Home Notes

Before he came back, Li Shangshui called his grandma and said that he would be home this afternoon. It stands to reason that grandma would not be home, and she might be busy somewhere else.He moved his luggage into the house, and searched in the kitchen, the main room and the two bedrooms in turn, but there was no one there, but he could smell the smell of meat in the kitchen, thinking that grandma had stewed it for him in advance.

Li Shangshui found the cotton shoes he often wears in winter in his grandma's bedroom and changed them on. He tidied up his luggage, took out the cotton clothes and socks he bought for grandma, and some tonics for the elderly, and put on the cotton shoes he usually wears at home. Find grandma in the vegetable field behind the house.

Sure enough, the grandma in a blue cotton padded jacket was bending over to dig coriander in the vegetable garden.I haven't seen each other for half a year, and my grandma seems to be getting old again. The white hair that was already scarce has become even more sparse, and it is tied into a small bun on the back of her head by grandma. hair.

Li Shangshui felt sour, thinking that it would take him a few more years to completely reassure grandma, so that grandma could live a good life, but, grandma, can she wait?

Grandma turned her head to look in Li Shangshui's direction as if she had a heartbeat. Li Shangshui noticed it, wiped his eyes quickly, put on a smiling face, and said in a slightly complaining tone: "Grandma, I'm back! You're busy here again, isn't it okay?" Shall I get it when I get home?"

Grandma straightened up, with a smile on her wrinkled face, and called, "Shang Shui, are you back?"

Li Shangshui stepped forward to hug her—he was already much taller than grandma—seeing that there was a layer of mist in her cloudy and deep-set eyes, he felt even more uncomfortable in his heart.He took the shovel in grandma's hand and said, "I'll do it, you can rest for a while."

Although he hates the backwaters and backwardness here, Li Shangshui is very familiar with the one-acre and three-point land at home. He picked up these farm tools again after half a year. After all, such days will only get worse. few.

Li Shangshui became chatty in front of his grandmother, talking about his college life, his classmates, those who helped him, and everything he saw in the city that made him feel surprised and humbled.He didn't intend to stop until dinner was ready, and it wasn't until then that he suddenly realized that his life was actually quite rich.

Grandma kept laughing and listening to those things that she had never been in contact with in her life. Many things she couldn't understand, but she was the only one who could understand that Li Shangshui had a hard life in the city, and she was very distressed.

"Shangshui, family members are useless and can't help you. You can only rely on yourself to prosper, but don't be too tired. You have to remember that you are only poor, but people are poor and ambitious. Don't feel that you are worse than others, ah ?" Grandma repeated this sentence again and again, and she can only express her support for Li Shangshui in this way.

Li Shangshui smiled and nodded emphatically.

After putting the dishes on the table, Li Shangshui asked what he had wanted to ask since he entered the house: "Is he not coming back for dinner tonight?"

This "he" is naturally Li Shangshui's father, Li Ligui.

Grandma filled two bowls of rice and said, "I haven't come back since noon. I don't care about him. Let's eat. I'm sure I'll eat at another drinking friend's house."

Li Shangshui was silent, just nodded, it would be better if he didn't come back, so as not to be annoyed by him.He picked up a piece of chicken and said, "It's delicious." The chicken, duck and pigs at home were hand-fed by grandma. The taste is naturally much better than the wholesale meat outside, but the taste is a bit salty.

Grandma's face was full of smiles, and she was busy picking other dishes for him, and watched him eat with a look of comfort.

Li Shangshui's mouth was full of rice, and he wanted to cry because of the food, but he didn't dare to say it, and just ate desperately.After the meal, Li Shangshui cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks. Grandma sat by the firepit and looked at him, and suddenly said, "When Shangshui marries a wife and has a baby, I will be relieved."

Li Shangshui was so frightened that the bowl in his hand slipped and almost fell. Just as he was about to say that he should focus on his studies first, Li Ligui's voice came from outside the door: "I heard that our college students have returned home?"

Li Shangshui's face turned cold in an instant. He still couldn't forgive him after not seeing that person for half a year.He pretended not to hear, put the bowls and chopsticks into the cupboard, and wiped the stove and dining table with a rag.Grandma just looked at him in silence, with a worried look on her face.

Li Ligui clearly heard someone joking outside just now, but when he said something, he was ignored, his wild nature was immediately exposed after drinking, he pushed the door and went in and said loudly: "Hey, our college students still have a temper, Don’t recognize your father and father so soon?”

Li Shangshui glanced at him, and saw that Li Ligui was wearing a padded jacket whose color could not be seen clearly, with his left hand in his pocket, his right hand scratching his messy hair, his nose was red, and his eyes were staring at Li Shangshui. Those who didn't know how old they were hate.When Li Shangshui saw his description, a deep disgust and powerlessness arose spontaneously. He suddenly thought of Ren Yang, and wanted Ren Yang to see his father's face, and asked him: "This is the person who gave me life." , would you still like a child with this kind of life?"

He sighed in his heart, lowered his eyelashes, and whispered, "Dad..."

The gene of this alcoholic runs in his blood, this is something he cannot escape and forget, and it is also his fate.

Li Ligui couldn't help but feel complacent when he saw that he was subdued, thinking that even if you are a bachelor, you still have to obey Lao Tzu, don't you?Going forward, Da Lala moved a chair to sit by the firepit, reached into his arms and took out the red plum smoke, took out one and lit it close to the fire, took a deep breath, then exhaled a big mouthful of smoke, sighed : "College student, you can be regarded as proud of our family. How dare you look down on me when you look at those bastards? Why should you be allowed to go out to work early? , isn’t my son still studying in a prestigious university? Those grandchildren are so envious!”

