[Pride and Prejudice] Becoming Katherine Bennett

It is said that a woman has a needle in the bottom of her heart, and Catherine found that when a man became inexplicable, it would also make people wonder what he was thinking.

She shifted her position uncomfortably, trying to avoid Mr. Darcy's gaze.But she soon found that it was futile.He was still looking at her.No matter where she is, no matter where he is, his eyes will always pass through the crowds, break through the distance and obstacles, and fall on her.

Different from Gordon's extremely aggressive gaze, Mr. Darcy's expression is serious and focused, and there is a continuous friendship and tenderness in his eyes.

Under his gaze, Catherine was embarrassed at first and didn't have the time to think about other things. Later, she became a little annoyed and became angry.She couldn't help but glared at him, hoping that he would stop looking at her.Satisfied to see him look away, she was finally relieved.Who would have thought that as soon as she looked away, she could feel the lingering eyes of the other party again.

Catherine was incoherent for a while, and she couldn't get the words out of the way when she talked to her aunt and Jane. She had only one thought in her heart. If she could, she really wanted to kick Mr. Darcy.

Aunt Gardner has been standing very close to Catherine, and naturally became the object of Mr. Darcy's eyes. She felt that what Mr. Darcy said was completely different from what Wickham said, and asked: "Mr. Darcy in Meryton?" Is it like this all the time?"

Catherine was embarrassed by her aunt's teasing, but her anger quickly dissipated afterward.

She heard Jane say: "No, Mr. Darcy is a very serious gentleman. He is usually serious and doesn't like to talk to others. Today..."

Jane didn't want to embarrass Catherine, so she didn't say the rest.Even she, who is gentle and humble, can see the difference in Mr. Darcy tonight.How could Catherine not realize it?

Yes, he is a no-nonsense gentleman.With his personality, his attention to her will never be out of teasing, nor out of scrutiny.

There can only be one reason for him to look at her.He couldn't control himself, just as he couldn't control his emotions, he couldn't suppress his gaze.

He wants to see her.Because he likes her very much, it can even be said that he loves her.

Yes, he loves her.Catherine didn't even know when his love happened or where it came from. She only knew that when she found out, this love had merged from the weak water to the surging ocean, which made her feel grateful. But dare not face it.

Catherine, who was thinking this way, didn't realize that a dry field in her heart was being silently nourished by this deep and strong love.Although she stood up to resist and insisted on resisting, countless water droplets penetrated the barrier and penetrated into her heart.

Catherine was determined not to quarrel with Mr. Darcy.After she figured this out, she adjusted her mentality quickly. At least when Mr. Darcy led her to the dance floor, she managed to calm down.

But when they stood facing each other, waiting for the music to play, Catherine became angry again.Because he was looking at her again, this time even when she glared at him, he didn't avoid it in the slightest.

She had never been in love, nor experienced love, and she didn't realize that there was an intimate coquettishness in her anger.If the object of her anger is a master in the field of love, the other party must have begun to chuckle, knowing that he has opened the door to her heart.

It's a pity that she is facing Mr. Darcy, who is less experienced in feelings than she is.

Catherine felt that Mr. Darcy was too annoying, she rejected him silently, and he had already responded, what is he doing now?

She is angry and doesn't talk to Darcy.

Seeing her displeasure, Darcy couldn't help but think more carefully about which sentence to use to formally start their reunion.

It's not that he has nothing to say, on the contrary, he has too much to say.

He misses a lot, cares a lot and wants to give her a lot of love.

He still had a lot of questions. He wanted to ask her why he came to London, how he knew Gordon, what was their relationship, and why Gordon asked her to dance the opening dance.

But these words were only silently recited several times in Darcy's heart, and Catherine did not hear them.

Darcy would never allow himself to ask such inexplicable words.As mad as he wanted to be, and as anxious as he was about it, he would never say it.

no way.

The first dance of the two was very silent. When the second piece of music was played, Darcy said, "I didn't expect to meet you here."

"Me too," Catherine replied.She was indeed surprised.

"You..." As soon as Darcy opened his mouth, he found that he almost blurted out "Why did you come?" This represented his true heart, but it was something he never wanted to say.As soon as he uttered a word, he was very upset. He managed to maintain his composure, and forcibly changed his words, "Is the family okay?"

Catherine looked at him strangely, wondering how he could care about her family.But she still said: "Thank you for your concern, they are all very well."

Darcy was very annoyed, he felt that no matter what he really thought or what he said, he looked like a fool, so he pursed his lips tightly and stopped talking.

Catherine ignored him.

