because you broke into my lens

Shan Ran cast her eyes on the other party, the softness released in her eyes seemed to be able to completely surround the woman on the opposite side, the corners of her mouth moved, but she was reluctant to utter a word, she was afraid that an inadvertent abrupt word of hers would attract people The woman on the opposite side was more hurt, so she chose a listener position.A listening position that allows the other party to pour out and release.

I remember a philosopher said: Love is the history of a woman's life, but it is just an episode for a man. When I stepped out of the door of marriage, I just didn't want to be the eternal person of this history. In turn, making men an episode in my life...

At that time, a man's love was like wine in a wine glass to me. Unfortunately, it could only bring me temporary happiness, and it would not last long. Without the shackles of marriage, I was like a little girl who just wanted to spread its wings and fly high. The bird fully satisfies the physical needs of a trampling woman, allowing the hormones to burst out perfectly in my body. At that stage, my spirit is always hyperactive. It can also be said that I am paralyzing myself with this hyperactivity, so that I don't want to touch the pain of a woman after losing her home and child...

But I finally found that the time of this kind of excitement is getting shorter and shorter for me, it is like taking drugs, the duration and the speed of change always make people feel more and more disappointed.I was eager to pass so many long and boring hours, changing the man on the bed like changing clothes. I even thought that I was looking for the kind of love that everyone is looking for. In fact, I was using this I have to say that this kind of crazy behavior also comes from the kind of punishment Rene gave me. When I first divorced, he didn’t even let me step into the house in order to get revenge on me. Visit my children.

As she spoke, she fell into deep thought, her eyes filled with a kind of wandering and confused sadness...

One year I was in a bad situation. I had a boyfriend who was a pilot. I didn't expect that his interest in women was shorter than mine. Maybe it wasn't friends who didn't get together. Our relationship lasted less than two years Zhou, he left without saying goodbye, and my "love" for him has not really receded at this time, his indifferent departure made me feel very hurt for the first time, and at this time, my mother She was also admitted to the hospital because of the terminal stage of cancer. At that time, she had decided to give her last time to euthanasia, so she contacted a hospital in Switzerland.Since the divorce, my contact with my mother has become more frequent. When I heard the news, I felt that the end of the world was coming, and the only relative around me was leaving this world.At that time, I seemed to have fallen into the abyss of eternal doom.At the same time, my body also experienced a kind of collapse like being hollowed out, and this state lasted for a while. On the one hand, I went to comfort and take care of my mother, hoping to make her last time stay unsatisfactory. As for being too bad, my mental and physical strength has become increasingly unbearable.I also often think that if I don’t die quickly, come and save me, I will be extinct... Fatigue and decadence have almost torn me apart, disintegrated, and the only shelter is to die!

Finally, this "opportunity" was waiting for me. I had a car accident. When I woke up, my doctor told me a more unexpected news. Only then did I know that the train of my life was already in dilapidated condition. , It’s just that this car accident fortunately made me know more. I have entered the ranks of HIV positive (positive) “gloriously”. I think it should be the crime committed by the pilot who left me, but it was too late. What's even worse is that he didn't get into the show at all, but I lost myself first.Perhaps this also corresponds to the saying that those who swim in sin will surely sink in sorrow.

As she spoke, her tone became brighter.There is a kind of excitement from the inside out in the eyes,

Maybe God will mercifully open another window for you after closing a door for you. Because of this car accident, I got the sympathy of my ex-husband. Opportunities for children to meet.

The excitement of seeing my children again made me start to dread the end of the world, as if a ray of sunshine had shone into my darkened room... I started to have a strong desire to survive.For the sake of my children, I think I should make a fundamental change. Today's me should give up yesterday's me.Maybe everything that doesn't destroy me will also make me stronger. I began to actively work for myself in cooperating with treatment and finding the best treatment plan...

As she spoke, she pointed to her fake headgear, smiled and said; Can you still see that I am a patient now?If I don't say anything, you will never think of it. Although my hair is about to fall out due to the side effects of the medicine, I can use it to return to a normal "lady" state.

She began to look at the setting sun covered by dark clouds in the distance, and said to herself:

Although the sun in front of me is a little blurry, it will rise and report for duty tomorrow as usual.Now you should understand why I'm here, right?

The woman put the false head back on, combed it back with both hands, and began to tilt her head and ask Shan Ran with a smile,

Hearing Shanran here, it was as if a ray of light flashed in front of her eyes. This fleeting light beam brightened her eyes, opened her locked heart just now, and eased the doubts in front of her. Slowly, she seemed to have understood the purpose of this unfortunate woman coming here.Now she not only sympathizes with this woman, but also begins to respect the unexpected guest in front of her. This wounded German woman communicates with herself with her conscience and kindness, which makes her feel a wave of shock Warm and touching, she said in a calm but vivid tone that was unfamiliar to herself;

You... the purpose of coming here, I finally understand a little bit now, maybe I misunderstood you a little before... now I know... you don't want this kind of retribution of good and evil to continue to come again, because you have already experienced it painfully After all these, you don’t want to hurt and wrong another innocent person, maybe this... is what people call the cycle of heaven, and the retribution is clear... because anyone who betrays kindness will receive retribution !

Maybe it's more for my children, money is good, but I don't want them to be like me...

Her plain tone seemed to be speaking to the woman on the other side or to herself, but this plainness shocked the two little birds that were fighting for food and staying on the ground...