Find him in the crowd

Xiang Sixi was in the school library when An Mingye called, and the number of people in the library during the summer vacation was more than half less than usual.Xiang Sixi told An Mingye on the phone in the lobby window that he was going abroad.Si Xi was used to this, so she responded to the other party in a low voice, and asked by the way, "How long will you be back this time?"

"Maybe... I won't come back. You take care of yourself." The other end hung up after finishing speaking.

Xiang Sixi listened to the beeping... sound on the phone for a while before realizing the meaning of "not coming back"?He called several times, but he still couldn't get through, and then he suddenly understood the meaning of "not coming back".

All this happened inexplicably, but he had no time to care about it.He ran all the way to the school gate without even taking his books, and hailed a taxi extravagantly for the first time. He kept calling An Mingye in the car, and the hand holding the phone trembled uncontrollably.No one answered the phone all the time, and the ticking of the hands of the watch matched the "beep" sound waiting on the phone, one fast and one slow, making the listeners even more tormented.At that time, An Mingye gave him a birthday present, and they were still celebrating their birthday together the day before yesterday, why did they suddenly "not come back" today.

He felt that this was probably An Mingye's joke, such a bad joke, but he didn't care about getting angry at all, instead he was thinking about how to forgive An Mingye for a while.

He touched the doorbell and put it down anxiously, took out the key from his trouser pocket, and opened the door after a while.

"An Mingye." There was a tear in his voice, and he didn't dare to say it a second time.He just carefully searched every corner of the apartment, as if An Mingye would hide in the closet or under the bed.He picked up the phone again and called An Mingye over and over again. He didn't know how many times it rang, but finally got connected!

"Mingye." A sigh came from the other end of the phone. "Speak, where are you?"

"Have you gone back?" After a while, An Mingye responded in a hoarse voice, "Well, I just came back. What about you, when will you come back, what do you want to eat tonight? I'll make it for you." Xiang Sixi's voice was the same as usual Calm, as if nothing happened just now.

"If you go back, there is a bank card left for you in the change drawer at the entrance, which should be enough for you to graduate. The apartment is also left for you."

Xiang Sixi asked him angrily, "What do you mean?"

An Mingye was neither sad nor happy, "We broke up, Sixi."

Xiang Sixi "Oh! This is considered a breakup? What do you think of me! I don't agree! I won't break up."

"Sixi, it's enough for one party to agree to break up."

An Mingye's deep and slightly hoarse voice was extremely gentle, but every word was hidden when he spoke it.Tears flowed down his chin and into his chest, and was blown by the air-conditioning in the apartment, which was icy cold.

Xiang Sixi begged, "Why, what did I do wrong, can I correct it?"

"Don't be so sassy."

"Why... you tell me."

"I'm sorry Sixi, my family arranged a marriage for me."

The word "marriage" sent Xiang Sixi into the [-]th hell in an instant.It shattered his crystal clear castle, and the hot July sun was clearly outside the window, and he couldn't feel any warmth when he pressed against the glass.

Yeah, they're all going to get married eventually, and two men can't get married.

He suddenly remembered that autumn morning, when he realized that he liked An Mingye, his heart palpitations and emotions, for his love, for his lover, was the treasure he searched all over the world and held in the palm of his hand, he Just looking forward to cheering, but forgetting that the love between two men is not allowed by this world.

"Is that why you broke up?"

"Um……"

This reason was so sufficient that Xiang Sixi was speechless, she was silent for a long time, and hung up the phone with a gritted teeth.

outside the airport.

An Mingye listened to the blind tone coming from the mobile phone, rubbed his toes on the cigarette butts on the ground, took out the last cigarette, and lit it.

An Mingye was a child who reassured his parents since he was a child.Their family has a big business, and An Mingye is the only child. No mistakes are allowed in his growth. He understands the bottom line of his parents very well. As long as the bottom line is not touched, his parents will not interfere with him too much.So he knew from an early age when to learn, when to play, who to play with when playing, and who to study with when studying. Only in this way can he strive for as much freedom as possible for himself.

The marriage was arranged for him before the family returned to China. The woman's family is also a respectable family in the local Chinese circle. He can't be too out of line and embarrass the two families.

