appendix

The wedding came as scheduled, and with the identities of the Su and Lin families, the ostentation was a big deal.Wu Xiao has also participated in many weddings, and this is the first time he has participated in such a grand wedding, but this is also the wedding he least wants to attend.

Lin Qing, who was wearing a white wedding dress, was more beautiful than she had ever been before. Her long black hair was coiled up high, making her less charming and more dignified; Su Mingzhe beside him was dressed exactly like her. The contrasting black suit, although his face was cold, could not conceal his handsomeness.Talented and beautiful, they are really an enviable couple on the outside.

After sending the invitation, Wu Xiao saw Lin Qing for the first time. Although it was not long, he could still feel the change in this woman. Wu Xiao thought, maybe this is the change brought about by marriage; The last sentence, that angry curse, I don't know if it was for herself or for Su Mingzhe.

This can also be regarded as the most embarrassing wedding that Wu Xiao has ever participated in. No matter how much Su Mingzhe's mother winked, he just kept his face cold throughout the whole process, not showing any kindness.Seeing his stiff expression, Wu Xiao couldn't help laughing for some reason. He picked up the wine glass and took a sip. When he looked up again, the ceremony was over, and it was time for the bride and groom to toast.

However, just as Lin Qing took the wine glasses and walked to the guests, Su Mingzhe walked towards Wu Xiao. His expression was no longer so cold, but a little unnatural. He walked up to Wu Xiao and said, "You coming."

"Yeah." Wu Xiao responded with a smile and patted him on the shoulder, saying, "Very handsome!"

Su Mingzhe looked at Wu Xiao, and finally there was a smile on his face. He was about to say something, but Wu Xiao pushed him and said, "Come on, Ah Qing is waiting for you."

Lin Qing was standing in front of the dining table in the distance, holding a glass of wine, and looked towards this side with a cold expression; Su Mingzhe glanced back at her, and said to Wu Xiao, "I'll come to you later, wait for me." After finishing speaking He took the wine bottle and went to Lin Qing's side.

The atmosphere at the wedding scene was quite harmonious, even if Su Mingzhe was unwilling, it was impossible for Su Mingzhe to slap his parents in the face in front of so many people, and his expression softened a bit during the toast, at least it would not be obvious to others.

As time went by, Wu Xiao felt more and more restless. Although the atmosphere was good and the food was delicious, he couldn't stay here any longer. He wanted to leave urgently, just like fleeing from an epidemic area.

In the end, Wu Xiao quietly left the scene without waiting for Su Mingzhe to come back to find him; when he got out of the hotel, he took a deep breath of the air outside, and the unhappiness in his heart was still not relieved much, he rubbed his face and went on his way He hailed a taxi.Halfway through the drive, a thought suddenly flashed into Wu Xiao's mind. He immediately blurted out the name of a place and asked the driver to divert there.

Now in front of the familiar door, Wu Xiao couldn't tell what it was like, he took out the key to open the door, the room was pitch black, he turned on the light, opened the shoe cabinet, and found his slippers neatly placed there, I couldn't help but feel a little warm in my heart, but at the same time, there was also a trace of inexplicable sadness; after entering the house, Wu Xiao went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There were a few handfuls of wilted vegetables, two lonely eggs, and a sealed package. The takeaway lunch box seems to have been put away for a long time. Seeing these, Wu Xiao can probably guess what Su Mingzhe's life will be like after he left him.

Sighing, Wu Xiao took out two bottles of red wine from the refrigerator, took two glasses from the cabinet, and went to the balcony of Su Mingzhe's bedroom.The balcony is open-air, and the evening breeze is very comfortable for people. Wu Xiao stretched his muscles and bones facing the night sky, opened the wine bottle, took a sip from the bottle, then filled two glasses, picked up one of them and drank slowly .