The two were silent again, and after a while, Darcy tried to talk again: "What have you done since you came to London?"

Catherine said: "I didn't do anything, I mainly stayed at home."

"Oh, so what do you do at home?"

"Eat, sleep."

"So what's your favorite book recently?"

Catherine: ...

Catherine believes that if there is a straight man award in this world, she will definitely win a trophy for Mr. Darcy.

She was very angry at first, but she couldn't help being annoyed and funny when she saw the extremely straightforward topic that the other party had racked her brains to come up with. She asked him: "Mr. Darcy, do you not know how to chat with girls besides reading books?" She found that almost every time he talked to her, he started with a book.

Darcy was a little embarrassed by what she said. He hesitated for a moment, but answered honestly: "Yes. In fact, I haven't actively talked to women. Is this obvious to me?"

"very obvious."

Darcy couldn't help but look sad: "I'm sorry, I made you feel boring. I know that compared to others, I am a boring person."

Darcy didn't realize that his words were sour, and his heart was being bitten by ugly jealousy.Of course she would find him boring.After all, Gordon is so eloquent, and she has had a lot of contact with him, so she naturally finds men who can chat with women very interesting.

Darcy pursed his lips tightly, his eyes were lonely.Although he thought he was pretending well, Catherine could still see his sadness from his pale expression.

Catherine looked at him, and couldn't bear to say: "No, Mr. Darcy, you are not boring, you are just reticent. There is nothing wrong with that, no one thinks that everyone should be eloquent."

"Thank you for your comfort, but I know that my character is not good. I am too arrogant and not good at talking."

Listening to his words, Catherine suddenly realized that the gentleman in front of her was feeling inferior, and his depression and inferiority complex all came from her.

Mr. Darcy was such a noble and fine gentleman, and now, because he liked her, he thought himself bad.

Catherine's heart became extremely soft, and she said softly: "No, Mr. Darcy, I don't know what others think, but I think it's very good for you to be like this."

Catherine's words were like light, instantly driving away the gloom in Darcy's eyes.His eyes were bright, and hope and strength burst out again in his expression.

He stared at her without saying anything more. He called her name in a deep voice, with a steady voice, and every syllable seemed to fall on her heart.

"Miss Catherine."

Catherine found it really nice when he called her.

They all knew Darcy's intentions, and Catherine knew that she was almost responding to each other when she said such words.

But after she hesitated, she still didn't want this gentleman to belittle himself.

She wanted to tell him that it was her problem that there was no continuation between them.It's because she was timid and didn't dare to try. She didn't have the confidence that she could match this gentleman.She was afraid that after his hot love faded, she would find that she was actually small and incompetent, and he would regret giving her love.

"Mr. Darcy, you are really nice. Some things... are my problems." Catherine said.

"I don't understand." It was rare for Darcy to have such intense emotions on his face. It was a mixture of tension, anger, fear and disbelief. He looked at her, the light in his eyes was intense and depressed.

He could hear it, he could hear that Catherine really thought he was good, but he also understood that she still hadn't changed her mind to refuse.

How could there be such a contradictory and hard-hearted lady in the world?

Didn't his love, his heart, and his sincerity that he offered over and over again didn't move her in the slightest?

Why wouldn't she just nod her head gently and make him the happiest person in the world?

Darcy's mood was surging, and Catherine bowed her head in silence.The dance of the two fell into silence again. For different reasons, under the joyful music, only this couple looked lonely.

Tracy approached Willard with a glass of red wine and handed it to him: "Maybe some Russian spirits?"

Willard stood in a corner of the dance hall, his gaze was withdrawn from the men and women in the middle of the dance floor, and he looked at his brother, without saying a word, with a calm and indifferent expression.

Tracy added fuel to the fire: "If it was someone else, I wouldn't doubt your victory or defeat at all, but Mr. Darcy, it's really hard to say. If I were a girl, I would also like his calm type, and It's not like you want people to beat you every day."

Willard said unhappily: "As the host of the ball, don't you have something to do?"

"Yes, I want to care about my brother who seems to be broken in love. You are more important than them, don't you feel the warmth from your brother?"

"Not at all, and I don't need it. Besides," Willard took the wine glass from him, and drank it without etiquette. He looked at Catherine and Darcy with a calm expression, but his tone was decisive and assertive. , "Broken love? Although I don't know what you're talking about, it's better not to draw conclusions too early."

After dancing with Darcy, Catherine walked out of the ballroom. She walked slowly along the long corridor, and she heard her heels tap and click on the floor.

