Neverland

No matter how many times this kind of thing happened, Yan Cen still couldn't get used to it.

Neverland does not encourage staff to self-destruct, and it would be good not to punish them, not to mention opening a back door for these self-defeating staff to eliminate the subsequent impact.

The method of self-destruction this time was relatively simple and rude, Yan Cen only felt that every bone in his body was smashed inch by inch, and then healed inch by inch, the pain was so painful that even he broke out in cold sweat.

Yan Cen's mind was full of the system prompts of the Neverland protest, tirelessly whispering in his ear that he wanted to upload mission information and submit a self-destruct report.

He was terribly disturbed by the double pressure of his body and the environment, and his eyes went dark for a brief moment. Because of his mental damage, the teleportation process he was used to became difficult. Yan Cen staggered, and subconsciously stretched out his hand to support his side The walls are barely standing.

The dizziness brought about by this teleportation also lasted longer than usual, Yan Cen frowned for two or three seconds before the snowflake-like black mist in front of him slowly subsided.

Neverland has no time and space restrictions. After all tasks are completed, Neverland will automatically send the staff back to their original positions.There are clear rewards and punishments in Neverland, if Xu Muzhou has completed the punishment task this time, then his changing of the world line will be cancelled.

Xu Muzhou sat up from the bed at some point, facing out the window, his back arched deeply, and he was staring blankly at the hands on his knees.

His face was blank, with no expression at all, his eyes were stunned, as if he had lost his soul.

Yan Cen didn't know what he was looking at, but thinking about it with his knees, he knew it was nothing good.He struggled to support the wall, staggered a few steps forward, half-kneeled in front of Xu Muzhou, and held his face in his hands.

"Muzhou?" Yan Cen asked worriedly.

It is not easy to face the death scene of someone close to you with your own eyes. At the beginning, Ji Yun suffered from a mental disorder because he witnessed the death of Memorial with his own eyes. The impact is tantamount to far greater than the death of illness, if there is no other way, Yan Cen doesn't want to do this in front of Xu Muzhou.

Hearing his voice, Xu Muzhou rolled his eyes numbly, and slowly shifted his gaze to Yan Cen's body——Yan Cen's hands were still trembling, his lips were pale, and big drops of cold sweat dripped from his cheeks. The sideburns dripped down.

Xu Muzhou felt that he was caught in a very strange feeling - his emotions seemed to be stripped of his soul for a short time, and his whole body became dull and sluggish, like an old clock that hasn't been wound up for a long time .

He is still rational and his memory is normal, but the emotions that are usually at his fingertips are completely buried and become distant and inaccessible. Even his whole body is extremely exhausted mentally and physically, and he can't even squeeze out any strength. It became very difficult to move the fingers.

Xu Muzhou could clearly see that Yan Cen's condition was not good, but even so, he still held his face persistently, staring at his expression with his eyes.

Yan Cen didn't have much energy, he could only half kneel beside the bed, approach Xu Muzhou, and put his elbows on the other's knees for strength.

"Mu Zhou?" Xu Mu Zhou watched his lips open and close, his voice was soft and cautious: "Are you okay?"

The fatal wound in the dungeon will harm the soul, and Xu Muzhou's eyes are filled with the scene of Yan Cen falling from the [-]th floor in front of him.

Xu Muzhou's usual excellent memory became a burden - because that short-lived picture was infinitely stretched, every frame was tightly locked in his mind, and it was extremely clear.

—— Yan Cen was punished for him, Xu Muzhou thought slowly.

In the last dungeon, he made his own claim and violated the wishes of the main line, and he was the one who should have been punished.It was Yan Cen who stopped this punishment for him, and even used himself to fill up the excess grievances.

Xu Muzhou's nose was a little sore, and a ball of cotton soaked in water appeared on his chest.He looked like an old man on the verge of decay, his thinking and movements became very slow, he lowered his eyes, gently moved his right hand resting on his knee, and slowly, slowly rubbed Yan Cen's hand.

"...Does it hurt?" Xu Muzhou said hoarsely.

Seeing that he started to speak, Yan Cen breathed a sigh of relief, touched his cheek with his thumb, and smiled at him: "A little bit, I am more pain-tolerant."

He was lying, Xu Muzhou knew it very well.Yan Cen was in so much pain that he couldn't even kneel, he needed to borrow strength from him, how could he be as light as he said.

So Xu Muzhou raised his hand with difficulty, and reached out to hold the back of his hand. His brain seemed to be rusted to death, and he couldn't think of what to say for a while, so he could only look at Yan Cen silently.

Then he saw the smile on the corner of Yan Cen's lips suddenly fade away, the other party stared at him for a while, then sighed softly after a while, leaned closer and asked: "...why are you crying?"

Xu Muzhou looked at him blankly, not quite understanding what he was talking about.

Immediately, Xu Muzhou felt Yan Cen's thumb gently rubbing against the corner of his eye, the callused fingertips felt very obvious, Xu Muzhou looked at his expression, and later realized that he was rubbing himself tears.

"...Don't be burdened." Yan Cen said: "Before you went to that mission world, you believed and respected my choice. Now that you are back, you should do the same."

"And, you have to know one thing, I am willing." He patiently wiped the tears from the corners of Xu Muzhou's eyes with his knuckles: "I know all the inside information, and I understand what will happen if I follow you... you I changed my mission status, and I know all about it. Zhong Lu didn’t hide anything from me. So this is the result I have considered. And I think I can bear this result—if these injuries are on you, I will be in more pain, a hundred times a thousand times worse than now."