Out of the lively atmosphere, with the cold wind blowing, Wu Xiao felt sober and understood that he couldn't stand it because he was jealous, not Su Mingzhe, but Lin Qing, jealous of her walking with Su Mingzhe Together; for the term homosexuality, Wu Xiao rarely came into contact with it, but he never discriminated against this group, but he never felt that he was a member of it, until he met Su Mingzhe... In fact, Wu Xiao felt that he was not a member in the strict sense Gay on the Internet, at least, he is still not interested in other men.he thinks--

Sometimes love is meeting the right person, it has nothing to do with gender.

After finishing a glass of wine, Wu Xiao felt that his body was starting to heat up. He poured another half glass and sat down against the wall.He regretted it, regretted not facing up to this feeling earlier, no matter whether he could get a response or not, it was better to say it than not to say it; if Su Mingzhe appeared in front of him now, he thought, he would definitely...

"Ah Xiao." The familiar voice brought Wu Xiao's thoughts back to reality. He couldn't believe his ears, but soon his eyes helped him confirm that he had heard correctly. Su Mingzhe was standing in front of him, wearing a That black suit.

Seeing this person who was supposed to be at the wedding scene appear in front of him, Wu Xiao was so surprised that he couldn't speak.Is the wedding over so soon?Even if it's over, he shouldn't be here, what about the wedding room?Where is the bride?Wu Xiao was full of doubts, but he was also sincerely happy for Su Mingzhe's appearance.

There was a long silence, only the sound of Su Mingzhe's heavy breathing in the room.Finally Wu Xiao spoke up, and he asked, "Why are you here?"

Su Mingzhe didn't answer him, but said seriously: "You didn't wait for me."

"I..." Wu Xiao was at a loss for words for a moment, he really forgot that Su Mingzhe asked him to wait.

"Is the wedding over?" Wu Xiao changed the subject and asked.

"No." Su Mingzhe shook his head, looked at the wine glass on the ground, Wu Xiao smiled awkwardly, stood up from the ground, and said, "I drink your bottle of wine privately, don't you mind?"

"No." Su Mingzhe replied concisely.

Wu Xiao picked up two wine glasses, handed them to Su Mingzhe and said with a smile, "I haven't had one with you yet, come on."

The two had a symbolic clink of glasses, Su Mingzhe just took a sip, Wu Xiao drank it all in one gulp, and then the two lay on the balcony together to enjoy the wind.

"How do you know I'm here?" Wu Xiao asked suddenly.

"Feeling." Su Mingzhe replied.

Wu Xiao laughed, and joked: "Your feeling is more accurate than women." After speaking, he took out the key and put it in Su Mingzhe's palm, and said, "I've been forgetting to return it to you."

Unexpectedly, Su Mingzhe returned it and said, "You keep it as a souvenir."

With a wry smile, Wu Xiao silently put away the key, if possible, he hoped never to commemorate it.

After being silent for a while, Wu Xiao went to fetch the wine bottle, poured a glass and started drinking again, Su Mingzhe glanced at him, hesitant to speak; Wu Xiao took a sip of the wine, leaned on the railing, and said : "Do you know, you and Ah Qing are a good match." After a pause, he continued: "But you are not suitable, your personalities doom your future life will not be happy."

After hearing this, Su Mingzhe didn't say anything immediately, but seemed to be lost in thought, and Wu Xiao added: "I know it's not appropriate to say this when you get married, but I don't want to see you unhappy in the future. They are all very important people to me." Speaking of this, Wu Xiao felt a little uncomfortable, as he said, they are all very important people to Wu Xiao, and now, these two important people are together, but he doesn't like it at all. Not happy, but resenting their acquaintance.

Su Mingzhe raised his head, stared at him with deep eyes, and said, "There is no love between us, only interests."

Wu Xiao was stunned for a moment, not knowing what to say. Seeing Su Mingzhe's indifferent and affectionate expression, he suddenly felt sympathetic to him—it must be hard for him to be a bargaining chip in his parents' deal, marrying a woman he doesn't love.After thinking about it, Wu Xiao still decided to change the subject, he chuckled lightly and said, "You still come to accompany me when you get married, what a crime I will be."

