Jigsaw puzzle

Han Yicheng was completely unprepared for such a thing to happen. At that time, he was listening to a graduate student's project report in the lecture hall.While recording the main points of the meeting, he calculated the unfinished data on his laptop yesterday.At this time, he heard the graduate student who was giving the report say: "The boundary disturbance data of the cloud is floating...", and he suddenly remembered that in his calculation model, there seemed to be some design points that had not been corrected.

Han Yicheng recalled yesterday's calculation data, and just about to correct the formula, he found that he couldn't remember what to modify.He stared at the program mode with black and white characters on the screen for a while, his stomach hurt, and he felt something flow out of his body.

Han Yicheng's perception of his own state is very slow now, and the raging and sharp emotions seem to be covered with several layers of plastic sheets, and they are forcibly pressed to the ground.Han Yicheng knew that they were stirring restlessly below, but he couldn't really feel it.

It wasn't until he accidentally touched his face that he didn't know when tears flowed down his face.

The academic lecture hall has a large space, and the audiences are not seated closely together. Han Yicheng hurriedly stood up and walked out with his head down before anyone else noticed his strangeness. , In the end, he ran back to his office almost like fleeing.

Tian Lei escaped from the report meeting today and was dozing off alone in the office. He was taken aback by Han Yicheng closing the door with a "bang". He muttered and was about to blame him when he found that Han Yicheng was in a very strange state. state.

"You... what's going on?"

Tian Lei stared blankly at Han Yicheng huddled on the chair, tears poured out silently at an abnormal speed as if a gate had been opened, he tentatively took a few steps forward, but Han Yicheng trembled violently Suddenly, leave the chair and shrink to the corner.

"Don't come here." Han Yicheng whispered.

Tian Lei could see that Han Yicheng was trying to adjust his state, but it was a pity that there was little success. He was trembling more and more, staring at the ground all the time, and sweat was dripping from his forehead.

Just as Tian Lei was standing there helpless, the office door rang twice and was pushed open again.Cheng Yi poked his head in, just in time to see Tian Lei standing there dumbstruck, she frowned, and spoke helplessly.

"Senior brother, at least one of you and senior brother Han must be present. Boss Wei just passed by and saw that I was alone, and he was getting angry over there!"

Cheng Yi stood at the place where she just entered, and couldn't see Han Yicheng who was huddled in the corner of the room. She thought that Han Yicheng was not in the room, so she hesitated and took two steps forward, explaining and following Tian Lei's gaze to the side Look: "Boss Wei said that he won't be able to see anyone later, so he--" Cheng Yi didn't finish speaking, when she saw Han Yicheng who shrank to the side and shook like a sieve, she froze for a moment, what she was about to say just now All choked back into the stomach.

Cheng Yi reacted for a long time but didn't understand the situation in front of her. She looked at Han Yicheng and Tian Lei, and finally turned her head angrily and asked Tian Lei: "What did you do to him!"

"What can I do to him?" Tian Lei pinched his brows speechlessly, "Even if we fight, I'm the one who gets beaten, right? Do I look like a bad guy? Why are you both wronged? I!"

Cheng Yi compared the size of the two of them, and had to admit that what Tian Lei said was also reasonable. She hesitated and looked at Han Yicheng, and asked worriedly: "Then... what's going on?"

"How would I know? I'm here to catch up on sleep. He's like this as soon as he comes back. I thought he was stimulated by something during the meeting."

"I just saw that he ran out of the venue suddenly. I thought you called him." Cheng Yi tried to step forward and waved his hand in front of Han Yicheng twice, "Brother...? Can you hear me? ?”

Han Yicheng's eyes were empty, except for the tears still streaming down his face, he didn't seem to have any reaction to the outside world. He noticed that Cheng Yi took two steps closer, and he huddled himself tighter, as if he was avoiding something.

Tian Lei gave a "tsk" twice, and muttered in a puzzled voice, "Suddenly, could it be that he was stupefied?"

"I think it's a bit like bipolar disorder as it is said on the Internet..." Cheng Yi glanced helplessly at Tian Lei. Even if there was a gap between the brothers and sisters, they couldn't take care of it for the time being. "Should we Call his family, there is no way to go on like this, Boss Wei is still angry over there."

