Neverland

Xu Muzhou actually didn't care too much about what Toya said.

His heart seemed to be artificially stuffed into a mess, the more Xu Muzhou tried to sort out the mess of thoughts, the tighter the thing became.The thorny thorns seemed to be a solid cage, enveloping his whole heart. The sharp thorns pierced his softest part, causing him to tremble in pain.

Xu Muzhou's temples hurt suddenly, and his heart was also swollen and painful. He subconsciously stretched out his hand to hold it in front of his heart, but he only got a ball of rough cloth.

But he soon realized that it was useless, because he could not end this pain with his own ability—he had to meet Yan Cen, confirm that the other party was still there, and confirm that those "futures" had not happened before he could get out of this kind of pain. Get away from the pain for a moment and a half.

So Xu Muzhou didn't even say goodbye to Toya, nor did he end the topic, he stood up on his own, and almost left Toya's room as if fleeing.

Toya sat in the dark, the light of the crystal ball in his hand gradually weakened, and finally turned into the dim look before.

Toya lowered her head, touched the crystal ball cherishingly, and sighed a little lonely.

The eyes of Xu Muzhou, who had fled, couldn't get used to the darkness for a while, he held the handrail of the doorway for a while, and the large black spots in front of his eyes began to become clear.

He dragged his heavy feet back the same way, went downstairs, turned around, and the bunch of keys hanging behind him collided together, jingling.

There was some faint yellow light from the crack in the door of the room he stayed in before. The kerosene lamp was very dim, but it was already the only light source in this castle. Standing at the door, Xu Muzhou felt a little sore in his eyes.

In the short "future" he saw in the second half, Yan Cen didn't even appear, but he was really there - just when Xu Muzhou needed him the most.

But Xu Muzhou knew it in his heart, just like those mysterious "coincidences" in his life, he who forgot everything would just treat it as a coincidence that the doorbell malfunctioned, even if he would be afraid later, maybe he would just say a few words of emotion to himself His luck is good, but he will not know that there are still people secretly protecting him in this world.

——This is indeed something Yan Cen can do, Xu Muzhou thought.

Yan Cen seems to be like this, he looks so arrogant and conceited, he can see everything with ease, as if there is nothing in the world that he can't solve.

Even if it is such a meticulous and thoughtful thing, in Yan Cen's eyes, I'm afraid it's just a light "easy work".

But he is not someone who is willing to help others with "a little effort". Song Yan and the others have said that Yan Cen has always followed the principle of "seeing death without saving" in his life, and Yan Cen doesn't even bother to look at things that have nothing to do with him, let alone look at it. Luan Baba rushed to help.

But only him... Xu Muzhou thought, Yan Cen always regarded him as special.

Xu Muzhou felt sore in his heart, he hurried forward two steps, stretched out his hand and opened the door.

The kerosene lamp was placed on the small coffee table by the bed, and there was enough kerosene in the iron box, which was burning eagerly.

The cramped bed was a bit too short for Yan Cen's height, so he didn't lie down, but simply sat on the bed, leaning back against the cold and slag brick wall, closing his eyes and resting his mind, as if He fell asleep briefly.

Yan Cen obviously listened to Xu Muzhou's words, the small wound near his collarbone has been treated, and there is a layer of green and unknown paste on it, covering half of his shoulders.

Xu Muzhou paused.

But Yan Cen, who had always been a light sleeper, didn't seem to be woken up by him—or, in a long time together, Yan Cen has become immune to Xu Muzhou's footsteps, and won't be as alert as if he heard a strange voice.

Xu Muzhou walked as lightly as possible, and walked to the bedside on the creaking wooden floor.

When Yan Cen woke up from a nap, he frowned habitually at first, but then recognized Xu Muzhou's aura, so he didn't even open his eyes, but lazily raised his hand and held Xu Muzhou continent's hand.

"Are you back?" Yan Cen's voice was a little careless, and he asked, "What did you ask?"

Xu Muzhou followed his strength and fell down on the bed, holding his hand, suddenly felt guilty from the bottom of his heart for no reason.

——He felt like he had betrayed Yan Cen.

What he saw in the crystal ball lingered in his mind, Xu Muzhou looked at Yan Cen's face, always felt that he seemed to have abandoned Yan Cen once.

This kind of feeling is very unreasonable, because that thing is said to be "the future", but in fact it is just an illusory image.

But Xu Muzhou just felt that what if it was true.

In other words, who can say that it is fake.

Human beings are fickle and complex creatures. Contradiction and hypocrisy are bad roots buried in the bones.

Xu Muzhou knows himself well. Since he grew up, he has never had any long-term relationship - relatives, friends, everything.Since he has never enjoyed a long-term and stable intimate relationship, how can he be sure that he really has the ability to enjoy a long-term relationship.

After discovering this, Xu Muzhou suddenly fell into a kind of extreme panic, because he discovered a problem - emotions are beyond his control.

