Jun Yong Mosheng

After sending Xiao Yong'er down the mountain, Xu Mosheng returned to Xiyin Temple. She stood in the temple and looked around carefully. There were green pines and green cypresses. No matter what happened outside, this place was still the same as before, as if isolated from the world.Staying at home in that guest room these past few days, she has dreamed more than once that Yong'er was leaning against the window, smiling at her brightly in the candlelight, but when the sound of chanting sutras sounded, she would After leaving, the hanging picture of "Buddha" was left empty in the room.

She got up and went to the Buddhist hall, burned incense, and knelt down on the futon. She looked up at the Buddha with drooping eyebrows and remained silent. After a long time, Xu Mosheng came back to his senses and kowtowed.

"Buddha, can your eyes always be so empty? If you look up at everything, can you still feel at ease?" She asked the Buddha statue to herself.

"Master asked me to go back to Wangshan to get rid of my demons. I thought I could do it. But when I arrived, the closer I was to Wangshan, the more I was afraid. I was afraid of meeting familiar people. I was afraid that they would ask me if I was doing well. Afraid they would say, "You stay here..." I changed my face outside the city before I dared to come back. I have been to Xu Mansion, Chunze Building, Academy... I just watched from outside the door, but dared not Enter, even if no one recognizes me as Xu Mosheng."

"I left with my lover, but now I come back alone. I don't know how to explain this..." She paused and continued, "Maybe no one needs me to explain anything, but I can't let it go."

"There is also the Buddha, she is not doing well, and I can't get around myself. Although I didn't see her that day in the Jiaowei Lane Medical Center, I knew she was coming as soon as she opened her mouth." There was another silence. , Xu Mosheng recalled the scene that day. Although she didn't look back at Shen Junlan, every move of that person had already surfaced in her mind.

"Mr. said that she loves with a clear conscience. She has always organized her emotions so well. Even if she won't disturb my love with Yong'er, she makes me cherish myself. But Buddha, I'm not Shen Junlan. I love you. Shame on you!" she said, sobbing softly.

"Amitabha," she turned her head when she heard the sound, and saw a novice standing behind her, "Mr. Xu, please forgive me, I accidentally overheard the conversation between you and the Buddha when I came to clean the Buddhist hall." The novice bowed to her with his hands folded .

Xu Mosheng didn't get up and looked back at the novice monk. His face was familiar, so she remembered, "Little Master, we've met before." She wiped away the tears on her face with her sleeve after speaking.

The novice raised his eyes and looked at the woman carefully, but couldn't remember for a while. "Oh, it happened a few years ago. That time I wore men's clothes and stayed here with a girl in the rain."

The novice seemed to think about it, and nodded slightly, "Then it really has a relationship with this temple. I haven't seen you for a long time."

Xu Mosheng also nodded, "Maybe I won't be able to see her anymore, it's a world of yin and yang." She said it leisurely.

"Amitabha..." The little novice understood the reason, and also went up to offer a stick of incense, "May the deceased reach bliss soon."

Xu Mosheng looked up at him and said, "Master, I think I am an ominous person. My mother lost my father, and I lost my lover. After that, I often become superstitious. Whenever I go to love, I will bring her No matter how difficult it is."

"So you have a guilty conscience about love?" the novice asked back, remembering what she said when she prayed just now.

Xu Mosheng shook his head, "I don't love purely, I can't let another person go in my heart, maybe I'm passionate, but I don't want to be promiscuous, I vaguely knew that she liked me, and I was also infatuated. But in my heart, a good relationship should be independent, but I didn't do it well."

"Buddhist scriptures say that there is nothing to worry about, and people in the world are advised to let go of the attachments in their hearts. If you are always burdened with right and wrong, good and evil, gains and losses, you will have no peace of mind. Only after letting go can you pick up the important things." The novice monk replied.

"I have no choice but to let myself die again and start over cleanly, right?" she asked.

The novice shook his head, "Almsgiver, you are too obsessed with life and death. If you want others to live in your heart, you must first repair the grave for the deceased in your heart. It is the so-called letting go, and it is what you call Feelings that stand alone."

Seeing that Xu Mosheng was thinking, the novice continued, "The Buddha pointed to the moon, but when sentient beings come here, they often just stare at the Buddha's hand, thinking that is the answer, and ignore the moon in the sky." He looked up at the benevolent man. Buddha statue, "Buddha can guide you and send you to the other shore, but you need yourself to return to this shore to find her. There is no ominous person. Donor, you are a doctor. You understand that aconite is poison, but you can use it correctly. Save people. If you have repaired the grave in your heart, go find the right person.”

"Is she the right person? Maybe it was when I met the person I wanted to take care of the most for the rest of my life at the age when I was the least able... I was afraid that I would delay her." She thought of Shen Junlan who was sleeping soundly that day in her mind.

"Benefactor, don't just look at the long road ahead and forget how long you have persisted to get here, but whatever you work hard for will be a gift in the future." The novice replied.

"Master, thank you. Love in the world should be joyful. If I make her feel painful, there must be something wrong. Let me think about it again..." She lowered her head and thought.

"Amitabha, people are always looking for a way to leave and a reason to stay." Seeing her lost in thought, the novice monk bowed and left the Buddhist hall, leaving her there alone.

She looked at her palm and put it on her chest again, "Yong'er, you are still here, like the rain that fell that year, with all my love in my heart, every word I said to you Really. But Yong'er, there was also a rain that my husband and I couldn't escape. She said that day about her life experience, her love for me, and her bad life because of me. The one I love is crying, I wish I could rush out of the veil and tell her that Mo Sheng is back, and I would like to exchange her for the rest of my life for 40 years to stop being sad."

Her hands trembled slightly, "But I endured it for life. I told Yong'er that this life is enough. I can't face my broken promise. She is not wrong. She didn't dare to come to me after you left. I asked my heart." Ashamed."

"I've lived so badly all these years, but I'm still treated kindly by you," Xu Mosheng raised her head to look at the Buddha, and she felt that the lofty Buddha was smiling at her with low eyebrows, "Xu Mosheng, from now on, you must pick up your courage and move forward From now on, I will no longer deceive myself, and from now on I must be worthy of the love with a clear conscience." Her eyes became firm and bright again.

The epidemic was over and the academy lifted the ban, Shen Junlan asked for the prescription back from the dining room, held it in his hand and looked at it carefully, always wanting to see something from it, "Shen Junlan, what are you thinking, how could she Became a doctor." She unconsciously laughed at herself being infatuated, but why did the underlined word "Lan" make people feel so confused.

The bell echoed in the temple, Xu Mosheng seemed to be awakened by the bell, straightened his back and kowtowed in the Buddhist hall, walked out of Qiyin Temple, as if walking out of the great loss, she looked in the direction of Wangshan City, That was her home, and it was her opposite bank. It seemed that after so long, she was finally willing to look up. The man was following her on the other bank, walking slowly, waiting for her to be brave.

She patted the dust on her body, got up and rushed back to Baijingcheng. She let go of some memories this day, and became much more transparent in the mist in the mountains. Much lighter.

"Sir, I will stand shoulder to shoulder with you one day. If you can't wait and choose someone else, I also hope that he is happy." Xu Mosheng felt that the road back to Taixue became easier.

The author has something to say:

Each character has its own chapter, Yong Er, Jun Lan has been written

I thought about a question, if I don't drive until the end, is that okay?

I really can't imagine Mr. Chenghuan's appearance...