"Because I have something to tell you." Su Mingzhe replied.

"What?" Wu Xiao smiled brighter, but felt a little inexplicably nervous.

When asked, Su Mingzhe stopped talking instead, he lowered his eyelids, his long eyelashes cast a shadow, quietly like a doll; Wu Xiao looked at his face, and couldn't help saying: "It would be great if you were a woman .”

Su Mingzhe suddenly raised his eyes to look at him, Wu Xiao was startled, and then said as if making up his mind: "It's the same if I'm a man."

An inexplicable atmosphere flowed between the two of them. It was like a little light that ignited the fire in Wu Xiao's heart. He thought, since we've come to this point, let's make it clear. He grabbed the other's hand and said: "Su Mingzhe, I like you! Say it accurately, I love you, and I want to be with you." After saying this, Wu Xiao felt a lot lighter in his heart. Seeing Su Mingzhe's slightly surprised expression, he endured He couldn't help laughing and said, "Is there a feeling of 'I treat you like a brother, but you want to sleep with me', haha." As he spoke, he felt something brush his cheek, and he raised his hand After wiping it, he found it was a drop of water. He froze for a moment before realizing that it was flowing from his eye socket.

"Don't cry." Su Mingzhe raised his hand to wipe away the tears from the corner of his eyes, and said softly.

"I didn't..." Wu Xiao couldn't continue, so he simply closed his mouth and let the other party gently caress his cheek.

The intimate friction between the skins made the temperature between the two gradually rise. Wu Xiao began to feel a little embarrassed, and avoided the other's hand without a trace; Su Mingzhe touched the residual temperature of his fingers and said, "At least, you To have the courage to speak out, and I..."

Wu Xiao was stunned for a moment, and didn't understand the meaning of Su Mingzhe's words for a while. Seeing Su Mingzhe's lonely expression, his heart twitched fiercely, and he couldn't help asking: "Can I give you a hug?"

The other party answered him with practical actions.As soon as Wu Xiao finished speaking, Su Mingzhe stretched out his hand to hug him, rubbing his fingers against the other's back, feeling the bones under the thin cloth; Wu Xiao stopped talking, and put his hands on his waist, feeling quietly. Looking at each other's temperature, he enjoyed this feeling very much, as if the two could really get along like ordinary couples - if Su Mingzhe wanted to.

While Wu Xiao was enjoying all this quietly, Su Mingzhe's hand suddenly loosened. He took a small step back and put his hand on the other's neck. When Wu Xiao looked at him in surprise, Su Mingzhe suddenly I moved over.

The lips of the two touched, and a feeling that they had never felt before lingered in their hearts. This feeling directly broke the last string in Wu Xiao's heart. Su Mingzhe obviously did not expect Wu Xiao to be so enthusiastic, and he subconsciously pushed away the other party who had never experienced all this, and saw Wu Xiao rubbing himself in embarrassment. Lips, I realized that I had overreacted.

"I'm sorry." Su Mingzhe said with a dry cough.

"Haha, it's okay." Wu Xiao scratched his hair and laughed awkwardly.

The originally harmonious atmosphere became a bit weird now, Wu Xiao regretted it so much that his intestines were green—why did he have to be so impulsive!Su Mingzhe finally took the initiative once!Wu Xiao expressed despair and just wanted to smoke a cigarette to calm down. He rummaged through his pockets, found half a pack of cigarettes, and asked Su Mingzhe, "I want to smoke one, is that okay?"

"En." Su Mingzhe responded, and Wu Xiao leaned over the railing and smoked a cigarette facing the sky.

After a while Su Mingzhe came to his side, silently took the unburned cigarette from his mouth, hesitated for a moment, put it to his mouth and took a puff, the strong smell of smoke filled his mouth and nose, Su Mingzhe couldn't help frowning, put the cigarette I returned it.

