry for those girls." Snape said lightly.

"Those girls wouldn't like a snake anyway." Sirius shot back, "It's still a snotty snake."

【Didn't you find out that the position at Hogwarts has been cursed by the god of bachelors... Even the four giants are getting married and leaving, and they are getting married... In the end, none of them can escape from loneliness destiny.

Young people, get married early, have a few children, don't think about nothing, that's the right way. 】

"It's a pity that little Voldy didn't listen to the elder's words." Grindelwald said, "If you don't listen to the old man's words, you will suffer in front of you."

"Tsk tsk, talk like you're a success story," Riddle countered.

"British men are not easy to turn around. (6)" Lily and Hermione said in unison, and they smiled at each other.

"How is it possible? Every German middle school boy will destroy the British man's house, and then they will start the process of falling in love (crossing out) and killing each other." The emerald green light ball added, "So, Mr. Grindelwald, even if you My CP is the strongest wizard in this world, and you can't break through the limitations of history~"

"Yeah, only you goldfingers who can travel through time and space can force him." Grindelwald shrugged and his tone was drawn out, "Although I like it very much—being pulled with the White Queen."

"Gellert Grindelwald, can you stop the one-headed show of affection? Do you want to be burned to death by the bachelor god of Hogwarts? I swear not to accompany you." Dumbledore lifted up the buried book "Also, even if King Arthur really has something to do with Merlin, I insist on refusing to wear the laurel crown."

[On X, X, XX, regarding financial issues

There is no such thing as mathematics in the magic world, which is one of the reasons why there are fewer and fewer alchemists today. 】

"This is one of the reasons why there are fewer and fewer arithmetic fortunetellers, and it also causes most people to choose the divination course of the magic stick." Hermione said helplessly.

"Hey, the biggest use of this course is to exercise imagination and the ability to make up random things." Sirius responded, "You can also drink tea for free, right?"

[Most people in the magic world have a mystical tendency towards numbers.One of the Big Four, Mr. Salazar Slytherin, who worked part-time as an accountant at Hogwarts, finally broke up with his husband because he could no longer bear the problem of calculating the conversion between Muggle coins and wizard coins year after year And run away from home (you see, I just said that Hogsworth is cursed by the bachelor god). 】

"Huh," Dumbledore blinked at the person opposite, "It's so dangerous, I almost swore on them."

"It's a pity you didn't run away from home, alas, good student Albus."

Dumbledore smiled slightly: [Very fortunately, I was born in this era, wizards finally realized their own shortcomings, and began to rely on the banks built by goblins. Now Gringotts has developed to the point where I don’t need to do anything, such as tuition fees Collect, issue arrears notices to students, issue scholarships, and issue salaries, research fees, and year-end allowances to teachers. 】

Riddle's back molars were grinding: he really didn't pay off his debts... shit!What a stain on Lord Voldemort's glorious career!

A dignified Dark Lord heavily in debt!I don't even have my own account (safe box)!

【XX, X, X, I Love Muggles

I love Muggles, no, it should be said that I am the only way to Muggles, (Riddle: "Cut!") What I love is the various systems they came up with.For example, Muggle principals are hired rather than life-long, and Muggle university teachers are all hands-off shopkeepers, while teachers in the wizarding world are both fathers and mothers,]

"Isn't this great." Grindelwald continued to dominate the screen, "You don't need to drink fertility potions, and you don't need to have amitosis, you will have thousands of little friends, and the efficiency can be comparable to that of a salmon. Compare."

Dumbledore's beard twitched again: [We still have to care about the private life of the students after graduation, and the mental health of the employees (these words popped out from Snape's thin lips: "Thank you for your concern."), and Concerned about the sanitation, repair and aging of the teaching building, and what is even more deceitful is to care about British peace! 】

"The worst thing about your sister is that you still care about me who lives on the other side of the strait." Grindelwald has been professionally making up for 30 years.

"..." The whole room was silent.

[At this time, I really miss (accent) Mr. Grindelwald who suffers from work-compulsive disorder.The problem of the wizarding world is indeed a system problem, and now I realize that I was wrong, I am so sorry. 】

"So?" The guy who was on the same chocolate frog card as the reader spoke first.

"I will promote the ideological revolution first."

Everyone is in trouble: You are not the same as the one who put forward a certain theory about the bloodbath in Europe!

"Or, take an early retirement? Then change careers and become a candy store owner."

"...Professor, won't you lose money by doing this?"

"Isn't the wizarding world losing more money?" Dumbledore pushed his glasses, "Besides, I'm not a bee who can't live without sugar."

"...Professor, bees don't live on sugar, much less honey."

[On X, X, 7X, students fight with problem students

Don't come to me for problems like students fighting. This is the matter of the department heads. 】

Riddle nodded desperately, didn't he belong to Dumbledore's jurisdiction?

[If the problem is serious, come to me when you need to expel the student.Regarding the werewolf student, don't ask me about this, his name automatically appeared on the freshman list, and the school only followed the rules. 】

Snape's face was contorted into twists, and his hooked nose was a taller version of Dumbledore's nose.However, he obediently did not speak.

[On X, X, 7X, social stability issues

The Minister of Magic came to me today and said that a group of disturbed elements appeared in the society recently, and I needed to come forward to solve them.Because the leader once came to me for an interview, and after being rejected, he couldn't think about creating a triad. 】

"Little Voldy, don't be shy, everyone thinks you are a model of 'I would rather be broken than broken'." The emerald green light ball said, "Although I certainly can't be a TRAD party."

Riddle squinted at the ball of light, and snorted coldly: "Come on, if this is true, Dumbledore can surpass Shui Lan (wow——), and be elected as the world's number one HP (Mary, cross out) Tom Sue."

"...Tom—"

"how?"

"—we all think you're pointing at Professor Dumbledore..."

The Weasley twins, finally, died on the same day.

[Where did the rumors come from? There are at least [-] or [-] young people who I reject and want to join Hogwarts every year. After so many years, there will be [-] if not [-]. How can normal people have such a second grade? idea. 】

The emerald green light ball spoke: "The boys in the second year of middle school either dominate for a while, or save the world...It really is not normal."

[Who, who the hell is that brat committing crimes outside! 】

"Unfortunately," said Riddle dryly, "I happened to be thirty-two that year. (32)"

The author has something to say: (1) Asheadmaster, Dumbledore would help students with their homework in Classroom E-13everyFriday. From HPwikia.

(2) "Dumbledore's Army: The Dark Side of the Veterans" "Severus Snape: Villain or Saint?" "Amando Dippet: Master or Idiot? " are Rita Skeeter's post-war works.

"The Secret History of Albus Dumbledore's Love" was written by a foreign fan, and Yuan Jingguang has not yet translated it.

The author of The Sexy Scandal of Severus Snape is famous.

"Harry Potter's Peachy Affair" is serialized in Tieba.

(3) Even sexual orientation has to be declared these days: the stem comes from the copy of "Numergarde's Messenger"

(4) E: Exceeds Expectations

(5) The historical cycle of love and killing between German men and British men comes from "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" and "X-Men: Days of Future Past"

(I believe everyone has seen Lemon's "All Scumbags Are Like This" and Mr. C's "Scumbags Mutual Aid Club"

(6) Voldemort applied after Dumbledore became headmaster (1956), when he was about 30 years old.

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The original has been modified.

Completed on January 2016.1.23, 2016.2.9, revised on February [-], [-]