It was rare for him to say these nasty words so clearly and firmly, Xu Muzhou's eyelashes trembled, and he reached out to touch his face.

"So the current result is very good." Yan Cen said with a slight smile, as if he was extremely satisfied: "It's only been two days since the mission ended, and I have a lot of time to recuperate...isn't it good, huh?"

Yan Cen's attitude was too soft, he held Xu Muzhou's hand and pressed it to his face, so that the other party could actually touch him.

"As long as I don't want to die, I will never die." Yan Cen said: "...and as long as you are here, I will never want to die."

Xu Muzhou's fingers curled up subconsciously, his palms pressed against Yan Cen's face.

His palm was cold, and for a while it was even more like a piece of ice than Yan Cen, who had a lower body temperature, so that when he touched Yan Cen's face, he felt a soft and warm touch instead.

——Yan Cen is still alive, living well, with complete limbs, and can take care of them well.

This cognition seemed to give Xu Muzhou a complete picture, so that he would not collapse into insanity no matter what, so the emotions that were deliberately isolated by the protection mechanism returned to his body.

Those emotions screamed into his blood, and flowed to his whole body in an instant along with the rushing blood, reactivating his whole body.

Fear, remorse, and anger at his own incompetence returned all at once, like a sharp double-edged knife, breaking his whole body from the inside out, and his heart, liver, spleen and stomach ached.

Xu Muzhou couldn't help but bent down clutching his stomach, and was forced to lie on Yan Cen's shoulder and retched a few times.

He was in pain and uncomfortable, as if a heavy lead block was blocked in his chest, it couldn't go up and down, it scraped him bloody, and he wanted to dig his heart and lungs to find a quiet place.

Yan Cen was so distressed that he wanted to help him, but Xu Muzhou had already straightened his waist. He was still hunched over, the whites of his eyes were covered with bloodshot eyes, and he looked terrified, as if he was about to cry and bleed.

"It should be mine, right?" Xu Muzhou clutched his collar with his fingers convulsively, and asked tremblingly, "The identity of forensic doctor should have been mine, right?"

"Yes." Yan Cen admitted.

"You—" Xu Muzhou didn't want to yell at him, he wanted to show his heart to Yan Cen, but those complicated and painful emotions made him feel so painful, Xu Muzhou trembled, every word in his head Li Lian was in a row, and could only ask instinctively: "Since I won't die, why didn't you let me die, why did you—"

"You have to go back, do you understand?" Yan Cen also raised his voice, he grabbed Xu Muzhou's wrist, tried his best to keep him from shaking too much, and said seriously: "You can't kill people, and you can't go Death, these feelings are engraved in your bones and stuck in your soul! Once you get stuck, you can't go back!"

Xu Muzhou tugged at his collar and couldn't bear to ask: "Then can you die!"

Not to be outdone, Yan Cen said, "Of course I can!"

Xu Muzhou was taken aback.

Perhaps because he had already "died" in front of Xu Muzhou once, Yan Cen suddenly felt that the wound he had covered tightly all along was not so difficult to accept.

"I lied to you, Xu Muzhou." Yan Cen took a deep breath, and said softly, "I can only generate characters from the original worldline not to better integrate the timeline."

Xu Muzhou faintly guessed what he wanted to say, but Yan Cen didn't give him a chance to stop him.

"You discovered a long time ago... In addition to 'people' like you, there are some souls without bodies in the system." Yan Cen smiled, and his smile was so forced that Xu Muzhou even looked at him. There are some "tragic" meanings.

"I am." Yan Cen said: "So I will never leave Neverland."

At that moment, Xu Muzhou suddenly remembered something inappropriately - Yan Cen had actually asked him.

For such a long time, Yan Cen only confided his "willfulness" to him once.

——On the day when the relationship was confirmed, Yan Cen once told him that I want time to stop and time to flow.

What did he respond to then?

- really greedy.

Xu Muzhou closed his eyes in pain.

He took that sentence as a natural flirting in the good atmosphere at that time, and he just flirted back, but he didn't expect that Yan Cen had already told him what was in his heart.

Yan Cen said this kind of heartfelt words only once, because he didn't understand the unfinished meaning of Yan Cen's words at that time.

——Also in Ji Yun's world, Yan Cen also asked him his opinion on the dead.

The more Xu Muzhou thought about it, the more he couldn't think about it anymore. Those guilt and regrets magnified the originally innocuous little things, reminding him over and over again in his mind that he had missed something.

It's his fault——Xu Muzhou thought paranoidly, it's because he didn't find out earlier, didn't respond to this sentence earlier, that made Yan Cen always feel that sooner or later they would say goodbye forever.

After so many years of ups and downs in Neverland, Yan Cen knows better than anyone what the composition of fate is—among the countless choices that are either voluntary or forced, a person's complete fate line can be connected in series.

But in the tide of fate, the vast majority of people just think they are free. They are often born in cages and are controlled by fate throughout their lives.

Perhaps because of this, at least here at Yan Cen, no matter what the content of the choice is, Yan Cen is willing to give Xu Muzhou the right to choose as much as possible.

But in the final analysis, he never expected that Xu Muzhou would stay after learning the truth.No matter how normal Neverland looks, how much like a real society, it is impossible to keep a living person.

this is the truth.

No matter from which point of view, Xu Muzhou's departure from this world is not called leaving, it should be called survival.

——However, survival is the instinct of human beings.