After a cigarette was burned out, Wu Xiao took a long puff of the smoke ring, pressed his arm on the railing, and said suddenly: "I really don't want to see you get married, especially with Ah Qing."

"In many cases, we don't have the right to speak." Su Mingzhe said looking at the night sky.

Wu Xiao sighed deeply, swayed his body around the railing like a child, and said, "It's not going to work in this life, let's do it in the next life, I must meet you sooner."

"There is no next life. When a person dies, he ceases to exist." Su Mingzhe replied seriously.

Hearing such a serious answer, Wu Xiao twitched his lips and stopped suddenly. He looked at Su Mingzhe and said, "I hate serious people like you, can you give me something to think about?"

Su Mingzhe also turned sideways, stood face to face with him, and said: "So, what you want to do, you have to finish in this life." After saying that, he grabbed the other person's arm and entered the room.

Before he could figure out the situation, Wu Xiao was pushed down on the bed, and then Su Mingzhe pressed him up, his hands went over Wu Xiao's face to support the bed, and his breathing gradually became a little short; obviously, this was the first time Su Mingzhe did it. This kind of thing seemed a bit cramped. He bent down and wanted to kiss Wu Xiao, but he couldn't find a suitable way after changing several positions; The man was pressed under him, he licked his lips, showed a smirk, and said, "How about I come?"

Although it was a question, he leaned over and kissed without waiting for anyone's answer. This time, his tongue directly rushed into the opponent's mouth and entangled with that same soft part. Although Su Mingzhe was a little uncomfortable , but very cooperative with his behavior, and gradually became familiar with him.The atmosphere in the room gradually heated up, and Wu Xiao's hands began to move agitatedly. He first tore off Su Mingzhe's tie, and then the formal suit. Due to too much force, he even tore off a few buttons of the shirt.After taking off the other party's clothes, Wu Xiao stepped back temporarily, licked the silver liquid from the corner of his mouth, and took off his shirt. He saw that the person under him was showing a side he had never seen before—the cheek Scarlet, those dark eyes were filled with mist, he tilted his head, panting heavily.

This is simply too foul!Wu Xiao couldn't help but raised the corners of his lips, and leaned down to kiss the red cherry on his chest. The moment Su Mingzhe was touched, Su Mingzhe's body shook violently, a tingling sensation crawled all over his body, and his hands couldn't help it. Grabbing the bed sheet tightly, he resisted the urge to dodge, allowing Wu Xiao to suck out red marks that were not deep and not shallow on his chest.

I thought it would continue, but Wu Xiao suddenly stopped. He sat up, smiled wryly, and said, "Forget it, I'm afraid I won't be able to be friends in the future." He pulled the quilt over to Su Mingzhe Closing the cover, he picked up his shirt and put it on.Su Mingzhe took a long time to calm down. He wiped the corners of his mouth, put his clothes on, looked at Wu Xiao, and said, "I was serious just now..."

"I know," Wu Xiao smiled wryly, and pushed back his forehead hair, "We can't get too deep, otherwise, we won't be able to get out."

Su Mingzhe laughed suddenly, leaned his body to support his body with his arms, and said in an unclear way: "Do you think you can come out now?"

Wu Xiao looked at him, knelt down on the bed and leaned his head on his shoulder, and asked with some disappointment, "What can I do to keep you from leaving me?"

"I will not leave you." Su Mingzhe replied.

Wu Xiao looked up at him, shook his head and said, "You can't do it."

No one can make eternal promises, and people can't even predict what will happen in the next moment. What's more, Su Mingzhe is not alone, he also has a wife and children, especially the latter. Mingzhe's company, even if Su Mingzhe paid more attention to him, he would feel that it was a crime.

After the passion, the feeling of loneliness rose again. Wu Xiao blinked, and his eye sockets were a little red again. He had never felt that he was so vulnerable, and he never thought that he would like another person to such an extent; He raised his hand and touched the other person's cheek, and said: "Mingzhe, I really like you. This is so strange, I obviously liked girls before I met you, but I really don't want to see you Walk with others." At the end, his tone became trembling, he rubbed his eyes vigorously to stop the tears from flowing out; finally he simply raised the back of his hand to cover his eyes, and lay on Su Mingzhe's lap, like He said to himself: "I really don't understand why things have become like this today. What is Ah Qing thinking about all day long?"

