The Cat's Inheritance

"Spartan Memoirs Chapter 61," Ali writes, "How to Be a Mischievous But Lovely Cat."

"Today I'm going to share with you a few helpful tips to help you become a better, cuter cat.

If you want to ask me, am I a docile cat?the answer is negative.Spartan will never be an obedient cat!forever!

But as you can see, my human being loves me, I mean, the most loving kind of love in the world.I know you're all wondering how I did it - I must have other advantages besides the innate advantage of being extraordinarily cute.Yes, you are absolutely right.

Now, I'm going to share with you my secret to staying cute forever.If you are a kitten who has taken over or is about to take over a human family, if you have not yet had a clear idea of ​​your role in the future, I believe the following words will be helpful to you.

——Of course, if you are a radical cat rights activist, who thinks that the art of taking over humans is essentially a violation of cat rights, and that cats will never be able to get along with humans happily, I don’t think you are suitable for reading my article , please take your tail and go away, right now!

Well, let's assume that you are a friendly cat who is studious and likes humans.First, you need to understand that you have the right to be naughty.Any cat, whether it's a small cat or a big cat, has the right to remain a child. You can be playful, you can play tricks, and you can even do some harmless bad things.

You don't have to feel awkward or uncomfortable, it doesn't seem right to be so naughty.Let me tell you a little secret, human beings want us to do this, yes!In fact, they liked our takeover largely because their lives weren't terribly interesting.They have all kinds of troubles, and nine out of ten troubles are strange troubles that cats can't understand.Also, the older humans get, the more troubles they have.They can't perceive the world like a kitten-think how interesting the world is to us-and so are willing to share our happiness with them, although sometimes this sharing will not be so peaceful. The way we do it, they will be angry for a while, but when they come back, they will forgive us and be genuinely happy.

That's what our work is about.

If you don't believe me, look down at yourself.what can i seeFluffy paws and a floppy belly!Do you feel happy?certainly!This is who we are as humans see us.

What I said is not fabricated out of thin air, I am an educator, and all the theories I said are derived from my own practical experience.If you still don't believe it - what a bunch of stubborn cats - I would like to share a little story that happened in my life.

You all know that my miu is good - if you don't know or have forgotten, please click on the first sixty chapters of my memoir, read it carefully and take notes - but, so good Meow, sometimes it will make the cat very distressed.Miwu's biggest bad habit is his extraordinary love and attention to computer black boxes.

In fact, many human beings have this bad habit. Even though there are live cats in front of them that they can play with, they stubbornly immerse themselves in the virtual world and chat with those humans who are far less cute than cats. get up.Their unhealthy routine also affects the cat's progress to a certain extent.If humans don't sleep at night, we cats can't go to class.If they don't get up during the day, we can't have a delicious dinner that is ordered on time.

Miwu has done a remarkable job in the fact that human beings work and rest. You can give him a score of four to four and a half claws.However, he enjoyed 'playing games' on the computer black box.This kind of game is not a routine for our cats: scratching the sofa, pouncing bugs, running from the bedroom to the living room and then quickly back to the bedroom from the living room, or pushing the water glass off the table and so on.Humans don't play these fun games, they like to play virtual games on the Internet.Endlessly wasting energy and time for things that cannot be seen, touched, eaten, or touched.

It sounds silly, but Miwu does get a little too obsessed for a while.His attention to human games once surpassed his attention to me, and he could not look at me or touch me for two hours a night, even if I spread my belly and lay on his lap—— Mouse Cats can be tolerated but not.

So, I thought about it for a whole week and planned a perfect revenge plan: I want to run away from home.

Ah, run away from home, what an attractive word for cats.I'm sure you all secretly planned a thrilling runaway in your teens or even middle age.But most cats who have this idea are not cautious enough, nor smart enough, not fully prepared before implementing the plan, so they don't end up enjoying the fun of running away from home, and some cats even have to end with a tragic parting .

I am different.I am very smart.I hope you are as smart a cat as I am.My plans are not blind or random.I have thought carefully and calculated carefully.

I chose an afternoon at the turn of spring and summer to start my great plan.It was a good season, neither the drizzle of spring nor the flames of summer.That way you don't have to worry about rain-soaked fur -- which you'll have to spend half an hour or more grooming -- or scorched ground to burn your paws.Believe me, bad weather for cats is often an unpleasant experience, and it can take away from the fun of running away from home.You can choose to implement your escape plan on a sunny, dry and pleasant afternoon.

Before I set off, Miwu didn’t know—hey, this silly Miwoo—he fed me a canned beef, which I liked very much, and I ate it to my heart’s content, which meant that I could be in about half a day. When you are full, you don't have to worry about your stomach.As for what happens after half a day, please, you are a cat, you need to figure out your own way.

