red and white roses together

"I like you."

His voice was low and firm, and the four words fell into Sheng Huai's ears without even passing on the syllables.

The impact was so great that Sheng Huai failed to understand the profound meaning hidden behind these four words for a while.

Before he calmed down, Ji Congxiao followed up again——

"So, let's not communicate anymore."

The words that were so straightforward that no one needed to think about dealt a heavy blow to Sheng Huai's stagnant thinking, broke through all the shackles, and finally started to operate again.

"Are you sure you're right?"

"No." Ji Congxiao smiled, sat up straight, and withdrew the hand on his forehead.He raised his eyes, and the affection in his eyes was clearly visible under the bright overhead light, which made people startled, "That's why I avoided you. Because we..."

"...Impossible to be together."

Ji Congxiao looked at him reluctantly for the last time, then lowered his eyes, looking at the dishes on the plate and the tea in his hand, a trace of sadness flashed in his eyes.He went on to explain:

"I wanted to find a chance to talk to you a long time ago, but the crew was too rushed and the phone was not formal enough, so I can only delay until now. I haven't contacted you for so long, not because I want this relationship to fade away like this , This is useless to you, you will get to the bottom of it and want someone who understands."

He looked up at Sheng Huai and smiled, with some pride in his voice.

Then, he looked away again, and the tone returned to the bitter plainness just now: "I'm just... I'm just afraid of having too much contact with you, so I can't make up my mind to break up with you."

"Young people's feelings can't be taken seriously, they are mostly short-lived." Sheng Huai's heart was in turmoil at the moment, and he could only grasp such a feeble sentence in the chaos.

Ji Congxiao frowned, and his eyes, which he deliberately avoided, moved back, and fell on Sheng Huai's face, motionless: "This doesn't seem like something you can say."

Sheng Huai looked up at him.

"Emotions, no matter who it happens to, no matter what age or gender, as long as they are pure and sincere, they deserve to be respected."

The calm and serious words echoed in his ears, and only then did Sheng Huai realize that what he said just now was actually hurting Ji Congxiao.No one would want their sincerity to be judged as inauthentic by the person they like, this is an insult.Insulted the man, and also insulted his love.

"Sorry." Sheng Huai frowned fiercely, wanting to say something, but in the end, there were still only two pale and barren words.He couldn't pass on his guilt at all, and it would be easy for people to think it was just perfunctory.

He looked at Ji Congxiao, the furrow between his brows deepened, and there was a rare flicker of anxiety in his usually calm eyes.

However, within sight, Ji Congxiao's expression softened, and his lips curved slightly again.It seemed that all the dissatisfaction just now was easily appeased by these two words.

"I hope it's a flash in the pan."

Even, if possible, he would rather never have such unexpected feelings for Sheng Huai.It's just that if things like feelings can really be done as one wants, then there won't be so many idiots in this world.

"Do you have to stay out? You are a very good friend."

Only now did Sheng Huai really accept the fact that Ji Congxiao liked him and planned to cut off contact with him.All the hasty and overwhelmed subconscious retentions were thrown away, and he began to return to the true nature of "Sheng Huai", and retained them in the most straightforward and honest way.

However, as soon as the words fell, he knew that this was impossible.

Just like before, when he mistakenly thought that Ji Congxiao was tempted by Du Mingjing, his first thought was to keep the child away from Du Mingjing, and use time and distance to heal his emotional wounds, so as not to see each other every day and cut his heart out every day.

But right now, apart from the different objects, what is the difference?

He couldn't trap Ji Congxiao in this cage for his own selfish desires.

You can't be so selfish, let alone...

He is still reluctant.

Looking at his expression, Ji Congxiao knew that he had already figured it out.Hanging his eyes and picking up the teacup, he smiled: "Brother Sheng, I wish you to find a sincere person as soon as possible."

"You are a bit too generous." Sheng Huai refilled himself a cup of tea.

Ji Congxiao tugged at the corner of his lips, but didn't answer.

"Thank you for taking care of me for so long."

He used the most polite words to understate the gushing emotions in his heart.

Sheng Huai bowed his head, picked up the teacup that was just added, the tea was poured a bit full, and was even with the mouth of the expanded cup.It does not conform to the ancient rule that tea can be full of wine.

