Guan Qi is silent

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"The plagiarized 'Sanskrit Master' means 'Take care of each other', right? Are you two alone? Guan Qi, you really let me down." Lin Shang usually had a cold and contemptuous light in his simple and pure eyes, "Thank you You are always so kind to me—hypocrisy!"

"I also think that you were taken in by a liar about the plagiarism, but Guan Qi, who told you to treat people so well..." Ah Wen's tone was light, as if he had already guessed it.

"You idiot, why didn't you ask for help when something happened like this? What about those people you treat well?" Tantai Jian caressed my face, and said hurtful words in a gentle tone, "Why don't you Like Ah Mo, I will help you for a while, but I have to go eventually."

More people scolded: "Plagiarism rubbish!" "Human flesh!" "It's shameless to show off."...

Too many people, usually dissatisfied with life, use a trivial matter to vent to an unknown person on the other end of the network. As the venom is sprayed, explanations can only be exchanged for more insults.

So "Fanyin Shao" disappeared, and "Guojiuxianggu" appeared, but I don't want to use the Internet anymore, so Manshe can only send people to collect manuscripts.

My neck seemed to be tightly strangled, and I was suffocating in pain. While trying my best to scream out, I laughed inexplicably and horribly.

I opened my eyes in horror and gasped for breath. The moonlight crawled in coldly and shone on the quilt. There were traces of Tantai Jane lying beside me—he was answering the phone outside, whispering softly to the person on the other end of the phone: "A Mo, just come back, I will pick you up."

I turned around and looked inward, looking at the moonlight on the edge of the window, it was so cool in the endless blackness, I closed my eyes, very tired, maybe it was too cold, the night in late summer is always cold—— I wrapped the quilt tightly around my body.

I know, Tantai Jian and I, it's time to end now.

There was the sound of slippers behind me, and then the bed beside me sank, and a pleasant voice came: "Qi, are you awake?" Then a warm hand reached into the quilt and touched my back before coming out, Tantai Jane turned up the air conditioner, "It seems that he woke up from the cold, sweating all over, and must have had a nightmare."

I dare not turn around and look at that beautiful and gentle person.

It is not easy to live, I finally met a person I really want to be with him for the rest of my life, but no matter how good this person is to me, he does not belong to me.

Silently, I pulled back the quilt and handed it to him. He pulled me into his arms, and the fragrance of the fragrance wafted from his nostrils. I heard him say slowly: "Ah Qi, Ah Mo finally figured it out, he wants to come back." I'm done." Then he held my hand much tighter, "I'm sorry, but I want to make you a human again."

I let out a muffled "um", and the warmth and sense of security that once made me feel stable but fragile came from my back.

Tantai Jian's long and slender hands combed my hair gently, and said slowly in the tone of coaxing a child to sleep: "Don't eat cold food, take stomach medicine, remember to take the medicine for pollen allergy with you, if you don't want to use it If you use the Internet, you can go to the library to read books, don’t stay at home all the time, and—” Tantai Jian rubbed my head, “If you really want to be loved by others, you should learn to act like a baby. , how can you blindly treat others so well that you will take your heart out? There are too few people like Sister Wen..."

Looking at the bleak moonlight outside the window, I understand that this moment is the time for us to say goodbye forever.

I have never loved Tantai Jian, even for a minute, a second, a centimeter, and he is the same.

But I don't want him to go.I grabbed the corner of the quilt.

In the past, we were like two fish in a dry rut, wetting each other for wetness and smoldering for each other.Even if there is no love, warm each other.

But he's leaving.

I tried my best to take a breath, the cold breath permeated my lungs, and my whole body was cold.The embrace behind her is so unreal, even though the owner of the embrace is still babbling about "you can't eat grapes with hot water...find someone to accompany you..." It obviously exists, but it doesn't seem to exist.

I closed my eyes, recalling every bit of this person's kindness to me.

"Ah Mo, is that you...Sorry, I was so abrupt." I was stunned at the beginning.

"Few Sanskrit sounds? I helped you once, even if you changed it to something else, you should thank me anyway, why don't you make a promise with your body?" After getting acquainted with each other, they teased.

"In this case, why don't we pretend to be a family once, you play Ah Mo, and I play your man." After being drunk, the two lonely and sad hearts cuddled together.

"Ah Mo, I made pudding today...you have to eat it, don't be afraid of getting fat."

"Ah Mo, you don't like eggplants, ah, I'm helping you pick tomatoes."

