Jigsaw puzzle

Han Yicheng hardly closed his eyes that night, he couldn't control himself to keep thinking, thinking about his illness for a while, and thinking about his relationship with Li Ran for a while.The psychological construction I had done so many times for myself collapsed in an instant. Once that set of horny thinking came up, everything else became extremely powerless.

Han Yicheng didn't want to lose the chain at this juncture, but the more he wanted to control, the more panicked he became. He couldn't help tossing and tossing, and was afraid of disturbing Li Ran who was sleeping beside him. Horror nursery rhymes I've heard.

He felt like he was wearing cursed shoes, and he had to cut off his feet together to stop this absurd thing with pain.Standing like a corpse until dawn, Han Yicheng's face was ashen, and his expression was particularly ugly.

Li Ran noticed Han Yicheng's strangeness from the middle of the night. He didn't pierce the window paper, but pushed Han Yicheng who was on the verge of collapse when the alarm clock was about to ring in the morning.

"I'll go see Qi Xin off, you didn't sleep well, why don't you sleep for a while, huh?"

Han Yicheng snorted, and wrapped himself under the quilt, trying to relieve the more unbearable fear and anxiety with suffocation and darkness.Seeing Han Yicheng like this, Li Ran knew that he was going to fall ill again. No matter how much he felt sorry for him now, it was useless. The longer he stayed here, the more Han Yicheng's pain would only increase.

Li Ran quickly put on his clothes and packed his things to urge Qi Xin to go out. Qi Xin was smart and smart, vaguely guessed that something was wrong with Han Yicheng, and worriedly looked towards his bedroom door several times.

"He just didn't sleep well, don't worry," Li Ran helped Qi Xin carry his schoolbag on his back, and tried to show a convincing smile, "Let's eat fried chicken together after a while, shall we?"

Qi Xin nodded, took a last look inside, turned her head and followed Li Ran out.Qi Xin seemed to say something to Li Ran again, but was covered by the sound of the security door closing.

Han Yicheng, who was hiding in the bedroom, stumbled out. He put his ear on the cold metal anti-theft door, making sure to hear what Qi Xin and Li Ran were saying outside.He bit his own tiger's mouth to barely hold back his voice, but he couldn't help cursing himself over and over again in his heart.

Crazy, pathetic, wretched, despicable and perverted...

"Brother Aran, you should also be happy and take care of yourself," Qi Xin's voice gradually weakened, and disappeared with the roar of the elevator, "When I grow up..."

Han Yicheng leaned against the anti-theft door as if he was exhausted, and the tiger's mouth on his left hand was bitten by himself, which was bloody and bloody.The volcanic eruption of despair has passed, leaving only the gurgling pain flowing in the blood, like a blunt knife, sharpening his exhausted nerves one by one.

You are so useless, just a burden that will only drag everyone down, the better someone treats you, the worse the end will be.

Han Yicheng twitched/convulsed, a voice like this has been with him for many years, but he was in a daze before, and he never felt that such whispers in his head were so unbearable for him.

Why are you worthy of staying with them and giggling nonchalantly? Don't you feel sick? How can you be so brazen?Isn't it okay to live alone?Far away from everyone, isn't it your destiny to live out your sinful life?

no…

Han Yicheng hugged his knees and curled up on the floor, his whole body was cold, and he gradually came to his senses.The wound on the hand was still throbbing with pain, but at the same time, there was a kind of hidden pleasure mixed in it, which couldn't be explained clearly.

He didn't know how long he sat on the ground, maybe only a few minutes, but it felt like a few hours. In winter, the sun rises relatively late. At this time, the sun just came in from the window, and Han Yicheng's body gradually pick up.

After a long time, he muttered to himself again: "No."

When Li Ran came back with the soy milk buns, Han Yicheng had returned to his usual state. Except for a few more bandages on his hands, it seemed that nothing had happened just now.

As soon as Li Ran entered the door, he noticed a new injury on Han Yicheng's hand, but he didn't say anything, and handed Han Yicheng breakfast: "Hurry up and eat, or you will get dizzy if you take the car on an empty stomach later."

Han Yicheng took the plastic bag, took a pair of chopsticks from the side, picked up a small steamed bun, put it in his mouth, and chewed mechanically.

Han Yicheng felt that God seemed to be playing tricks on him on purpose. Every time he "lost control", the "real feeling" of life would become extraordinarily beautiful, and the experience of happiness with all senses would be magnified.Obviously before this, he hadn't tasted it for two days, but now, the Xiaolongbao at a roadside stall is so delicious.

"That store released a new jujube-flavored soy milk. I said I would bring you a glass, but the boss said there was only the last one left." Li Ran smiled at Han Yicheng, "I couldn't hold back that glass on the way, so I gave it to you by myself." Drink it, and if you want to drink it again, you have to find another way."

"any solution."

"Let's go together next time, idiot," Li Ran flicked Han Yicheng's ears, propped up his hands, and sat down on the kitchen table, "Don't forget to wash your face and brush your teeth later, there is still gum in the corner of your eyes , sloppy to death."