Tian Lei nodded, picked up his mobile phone from Han Yicheng's desk and handed it to Cheng Yi: "His family members are all abroad, you can look for him and see if he can call his boyfriend."

Cheng Yi took Han Yicheng's cell phone in a panic, found out Li Ran's number and dialed it, within a few seconds, the call was answered there.

"Hello? Li Ran? I'm Cheng Yi, can you come over to the brother's unit? He... had an accident."

"Which building are you, what floor and room? I'll go there immediately."

As soon as Cheng Yi reported the specific address truthfully, Li Ran on the other end of the phone began to rush downstairs. His voice was a little panted when he ran, and he asked Cheng Yi while he was taking a taxi: "Can you tell me what's going on?"

"There was a meeting just now. I saw my senior brother running out by himself. I thought he had something to do, so I followed him. Now he... is shaking all the time, and his mood is very unstable, as if he can't hear us."

"Did he do anything extreme?" Li Ran asked.

"No, it's just an emotional breakdown. What's going on?"

"I'll explain it to you when I get there. If possible, let him be alone for a while, and don't let more people see him like this. Please, I've already taken a taxi, and I'll be there in about ten minutes."

"Okay." Cheng Yi heard Li Ran's tone, as if she had experienced such a thing, which made her calm down a little.She hung up the phone and dragged Tian Lei out of the office together, leaving Han Yicheng inside and closing the office door.

The two looked at each other for a while, and Tian Lei said first, "Go downstairs and pick that guy up, or he'll waste time talking to the security guards. I'll go over to the old man first, and let's say that Han Yicheng was I let him attend the meeting instead of me."

Cheng Yi let out a "hmm", turned around and ran downstairs, after only two steps, Tian Lei stopped her and handed her a key.

"I just locked the door of our office. In case someone goes in and sees him like that, you take the key first and use it to open the door when you come back later."

Cheng Yi took the key and went downstairs, fidgeting around in the lobby on the first floor several times, and saw a taxi driving fast outside.As soon as the car stopped, Li Ran quickly jumped out of the car, gave some instructions to the driver, and followed Cheng Yi upstairs.

In the elevator room, Cheng Yi took a quick look at Li Ran, watching his fingers unconsciously tap on the elevator handrail quickly, looking a little nervous.The bangs on his forehead were all wet with sweat and stuck to his forehead, making him almost unrecognizable.

In the past, Cheng Yi always looked at Li Ran with envy. She felt that Li Ran was different from bookworms like them. He was born with the free and easy coolness of an art student.But today, the handsome guy in her impression was gone, and replaced by a young man who was struggling for his life just like thousands of ordinary people.

When Cheng Yi led Li Ran to the corridor of the office, Li Ran's heart sank. He saw three or four people gathered at the door of one of the rooms, discussing around the wooden door, and from the door, came the regular "" Knock, knock, knock at the door.

Seeing this, Cheng Yi quickly brushed aside the crowd and said with a smile: "Ah, don't look, I accidentally locked my senior brother inside just now, he is probably going to get angry with me, everyone, don't look, get out quickly."

The few people around were students who had just graduated like Cheng Yi, and one of them asked suspiciously: "We just asked who is inside, if it's really Brother Han, why didn't anyone respond? Besides, Don't you have a good relationship with your brother? Can he bear to scold you?"

"I..." Cheng Yi suddenly felt embarrassed, not knowing what to say to distract this group of good-natured people.

Li Ran panicked. He knew he must not open the door in front of them, and when he was about to intervene, he heard an extremely impatient male voice behind him.

"What are you all doing here? You don't need to go to the meeting, do you?" Tian Lei stood behind Li Ran and asked with a cold face.

Although these men were not afraid of Cheng Yi, they were still very afraid of Tian Lei, so they quickly left with a smile, what should they do.

Tian Lei nodded to Cheng Yi, and said in a voice that could be heard in the entire corridor: "You too, after taking the things, return the key to the meeting room for me, don't fish here."

Cheng Yi didn't expect Tian Lei to help them achieve this step, so he hurriedly agreed, and when there were fewer people in the corridor, he quickly found a chance to unlock and take Li Ran into the office.