It's not that Sheng Huai doesn't understand, it's just that what's in the cup right now is not just tea, but a small blue and white cup that's no bigger than a palm, and it's full of their feelings for almost a year.

"I respect your decision."

He lowered his eyes, held the tea steadily, and drank it down in one gulp.

……

As soon as Ji Congxiao walked out of the box, the smile on his face collapsed instantly.He stood at the door for a while before tiptoeing, wanting to leave.However, before the legs were raised, they stopped first.He tilted his head to look at the closed door behind him, and finally turned his gaze back. With his eyelids half closed, he raised his hand to put on the mask, covering up the obscurity in his eyes and the pale lip line that was pursed into a thin front.

With his hands in his pockets, he walked out of the restaurant door alone.The moment he left, the bitter cold wind howled in the winter night, instantly blowing the warmth he brought out from the warm room to pieces.

He stood at the door, looking into the distance.The footsteps lifted lightly, but landed in the same place.

Not sure where to go.

In the cold night, the noisy traffic, the surrounding lights are brightly lit, and there are constant laughter and laughter.He was the only one standing alone on the side of the street, as if he had opened up a small world by himself, and the hustle and bustle was thousands of miles away from him.

For a moment, it seemed to return to the winter seven or eight years ago.

At that time, he had just secretly taken the art test of Emperor Ying, but was accidentally discovered by his mother.In the constant reprimands and orders, he simply uttered all the dissatisfaction and depression of those years, tearing away the so-called peaceful and peaceful illusion of the family that his mother worked so hard to maintain, and finally left the house amidst her hysterical curses, There was no turning back.

He was only 17 years old at the time, relying on the depression and impulsiveness accumulated over the years, he completely severed ties with his family.Around the body, only an ID card and a mobile phone were allowed to leave.

He has no cash, no card, and no friends to turn to.Standing on the side of the road and being chilled by the cold wind, he realized that he had nowhere to go, not to mention a place to stay for a long time, even a shelter for the night. If he was not careful, he would be frozen. To die in the streets of this winter night.

It wasn't until then that he realized that running away from home and severing ties seemed chic and reckless, and it was indescribably joyful when he did it. However, being homeless is the reality.

It's just that it was different back then than it is now.

At that time, although he had nowhere to go, he just got rid of his family and walked along the path he wanted. Even if he was at a loss, it was just the beginning.The imperial capital is so big, there are plenty of places for him to stay.

However, right now, he is no longer the penniless boy he was back then. He has more than one property under his name, and his 22nd-floor high-end apartment is the place he chose for himself for the rest of his life.

But he didn't want to go back.

So what if you go back, it's still a cold and unpopular place.

Nowhere to go, nowhere to go.

……

The door of the restaurant was pushed open behind him, and Ji Congxiao regained his senses in the sweet "Happy New Year, welcome again" from the waiter girl. He moved his stiff fingers and took a step forward.

He still didn't know where to go, but he couldn't keep standing at the door of someone's house to block the way.Fortunately, there is only one gravel road in front of the restaurant, so there is no need to choose.

The cold wind lifted the hem of his down jacket and got in through the unclosed front, eroding the heat of his body.

However, he didn't have the slightest intention to zip it up.Just like that, he checked his pockets and walked forward slowly.Regardless of where the road is going, regardless of who is walking in front of and behind.All of a sudden, the ennui of this world rose to the extreme.

I don't want to do anything, I don't want to think about anything, I don't want to think about anything, just imagine this, there is a road, let him go on until he is tired and tired, and he can't stand up anymore.

Go all the way to the end, then follow the direction of the flow of people, buy tickets, and enter the playground.Finally, I stopped under the tall Ferris wheel.Looking up at the slowly rotating circle of light, he suddenly remembered that before sending Sheng Huai off at the airport, he said that when he came back, he would come to the playground and go to the Ferris wheel to see the lights of Wanjia that he was thinking of.

However, now that he's back, Sheng Huai is close at hand.It's just that he was the only one who entered this playground.From now on, it will only be him.

There were hurried footsteps coming from behind, Ji Congxiao paused, and subconsciously wanted to look back.

"You bastard, wait for me! Isn't it because you didn't let you eat dessert? Are you still angry? Run away while I pay the bill?!"

