Obsessed with Qin

I still love him and will never forget him.If he doesn't come back for a day, I will wait for him for a day. If he dies outside, I will build a tomb for him and be a grave keeper for his whole life. "

Qin's mother suddenly raised her arm, as if she was about to slap her, but she stopped in mid-air, her fingers tightened one by one like a spasm, Qin Jin looked at her very calmly, and said slowly: "He is alive , I am alive too, when he dies, my heart dies too, in this life, I only want him."

After a quarrel with Qin's mother, the atmosphere at home became more and more dull.Qin Jin became less and less talkative, Qin's mother stayed in the kitchen all day, washing the kitchen utensils over and over again, and any random one could be used as a mirror.

By coincidence, everyone seemed to be avoiding something.

On the day of the Lantern Festival, several former subordinates of Qin's father came to the house, and Qin's mother arranged a large table of dishes, trying to create a lively scene.After drinking a few glasses of wine with him, Qin Jin slipped out of the house on the pretext of a friend gathering.

Where did he get together with friends? He hasn't been in touch with anyone for a long time. Liu Xianghua would occasionally call to ask what's going on, but he would be vague and perfunctory. Send two harassing text messages.

It was dark, and it was quite cold outside, but luckily it wasn't snowing, so Qin Jin pulled up the collar of his coat and wrapped himself in a ball, walking around the small square in the community.The neighbors all went home for the festival, and he was alone wandering outside like a ghost, really a bit lonely.

He didn't know how long he had been hanging around, but the phone in his pocket vibrated suddenly, Qin Jin thought it was another spam message, took out the phone to check, and it turned out to be Chu Nian's name popping up on the screen.

Qin Jin trembled, almost put the phone screen down on the ground, pressed the answer button in a panic, and heard Chu Nian laughing on the other end, saying: "Is it convenient? Come out and meet."

Qin Jin said: "I'm walking in the small square downstairs to digest my food. Where are you? I'll look for you."

Chu Nian said: "Stay there and don't move, I'll be there right away, 10 minutes at most."

Chu Nian had lost a lot of weight, wearing a knee-length windbreaker, he looked empty, and a beard grew on his lips, which blocked the delicate and handsome face, adding a bit of vicissitudes after going through changes.

Qin Jin sat on the bench next to the fitness machine and waved to Chu Nian. Chu Nian walked over on the snow covered with heels, and the first thing he said was: "I'm leaving, tomorrow morning The plane should never come back again.

127

When Chu Nian said that he was going to leave, Qin Jin was stunned for a moment, with a vague premonition in his heart; "Zhou Hesen..."

Chu Nianqiang held up a bitter smile, his eyes were all dim, and he said in a low voice, "Let's go..."

Qin Jin subconsciously said "Ah", as if snowflakes had fallen on the tip of his heart, a cold touch, and then his whole body began to tremble uncontrollably.

In the opera, it is sung that "success is late, parting is early". It turns out that this is the scene. No matter how happy the two are, they will eventually leave a person alone.

There were no tears in Chu Nian's eyes, only a vast emptiness remained. He took out a cigarette. Qin Jin held the lighter in one hand and tried to light it for him, but his fingers kept trembling and slipping, and he couldn't even press it many times. Can make flames.Chu Nian patted his head with a smile, and said, "I haven't seen you for a few days, so it's just like this!"

Qin Jin withdrew his hand embarrassingly, and said, "Are you going to travel? Will you just drift like this for the rest of your life?"

Chu Nian shook his head, played with the cigarette in his hand, and said: "It's not a trip, it's a settlement, abroad, Helsinki, the place where his mother was born. A long time ago, he was drunk once and told me , when the matter here is over, take me to Helsinki to see where his mother was born and grew up."

Qin Jin felt his nasal cavity was sore and numb, and said with a tingly voice, "He's not here anymore, what are you doing there? Jiao Chu, to put it bluntly, you have to learn to be more selfish. For the first half of your life, you put all your thoughts Throwing on Zhou Hesen is infatuation and loyalty. Now he is...you continue to live your life according to his way, that is stupid."

Chu Nian lowered his head, remained silent for a while, and said, "I understand, but Zhou Hesen went through the divorce procedures with his first wife before he died, and left all the property under his name to me. In his self-written will, I am Appoint a sole heir."

Qin Jin took a sharp breath, Chu Nian raised his hand and wiped his face, his cold fingertips trembling slightly: "Although it is an inheritance, there is actually not much left. Zhou Hesen's first wife teamed up with Zhou Tan, and he has already emptied him, but Among those few things, there is a real estate in Helsinki. Do you know how I felt when I saw the real estate certificate? I even wanted to follow him, chasing underground, chasing to Naihe Bridge , ask him if he ever loved me..."

