drifting dreams broken heart

Shu still clearly remembers that time when the two of them made an appointment to go out to play together. During the period, they took a lot of photos, including simple scenes and intimate photos of the two of them. The photos taken during the itinerary showed a wave, not to show off, but I just think it is necessary.And Ruozhen also posted a post by coincidence, but there were only two photos, one was a lackluster urban night scene, and the other was a photo of herself.The mouse thought it was a little funny, and turned to ask Ruozhen:

"I said, your post is concise enough, you don't even give me a chance to appear on camera."

"Aha, Moments, post casually, don't you think these two photos are very good?"

"It's very good, but it looks more emotional with the photo of the two of us together."

"Oh, it's not like you don't know, how could this kind of photo be seen by family members."

"Just set a display limit, it's the best of both worlds." Shu forced a smile from the corner of his mouth.

"Why bother, just don't play around with it. This thing is fake, don't say you still care about it."

"It's nothing, it's just that I feel that it really doesn't exist, at least I often feel this way. False? Then many things we are doing now are meaningless. According to this theory, we should not do them at all. It's a waste of time anyway."

"What do you mean!" Ruozhen raised his tone, looking a little annoyed.

"There's no need to be so secretive, isn't it indecent? Don't talk about it. Take a step back and say, as long as you live a happy life, your family has no reason to object." After finishing speaking, the mouse turned its head out of the window , looked far away, then turned to stare at Ruozhen.At this time, a few dark shadows appeared in the sky.

"I can't define what happiness is, but if you can afford a house with us, I'll take you to see my dad tomorrow."

The mouse narrowed its eyes, put a small piece of sea salt cake with milk into its mouth, rubbed its hands vigorously, stared at Ruozhen's side face, and nodded silently.

Shu is the kind of perfectionist who pays special attention to the details and experience in love, and this kind of non-existence made him feel heavy depression, sitting in the last seat of the classroom, staring blankly at Ruochen in the front row, he always felt a sense of loss Feeling lost.What's more deadly is the sharp personality conflict between the two. If they disagree, they are in the stage of a cold war.Such a result directly caused the two to drift between breaking up or not breaking up for a long time, and then diluted until both parties had no expectations for this relationship and finally had nothing to say.

The strange thing is that they didn't break up when they graduated from university.

After graduation, they naturally became a long-distance relationship. Although the eager lingering has long since disappeared, they still retain the status of lovers.After work, Shu buys a few lottery tickets every day, not because he has too much spare money, but because he is strictly following Ruozhen's instructions.In Ruozhen's words: "It's impossible to rely on your dead salary every month. We can only hope that the welfare lottery will make you a windfall, so that you can buy a house here, so let's continue." Some necessary'.Shu and Ruozhen talked on the phone, and Ruozhen also deliberately emphasized that his mother arranged several blind dates for him, and said that he would get married before the age of 27 as if nothing had happened.Thinking about it, it has been less than three years, and there is not much time left for myself.Shu thought silently, and slapped a red ticket on the table, "Just this number, add three more bets."

Since Ruozhen always hoped that Shu could be in the same city as him, he was quite dissatisfied with Shu's current working environment.In fact, at the job fair before graduation, Shu had already signed a job with Ruozhen in the same city, but in order to realize the agreement between the two of them faster with a higher salary, Shu gave up his previous job and chose the current company.Rat would complain to his girlfriend about the difficult working environment when talking on the phone. Ruozhen didn't say what Rat wanted to hear, but simply teased: "This is the end of changing jobs on your own initiative without discussing with me."

There is a disparity in the ratio of men to women in Rat's workplace, a fact Ruozhen knew from the beginning.

"Here, look, if I leave you, I'm afraid you will die here alone." Ruozhen turned on the video call, straightened the phone, sat on the sofa and concentrated on eating the egg tart he made, and looked at the mouse as if nothing had happened. .

"Well, it's almost like this. It's true that there are not many female colleagues. I have to thank you for helping me."

"That's not the case, but in the barren soil of the opposite sex, your mentality may change, a subtle change."

"Change? Lost the critical capital and become worried about gains and losses? Or are you afraid of losing you and becoming a lonely family?"

"Then I can't say it's not good. Anyway, it's better to be realistic about some things, and I don't want to have a cold war with you every now and then. It feels very tiring and meaningless."

"Some things have been stored for too long, and it is impossible to forget them in the short term. Real life is dull, and there is nothing wrong with having a little dream. I will not abandon too much nature for the reality that goes against my will."

"Well, you still like to flaunt your principles like that, but no matter what you think, you should face reality." Ruozhen gently knocked off the burnt dough with a small spoon, and divided the egg tart from the middle for two.

After hanging up the video, the room was suddenly eerily quiet. Mouse heard his heavy breathing and dry heartbeat, and then lay on the bed facing the wall and fell into deep thought.

"I still need absolute firmness and encouragement to have the courage to love you further." Shu didn't look sideways, thinking silently, his eyes focused on the pure white wall in the room, which was a void.

"But I still can't control the depression in my heart. I am angry and I am gnashing my teeth. Is it because I am too naive or I should treat feelings with a vague attitude. I heard that vagueness can create defects and cause desires, but how can I I don’t feel it at all. I hate myself very much, and I have never rejected it so firmly. I don’t want to rub sand in my eyes, but I always wander around on the beach. If there is too much dust in my eyes, I will be blind.” He stared blankly at the wall above his head through empty eyes.

Shu suddenly remembered Mo Bai's words, "The person who pursues me must stand the test of time, in other words, first of all, he must have the spirit of perseverance."But the mouse suddenly lost interest in this persistence, and felt like a child who was striving for excellence, coveting the little red flower in the teacher's hand every day, but the teacher was afraid that he would be too proud, so he slackened his efforts and neglected the pursuit. Tighten the safflower in your hand, don't let it show a little bit.Wanting to let it appear at the most glorious moment, such an honor is worthy of the teacher's expectations.However, Shu looked at other classmates who were all red and teased and boasted from time to time. Shu felt very confused. It is a painful thing to exist in other people's conversations and be consumed. The flowers are gone, and the teacher's promise that I don't know when and what month can be fulfilled disappeared without a trace.