Han Yicheng was still in the motion of knocking on the door. When he saw the door opened, he took a few steps back in a jerk, and only looked at Li Ran. Like a wronged child, he could barely stop. Tears started falling again.

Li Ran thought that Han Yicheng wasn't even "crying", because a person must have some sound when crying, but Han Yicheng still didn't make a sound even though his face was full of tears, the quietness made people feel distressed.

Li Ran hurried forward and hugged him. Han Yicheng didn't retreat like when others approached, but he didn't give Li Ran any response. He still stood there stiffly. After a while, he whispered to Li Ran: "I want to go back. Home."

Li Ran forgot how he got Han Yicheng into the taxi, and how he endured the chicken soup-style preaching from the taxi driver all the way. In short, when he got home, he was so tired that he seemed to have peeled off his skin.

After this incident, Han Yicheng's state began to decline significantly. Basically, he was in only three states throughout the day, falling into an endless loop of collapse, creepy eyesight, and lethargy.

For Li Ran, the only good news may be that Han Yicheng will no longer harm himself, but at the cost of this, he has basically become a walking dead now, and only by constantly chatting with him and persuading and preaching can he bring a little bit of mentality little improvement.

Han Yicheng had to take sick leave for a long time, turned down several projects in his hands, and finally received a call from the personnel department. From next month, he will go through the procedure of serious illness leave, and only keep the minimum basic salary before returning to work.

Li Ran took him to Director Qian for another psychological counseling. After returning, Han Yicheng got better for two days and then returned to his original state.Director Qian suggested that Li Ran consider letting Han Yicheng be hospitalized, but Han Yicheng himself was very resistant to the concept of hospitalization, almost collapsed once Li Ran mentioned it.

Later, Li Ran didn't dare to talk to him about this suggestion, but just supervised him to take medicine every day, and then came back from get out of class as early as possible to talk with him, trying to take him out of that endless loop over and over again.

Chatting with depressed patients is very exhausting for a normal person like Li Ran.Most of the time there is absolutely no reason to talk to Han Yicheng, no matter how many times Li Ran repeats to him, "You are fine, this is just part of the treatment, none of this is your fault, I really love you." In the end, Han Yicheng will still win Come to the conclusion of "I did it myself, I dragged everyone down, and I don't deserve to get better".

Once, twice, ten times, twenty times, Li Ran can still bear it, but when this kind of conversation happens dozens of times, and it doesn't stop, Li Ran also starts to become extremely irritable.Finally one day, Li Ran returned home suppressing his anger after going through two procedures for withdrawing classes during the day, and saw Han Yicheng standing motionless in front of the window, staring at the dark sky outside in a daze.

The family upstairs seemed to be arguing today, and the voices of the quarreling came indistinctly, which intensified the gloomy atmosphere in the room.Li Ran was physically and mentally exhausted. He threw the rice he bought on the table and called Han Yicheng to come over for dinner. Han Yicheng sat on the chair, took two mouthfuls, and said sullenly, "You don't need to buy it for me in the future."

"What's the matter? You don't like this store? Let's make do with it today. I'll go to my mother's place tomorrow and bring back some soup she stewed."

"Auntie knows I'm like this, will she let you live with me?"

"Whether it's going to happen or not, my own mother knows best," Li Ran felt uncomfortable hearing his words, and raised his voice unconsciously, "Just don't think so much."

"It's not normal to drag others down."

Hearing what Han Yicheng said, the anger that had been suppressed for a long time suddenly burst out. He stood up suddenly, threw his chopsticks aside, and asked Han Yicheng: "So what do you mean by telling me this? You want me to go away." ? You don’t want to be with me anymore?”

Han Yicheng didn't answer, and kept his head silent.

"Why can't you listen to what I'm talking to you? Huh?" Li Ran became angry, and his voice became louder, "How many times have I told you! I don't blame you for being sick! I want to be with you! Together after recovering from illness! I know you love your sister and your parents very much, but they have already left you, right? Why do you have to use the past to punish yourself? "

"You love them very much, so you punish yourself if something happens to them, but I love you too. Is it fair for you to do this? Why do you have to torture yourself and make me sad!"