What's more, he lacks a lot of emotional ability compared to others. This is a wound that was inscribed in his childhood, and it has been irreversibly engraved on his soul and character during the growth process.

Human nature cannot stand the test, who can guarantee that he will not abandon Yan Cen because he is "tired" and choose to return to his own life.

After all, he didn't believe in himself.

He was afraid that his "future" self would really betray Yan Cen.

And this possibility only appeared for a short moment, and Xu Muzhou became uncontrollably flustered.

Just like those seen in "Future", Xu Muzhou seems to have split the present and "future" himself into two people. He tried to stop each other countless times, but in the end he could only find that he couldn't do anything. .

The "future" has absolute control over the "past".

Xu Muzhou has never hated his background so much for a moment. He even wondered if he could enjoy safe and complete love like other children when he was young, would he have more confidence in himself? .

But this assumption is meaningless, Xu Muzhou gritted his teeth and erased it from his mind.

Xu Muzhou unconsciously tightened Yan Cen's hand, he looked at Yan Cen fixedly, for a moment, he even felt that if the future must end in such a tragic way, then he should not stay at all, just like As he and Yan Cen had tacitly agreed before, after falling in love vigorously, they broke up before parting.

It's better to give Yan Cen hope than to leave him behind after giving Yan Cen hope.

...Why bother to torture him like this, Xu Muzhou thought to himself.

But then, Xu Muzhou's back felt cold again, and he realized belatedly that if he really did this, then the inexplicable farewell by the sea in the crystal ball would really come true.

——So what kind of future is that? Is it the "future" that the original destiny developed, or the "future" that Xu Muzhou achieved after seeing the "future".

Xu Muzhou felt like he was on the edge of a dead end, going forward or retreating seemed to be a dead end, so a cruel "future" was in front of him, but he didn't know how to get there, so he couldn't even think of avoiding it.

Yan Cen's left hand was slightly hurt by Xu Muzhou's pinch, he opened his eyes strangely, but bumped into Xu Muzhou's eyes.

The whites of Xu Muzhou's eyes were covered with bloodshot eyes, looking a little scary.

His state seemed very strange, Yan Cen was stunned briefly, but then squeezed his hand calmly, and asked seemingly casually: "What's the matter, didn't you ask anything?"

Before Xu Muzhou could speak, Yan Cen pulled Xu Muzhou over with a slight force on his left hand.

Xu Muzhou couldn't resist him, so he fell awkwardly along with his strength, his upper body almost leaning against Yan Cen's arms.

Yan Cen didn't move other than his arms, he just sat there lazily, like an old man molesting a woman from a good family.

"It's just a trip to the task target, why did you lose your soul?" Yan Cen reached out and pinched the back of his neck, teasingly said: "I should give you a mirror to look at yourself... You look like a fairy who has been doomed." Later scholars."

Xu Muzhou was soothed by this familiar movement. Although his mind was still a little confused, his mouth did not suffer at all, and subconsciously retorted in a hoarse voice: "Are you saying that I have a kidney deficiency?"

Yan Cen was amused and said, "Why, did you really let the little witch bully you?"

These two out-of-the-box teasing didn't make Xu Muzhou relax. He leaned against Yan Cen's arms, but he didn't smell the familiar smell of tobacco.The already subtle smell of smoke was covered by the herbal mud on Yan Cen's collarbone, Xu Muzhou sniffed it, and only smelled a bitter earthy smell.

"No." Xu Muzhou said.

Xu Muzhou has never had such a problem of hesitating, Yan Cen raised Xu Muzhou's chin and looked at him for a while worriedly, then asked in a low tone, "What's the matter?"

"...I just suddenly thought, what if I don't like you in the future." Xu Muzhou asked suddenly.

Yan Cen was a little confused: "Just this?"

"That's it." Xu Muzhou was very firm.

Yan Cen pinched the hand on the back of his neck for a moment, murmured, and coaxed: "It's okay, don't delay me liking you."

This answer was obviously not what Xu Muzhou wanted to hear, and it even reminded him of the doorbell that appeared for no reason, making him even more depressed.

"No." Xu Muzhou said, "I want to always like you."

Yan Cen couldn't laugh or cry, he always felt that the childishness in Xu Muzhou's body seemed to pop out in this world.

"Okay." Yan Cen sighed, and said helplessly, "Then I will find a way to make you like me all the time."

Xu Muzhou was startled.

The tangle of hemp in his mind suddenly stopped, as if a pair of scissors were stretched out out of nowhere, and cut the tangle of hemp by the middle, giving him a brand new train of thought unexpectedly.

After all, what Yan Cen promised can always be fulfilled.

Xu Muzhou suddenly felt light all over his body, as if he had thrown the pressure that was holding him down to Yan Cen.

After all, Xu Muzhou wasn't sure if he could trust himself—but he believed in Yan Cen.