She walked towards the small garden and walked on the polished marble slabs. She quietly passed one stone pillar after another, and walked through the hanging branches. Light and shadow intertwined and slid across her face in turn.

The time of the ball passed quickly, and the sun that was hanging in the sky when she came had now been replaced by a bright moon.

Catherine went into the garden and sat down on the bench.She raised her head and looked at the bright moon unconsciously. After a while, she suddenly remembered that a long, long time ago, she also sat on the bench like this, staring blankly at the moon in the sky.

She clearly remembers that day.In fact, she was looking at the sun at first, but she sat there for too long, until the sun set and the moon climbed up, she still did not leave.

She was crying, silent and painful, she couldn't control it, she shed a lot of tears.

She felt bad about herself and thought she had suffered enough and nothing in the world could ever make her sad.But now I realize that she is so vulnerable that others can easily destroy all her strength.

Catherine cried and cried, her head hurt from crying, and her thoughts were blurred, but she didn't forget her feelings. She really wanted to ask the senior.She wanted to ask him, why are you doing this to me?In your eyes, am I particularly funny?

Those gentleness, and those special and hard work, are they all fake?You never liked me for a moment, did you?

But in the end, she didn't ask anything, she just silently blocked all the contact information of the senior, bid farewell silently, and disappeared silently.

Later, he found her and used someone else's phone, and she recognized his voice as soon as she got through.

She thought she was mentally prepared to pretend that this hadn't happened, but the reality was that she burst into tears almost as soon as she heard his voice.

He called her name.She tried to hold back the tears and said, huh?He was quiet for a moment and asked her, are you crying?She can't say yes.She just covered her mouth and let the tears flow wildly.She wanted to say that I was too greedy, not your fault.

But she couldn't tell.She didn't want him to know that she was crying, and she didn't want anyone to see her tears and weakness.

The senior was silent for a long time, and said to her, I'm sorry.

She gave a short "um", and then, she made the most proactive decision since they met, and she hung up the phone.He called again, and she hung up again. After repeated several times, she sent him a message, telling him that he didn't need to be sorry, but she also hoped that they would stop contacting each other.

After a long time, he said, good.

Catherine was very proud of herself, she did it, she managed not to ask him why.

And now, she will not ask the other him why.

Why does Mr. Darcy, who is such a good person, like her?

Was it because he was attracted by her occasional words from later generations that he was so hot-headed?

When they are really together, he will definitely find that she is not that good, he will be disappointed, he will feel that she lied to him, he no longer loves her, and he will leave her.

And then, what should she do?

Her heart was broken, so thorough, so painful.Although she has carefully glued them back together, there are thin cracks everywhere, and they can no longer withstand blows.

Catherine was thinking wildly when suddenly she felt someone walking beside her.

She didn't need to look at him to know who it was.She heard his rapid breathing and smelled the light fragrance of his body.She looked sideways slowly, and she saw Mr. Darcy's figure emerging little by little with her movements.

See his arms first, then his shoulders.Then the chest, then the neck.It is the face.It's eyebrows.

In the end, her gaze was fixed on his eyes.

The night is like water, and his eyes are as gentle as the spring breeze in March.

Darcy looked down at Catherine, distressed and loving.

Darcy noticed Catherine as soon as she came out of the hall, and he told himself not to follow her, but he couldn't help it.He walked far behind her, stepping lightly, for fear that she would hear any movement.

He originally just wanted to look at her quietly, but looking at her, he once again felt the loneliness emanating from her as if she had been abandoned by the whole world.

Why, Catherine?Why do you think I'm nice, but don't want to?Why are your sisters so lively and cheerful, but you live so cold and lonely?

If it was said that Darcy's heart was disheartened because of her rejection again before, he couldn't care about that now.

He thought of his thoughts before coming to the dance today, and he had something to tell her.Although he can already guess the ending, he still has to cherish God's arrangement, he has to obey his heart, he has to fight for himself, tell her that he longs to give her happiness, and he wants to hold her in his arms.He wanted her to know that as long as she nodded, she would never be alone again. In the future, no matter the wind or rain, someone would walk with her.

Although her family members are ridiculous and her relatives are vulgar and humble, their love will make his relatives and friends extremely disappointed.

But it doesn't matter, those are not important anymore.

All worries are nothing compared to such a young lady whom he loves so much.

he loves her.

He misses her every moment, every minute, every second.

If it weren't for Catherine's palpable loneliness at this time, Darcy might not have had such great courage. With his hands behind his back, he clenched his fists where Catherine couldn't see.

He opened his mouth, looked at her, and said solemnly: "Miss Catherine, I..."