"Ah Mo, you have such a strange habit that you have never changed. You are not allowed to watch TV, and you are only allowed to watch me when you are eating."

"Ah Mo, did you have a nightmare last night? Almost kicked me to death... No, I don't think I will have any children... unless you can, of course."

……

Those little things are good, in the end, the premise is that I am "A Mo", until tonight, I was beaten back to "A Qi", a passerby who has nothing to do with him.

He is good to Ah Mo.It's not good for Guan Qi.

I really don't love him, so I take it easy.But still feel wronged and unwilling.

Is it because Guan Qi seems tough enough that no one should treat him well?

Even if I knew it was a dream, the pain of nowhere to go after waking up is indescribable, but at least——

I'm human too, and I get hurt too.

When I opened my eyes again, I thought my eyes must be full of extreme sadness and longing.I stretched out my hand and pulled Tantaijian's neck over. He was close to me without any gap, which made me pass the warmth of tears from far away. I looked into his eyes and saw his eyes widened in shock His eyes widened: "Don't you want to listen to me anymore?"

I hooked his neck with both hands, and I took his head off, went up to him, and gnawed indiscriminately, maybe I seemed crazy at this time, he didn't push me away, didn't make me more sad, but I , Kissing and kissing, but slowed down, pecking lightly, finally, weeping uncontrollably.

Tantai Jian let out a long sigh, hugged me tightly, and remained silent.

I was thinking desperately, and after he left, I returned to a helpless state, choking my throat and uttering with difficulty:

"Tantaijian, I can't even kiss...I want to find someone who is very good...and finally give it to him...but a lifetime is too long...the road ahead is so dark...don't pester you, I will definitely I won't pester you...but please, please...you can use acting like a baby...please ask me...just tonight, I beg you..."

I uttered intermittently, tears rolling down my face.

Can you treat me as Guan Qi and treat me well once?In this way, I don't have anything to be sad or unwilling to do. Let Guan Qi be treated well by others, and even if the things that parents can't do are done by one person, even if this person doesn't belong to me, what else can I complain about?

He is the person who understands the rotten nature of my skin best. Only when such a person treats me well can I truly believe and treat me sincerely.I will enshrine all the little memories he has been kind to me, bathe and change clothes, wash hands and burn incense, check every day, I am grateful for the memories, so why would I pester him?After pestering him, after all, people who treat me well will hate me and abandon me...

"Idiot, what are you talking about, my body should be given to someone better than me." The person holding me stroked my face, pulled the tissue on the bedside to wipe my tears, and comforted me weakly: "I'm sorry You are not good at all, I don't even know what you like, I am actually a very bad person, I have always liked Ah Mo. My kindness to you is all fake."

I grabbed his skirt relentlessly, my tears fell faster, my lips moved, silently begging.

"You have to wait, Guan Qi, you are a very good person." His voice was faint and couldn't reach the bottom of my heart, I shook my head in horror——don't!Don't say I'm a nice guy!don't want!

It was my parents who taught me to be gentle with others.Because they let me understand how painful it is to be hurt.I can't do to others what I don't want to be done to others.

But all the time——

"Guan Qi, you are a very good boy, so the teacher adjusted him to sit with you. He is not good, the teacher knows..."

"Guan Qi, you are so kind, I know you will definitely give me the one you just got."

"Guan Qi, you are the best, you take my place..."

"Guan Qi, I know you've been doing well, anyway, there's still a second round of elections, so just give me the spot... I know you wrote the manuscript, but please, please—"

"Guan Qi, you were very nice to me before, you would invite me to do anything, why..."

"Guan Qi, how can you be angry with others? I thought you were pretty good! Hmph!"

"Guan Qi is that kind of good old man, it would be a pity not to take advantage of him."

"That's right, he deserves to always be nice to people, and he hates this kind of people the most."

"Guan Qi Guan Qi, please make up this man's manuscript, he ran away before he finished updating, Guan Qi please, I know you are very good, you can do all kinds of styles - just this one time! You are the best !"

"You deserve to be cheated by me! What a shame! Who told you to be a good person—"

"Guan Qi, what's the matter with you, you used to share it with me... I thought you were very good, hypocrisy."

……

Being nice to people has become a habit, because I firmly believe that I am pure and good, even if my heart is tired, I can't treat people with evil.But the reason why I became like this may be bad luck, I can never meet someone who treats me well.I didn't want to ask for it, really, it was just too desperate.