An unfamiliar voice came from behind him, like a basin of ice water being poured from the top of Ji Congxiao's head, returning rationally, the corners of his lips covered under the mask were slightly pulled, and a hint of ridicule was drawn out.

He was so naive as to be ridiculous, to expect Sheng Huai.

How could it be Sheng Huai?

No one knows better than him how well Sheng Huai really lives.Almost every move he makes is deliberate - not weighing gains and losses, but considering whether it is appropriate or inappropriate, should or should not be.

Just like when he was honest before, he didn't even ask himself why it was impossible to be together.Because he knew very well that even if he knew, it would be useless.Just like now, even if it is chased out, so what?

Only those who want to be together will overcome many difficulties, and only those who want to keep going will chase after them and keep them.

He didn't think Sheng Huai would fall in love with him in just ten minutes.

What's more, even if you like it, so what?

Doomed to be fruitless.

The young man walked quickly from behind, and accidentally brushed Ji Congxiao's shoulder. Ji Congxiao watched him thrust into his side, and turned his head with a brisk smile: "Sorry, buddy."

Then he poked his hand, raised his eyebrows, and opened his mouth to the man in front of Ji Congxiao, "Are you good at temper?"

"Don't blame me, it's you who said there are too many people waiting for the Ferris wheel, so you have to come and line up as soon as possible."

The voice of the person in line was cold, but the corners of his brows and eyes were filled with tenderness, and his love was obvious. They were actually a same-sex couple.

"Brother!" The young man laughed and cursed, leaned over to look at the long line, and said, "I'll go buy something to drink, you eat too little at night."

Ji Congxiao looked at the intimacy of the two, envy flashed in his eyes.

Perhaps his gaze was too straightforward, causing the person in line to look back at him.Ji Congxiao clearly saw that the man's eyes turned from initial vigilance to hesitation the moment he saw him.

Ji Congxiao originally thought he was recognized, but the man only glanced at him before turning back.After a while, as if waiting was too boring, I took out my phone.

Not long after, the young man came back with hot drinks, a cup of milk tea for his lover, a cup of coffee for himself, and the last cup of hot cocoa was delivered to him.

Ji Congxiao looked up at him.

"I bumped into you just now, as an apology. Drink something hot to keep you warm in winter."

Ji Congxiao is vigilant in this regard, and hardly accepts things from strangers.However, the man in front of him smiled too warmly, and his whole body was filled with a peaceful atmosphere, which made him think of Sheng Huai involuntarily.

Subconsciously raised his hand to take it: "Thank you."

"Did you come here by yourself? It's no fun to play on the playground alone..." The young man with a warm smile is a chatterbox, and he chatted with him in a familiar way. affect his enthusiasm.The long procession moved slowly. During this period, the man told him about the beautiful rivers and mountains he saw on the journey, told many tragic but hopeful stories he heard along the way, and even told him about the beautiful scenery on the big terrace of his house. Planted full of flowers and plants... But his lover didn't stop him, and occasionally inserted a sentence or two to correct his memory mistakes.

It wasn't until they were in line that they stopped talking.

The two checked the tickets, and when entering the cabin, the young man turned his head and smiled at Ji Congxiao who was waiting behind them.

"Life is difficult. Sometimes we always feel that this time we may not be able to overcome it, but in fact, when the time passes and you look back, you will find that there is nothing difficult to overcome."

"When you are in a bad mood, you can find some disaster movie documentaries and watch, you will have unexpected gains." His lover added.

Ji Congxiao stared blankly at the slowly rising cabin, and suddenly curled the corners of his lips.

So so much rambling, is it just because they realize that their state is not right?

He got into the cabin, opened the untouched hot cocoa and took a sip.The slightly sweet taste slightly dilutes the bitterness in my heart.

He raised his head, leaned on the seat in a daze, and suddenly pulled the corners of his lips.

Is there anything you can't do?

So what if this thing is not a temporary thing, but a lifetime?Unless life is terminated, otherwise, how can we get by?

As the Ferris wheel rose slowly, the buildings on the ground became smaller, and the silhouettes of people could not be seen clearly.The entire playground is at your feet, and then passing by a dark and lightless mountain, there is light gradually coming into view, the car lights and neon lights are intertwined, and the lights of thousands of houses are bright.The bustling city night scene is unobstructed.