"Miss Catherine, Ma'am is looking for you."

Along with his voice, there was another female voice.

Both Catherine and Darcy were taken aback. They looked over together and saw Tina's housekeeper standing not far away, with her head slightly lowered.

The beautiful atmosphere was broken in an instant, and the two separated. Darcy turned around and walked in the other direction with a bad expression, while Catherine stood there, feeling at a loss and embarrassed.

Catherine looked at Darcy, looking at his back that had gone away.She didn't know what he wanted to say, but no matter what he wanted to say, she couldn't continue at this moment.

Catherine followed the housekeeper away.Darcy stopped, turned around, and looked at Catherine's back quietly.

Catherine walked into the ballroom, and Tina stood not far away.

"I've been looking for you for a long time," Tina said happily, "I finally have time to talk to the person I want to talk to the most."

Catherine looked at Tina's expression and found that the other party's attitude was natural, as if she didn't know that she had been with Darcy in the garden before.

But at this time, she saw Willard coming over, and he looked at her with the deep meaning in his eyes that he didn't intend to hide. Catherine only took one look, and knew that the housekeeper was sent by him.

He saw her alone with Darcy.

Catherine stopped looking at him, and said to Tina: "Madam, thank you for your favor and hospitality."

Tina enthusiastically talks about her love for "Blood Return".From her words, Catherine found that she really liked the book. Not only did she know many details in the book, but she also made guesses and judgments about the plot.

As an author, Catherine couldn't help being moved by such readers. She chatted with Tina about "Blood Repayment", and then about "Blood Debt", which is about to start serialization.During this time, Willard came over and joined their chat.He chatted about the book with a calm attitude, his expression was normal, as if nothing had happened.

Compared with him, Catherine's acting skills are much worse.She is far from being able to act as if nothing had happened, and her attitude is always a little stiff and unnatural.

Tina noticed the embarrassment between them, and in order to add points to Willard, she took the initiative to chat with Catherine about her new book: "I heard from Willard that you have a love book that you want to publish at your own expense?"

Tina didn't know that it was this love book that caused Catherine and Willard's previous conversation.Catherine was a little embarrassed, facing Willard's burning gaze, and said, "Yes, Ma'am. That book is called "Alice."

"Can you tell me about it? I'm interested. I'd like to sponsor your book if I can."

In this era, it is common for nobles to sponsor writers. Many writers are poor and will take the initiative to ask for help.Some aristocrats subsidize the living expenses of writers, while some aristocrats appreciate the talents of writers, and will take the initiative to contribute money to help writers publish, covering all publishing costs, and do not receive any follow-up income.

Catherine and Tina tell the story of the book.At first she just wanted to have a brief chat with this lady, but Tina caught exactly what she wanted to write and asked, "A young lady who doesn't associate marriage with property? This is very interesting."

"That's right, the heroine is a setting."

"Oh I guess maybe the funniest part of the book is the male suitors? They must be ridiculous."

"I do plan to focus more on this aspect. Although this book is about love, I don't want it to be limited to the single scope of love and marriage."

"According to what you said, no man is reliable, so who does the heroine rely on?" Willard, who had been silent all this time, suddenly asked.

Catherine answered quietly, without a moment's hesitation: "On her own."

Willard stared at her deeply and said nothing.

While chatting with Tina, some gentlemen came to invite Catherine to dance one after another, but she refused.

Neither Mr. Darcy nor Mr. Willard troubled her that evening.

At the end of the ball, Tina personally sent them to the carriage. She took Catherine's hand and said sincerely: "I really appreciate you, Miss Catherine. I hope you will not refuse my invitation in the future. I really want to have sex with you." Friends, it has nothing to do with others."

Catherine has a good impression of Tina, who is bright and smart. She is dignified, unassuming, generous and cheerful, and Catherine expresses that she will definitely come to visit.

On the way back to Grace Hall Street, the three of Catherine were very tired. They only discussed a few words about the dance party and then began to rest. They were too tired to speak.

And Catherine thought that with so many things happening one after another today, she would be so complicated that she could not sleep at night.But when the carriage home rocked for more than two hours before arriving home, she endured the tiredness and lay on the bed after washing and washing. She fell asleep almost as soon as she touched the pillow. She slept very soundly all night without even having a dream .

The next morning, because she came back late at night and was very tired, Catherine woke up nearly two hours later than usual. She was rubbing her sleepy eyes when the maid knocked on the door and entered, and said to her: "Miss Catherine, I have a meeting." A Mr. Darcy is calling."