The night before I left, I didn't do my homework, nor did I stay up late to read a book. I slept in the arms of a human being and had a good night's sleep to ensure that I had enough mental activity the next day.After eating the canned food, I squinted for a little while and took a nap.Therefore, after stretching my waist and doing a few simple warm-up exercises, I can set off in good spirits.

Once your body is in tip-top shape, there is one more thing you need to do to make your away-from-home adventure feel more ritualistic and spiritual.For example, you can find a souvenir to take away.I chose a new collar given to me by humans, which is a gift for Children's Day.Although I don't know why humans celebrate cubs and set up a special festival for it, I still like it and decided to wear it as a souvenir.

Before leaving - remember this is very important, please take notes if necessary - before leaving, be sure to use the softest part of your body to gently rub your human body, pant legs or hands, and then Tease him for a while, and even sacrifice your hairy belly.Even if you usually disdain to play childish kissing games with humans, at this time, I suggest you let go of your stubbornness and let your humans get a moment of satisfaction.But pay attention, even when you are indulging your human beings, you must control your expressions and manners. You must not show an idiot and rude demeanor, and you must show your most perfect side in front of human beings.Let him get your taste, let him see your cute acting like a baby, let him be complacent.That way, when he finds out that you've run away, he'll be hit with grief, and his sadness will be heightened: Oh, what a lovely kitten I lost.

This is a cat's birth trick. It is sad to lose something beautiful.

If you're a total house cat who never or rarely goes outside, you may need some extra preparation.For example, you need to figure out the time of human negligence.Believe me, humans are far more sloppy than you think.They are always very confident, thinking that everything is under their control, but in fact the opposite is true, and sometimes they make naive mistakes.When they make a mistake, it's a good time for you to implement your plan.

But if your human is very fragile, or you are a cat with no sense of direction, I strongly recommend that you do not try the naughty way of 'running away from home', after all, any naughty may be accompanied by danger, and leave Your humans, obviously, are the most dangerous kind.

Well, assuming you are a determined, smart cat like me, and you are well prepared, then you can take the first brave step with me and realize your great plan of running away from home up.

Oh wait, there's one more important step I didn't cover, and that's the time frame of the plan.What?You don't know what a time limit is?Listen to me, any plan has a time limit, otherwise it cannot be a great plan, because too many uncertainties often lead to failure.

The time I set for my 'away from home' schedule was four hours.The average time I usually go out to play is half an hour to an hour, which is about the time you take a nap.If this time is exceeded, my human will be worried.If sleeping is one paw, then four hours is almost four paws.That sounds just right, no more and no less.

I counted the angle of the sun, which was now over my head, on the tip of my right ear.When it slides to the other side of the sky and hangs on the tip of my tail, I can retrace my steps and comfort my humans.

I am confident that this is going to be a great trip.

The route I chose is familiar to me every day, and I have walked on this path countless times.I will first come to the small building where Miwu and I live, walk along the flowerbed full of stinky weeds to the center of the community, pass the big pear tree, and avoid a large piece of stupid dog territory— - there's a lot of weird shit smells here, it makes cats sick - and ends up going through a piece of iron fence.At this time, I will come to the edge of the Miwu world, and if I go outside from here, my human scent will become very weak, and I will enter a brand new world.

This is what I recommend you to do, keep each of your adventures within the territory you are familiar with, and it is best to choose a route that is not too far from home, familiar to you, and very interesting.In this way, you can play to your heart's content without worrying about finding your way back.

Then again, what should you do if you are really lost?Needless to say, during my great journey away from home, I did meet such unreliable kind, and not only one.

The first one looked like a guy who went out without making a plan. He was a blue cat and white, and a fat man. His whole face revealed a sense of stupidity.I heard from my good friend Dai Mochi before that this kind of cat is very popular in human society and is also very expensive.But I don't think cats should be classified according to the so-called pedigree.Isn't a raccoon cat like us not good-looking?Humans are really stupid.

The little fat man told me his name is Ergouzi.Hahahaha Meow Meow, Er Gouzi, this is such a stupid name.Er Gouzi's story is very simple. As I expected, he didn't make a good plan and slipped out of the house while humans were taking out the trash. He didn't know the way and couldn't go back after wandering for a long time.

"When did you get lost?" I asked Er Gouzi.

Ergouzi counted for a long time with his paws, and told me with uncertainty that it might be two days, because he was already hungry.

Well, two days.Although it wasn't very long, for a domestic cat that grew up in a human's house and looked stupid, two days of wandering outside safely was considered a pass.I happened to have nothing to do, so I decided to reach out and help him.

As I said, I'm a smart cat with a plan.Any decision I make is methodical and well-thought-out.I said that I wanted to help Er Gouzi, not on a whim, but after careful consideration.First of all, I questioned Er Gouzi carefully to squeeze out any clues about his family from his memory.As we all know, our cats are very sensitive to the sun. By judging the angle between the sun and our location, we can always find the direction and judge the distance.This instinct can help us survive better in the wild.

