Mo

My impression of my birthplace is always crowded and noisy, indulgent and oppressive.Every time I stick my head out to look at the outside world, I feel that there are big hands attacking my head, about to blind my fragile eyes.

My mother has never worked, and the family has no source of income, but can live comfortably all the time.I accompanied her to clean the house every day, including the floor, cabinets, and windows.And then with her—maybe she with me, I snuggle up to her and watch the animation on TV.every day.

Peers is a story I never imagined, having been to kindergarten once.

In my memory, I saw strange green walls, strange teachers wearing aprons, under strange shadows, watching strange children playing and chasing in the sun.What is it that makes them happy?The stale air, rough, dark, unclean floor, saliva, rice grains, how can you leave footprints so happily?Teachers who are not real, their smiling faces will collapse after taking off their aprons, complaining about the children's troubles in their mouths, and they can even look directly at their ugly and hypocritical faces in the mirror.

I went home crying and never stepped out of the house again.

The outside world is so scary, the light is so dazzling that it wants to erode me.

My fifth birthday was spent on a plane.The wide, clean world above the clouds makes me want to stay there.

What is a country?What is the difference between Japan and China?Did the plane cross that ocean and cross a world?

My mother took my hand, led me to her, squatted next to my ear, and kindly taught me to call the man in front of me: "これ"Daddy"よ!" (This is Dad)

ばば? (baba) What a strange name.

I obediently called the man named "ばば".

My mother told me that the man who spoke the language he didn't understand said, "The kid is so shy."

I couldn't tell him that I was afraid of everything in this world except my mother. Even when I was talking to other people, I could feel the cold thorns around their bodies, terrible thorns that would stab me.It was not until much later that I understood the original meaning of that claim.

I was taken to the place where the man lived, and I asked my mother, when can I go home?My mother told me not to go back, this is our home now.She looked affectionately at the man beside her, but she didn't realize that I was holding the hand at the corner of her clothes all the time.

There are two people in the family waiting for our arrival.

The two women saluted each other politely.In a strange environment, every step I take, I feel that sharp blades will grow under my feet. How I wish my mother would pick me up and hold me in her arms, and stop letting me call strange names one by one. As far as I am concerned, as long as I don't have to see this unsettling world in my mother's arms, it is enough.

But once again, she pushed me to the front of people with a gentle but tough attitude. She pointed to the little boy in front of me who was much taller than me: "これわ" brother" よ, よんで!" (called "brother".)

"Brother..." Different languages, I have no idea what I'm talking about.I just want to finish the task quickly and return to my mother's arms, that safe place.

The boy on the opposite side was talking with the adults familiarly, and everyone grinned because of his words. I looked at them as if they were looking at a piece of happiness that belonged to others, and I didn't long for it.

He stretched out his puppet to hold me, trying to take me away from my mother's hand!He squinted and smiled, and pulled my hand vigorously, with undeniable strength, almost hurting me.But there was still an innocent smile on his face.He kept looking at his mother, as if confirming any address, he learned: "i, izimeiizumiwooooow!izumi!"

do not want to answer!do not want to answer!He has no idea who I am!I don't even want to know who he is!I want to go back!want to go home!Back to mother's side!Mother!Mother!

But when I turned around, she was looking at the face of the man behind her with those eyes, and she didn't notice that I was still holding her hand at the corner of her clothes.

It was the first night of my life without my mother by my side.

The nanny took a bath for me and the boy, and wrapped me in a soft towel. The nanny said to me kindly in Japanese: "Master, let the two young masters cultivate their relationship well. Young master, you must obediently listen to your brother."

I nestled in an unfamiliar bed, wrapped myself in a wet towel, and watched the boy still talking to the nanny with a bright smile on his face that I couldn't understand.Everyone seems to be laughing because of his loud mouth.

The moment the bedroom door was ruthlessly closed, my mother still didn't come to pick me up and leave.

I hid under the tiny halo of the dim night light and looked at the people around me as if I were facing a formidable enemy.He has no idea who I am!I don't even want to know who he is!

"Woo, Mom..." I saw the closed door and realized, Mom won't come again.The grievance and fear at that moment overwhelmed me. I hated my cowardly fear of the dark, which couldn't let me go through the darkness to find my mother; hated my short legs couldn't take me home.

"Hey!" The boy came up to poke me without authorization, and he pulled away the quilt that I relied on for self-defense, "..."

He said something to himself, I couldn't understand, and tried hard to get back under the covers.If only this annoying person disappeared!

However, he quietly brought something from the drawer, with a cautious look, as if taking out a carefully buried treasure.

I smell a rich aroma, warm and mellow, sweet with honey.

Unable to stand the temptation, I couldn't help stretching out my hand.But he smiled and took it away. He pointed to his nose and repeated a syllable to me: "ge, ge! ge, ge!"

He is the absolute strength in front of me, without giving in I can't get enough candy to soothe my wounded heart.I have tried to wrest the milk away with tears and stubbornness, but my humble tricks have yielded no results.He only wanted me to say "gege", and I actually chose to admit defeat.

I tried my best to learn that word: "ge, ge..."

For the first time, I felt that it was against my mother's lesson, and it didn't feel bad.Forget about what my mother said about "don't eat after brushing your teeth"!

Fortunately, I got that cup of warm milk.Fortunately, the sweet honey inside is indeed enough to heal my sadness after being abandoned.