Even Ji Congxiao has never seen such a night.

Although he knew that the scenery here was superb, he never thought of going up to have a look.He is a coward, never daring to look at the lights of thousands of houses alone, because what he sees alone is always loneliness.

He also tried to find someone to accompany him, but cronies are only suitable for hustle and bustle, rumored girlfriends are too ambiguous, not to mention, such things are too intimate, they have already touched his heart, and after thinking about it, they are just one Qiao's translation is appropriate.

But Qiao Yi was afraid of heights, so naturally he couldn't accompany her.

So he delayed like this until he got to know Sheng Huai.

I thought I could really have someone to accompany me this time, but who knew, in the end, I was still savoring this boundless loneliness alone.

And the person who was able to accompany him in the past has nothing to do with him since then, and the meeting is also a stranger.

The tenderness and consideration that once belonged to him will eventually be taken back.There will be another person who will appear, let Sheng Huai take it to heart, accommodate and cherish him.Sheng Huai would smile at him, hold his hand, hug him, kiss him, tell him love words that he had never heard before, take care of him meticulously, and be with him forever...

Those that once belonged to him and did not belong to him will be occupied by another person, and he can only watch them from a distance, watching them be happy and happy, watching the traces he left behind, gradually fading away until perish.Then, Sheng Huai would never remember that there was such a person who tried to love him.

Covering your face with your hands, the water spreads between your fingers.

The ferris wheel has risen to the highest point, above his head, the stars are twinkling, and behind him, the lights are shining brightly.Not far away, fireworks exploded, the people on the ground were cheering, and the couple in the previous cabin were kissing tenderly. Only he, amidst the flickering lights and shadows, was crying silently.

……

Letting go, at least let Ji Congxiao wake up from the confusion just now.

When we walked out of the Ferris wheel, there were very few people waiting around.It was almost early morning, and most people crowded to the central fountain to count down.

He put on the mask again, not in the mood to join in the fun, turned and left.

The road was unimpeded, there were not many people, and even the driveway was empty.He lowered his eyes, walked forward, and suddenly stopped, as if feeling something in his heart, he turned around and looked at the car and that person parked under the shadow of the tree.

The countdown to the New Year's Eve is loud, the ancient bells are ringing, the sky is full of gorgeous fireworks, and the whole night sky is lit up, as bright as day.

Ji Congxiao clearly saw the clear eyebrows and eyes of the man under the sky full of fireworks, which was his appearance hidden deep in his heart.

Sheng Huai felt sour when he looked at those eyes that had not yet faded from the red marks.

He tilted his head towards the car: "I'll take you back."

……

They were silent all the way, even more silent than when they first met.

The black SUV stopped at the bottom of the building, the car was turned off, and there were no lights in the car.There was only a little bit of light from the dim street lamps on the side of the road through the car windows.

Neither of them spoke, nor moved.

Ji Congxiao sat in the co-pilot, waiting for Sheng Huai to speak.He knew that he had something to say.

"Will you come back when you don't like me anymore?" Sheng Huai asked in a low voice.He didn't know why he asked this question, he only knew that for this answer, he was willing to wait for more than an hour in the cold wind outside the playground.

There was a silence in the carriage, only the faint breathing of the two could be heard faintly.

"Sheng Huai." Ji Congxiao was silent for a long time, calling him a name in a low voice, "You should know, I love you."

Because of deep love, there may not be a day when you no longer like it.Even if there is, it may not be guaranteed that that relationship will not resurface.

After hearing what he meant, Sheng Huai leaned against the backrest and closed his eyes weakly.Let You Ji Congxiao unbuckle his seat belt and get out of the car, and finally disappears from sight.

The author has something to say:

ps: The wrong estimate of the length and the chapter division error, so this chapter is a bit long.There are no two paragraphs, and they are all put up.

pps: The worst part is over, I promise.

ppps: In the past two days, I have been rushing and rushing, and I finally finished this episode. I dare not be too slow, lest you miss orz too much, so I have to make up for the homework left in the past two days, so the next chapter should be ≥ three days later, Chirp you guys.