[Pride and Prejudice] Becoming Katherine Bennett

After breakfast the next day, Elizabeth and Aunt Gardner took a walk on the path in the backyard of the house.Land prices in London are high, and with Mr. Gardner's financial resources, he can't afford a spacious and luxurious manor house.The yard of their house was not big, and the path soon came to an end.

Elizabeth walked up and down the path.She was concerned about her sister, so whenever she passed by Catherine's bedroom, she couldn't help but look up there.

After watching it a few times, Aunt Gardner asked her curiously, "What's the matter, Lizzie, why do you keep looking up? Is there anything new in the sky?"

Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, and said worriedly: "When she came back from the salon yesterday, Catherine looked very bad. Although she tried her best to pretend that she was fine, her expression could not deceive anyone. The expression on her face revealed everywhere She is unhappy. But she is a character who doesn't like to talk. I asked her what's wrong, but she refused to tell the truth, and she just said it's okay. Hey! I didn't pursue it at the time. I should be superstitious. I hope she It's just that I'm a little upset about something in the salon."

"What happened at the salon? Aren't you invited by the countess? What's going on?"

When they got home yesterday, they were all tired and sleepy, and they didn't bother to tell their aunt what happened that day.At this time, Elizabeth told Mrs. Gardner the whole story, especially the details of how the arrogant and domineering strange noble lady was extremely embarrassed by Catherine.

Aunt Gardner was stunned, and it took a long time to come back to her senses: "This is really! Oh, I really don't know how to describe it, but there is no doubt about one thing, Kitty is so handsome! The countess seems to like Kitty very much." Dee, she's backing her up."

Elizabeth agrees with her aunt.

Aunt Gardner added: "But I'm curious. According to what you said, you don't know her before. Why did that damned lady target Catherine?"

Elizabeth told her about Alma's guesses.Alma's original words are as follows: "Although I don't have much contact with Mr. Gordon, I know that he has always been the dream lover of many girls. Many women like his type and love him to death. He The evaluation among women has always been very good, because he cleans himself and has never had any bad rumors, so the ladies love him even more. After all, rich and handsome gentlemen are rare, and those who don't mess around are even rarer. But he's always been cold to them, and he's never heard of a lady. So I guess Miss Crane must be jealous of Catherine, no doubt about it."

Jane and Elizabeth couldn't think of a more suitable answer for a while, so they took this reason as an explanation for the time being.However, this is even more confusing.Their lives have always been simple and simple, and they really can't figure out why some people can be so bad, just because she can't get the response from the person she loves, she spreads her anger on others.

Aunt Gardner's focus is on the other hand: "If this is the case, then Kitty is too wronged. But according to what you said, Kitty didn't suffer at all, so there is no need to feel sad. You just said that you left The countess then personally escorted you to the carriage, and assured you that Miss Crane's family would not retaliate. Kitty has won a great victory, and she has no reason to be sad."

"This is also the reason why I can't figure it out. According to her personality, this is actually not a big deal, and it will disappear in a short time. But this time I was surprised. I observed it carefully during the meal just now. After a night of After adjusting, she is still depressed, and her mental state is completely different from before. Kitty is a person who is very good at hiding her thoughts. If she can't control her mood and puts her worries on her face, then she must have encountered a big problem. and that's why I'm worried."

After listening to Elizabeth's analysis, Aunt Gardner also became a little worried.

After that, they kept looking at Catherine calmly, and the result of their observation intensified their thinking.Elizabeth found that Catherine was indeed preoccupied and depressed.

After returning from the salon, she stayed in the bedroom almost all day long, and she lowered her head when she came down to eat, and rarely communicated with them actively, and went back to the bedroom after a few quick bites.If you ask her, she will be prevaricated with an excuse like "to concentrate on writing", but she has never been so "busy" before.

A worried look appeared on the faces of Elizabeth and Aunt Gardner.

Catherine didn't know that her abnormality had attracted the attention of her family.If it was in the past, she would definitely pay attention to covering up her emotions so as not to let her family see the clues.

But this time...

Catherine went back to the bedroom and closed the door softly.She leaned her back against the wooden door, her eyes staring blankly, and after a long time, she walked towards her bed.

Catherine's steps were heavy and slow, far from her usual lightness and cheerfulness.

She stood in front of the bed and let herself fall on the bed. Her body felt weightless in the air for a few tenths of a second.Her eyes looked straight up, but she didn't look at anything. There was a blur of white in her vision, and everything was so dim that it was difficult to see clearly.

On the desk not far away, quill pens and ironed letter paper were neatly arranged, still at the angle she had placed before leaving for the salon.She hasn't written a word for several days.

This is abnormal.

Ever since she decided to use writing to fight for a new life for herself after time travel, Catherine has always been full of fighting spirit, and there is no day when she is not writing.

What she writes are stories, and they are virtual but full characters. They have their own life twists and turns, love and hatred, and love and hatred in her writing.What she writes is not a story, she is venting, she is enjoying, she is full of expectations, and she is using every word to outline the happy life that belongs to Catherine Bennett.

However, she can't get any motivation now.The book world that had firmly occupied her mind in the past can no longer arouse her interest and motivation.On the contrary, every time she saw those pens and papers, she couldn't help ridiculing her heart.

Do you think you can change your destiny by working hard?

Catherine looked at the ceiling calmly, and the scenes of her hard work and struggle for writing in the past 300 days were constantly living in her mind.

She sought Mr. Bennett's support; she opened the letter anxiously; Amused by her own humorous words, she sat there laughing like a fool; she was so excited when she received the admission letter; she went to negotiate with Willard; her book began to be serialized and published, and she ran to the bookstore , Pretending to buy a book, but actually listening to other people's discussions and opinions.