Han Yicheng was a bit of a clean freak. Hearing what Li Ran said, he hurried to the bathroom to look in the mirror.As soon as he looked up, he found a small blood stain on the side of his cheek. As for the eye gum or something, it was probably a gimmick to trick him into washing his face.

Han Yicheng couldn't tell what it was like. He silently washed his face and brushed his teeth. When he came out, he found that Li Ran was watching a video with his mobile phone. He was probably watching someone else's dance, and the sound of music was coming from the mobile phone.

Seeing him coming out, Li Ran jumped off the platform and blinked: "Are you going?"

"Ah."

Han Yicheng silently observed Li Ran all the way, and found that compared to the previous few times when he witnessed himself out of control, this time Li Ran seemed very calm. He didn't know whether it was pretending or real, but it made him feel less stressed.

If it was pretending, in order to make himself feel better, Li Ran really did too much detail. Han Yicheng sat in the co-pilot, staring at the new gauze he had just put on in the morning, and began to lose his mind again.

Would someone like me like this?

He also glanced at the messy TV dramas that Qi Xin watched before, and he felt that the love between life and death was far away from him. It was not until this moment that Han Yicheng was a little bit confused. What is it like to feel the love that the society is overwhelmed and swears to death?

It is an abstraction that is difficult to describe in words, does not ask for rewards, and does not conform to the biological instinct of seeking benefits and avoiding harm, but it is difficult to extricate oneself. However, in vernacular terms, it is just a hormone, probably love.

"Over there in the dance room, is it okay?" Han Yicheng asked.

"That's it. There are still not many people. If it doesn't improve next month, I kind of want to sublet the branch first."

Han Yicheng saw Li Ran's relaxed expression, but he couldn't believe that he really didn't care as much as he does now.The smile that Li Ran excitedly cheered on the seaside of Thailand because of opening a branch store is still engraved in his mind, vividly in his memory.

"I still have some savings..." Han Yicheng took out his mobile phone while talking, but before he opened it, Li Ran stared back.

"That's not the case. It's useless for you to transfer money to me. I can't buy customers. If no one comes, it's a waste of money. If you can't continue to open it, just put it on hold. It's not like there will be no chance in the future."

Han Yicheng couldn't deny that what Li Ran said was reasonable, he lowered his head slowly, as if confessing his guilt: "I couldn't hold back in the morning, and..."

"Well, I saw it." At this time Li Ran had already driven the car near the hospital and was looking outside to find a parking space.

When Han Yicheng heard Li Ran's words, his heart felt like a big rock had fallen to the ground. He was not happy, but he finally felt at ease.Li Ran parked the car and glanced at him, "So, we are here, there is always a solution to everything."

Unlike Han Yicheng's long and narrow eyes, although Li Ran also has single eyelids, his eyes are almond-shaped.Ping looks a bit like a Korean drama oppa, with a gentle appearance, always smiling, and mostly with warm and bright eyes.

However, the look he gave Han Yicheng just now made Han Yicheng feel very firm, especially in this situation, it made people feel at ease for no reason.

The two of them came to Director Qian's consulting room again like this. It was only more than three weeks since the last visit, but their mentality had undergone subtle changes.

Director Qian probably already guessed Han Yicheng's choice, so he didn't ask any more questions, and directly conducted more tests and talked about more details.Li Ran's buttocks were numb when he was sitting outside the door, and his phone was almost out of battery, so Han Yicheng came out from inside.

"Just take the list and go to the pharmacy to pay for the medicine and take it as I said. It's best to buy a small medicine box so that you can count the days." Director Qian took off his glasses and hung them on his collar, and beckoned to Li Ran. Waving, "Let him go by himself, I'll give you a few more instructions."

"I told you most of what I told you just now. There are some side effects such as stomach pain, memory loss, and slow emotional response. They have to face it for a long time. He must not If I want to tell you in detail, I will give you a vaccination first."

Li Ran nodded and asked Director Qian to continue.

"The key is that during the initial period of taking the medicine, it is particularly sensitive, and emotional loss of control may be more frequent. I asked him whether he should be hospitalized for observation for a while, and he said no."

"Ah," Li Ran frowned all of a sudden, "Is it still necessary to be hospitalized? Is it so serious?"

"It's not serious, but it's more convenient for the patient to be hospitalized in this state. If he loses control outside and is exposed to an open public environment, it may hurt him more. But this may also be because of his past experience. I also understand the refusal to be hospitalized, and I will observe it for a while before talking, maybe there is no need to be hospitalized, I am too worried."

Li Ran was silent for a while, he didn't understand professional knowledge, so he could only say: "Director Qian has worked hard."

Director Qian smiled: "It's my job, what can I thank you for?"

"Then I... go first?"

"Well," Director Qian saw that Li Ran was about to go out, stopped him and added: "You should also pay attention to relieving your emotions, getting along with depression patients can easily lead to excessive psychological pressure, so don't be with him Stay too long and maintain your social life."

"If he is always depressed, even if you find a few more friends to accompany him in turn, don't keep resisting yourself, otherwise you will easily have problems. You can't get over this kind of time with deep feelings. You understand me mean?"

Li Ran responded, smiled gratefully at Director Qian again, and closed the door of the consulting room.