I suddenly turned around, bumped into Tantai Jian's arms, hugged him fiercely, and screamed: "No, I'm not a good person, please, please don't say it! I'm not a good person! I'm not a good person!"

If you can ask me because I'm good enough, then I don't want to be a good person at all.

In fact, I am a person who is cheerful on the surface but dark on the inside, very, very extreme.

I hate all the people who want me to treat them well, because they are just a group of blood-sucking leeches, silently sticking to the body, sucking blood greedily, can't tear it off, force it off, they will resent you Leave a wound.But obviously, they shouldn't be given blood.

"Ah Qi." Tantai Jian was still gentle and subdued, he pressed my head into his arms, gently ran along my back, and said softly, "If you're tired, why don't you stop? It's not good for them. .You are too soft-hearted, but you are not willing to give up after paying."

He kissed my forehead, the soft touch made me calm, but at the same time despaired——Yes, Guan Qi, no one can treat you well, they all have their own reasons.

"Let me tell you a story, Qi, you will fall asleep soon." He patted me lightly and said slowly, "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little mermaid..."

He talked about "The Daughter of the Sea", the woman who gave silently and finally turned into a bubble, as if she was alluding to me. Although I knew he didn't mean it, I was still sad.

I listened silently, feeling that he felt relieved when he saw me calm down, and then the clapping became slower and slower, and finally the sound disappeared, and his hands were warmly pressed against my body.

The moonlight reflected on his face, still so pretty, with a smile on the corner of his mouth - he must be very happy.

I couldn't fall asleep, so I quietly broke away from him and got up, packed all his clothes and shoes, put them in the suitcase when he came, and used two more suitcases-I have been with him for quite a while Yes.

The moonlight gradually dissipated its brilliance, and the coolness scattered.In the living room, my shadow accompanied me, working hard.There are still a lot to clean up, I am already sleepy, staring at my little shadow, it is a soft black mass, I sighed, sneezed, got up and went to sleep.

Getting into Tantai Jian's arms again, he hugged me half asleep and half awake, and asked: "Wake up at night? It's so cold." I didn't say a word, I got into his shoulder socket, wrapped around him, and absorbed the last bit of warmth.He fell asleep by himself, and I closed my eyes too. In my dream, there was a heavy fragrance of his body.

Before I fell asleep, I smiled sadly:

I just accepted a life of loneliness again.Guan Qi, you are so kind.You have nothing left.

I was awakened by the severe pain in my head, and I got up lightly, the sun covered the quilt, and it was enchantingly bright, and the surrounding was already empty, and when I touched it, it was cold.

My body was alternately hot and cold. It seemed that I had caught a cold. I got out of bed and went outside.

The empty house was so white by the sun that I could hardly keep my eyes open.The room was silent, only the sound of my breathing.

Tantai Jian put all the things back in their original places, and did not take anything away. I understand that he was afraid that he would leave too cleanly, and I would feel uncomfortable alone.

There is a very simple breakfast on the table, as usual.I ate the cold sandwich, drank the cold milk, washed the glasses and put them away.

Finally, put away the spare key of the house that he left on the table.

The computer was turned on, and Sister Wen had an order. When she got married, I had to guard the door for her, to trip up the groom, and of course Lin Shang and the others. Lin Shang was the best man.

I laughed silently, lay on my back on the bed, and fell asleep again after a while.

The only sound in the room was the hum of the laptop fan.

During this period, I woke up several times in a daze, feeling very uncomfortable, and couldn't see anything clearly. My whole body seemed to be trapped in a ball of heat, and my eyelids seemed to be glued, so I couldn't open them.

In the dream, it was a cold hometown, parents with their own families, the slowly decomposing corpse of grandma on the straw mat, and fat and greasy maggots in the limbs of salted fish hanging under the eaves.

Guan Qi just said that no one should treat him well, and whoever treats him well should go away if he is light, and die if he is serious.But Guan Qi just wants to be nice to others, and timidly hopes that he can get even a little return for what he has given.

"Guan Qi, what does your 'Qi' mean?"

Yes, what do you mean?I can't remember it for a while.

It seems... a very sad meaning...

The author has something to say: A friend in real life asked me if this chapter was about Tang Qi... I just want to answer that no, this article was written a long time ago, and now I just typed it out.

It's a little sad that my friend's focus turned out to be plagiarism.

Is it not obvious that I want to show Guan Qi's character with things?