She went to collect manuscript fees; she shared secrets and joys with her family; she bought a small dilapidated house with her savings, and cried happily; she bought treasury bonds for herself and her sister, fantasizing about living together; they went to pick out furniture together; She wants to write a book about women's awakening, a small cry for them who are silent...

Catherine was in a mess.Willard's words sounded in her ears again.She shook her head, trying to get those voices out of her mind, but the truth was, she couldn't free herself at all.

She was so naive.

Before Willard spoke bluntly, Catherine had never thought about the things he said.

But now, Catherine couldn't help feeling weak in her hands and feet, and the chills made her whole body chill. Deep terror and fear rushed to her heart.

Catherine wanted to scream.

She found that she thought everything too simply.The vision of coming from later generations is equivalent to standing on the shoulders of giants, which made Catherine feel a sense of superiority that she didn't even realize.

She is actually proud of herself.Because she knows her mind shines, her words are unique, and her ease is a huge success.This kind of pride cannot be avoided, and no one can be more humble than her when she achieves such an achievement.This is human instinct, an inseparable human nature.

However, when Catherine was enjoying the dividends brought about by the age gap, she completely forgot that today is not the society ruled by law where everyone is equal. It is now the end of the 18th century, a feudal era, a feudal dynasty with kings, nobles, and clear class divisions.

In fact, she did not ignore this point.But she has only been here for more than a year, and the Bennett family lives in a quiet and simple countryside, and they have no chance to meet any big shots or powerful nobles.All kinds of cruelty and darkness in society had never appeared in her thought world before she came to London.

After she came to London, she was quickly touched by the contradictions of prosperity and chaos, nobility and poverty.

The aristocrats were infatuated with gold and gold, wearing luxurious and complicated costumes embroidered with gold and silver, and could spend hundreds of thousands of pounds a year on clothes.And in the slums under the same sky, the window knockers took a long bamboo pole at 3 o'clock in the morning every day, rain or shine, and knocked on the glass windows of workers or coachmen who were going to work, earning a penny a week.

It was the best of times and the worst of times.

If Catherine was a girl who grew up in this world, her life would be as calm as water without any waves.After all, she doesn't have a shocking beauty that makes people forget at first sight, and she doesn't have any shining points that can arouse others' interest.She will be very ordinary, just like thousands of girls of the same age.

But now everything is no longer peaceful.Catherine has used her pen to make herself unique.She is no longer one of the crowd, she has become unique and has interesting memories.

She would write books, which were popular and caused a sensation.If she is a man, she will immediately become a famous person.But she is a woman, and in this day and age, a woman has a low voice and is not considered an independent person.

Catherine realized that the good old days of hoping that she could change her life through hard work were over.

Now, she has woken up from her dream.

After Willard's voice fell, Catherine didn't know how long it took before she spoke. Her voice became a little hoarse because of fear: "Sir, are you threatening me?"

Willard always maintained the posture of looking up at her, looking into her eyes full of deep affection: "No, Catherine. I'm just telling you the truth. Although reality is much more hateful than fairy tales, we have to live here .”

Catherine closed her eyes in pain.

In the darkness, Willard's voice was soft and gentle, as if it came from far away.

"Remember that letter, Catherine? You said you had no intention of getting married. I thought you were naive when I saw it. I admit that I didn't care about you at the beginning. Although the contract stated that I would keep it secret for you, that It can't bind me at all. If the interests are big enough, I won't hesitate at the time, and I will definitely disclose your news. I will be more generous to you than others. First, I think this matter is very interesting. Second, I I also think you can exchange for a bigger bargaining chip for me."

"However, my mind changed soon. To be honest, I don't know when and why. In short, when the rich and powerful offered to see you, I refused without even thinking about it. Catherine, at that time I started wondering why. I thought about it for a long time, and even tried to avoid it, but now, I know the answer."

"Because before I know it, you are already more precious than those wealth and power in my heart. No matter how many temptations others offer, I will never exchange you with them. Difficult to breathe, unacceptable."

"Catherine, I... You probably already guessed that my life was not happy before, but if you don't want to listen, then I won't talk about this topic."

"But I still want to tell you that I have thought about not getting married for the rest of my life, because I can't think of what kind of person can make me willingly step into the grave of decay and despair like marriage. But your appearance made me The idea has a concrete appearance."

"I admit that I can't promise you that I will love you forever. Love is fragile and mutated. Anyone who makes such a promise is a lie. I can only say that it is my greatest sincerity to propose to you."

"I still think marriage is a grave, but I want to live with you and die with you when I get old."

Catherine was silent for a long time.She felt like her brain was about to explode, going back and forth between disappointment and surprise.

"Catherine, don't rush to make a decision, okay? I beg you to think carefully and digest what I said, and then tell me when you think it through." Willard saw Catherine's panic and collapse, and felt For a moment, he almost wanted to hug her into his arms regardless, but he tried his best to control this impulse.

He got up in a hurry, retreated to a position about two meters away from Catherine, and said, "I think I should go back to the salon. You can hide here for a while, and I will explain to your family."

After speaking, Willard took another deep look at Catherine, then turned and walked out of the lounge.

Afterwards, Catherine's impression was somewhat blurred.She doesn't even remember how she got home, who she met on the way, or who she talked to.

All she knew was that all happiness seemed to be far away from her.The reality is so cold and desperate, she seems to have returned to the year when she was six years old, she happily received the three-good student certificate, and then the classmate tore up the certificate and told her that she was a wild child without parents.

And there was a person who told her that as long as she nodded and agreed to his marriage proposal, all the problems would be solved, life would return to its original ease and comfort, and even become incomparably noble and rich.

He loves her, he has no demands on her.I only hope that she will make concessions and compromises, and change some of her unrealistic insistence.

Even those insistence has been deeply engraved into her soul.

If it were you, would you like it?