not lonely

Seeing the disappearing figures of the two, Zhong Qianyi took a deep breath, turned around and stepped out of the airport hall.

He needs to blow cold air to wake himself up, why would he say those bastard words so unconscionably that made him want to slap himself in the face.

He was holding the phone, staring at the lit screen in a daze. In the cold winter weather, after sitting outside for a while, he felt his hands and feet were cold, but he didn't drive when he came, and he didn't bother to take a step at this moment, so he could only Continue to sit still.

Gu Zeyang's punch seemed to use [-]% of his strength, but it actually hit the face without much pain.What really made him sore all over was Gu Zeyang's words with infinite anger, like a blunt knife without a sharpened edge, grinding and cutting his heart inch by inch.

"Zhong Qianyi, you fucking rely on Du Mingcan to like you."

"You are arrogant over and over again, to sharpen Mingcan's heart, to challenge his tolerance, to ignore everything and everything he has paid for you."

"Break the heart, hurt the heart of a person who loves you, is that satisfying?"

"Zhong Qianyi, you will regret it..."

clack clack clack

Tears dripped unexpectedly on the blacked-out phone, Zhong Qianyi reached out to wipe it away, dripped it again, wiped it off again, dripped it again.It wasn't until the vision in front of him was blurred that Zhong Qianyi finally couldn't control his sobs, and bit his lip and began to cry.

Zhong Qianyi has already regretted it.

Such a good Du Mingcan, how could he be willing to let him go.Such a good Du Mingcan, how could he be willing to hurt him.

Sometimes he doesn't understand himself, and he hates himself extremely.

Time passed by every minute and every second, Gu Zeyang's flight had already taken off, but Zhong Qianyi could only sit withered in the icy cold wind, feeling the cold marble steps, Du Mingcan, who was irritated and hurt by him, could not just leave Give him a warm embrace without any grievances.

But in the final analysis, people always have more preference for themselves, not to mention all these things happen for a reason.He was more or less wronged, and also a little unwilling. He was not firm at all in what he said against his will.Could it be that the words that are spoken out without careful consideration are really so lethal that they can completely cover up everything that the two of them have walked together?Could it be that the sincerity in the past is false, and only the words in front of you are true?

When a person is cold, the desire to be warm is always stronger. Coupled with the ache in his body, he wants to stay away from this cold place even more.So when Zhong Qianyi saw the WeChat message sent by Shen Lu on his mobile phone, he instinctively wanted to take him home as the strongest life-saving straw at this moment.

Did not go to work today?Where have you been?

I'm at the airport, Shen Lu, I'm not feeling well, I'm not driving, is it convenient for you to pick me up?

In the airport lobby, Du Mingcan, who had sent Gu Zeyang away, stood in front of the window and recalled all the things he and Zhong Qianyi had gone through along the way.

If you don’t want to be angry or sad, he’s not a god, so he can’t do it.But after standing here calmly for a long time, now he is full of worries.

Does that person hurt from being punched?How can you go back if you are not by your side?It's so cold outside, the man is already weak, and he doesn't wear much clothes, will he freeze to death?

At that moment, sadness, grievance and anger still exist, but compared with worry, it seems extremely insignificant.

So, Du Mingcan went to the parking lot to pick up the car. When he drove out of the intersection, he looked at Zhong Qianyi who was sitting on the side of the road from the driver's seat, covering his eyes with one hand and weeping secretly. What surrounded his heart was Gu Zeyang when he was about to leave. words to him.

"Obviously, Zhong Qianyi likes you, but why he pushes you out again and again, I really don't understand. Maybe, his growing environment makes him always feel insecure, or Did you do something to make him feel insecure?"

"In short, shouldn't you two have a good talk?"

Often what really separates two people is not quarrels, but concealment.

Du Mingcan sighed, and turned off the car as if resigned to his fate.Before him and Zhong Qianyi, no matter how hard his heart was, no matter how scarred his soul was, he would be ruthlessly forgotten when he encountered the slightest weakness of that person.Probably because the more he cares, the more unlucky he is.

But before the car door opened, the person opposite gave him a blow to the head, forcing him to stop.

On the opposite side, by Zhong Qianyi's side, Shen Lu hurriedly ran over with big strides, holding his thick coat in his hand, stopped in front of him, carefully pulled him up, and put on the clothes for him.

The action of him putting on the clothes for him was extremely gentle, as if he was afraid that the person wrapped in the clothes would not hold his weight.Even though Shen Lu turned his back to him, Du Mingcan could still feel his eyebrows furrowed because of anger mixed with distress, and the suffocation that he swallowed it all because he wanted to yell.

Just like himself at this moment.

Shen Lu took Zhong Qianyi's hand, that person must have been really frozen, the hand that was not being held shrank into the sleeve of his coat, and Shen Lu led him into the car.

Du Mingcan seemed to have fallen into an ice cellar, no matter how high the heater was turned on, it couldn't warm his frozen heart.

He opened Gu Zeyang's WeChat chat, moved his fingers feebly to leave a message for him, and cried while writing.

"You are wrong, Zeyang, you are wrong, we are all wrong..."

"It has nothing to do with the sense of security, and it has nothing to do with misunderstandings. The most essential problem between us is that there is no love...he pushed me away...because he doesn't love me..."

"If it's Shen Lu...if it's Shen Lu who confessed to him...if it's Shen Lu who's been chasing him...he won't push him away at all, there's no reason to push him away..."

"It was a gamble from the beginning, because my bet was too high, so he couldn't escape..."

"What he gave me was a debt, not love at all..."