Xiang Sixi is very good, a poor student with no background, so he won't cause any trouble, and he can get rid of it with a little more money.

The family urged several times for the marriage, and he pushed it several times. He skillfully explored the bottom line of his parents and fixed the wedding date before the critical point.When he woke up in the morning, he was still hugging Xiang Sixi, the morning sun shone on his face, brushed from the brow bone to the bridge of the nose to his lips, and with a light peck, his troubles disappeared, and there was no way he could say goodbye.

An Mingye leaned against the wall, closed his eyes, and imagined Xiang Sixi on the other end of the phone.His eyes must have been red from crying, his face was stained with tears and a few strands of broken hair, his mouth was tightly pursed and he refused to cry out, his eyes were aggrieved...

This wasn't the first time he broke up with his lover, but it was the first time he was in such a mess, and even ran away in despair.

"Sir." The assistant interrupted An Mingye, "Sir, we should go."

An Mingye: "Do you have any cigarettes?"

The assistant took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it for him.

An Mingye handed over the phone, "This number will no longer be used, please log it out for me."

The assistant took "Okay."

The setting sun dyed the room fiery red through the floor-to-ceiling glass, and stretched his shadow long, making the room look empty. The air-conditioning in the apartment overcame the last residual heat of the setting sun, and it felt a bit cold after staying for a long time.

Xiang Sixi sat on the coffee table in the living room, and after hanging up the phone, he remained in a daze, returning from noon to evening.

The brain uncontrollably recalled the past, scene after scene was like a movie, hated him for a while and gritted his teeth with hatred, and felt sorry for him and forgave him for a while.In the end, there is no result whether to hate or forgive.

That man seems to have always been gentle and polite. He never loses his temper. Even if he gets angry, he doesn't make a scene or make a scene. He always answers his questions patiently and responds enthusiastically to his confession. , But looking back now, those responses were all ambiguous.Don't say love or not, don't say you want or don't want to, for the confession when you are emotional, he will end with a happy love. He once thought it was a response, but now it seems that it is all perfunctory.

That person has always been like this, seemingly gentle and polite, but in fact he is thousands of miles away.

In fact, Xiang Sixi has always been aware of it, so he wants to have more ties with An Mingye, so he doesn't want to get too involved with him financially, for fear that it will make him a head shorter, become his handle, and lose the initiative , but he couldn't do it, so it was too late...

No more courage to call An Mingye, the phone was thrown on the ground, he was a little dazed, but still couldn't accept it.

So we broke up...

he went to get married...

what about me.

With his head buried between his knees, trembling all over, weeping bitterly,

The novel sent to the magazine last month was published. Before he could share the joy with An Mingye, he had already quickened his pace and worked so hard. He had naively thought that as long as he worked hard to catch up with An Mingye, he would be able to get along with An Mingye. He holds hands together.

The afterglow is fading, and the room is pitch black, only the street lamp outside the window is willing to give a little light here.Xiang Sixi was sitting on the ground leaning against the floor-to-ceiling windows, and he could see the study on the second floor when he raised his eyes. If An Mingye was still there, he should be sitting there right now, and he could see him working hard when he looked up.

Xiang Sixi leaned against the window and stared at the closed door in a daze, tired of staring, fell asleep on the spot.

The sunset from the floor-to-ceiling glass was replaced by morning light, Xiang Sixi rubbed her red and swollen eyes and woke up from the ground.With shoulders and hips that were sore by the floor, I propped myself up against the glass and waited for the numbness in my legs to pass away a little bit, while the air-conditioning was still blowing.The apartment was empty, and if there was no one person, there would be no life in an instant. The mobile phone was left on the corner of the table, and the water glass on the coffee table was knocked over at some point.He dialed An Mingye's number again, and the blind voice on the other end of the phone was replaced by a mechanical female voice reminding him, "The number you dialed is empty."

He finally accepted the fact that An Mingye had left.

Leaning against the window for a while, I got up to wash up.

He is leaving here.

In the corner of the closet, he found the woven bag brought out from home. The clothes inside were packed by his mother when he left home.There are clothes donated by others that cannot be bought in the mountains, and there are "fashionable styles" that his mother bought for him in the town. They are only worn during the festivals, but now he looks at these clothes. With his forehead down, he really didn't have the courage to wear these dirty and ugly clothes on his body.

