pedestrian

Going out around noon, he insisted on wandering outside until late at night. This was the first time in Tao Ran's life that he was going to this extent in order to avoid people.Walking outside the hotel lobby, he already had a bad feeling. After walking a few more steps, he realized that he really couldn't hide.

Xu Yuan was sitting on the sofa in the lobby, accurately catching his looking around.

What else can I do, Tao Ran smiled wryly in his heart, went straight to him and asked, "Find a place to talk?"

Xu Yuan looked around at him, but he was not polite: "Let's go up together. You don't have enough clothes, it's cold."

When things came to an end, Tao Ran didn't care, and didn't bother to say that the room was not a place to talk.The worst is over long ago, taking ten thousand steps back, he just owes Xu Yuan the explanation he wants.

Perhaps in Xu Yuan's conception, breaking up and then resigning and disappearing is not the complete ending he imagined.Life has not taught him enough lessons to let him understand that many things, including love, are destined to be anticlimactic.

That's okay, I've finished teaching how to fall in love, and it's not too late to teach how to break up again.

The company's thinking was so strange that they booked a family suite with two bedrooms and a living room, and a big bed room for the three of them.In fact, it is impossible for any of them to live with each other. Later, Chang Zheng expressed his willingness to pay for another room, the big bed room was given to Tao Ran, and the suite belonged to Xu Yuan.

The decoration of the living room was paid attention to, and it was indifferent and exquisite everywhere. When Tao Ran sat down, he put on the armrest, and was frozen by the blunt relief, and quickly retracted his hand.

"Sorry, only cold water."

Xu Yuan handed over the cup, and Tao Ran took it: "It's okay, I'm not here to drink water."

A joke he made to ease the atmosphere caused Xu Yuan's complexion to turn gray quickly, like a unicorn whose horns were sawed off, suddenly losing its luster.

Worse than being cautious and ignoring is being able to do things with ease.To be able to say such words, Tao Ran must have dealt with the emotions last time.

Perhaps, it was all the emotions related to him, Xu Yuan, that had been dealt with.

Sure enough, this time, Tao Ran took the initiative.

"I drank alcohol last time, so it's my fault to say that you are too much."

Xu Yuanzai carefully observed his expression, trying to find a trace of connivance in it: "No, it's my fault that I walked into your door without saying hello."

"It's because I didn't change the password first. Let's not talk about this, I guess you are waiting for me, because you have something to ask me?"

After thinking for so long, Xu Yuan found that he was still extremely nervous when he really sat in front of Tao Ran.He held his fingers, the sticky and cold sweat did not make him feel better, so he forced himself to speak: "I just want to ask you, why."

Tao Ran looked into his eyes calmly: "Why did you break up, or why didn't you explain."

"...All of them, if you'd like to tell me."

"Okay, I'll answer the first one first. You're right. I didn't make this decision entirely because you moved my computer and sent that email to the old monster. People at work are selfish, and you There is nothing wrong with thinking about it. I have always been selfish. I think about myself and my work first, and then you. Leaving aside our relationship, your actions are not outrageous. At best, you are just like me, and I completely understand."

"then you……"

Xu Yuan couldn't help interjecting, but was interrupted by Tao Ran's raised finger: "Don't worry, let me finish. Since you want to hear what I mean, just listen carefully."

"But I have tolerated you over the past few years, and it has always been because you are different from me. Xu Yuan, you are actually very clear about this. At least when we first got together, you knew better than me why we came together .”

Indeed, in order to win his attention, Xu Yuan even said that it was enough for Tao Ran to accept his feelings, and he didn't want anything in return.It was this kind of courage to go forward and put everything in one's hands that finally softened Tao Ran's repeated rejection.

These words rushed to him like a tide, and soon filled his chest, depriving him of the courage to refute.

"You are different from me. You always regard me... us as the most important thing, so I can't bear to let you down. I don't agree with many of your practices. It's not a day or two. Seriously, I Feeling tired all the time."

Xu Yuan tightened his hand holding the cup: "You can tell me well, and I will change it."

"Then why bother." Tao Ran looked at him and smiled: "You are you, and I am me. You may not be wrong, and I may not be right. I don't want to change you."

—But you changed in the end, quickly and completely.Whether I want to or not.

"So all these years, it's your tolerance for me, isn't it? You just looked at me from a distance, didn't say anything when you were dissatisfied, and finally waited until I did something that was completely in line with your logic?"

Tao Ran was still smiling, but that smile had no warmth, only a little elusive melancholy.

"No, it's not in line with my logic. My logic is that you can be with me and use me, but you can't achieve the second point based on the first point. You have surpassed my limit. In this regard, you You are more talented than me, and you can do it well, and you will live well in the office in the future."

This conversation is like a slide to hell, once you step into it, you will never recover.Although it was futile, Xu Yuan still tried and grabbed Tao Ran's hand on the sofa.

"you……"

The turmoil in Tao Ran's eyes suddenly reminded him of the last sentence, don't bring yourself to shame.Apart from the identity of his ex-boyfriend, after all, he was his guide at work.With one look, the prestige is still there.

"Did you ever love me?"

The voice was too low, but it didn't prevent Tao Ran from hearing clearly.He just remained motionless, Ren Xu Yuan tightly clasped his fingers.

"We have been together for more than four years, not four days. Don't deny everything in the past just because we broke up. I didn't explain this before, and I wanted to leave some room for each other. If you agree with me, we don't actually need to It's so embarrassing to say."

Xu Yuan's strength was getting stronger and stronger, Tao Ran already felt a lot of pain, but he still didn't struggle.It's the last time, let him go.

The air was almost stagnant. After a long silence, Tao Ran sighed softly: "This kind of thing has never been as simple as love or not."

Xu Yuan raised his head, his unwillingness had already been burned to ashes, leaving only a bit of stubbornness: "Why not."

Tao Ran could only continue to sigh: "Well, I don't love you anymore, can you let me go?"

Xu Yuan couldn't speak anymore, his hands were shaking, and his whole body was as cold as a piece of ice.

He hated Tao Ran's silence and courteousness during this time.The other party's ease of retraction gave him a terrible illusion, as if the heartache, embarrassment, reluctance and hysteria were all his own business.Tao Ran was not involved in this matter.All the while, it never showed up.

But now, he tried every means and finally forced Tao Ran to get these extra words, only then did he realize that there are indeed some words in this world, it is better not to say them.

Leaving blank is kindness.

How painful is it to break up for the first time?Tao Ran looked at the heartbroken man in front of him with almost pity, and tried his best to recall his distant and vague last time.

At that time, I also insisted on asking to understand like him.It's a pity that the clouds and mountains are surrounded by fog, and it's hard to find the way when you come here.

In fact, every time, it will not be better.It is also fragmented in one place, and there will not be much difference because of the difference between each relationship.

One day, when Xu Yuan thinks of him again, he will be classified as one of the many ex-boyfriends.And then, like him, he will gradually forget even the pain, let alone the person himself.

I hope that fate will not torture him for too long.

I hope this day will come soon.