It was him, in another accident, extremely lucky to be by his side when he was weakest, to appease his fear, save his life, hold his hand and threaten him, if you are not with me Together, we will die together...

Zhong Qianyi is such a kind person, he can only give in under his threat,

It is submission, compromise, resignation, coercion, not love.

Isn't it love?

If kissing and hugging are not because of love, if fear of separation is not because of love, if you care too much about the other person's feelings, it is not because of love, if you are obviously selfish and obviously jealous but dare not let him know that it is not because of love, what is love?

On the other side, Zhong Qianyi sat in the co-pilot without saying a word, letting Shen Lu drive the car in the direction of Du Mingcan's house.

"You go to him in a while, and the two of you have spoken thoroughly. It's not a big deal in the first place, and there's no need to hurt yourself for such a trivial thing."

"Shen Lu," Zhong Qianyi said leisurely, "If I said, I really hope that Du Mingcan can be with Zeyang, would you believe me?"

Shen Lu glanced at him, but he still tilted his head and leaned on the back of the chair, expressionless as if it was Shen Lu's own auditory hallucination just now.

"What's the matter with you two?"

"Because I suddenly felt that in this world, it might not be me who can make Mingcan happy...Zeyang...can do better..."

"What kind of bullshit logic are you talking about? How do you know that Du Mingcan is not happy with you? His usual grin goes behind his ears. Do you think he is unhappy? How do you know to push him to someone else? be happy"

"But in the future, who knows?"

"What is the future? You can't even take care of your present, and you still have the mind to worry about his future?" Shen Lu raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Take a step back, if one day you two really separate, then It's easy to get together and get together. They are all men, so there is no need for mother-in-law."

It's easy to say, but it's really hard to do.

Shen Lu pulled Zhong Qianyi out of the car, let him go upstairs alone, and stayed in the car to wait for him.However, Du Mingcan was not at home, and Zhong Qianyi rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered, so he had to lower his head and go downstairs again.

He wanted to explain, but he didn't know how to explain, he wanted to see him, but he was afraid of seeing him, he felt a little disappointed, but also a little lucky.

This complicated feeling didn't last long. When he walked out of the unit, before he had time to take a step towards Shen Lu's car, he saw Du Mingcan's X6 driving past like wind. The rampage in the community did not even park the car in the fixed parking space.

Zhong Qianyi froze in place, at a loss for a while, and just about to go up to Du Mingcan's side, he saw him get out of the car aggressively, and came to Zhong Qianyi's side in three steps at a time.

Not long after, Du Mingcan's face showed many expressions that Zhong Qianyi had never seen before.

At first, it was sad and helpless, but then there was a playful wry smile, and then, the brows were tightened because of anger, and finally, it returned to the sad feeling of bowing its head and silently.

Zhong Qianyi understands that he is not willing to lose his temper with him, even if the soaring anger in his heart is about to break through his body, he still has to do his best to suppress it. Willing to send it to Zhong Qianyi.

Seeing that the two met, Shen Lu knew that staying here would only deepen the misunderstanding between the two, so he started the car and turned around to leave.

What he did today was not because of generosity, not because he looked away, and not because he no longer had him in his heart, but he knew in his heart that there are many kinds of love, and if he desperately wants to hold it in his hands, it is not necessarily worse than love. Let go and let him find true happiness is thicker and deeper.

Since he doesn't love me, I'll love him in another way.

"Ming Can..." Zhong Qianyi called him cautiously, he still lowered his head, then, forced himself, bent the corner of his mouth, and raised his head to look at Zhong Qianyi.

From the messy hair, to the forehead covered by bangs, to the slightly frowned brows, to the crystal eyes, to the smooth and delicate skin, to the lips bitten by him, then tilted his head and reached out to touch his sensitive skin. His ears, his ticklish neck, seemed like a ritual, and finally, he put his hands back to the cheek where Gu Zeyang had punched him, and stroked it carefully.

"Zeyang's attack was neither light nor heavy. Does your face still hurt?"

Zhong Qianyi reached out to cover his hand, shook her head desperately, couldn't stop feeling distressed, obviously Du Mingcan was the one who got hurt, right?Why, why did the first sentence of greeting come to care about him, the executioner?

"It doesn't hurt anymore, Mingcan, it doesn't hurt, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Xiaoyi..." Du Mingcan was still smiling, moved his hand away from Zhong Qianyi's face, and grabbed his hand with his backhand, "I know, this question may make you a little embarrassed, but I have thought about it for a long time, and I have thought about it a lot , In the past few hours, I have experienced countless entanglements, self-denial, and imagined a hundred kinds of things I should say when I meet you, but in every case, the final result is the same...

"I imagined all the possibilities, and every possibility told myself, I can't, can't, can't let you go...

"I know you may not like me that much now, I am not good enough, there is no way for you to accept me so quickly from the bottom of your heart, but, but can you... can you give me some more time, don't break up, don't push me away , I will work hard, try hard to make you trust me, try hard to make you fall in love with me, okay?

"It's hard for me to be with you, but I can't, just let you go..."

Zhong Qianyi felt that he was about to suffocate, how could he make Du Mingcan humbled to such a state, lowered his superior attitude to love him, and did not blame him for being hurt by him, and maintained the relationship between the two with the most pious heart .

What is it about him that can be worthy of Du Mingcan's many good things?Let him restrain all his pride, and turn his head to comfort him even though he was hurt?

Zhong Qianyi couldn't restrain her distress any longer, she put her feet around Du Mingcan's neck, and hugged him tightly in her arms.

Can you stop thinking about the future?Is it okay to be selfish?Such a Du Mingcan, how could he not love him.