The computer that An Mingye gave him was very expensive, and even the accessories were expensive when it was repaired.The clothes An Mingye gave him were all expensive luxury brands, and he would be powerless to buy similar ones by himself in the future.An Mingye took him to this world that didn't belong to him. He just got used to it, but the other party slapped his ass and left, leaving him alone in circles. Not knowing what to do, he held the gift left by An Mingye, Like a treasure, but also like a ****, but he refused to let go, at that moment he hated An Mingye to the core.

While spit on herself, Xiang Sixi took a few changes of clothes and packed them into the box resignedly.Except for some necessities, I tried not to bring anything else I could take, and I took off my watch and put it in the drawer beside the bed.After hesitating for a moment, he took the half-used bottle of perfume with him.

The bank card and room key left by An Mingye had to be taken with him. After all, they were valuables. He didn’t plan to come back in the future. If he lost them, he wouldn’t be able to explain clearly, and he thought it would be okay if he met An Mingye someday. Give it to him—you still have to have some backbone.

Before leaving, he cleaned the apartment inside and out, drew down the curtains, cut off the water and electricity, and closed the door.When I went downstairs, I threw the rustic woven bag at the recycling point, dragged the box for two steps, and then turned back to pick up the bag.

Xiang Sixi moved back to the dormitory. The dormitory is a four-person room with a bed on top and a desk on the bottom. Because of the summer vacation, all the roommates should have gone home. Xiang Sixi’s bed is still the one issued when the school started, rolled up and piled up at the end of the bed. , the bed and desk, including the cabinet, have become the roommate's utility room.Just as they were tidying up, someone came, and the two looked at each other in blank dismay for a while.

It should not be an outsider who can open the door with the key.

"Hello, my name is Xiang Sixi, and I will move to the dormitory in the future." Xiang Sixi pointed to his bed, "It is being tidied up."

"Oh! I, Li Chaozhe, also live in this dormitory. You didn't live on campus before, I haven't realized it yet." The roommate helped him move down the piled sundries. "I didn't expect the school grass to share the dormitory with me."

Xiang Sixi was too embarrassed to hear others call him "what kind of school grass, but everyone called him for fun."

Li Chaozhe joked, "In the future, I probably won't be able to run away as a messenger. By the way, why do you suddenly think of moving back to the dormitory? I have no other intentions. It's just that the dormitory turns off the lights at eleven o'clock. It's more convenient to live at home."

Xiang Sixi made up a lie, "I used to live with a relative, but he is getting married recently, so it's not convenient."

"Oh, that's really inconvenient." Li Chaozhe pointed to the empty bed and said, "This one's called Fengqi, that one's called that one's called Song Qiming. They both went home. I was working here during the summer vacation, so I didn't go back."

Xiang Sixi is not used to getting along with roommates, but the roommates are very enthusiastic, helping him make the bed and cleaning, telling him where to get hot water, who in the back street of the school has better and cheaper food than the cafeteria, And how to use high-power electrical appliances in the dormitory without being found, etc... It is indeed inconvenient, but Xiang Sixi thinks this kind of life is quite interesting, but he can no longer think of spending time in the library as before , started a summer job with Li Chaozhe.The summer jobs for college students are nothing fancy. They can make money and are not very tiring. They just hand out leaflets and do promotions. However, this kind of work is temporary, and there is no tomorrow.Li Chaozhe has a group, and every day there are recruitments for various promotional activities, but Xiang Sixi will be counted as any quota that can be grabbed.I can earn some money after a summer vacation, plus the manuscript fee, it is not a problem to support myself.

No, without An Mingye, he still lived well.

Li Chaozhe is warm-hearted and righteous, carefree and easy to get along with, but unfortunately he loves gossip.He always likes to ask Xiang Sixi about some "secrets of wealthy families" when he has nothing to do, which makes Xiang Sixi quite a headache. He really doesn't have any gossip about wealthy families to satisfy Li Chaozhe's curiosity, so he can do whatever he can.And if this kind of question is asked too much, Xiang Sixi is afraid that the other party will notice something and make him the headline of the forum.Therefore, Xiang Sixi always avoids talking about his "rich relative", and when it is unavoidable, he puts aside "We are far away, and he is not familiar with his family. He just has no way to refuse his family's request. Just take care of me. It's not what you think."