Chu Nian covered his face with his palms, desperately trying to stabilize the emotions that were about to burst, and said in a low voice: "I hated him, but more often I loved him."

Qin Jin's heart was sore and aching, but he couldn't cry out. He put his index knuckle into his mouth and bit it hard, blood was seen on the skin, and the taste was fishy and sweet.

Chu Nian continued: "He knew he was going to die, and he could no longer control the situation of the Zhou family, so he sent someone to lock me up and watch me 24 hours a day, not giving outsiders any chance to hurt me. He didn't allow me to go He didn't even tell him where he was buried, but he arranged all the retreats for me. He prepared a property in Helsinki, asked his cronies to escort me there, and deposited it in a local bank account under my name Alright, Qin Jin, tell me, how should I forget such a person..."

Qin Jin really wanted Chu Nian to cry, whether he was drunk or swearing, if he let it out, it meant he let go of the past.Sometimes, the calmer you are, the more dangerous you are. All the wounds are buried in your heart, and you can't forget them or get better.

Qin Jin thought, Chu Nian and I are actually people on the same road. For a love, we took part in our whole life.

That day, Chu Nian didn't stay with Qin Jin for too long, and Zhou Hesen had already made all the schedules before his death.

Before parting, Chu Nian opened his arms and made a gesture of hugging, with a slight smile on his lips, very faint and haggard: "Give me a hug, we won't have many chances to see each other in the future."

Qin Jin sniffled, his eyes were a little red, he hugged Chu Nian's thin waist, put his chin on his shoulder, and said: "When you get there, settle down, remember to contact me, I will go to see you. But It’s just going out of the country, not going to the moon.”

Chu Nian smiled, raised his hand and rubbed Qin Jin's hair, and said, "You must wait until Qin Zhao comes back and prove to me that there is still happiness in this world, and there is still a happy family."

It was snowing, and there was a faint cold light on the ground, Qin Jin closed his eyes and hugged Chu Nian tightly with all his strength, rubbing the unresolved pain in his frowning brows.

"I will wait," he seemed to be telling Chu Nian and himself, "We will get married eventually."

After seeing off Chu Nian and returning home, it was already midnight, his parents were asleep, and they left a light for him at the entrance.The hot air hit his face, and Qin Jin realized that he was completely frozen, and his fingers and toes were icy cold.When I went back to the bedroom to change clothes, I accidentally touched the phone screen, slid to the music playback interface, and an affectionate male voice floated out, singing softly with the accompaniment——

the youth I gave to you

All these years

In exchange for a thank you for your fulfillment

Fulfill your chicness and adventure

Complete my blue sea and blue sky

Qin Jin maintained the posture of reaching for the clothes, and was silent for a long time in front of the wardrobe.The voice still sings—

all the sorrow left

the day we broke up

not always

love completely

My eyes are painful, my head hurts, my heart hurts, my whole body hurts, but I can't cry, not a single tear.

Qin Jin took off all his clothes, walked into the bathroom barefoot, took out a boxed small blade from the drawer under the sink, scalded it with hot water, and then held it in his hand through a tissue.

Under the light, the edge of the blade reflected the faintness like a shooting star, and there was a quiet singing sound from outside the bathroom.Qin Jin was lying in the bathtub, using the faint singing voice to cut the skin on his thighs.

The blood-red color was scattered in the warm water, and Qin Jin remembered the last words Chu Nian said to him before parting: "The one who is gone is gone, but the one who stays has to bear the lives of two people, I dare not go Think about how long the days ahead will be."

Warm water poured over the wrist, and the black "Z" tattoo flickered slightly as if it was alive, and the chest was filled with sadness, but still couldn't cry.The lacrimal gland seemed to be broken, Qin Jin squinted his eyes against the light, and slashed again with the thin blade in his hand.

Seeing more blood flow out, he felt better, and the painful feeling gradually faded away.

After soaking in the water for a while, Qin Jin wiped off the blood on the blade, wrapped it in a tissue and threw it into the toilet to flush away, then took a quick shower avoiding the wound.All traces have been erased, no one knows what he did in the bathroom, only the scars on his thighs are piled up day by day.

After taking a shower and drying his hair, it was early in the morning. Qin Jin stood on the balcony with a cigarette in his mouth for a while. The god of sleep was extremely stingy, and he would not reward him with any sleepiness. He could only go back to the room, spread out Books continue to do questions.The curtains in front of the desk were not drawn properly, and the glass window revealed a faint reflection, reflecting an expressionless face.

Qin Zhao, I also gave my youth for you

So many years.

128

In March, when the weather was getting warmer, Qin Jin asked Liu Xianghua out for a drink. When he received the call, Liu Xianghua was flattered and tearful, and bluntly said that the young master finally remembered his