Li Shangshui didn't want to hear his nonsense here. If he hadn't insisted on it with the school teacher, how could he have the chance to go to school?He had no intention of arguing with his father, and left the kitchen on the pretext of making the bed.Before closing the door, he heard his grandma whisper, "Can't you speak nicely just after the child comes back?"

Li Ligui: "I am his father, I can do whatever I want, and it depends on his face?"

Li Shangshui shook his head and didn't listen to what grandma said.

He has lived in this family for 18 years. In his memory, his father has never spoken softly to him, and now he no longer expects it, and tries to turn a deaf ear to it.But even if he erected iron walls around him, his father's loud curses would still hit the wall, causing aftershocks, and he could still hear them.

There are only two bedrooms, one for grandma and one for father.When Li Shangying was still at home when she was a child, Li Shangying shared a bed with her grandma, and he would share a bed with them in winter and sleep on the floor in summer.When he grows up a bit and knows the difference between men and women, he still doesn't want to sleep in his father's bedroom. He would rather make do with a bamboo bed made of bamboo sticks and two high stools in the kitchen. Put the bed away during the day and put it up at night. So it has been nearly ten years.

Li Shangying later went out to work and rarely returned home, so he moved the bed to his grandmother's house.Until now, he still likes and is used to sharing a bedroom with his grandma.

After making the bed, Li Shangshui lay on his back, looking at the dark roof and thinking about something.The quilt was dried by grandma, exuding the smell of sunshine, soft and pleasant smell, which reminded him of Ren Yang.Ren Yang said that he likes himself and wants to come here to have a look, but if he really comes, his fantasy will definitely be shattered, right?If, just if, if Ren Yang doesn't dislike it, trying to accept Ren Yang doesn't seem to be a very difficult thing.However, love has a shelf life, and the freshness of the moment does not mean that it can last forever.If he can't be consistent, he would rather endure loneliness than try the pain of gaining and losing.

He suddenly wanted to ask Ren Yang how he viewed love.But when I turned on the phone, I found that the signal in this valley was extremely weak. I tried to send a message, but there was a small circle that kept spinning before the message. It was obviously too difficult to send.Li Shangshui tried to send another text message to Ren Yang: "The signal at home is not good, so I can't access WeChat, sorry." After waiting for a while, the text message was sent.

He sighed, dropped his phone, took a book, and planned to go to the kitchen to read while warming himself by the fire.When I went to the kitchen, Li Ligui was not there, only grandma was sitting by the fire in a daze.Li Shangshui soaked a cup of honey, handed it to grandma, and said, "The owner of the restaurant where I worked gave it to me. It is said that his friend brewed the honey himself. He gave me a small jar, and I brought it back."

Before Li Shangshui left, the restaurant owner gave him an extra 500 yuan as lucky money and a year-end bonus, and also gave him this bottle of honey. He thought it didn't matter if he drank it or not, so he took it home.

Grandma took a sip: "Did you thank me?"

"Thanks, and I didn't take money from him for tutoring his daughter. Grandma, I made a lot of money this year. I earned the tuition loan and living expenses myself, so you don't have to give me the money next semester." Li Shangshui picked up the firewood. , and asked: "What about others?"

"It's because I'm dizzy from drinking and go to bed first," grandma held the cup and looked at him softly: "Shang Shui, don't talk back to your father. He has drank less in the past six months, and he has been working too hard." Work harder than before. Although he didn’t say anything, I know he’s raising tuition for you. Of course I’m happy that you can do it yourself and don’t ask him for money, but the money I gave you was also given to me by him… ..."

"Okay, I got it, grandma, wash up and go to bed first if you have nothing to do." It's not that he was rude, it's just that grandma has said these words countless times.Even though Li Ligui had all sorts of faults, he was also grandma's son, and grandma who came from the old society still couldn't help but tolerate him.

But grandma didn't say enough: "Grandma is useless because she couldn't find a good mother for you. Now your sister doesn't come home, and you have to go to school and work all by yourself. I don't know how much you have suffered." ,I want……"

Li Shangshui was helpless: "Grandma! I don't know if my sister is suffering or not, but I really don't. There are many classmates and friends who care about me, and two parents will invite me to teach their children next year. I met They are all good people, and they are really not as you imagined. Grandma, what you have to do now is not to think about it, don't do so much hard work, and just take care of your body. Really, I really don't need you to worry about it. "

Grandma looked at Li Shangshui dully, nodded, and said, "That's good, that's good. As long as I can see that you are doing well, I can die at ease."

Li Shangshui pretended to be angry and said, "Grandma, you are talking nonsense again!"

"Hehe, I'm old, it's useless, the loess is half buried, what else can I say?" Grandma smiled, but she took life and death lightly: "I'll go to wash and sleep, and you should go to bed early, don't stay up late , It’s so cold, don’t forget to add firewood when the fire is gone.”

"Well, I remember."

Li Shangshui couldn't hear grandma say "death", the more she said it nonchalantly, the more Li Shangshui felt that grandma was not far away, which made him startled.He stared at the jumping flames, froze for a while before shaking his head and focusing on the book in his hand.

It wasn't until the firewood burned out that he felt cold, so he put down his book and fetched water to wash.After entering the bedroom in the dark, he saw the breathing light on his mobile phone blinking. Li Shangshui was overjoyed, and rushed to open it to see that it was Ren Yang.

He said: "Well, I miss you, keep in touch with text messages."