But thinking about it carefully, apart from knowing that his parents and family members are abroad and he is only here to manage some domestic business, Xiang Sixi finds that he really knows very little about An Mingye.Everything about him is illusory except himself.So he never thought about how An Mingye's parents would view their relationship, nor did he think that An Mingye would get married. In fact, the gap between them is worlds apart. On the contrary, the time they dated was unreal. .

As the school term approaches, the school gradually becomes lively.The other two people in the dormitory also came back at this time.Feng Qi is tall and thin, with one eye, and looks gentle and easy to speak.Song Qiming is more like a child, he should have been raised by his family in the palm of his hand, he doesn't care much about other people's feelings when he speaks and does things, but he doesn't have any evil intentions, just forget about it.Xiang Sixi had experienced the lesson twice and was forced to get used to it.Feng Qi and Song Qiming are both locals, and Li Chaozhe's family lives in the next provincial capital city, so Xiang Sixi is not used to mixing in it.

In fact, the school dormitory is divided into grades, double rooms are the best, followed by quadruple rooms, and then eight-person rooms.A quadruple room means air-conditioning, a private bathroom, a washing machine, and a balcony. People with a decent family background will choose a quadruple room.An Mingye didn't think that Xiang Sixi would live in the school at that time, so he randomly chose a middle standard, but Xiang Sixi felt guilty.

He has only recently realized that he is actually quite vain. In fact, he doesn't know much about the life and entertainment of young people in the city, so he dare not communicate too much, for fear of revealing some false information and becoming a topic for others, which will cause his life to be out of touch with his roommates.For example, when Xiang Sixi found out that it would cost money to play games, she had no choice but to politely decline the invitations of her roommates.For example, when other classmates asked him to go to KTV together, he could only find reasons to refuse.His parents cannot provide him with basic living expenses, and he has to rely on himself for every meal here, with no pocket money for entertainment.

At the beginning of the new semester, the school forum became lively again because of Xiang Sixi. This mysterious school girl seemed to be stepping down from the altar to dig out more information.However, Xiang Sixi refused the social activities of his classmates because of financial constraints, and accidentally made him, a "mysterious and cold" character, stand up again.Some people also inquired about Xiang Sixi from his roommates. Li Chaozhe remembered that the three of them were playing games, and Xiang Sixi silently drafted aside, so he could only reveal something about "he published in XX magazine." Novel" This kind of thing that increases the halo.

He knows that these attentions come from inexplicable and impure motives, but it is undeniable that these attentions have brought him an unprecedented sense of superiority. He knows that he cannot satisfy these attentions, but he is unwilling to give up. Maintenance, this kind of contradiction prevents him from facing it positively.In order to protect himself, he can only passively keep a distance from his classmates and roommates, and because of this distance by accident, he maintains others' attention to him.Although crumbling.

Humans are social animals after all, no matter how quiet people are, they probably don't like to be alone and lonely, and Xiang Sixi is no exception.So he tries his best to participate in some free social activities, such as playing ball with his classmates, swimming in the school gym, or participating in some class activities, etc. He is still very active.

After the military training for new students is over, various clubs in the school begin to recruit new students once a year, which is commonly known as the "Hundred Regiment War".Both sides of the road from the teaching building to the dormitory building are filled with the propaganda of various associations, and it looks very lively. Song Qiming is in the animation club, and it is rare to see him have any activities, but he has a lot of comics, hand-made and so on. It burns a lot of money.Feng Qi's club is Film and TV Appreciation. It is said that it is a very popular club. The number of new recruits is limited every year. They often gather in the school's screening room to watch movies and then write film reviews.Li Chaozhe didn't join any clubs, and devoted his free time to part-time jobs, maintaining his game account so that he could hook up with more girls in the game.

Xiang Sixi wants to join the literature club, is good at it, and likes it.It's just that that day, seeing the man playing the piano amidst the noise was too charming.He seemed to be in another world, and the people around him had nothing to do with him.

"Student, are you interested in joining the Guqin Club?"