After a while, he asked again: "If I said that I like you earlier, would you like to go with me?"

"I don't want to." Su Mingzhe said decisively, he took Wu Xiao's hand off, looked into his eyes, and said seriously: "I will tie you by my side."

Wu Xiao burst out laughing with a "puchi", wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and said, "Haha, I'm not someone to be manipulated around." As he spoke, he pulled the pillow and hit Su Mingzhe on the body.

The pillow fell from his face on the bed. Su Mingzhe was not angry, but smiled. He grabbed Wu Xiao's shoulder and fell backward. Wu Xiao subconsciously grabbed the edge of the bed, but only had time to pull up a corner of the quilt. The person rolled around on the bed wrapped around the quilt, almost falling off the bed.For the next 20 minutes or so, the two 1.8-meter-high men rolled and fought on the bed, having fun like children.

In the end, the two lay side by side on their backs on the bed, looked at the ceiling, and laughed loudly.

It was almost early morning, if Su Mingzhe hadn't turned off both of their mobile phones in advance, I don't know how many calls I would have received; Su Mingzhe knew that he had completely messed up this matter, from Lin Qing to Wu Xiao , He didn't handle a relationship well, and now even his parents have problems.He sighed silently and said, "Go to sleep."

No matter what, at least, it's better not to worry Wu Xiao, he's already messed up enough.

Wu Xiao tilted his head and asked, "I get up tomorrow morning, can I still see you?"

"Okay, good night." After finishing speaking, Su Mingzhe kissed him on the forehead, turned over and turned off the light.

Afterwards, the two completely cut off contact with the outside world, nestled in that small apartment every day, watched movies, chatted, and lived a meaningless but fulfilling life.After a long time, every time Wu Xiao recalled those days, he felt that it was the best time in his life.

This kind of life continued until three days later, and in the early morning of the fourth day, the two had breakfast as usual.Wu Xiao finished drinking the soy milk, wiped his mouth clean, and said calmly: "You'd better go, there are a lot of things waiting for you to deal with outside. I know, if I want, you can stay with me for a long time, but you can't Stay with me for the rest of my life, and I'm not such a willful person, so let's go. I won't live here in the future, I'll still live in the school, and see you in school when your affairs are settled."

As if he had expected this moment a long time ago, Su Mingzhe also acted calmly. He watched Wu Xiao tidy up the room, made some simple lunch, and then said goodbye to him with a smile and left.The room was quiet, Su Mingzhe took a deep breath, and turned on the phone...

Later, Wu Xiao found out that on the night of the wedding, Lin Qing also left after Su Mingzhe left, and she stayed in the bar until dawn; after that night, Lin Qing seemed to be a different person, if he was still a little playful before, Now, all that remains is arrogance and indifference, which makes Wu Xiao feel very strange, but at the same time, he thinks, maybe this is Lin Qing's original appearance.

It's like two boats drifting on the same lake. If they collide, falling into the water is inevitable. If you want to survive smoothly, you can only go your own way; Wu Xiao and Su Mingzhe are probably like this. The difference is that even if they fall into the water , but also to pray for that encounter.For Wu Xiao, Lin Qing is a memory, a nostalgia, and a piece of night sky that he can hardly touch; after a long time, Lin Qing said a word to him, which he will never forget, she said——

Love and being loved are not force and reaction force, loving you is my right, you have no obligation to love me.

The author has something to say:

This update has been delayed for a long time but the number of words is also more QVQ

I didn't expect the class to be so busy

This is a segment I really want to write, but because I have divided it into writing many times, I always feel that the expression is not clear. I hope that you can experience the helplessness and pain in life through a few words.