because you broke into my lens

The scorching sun of midsummer afternoon shone obliquely on the woman's hand and the paper she was holding through the gap between the huge parasols. I don't know whether her hand was held for too long, or it was caused by the temporary silence between the two women. Feeling suffocated, her hand holding the paper began to tremble slightly. At this moment, there were two women's gazes on the A4 paper, but they had different thoughts.

Shanran's eyes kept wandering on the paper, as if she wanted to find other things on the paper besides these few lines, although she had already understood and memorized these few lines, but because of Disturbed by this sudden plot, the ordinary lines of words that fell before her eyes made her heart feel as if a small stone had been thrown into it, and waves suddenly appeared.Her wandering eyes seemed to be constantly digesting these elusive and somewhat weird words, as if she was trying to make up for the puzzle, she began to ask questions of her own doubts,

If I guessed correctly, this piece of paper should have been left to you by your ex-husband. I would like to ask how long have you had this piece of paper?

The woman's eyes slowly wandered away from the paper, and her eyes fell on a pot of yellow fuchsias on the window sill of the coffee shop that had faded under the scorching sun. Her eyes seemed to be filled with unbearable loneliness.Like an answer or a self-talk;

Yep, you guessed it, that's what Rene has left, for about half a year.Excuse me!I'm feeling bad right now,

She looked at the paper held in the palm of her hand again with her eyes, and said slowly and in a low voice;

Seeing it is like seeing him again. I have never thought of him so much in his lifetime. Now the time is reversed. Every day I think about it is a happy time together. If time can be turned back How nice it would be, sometimes we are blindfolded by our own hands, thinking that the outside world is wonderful, but in fact it doesn't match your fantasy at all.It does not allow you to magnify your happiness at all.In fact, some people we scold for being incompetent, but we really love them.In the final analysis, our love was lost to time, to the youthful years that are too trivial to be specific... If time can let me start again, I think I must choose the kind of life that I once abandoned, and put the past Guilty for his recompensation to him.

The woman was nagging and confessing her past life to herself, but these were obviously not what Shanran wanted to hear the most now, she followed her own train of thought and impatiently started to ask her own questions;

If you don't mind, allow me to ask again, what kind of problems did he encounter?Just like the message conveyed on this piece of paper, he seemed to be in a bad state of mind at that time, as if he had encountered a predicament that he could not escape or resist.If I'm not mistaken, he seems to be in a very bad situation.

Hearing this, she looked at Shanran again with a strange look, maybe it was too sudden, she hadn't filtered it in her brain, and then nodded her head, as if agreeing with Shanran's analysis just now, Then, as if realizing something again, he immediately closed his mouth hesitantly.

At this time, the two people who were sitting face to face were faced with the touch of a sensitive topic, and the silence was once again filled temporarily. Empty slowly.

At this time, there were two children on the coffee table next to them, wearing sunglasses one size smaller, enjoying the tempting ice cream silently in the sun. My mother looked at them with a sweet face, which was full of love and joy. tenderness.

Seeing this, the German woman seemed to touch something. Finally, she broke the temporary silence and began to speak freely.

In fact, coming here means that I have let go of everything, and I don’t want to escape any more. I don’t think I can make a second mistake. If this mistake is still caused by me, I will not be able to forgive myself again, and I am sorry for my two lovely friends. Daughter, it's just that for me to say it immediately, it's always a little abrupt and unwilling to touch.

Last summer, one day I suddenly received an email from him in my mailbox. The letter was very short and seemed to be in a hurry. He didn't even send a polite greeting as usual, let alone greet me as usual. situation!

What I want to say is that for a long time before this, he didn’t know why he suddenly cut off contact with me. I asked my children about my father’s abnormalities, but unfortunately they didn’t know anything about it. In this email, he Suddenly asked me, can you arrange for the child to stay with me two days or more per week, he wrote that of course this is not an order, and he will also compensate me in accordance with the regulations in terms of finances. This email made me feel a lot ; also some routine stuff; like maybe he has found a new love, or it’s time to talk about marriage, so he can’t spend too much time with the children, I even thought he might be Planning a trip around the world that I've dreamed of for a long time, only to deliberately avoid thinking about the existence of other reasons.

Looking at this inexplicable email, although I thought of all kinds of possibilities, I was still willing to hear his voice telling me on the phone. I didn't have time to reply him in the email, so I immediately picked up the phone and called him. To my surprise, he didn't answer. I had a premonition that he seemed unwilling to let me know more...

When I went to pick up the child, he also tried his best not to let me see him. He didn't contact me again until half a year ago. One day he asked the child to bring me a letter. This letter is The letter you are holding now,

It's just that this letter is also like that email, ephemeral and elusive, but the difference is that when I saw this letter again, I immediately had to pick up the things I was least willing to think of before. Come back, because I realize the seriousness of the matter, I can't escape some things, maybe there is only one kind of pain in this world that is unbearable, it exists independently, there is no one, and there is no exception!I wake up to the fact that I have to face some kind of cruel reality now. For the sake of two underage children, I have to face this reality that I don't want to admit!