Li Ran's last words were almost screamed out. His voice was too loud. It may have penetrated the ceiling and reached the upstairs. The noisy couple upstairs stopped because of the earth-shattering sound. For a while, the whole living room was terribly quiet. Li Ran Also like a deflated balloon, slowly sliding back to the chair.

The two of them faced each other quietly like this. After an unknown amount of time, Li Ran heard Han Yicheng say, "I don't want to make you sad."

"Let's separate." Han Yicheng said again.

"What did you say?" Li Ran stared at him in disbelief and asked.

"Let's separate."

Li Ran didn't know how he could still be so angry while being so discouraged, he laughed back in anger, snorted coldly and said: "It's time to separate for a while, I don't want to see you again for a second now Your stinking face."

Han Yicheng didn't expect Li Ran to say this. He felt that his viscera had been cut open by a blunt knife, and he injected anesthesia into the wound, even pain was not allowed.He stood up and took two steps, went to the hanger to get his clothes, put them on, and walked out. Before reaching the door, Li Ran pushed him back.

"Where the hell do you want to go like that? You're still sick, you know?"

After these two sentences, Li Ran didn't even put on his clothes, and slammed the door with a "bang" and went out.When he walked to the door of the unit, he realized that there were snowflakes outside. Only then did Li Ran realize that he ran out wearing a sweater.He quickly ran to the small supermarket to buy a pack of cigarettes, then ran back to the door of the unit, and started smoking one by one.

After smoking the first stick, Li Ran began to regret his actions just now. After all, Han Yicheng is also a patient, and his actions just now did not help him, but continued to hurt him.

After smoking the third one, Li Ran wanted to go back and have a look. He recalled the last time he got angry and left Han Yicheng in the same way and left. When he came back, that person was sweating profusely from a nightmare, and he would never forget the look in his eyes. no.

Li Ran couldn't finish the fourth cigarette, so he put out most of the remaining cigarette butts on the trash can at the door, and walked back to the building quickly.Not even waiting for the elevator, Li Ran climbed up five floors and opened the door with the key, out of breath.

Han Yicheng was still sitting at the place where Li Ran left, and his posture didn't change much. When he saw Li Ran came back, his eyes began to turn red, and his pupils, which had been out of focus for several weeks, gradually regained some brightness.

"I'm sorry." Han Yicheng said, "I shouldn't have talked to you like that."

Li Ran's breathing was stagnant, and he wished he could rush back to an hour ago to give himself a mouthful.

"You can talk to me whatever you want, but I shouldn't yell," Li Ran said hoarsely, "You can say whatever you want, you can scold yourself, you can scold me, you can give up on yourself, say yourself It’s okay if you don’t want to be cured, but just don’t tell me to break up.”

Han Yicheng's throat choked up. He and Li Ran were both standing in the living room, not far away, but there was still no physical contact.

Li Ran repeated again: "I don't blame you for whatever you say, but just don't tell me to break up, I beg you."

"it is good."

Hearing Han Yicheng's reply, a stone in Li Ran's heart finally fell to the ground.He was really too tired. He didn't sleep well the night before. He attended three classes during the day and made such a fuss again at night.Li Ran had been suffocating an evil fire before, supporting him to run like a machine. Now that he had vented all of a sudden, his legs went limp and he sat on the ground directly.

Seeing Li Ran like this, Han Yicheng silently sat beside him. For the first time in a long time, he took the initiative to lean a little closer to Li Ran. Li Ran tilted his head on his shoulder and fell asleep.

It wasn't until midnight that Li Ran woke up in a daze and asked, "What time is it?"

"It's almost twelve o'clock." Han Yicheng replied, and after a while, he said again, "Today is my birthday."

"Well, luckily I haven't slept," Li Ran took out his pocket, found the morning glory seeds he had put away for a day from his trouser pocket, and handed it to Han Yicheng.

"Happy birthday."

There was no light in the room, so Han Yicheng could only take the small plastic bag by the moonlight. He held the bag of seeds in his hand and looked at it carefully for a long time.

Finally, Li Ran heard Han Yicheng sobbing, even though the voice was very small, Li Ran could hear clearly, Han Yicheng let out a loud cry like thousands of sad people in this world.

"Take me to the hospital," he said.