But obviously, Er Gouzi disappointed his instinct as a cat at this point.He doesn't remember any useful clues, the only thing he can remember is that he has a lot of delicious canned food in his house.This is crap, I have a lot of delicious cans at home too, and I have super nice humans at home too!

Er Gouzi can't be counted on, but it doesn't matter, this is not very different from my plan, and I didn't plan that this stupid cat would be useful.It looked like I'd have to get him home entirely on my own.

As far as I know, cats who voluntarily leave human families will be missed by humans.They will post cat hunting notices around and provide contact information.In two days, enough humans posted cat hunting notices all over the city.I can read human characters, which is my advantage.

So, for the next time, I took Er Gouzi to wander around the neighborhood.Er Gouzi should not have gone too far. His range of activities in the past two days is not large. As long as we draw a circle along his range of activities, it should be easy to find traces left by humans in the circle.In order to prevent Ergouzi from being stupid enough to lose himself again, I told him to follow closely, and warned him that if any stranger approached him, he must run away as soon as possible.

"Although I don't want to admit it, in the eyes of humans, you are very valuable, and it is not a good thing for you to be caught." I am not threatening him. My experience in cat life is rich enough, and I know many secrets that cats don't know .

If among the cats reading this memoir, like Er Gouzi, there is a guy with rare blood and stupid nature, I hope you can hear my advice, that is: don't be overconfident.

Our goal is very simple, to find all the paper posted on the poles or walls.These papers filled with human writing are often posted so high that I have to jump to see them.But the time I can stay in the air after jumping up is too short to read all the text.So, I had to jump up, twist, take a quick glance, fall, jump up again, and repeat.

Er Gouzi lay on the side laughing with his feet on his back.

I am angry.I admit that this pose is really stupid for a heroic cat.But who am I all because of!I decided to scratch Ergouzi and one paw.After scratching the cat, I felt much better, and from the few lines of text I saw, I judged that this was irrelevant news.The house with the humans seems to be in a good location and cheap.What is there to post a notice to show off this kind of thing?Humans are really weird.

Er Gouzi and I stopped and went and saw no less than ten human notices.Finally, useful clues were found near a residential area.

Looking for a cat, Er Gouzi, thank you very much.

This information is enough for me to be sure that Er Gouzi's humans did not give up on him.I spent a little more energy, jumped over and over a dozen times, and finally saw the human connection method clearly.It's not easy, and when I'm done, I almost puff my paws out.

With a specific address, it means we can ask for help.Many of the nearby stray cats are knowledgeable and understand the surrounding environment quite well.Just a little asking and we'll get directions in no time.

On the way home, Er Gouzi's four paws were trembling.He said he was excited, but I thought he was hungry.

But when it comes to this, I also feel vaguely hungry.Originally, the cans of meow were enough to support my activities in the afternoon.It's a pity that the act of helping Er Gouzi find a home has seriously exhausted my physical strength.Soon, this vague sense of hunger turned into intense dissatisfaction.My belly started to rebel!

Fortunately, when he arrived at Ergouzi's neighborhood, his instincts finally worked. He only lost his way twice before he found his way back home.

I watched Er Gouzi's fat body disappear from the corridor. He ran very fast, which was not easy compared to his size.I suddenly had a sore nose and thought of my meow.

When cats are hungry, their willpower will indeed become weak.

But if I'm not mistaken, I'm only halfway through the end of my four-hour runaway.I can't give up easily.

I walked out of Ergouzi's neighborhood slowly, stopped at the intersection, and used the tips of my ears and tail to make a positioning to make sure I wouldn't get lost.Then, I walked slowly in the opposite direction from home.Maybe, before I turn back, I'll have one more great adventure.It would be even better if I could grab something to eat during this adventure.

I came to a human park.I was very cautious, looking for natural shelters such as grass mounds with a low body to prevent being discovered by humans.I hope to sneak quietly to the tree and dig out a bird's nest to fill my stomach.

Just as I was waiting for an opportunity to climb the tree, my nose suddenly sent out a sweet signal.

It's canned!

And it's not just any ordinary vulgar can!

It's my favorite beef and chicken flavored can!

It's the canned food that Miwu bought for me!

My paw involuntarily scratched in the direction of the can.I swear, I've never run so fast.Although my limbs are already limp from hunger, my willpower is high.

can!can!

Seriously, humans should consider writing a poem about the can.Oh forget it, how can humans know the beauty of canned food?They are all too superficial.Maybe I should write another one.Maybe, but the most important thing right now is—

can!can!

It was really a can, placed in front of me.It's my favorite flavor.It even came open with the mouth of the can cut so flat that I didn't have to worry about it scratching my chin and nose.

I hesitate.Because my education tells me that I can't eat things of unknown origin.I stopped clawing, even though my drool was already flooding the fur on my chest.I have to think about it.

Well, there's nothing wrong with the smell of this can, it's fresh and there's no weird smell.I'm starting to waver.The most important thing is that I vaguely smelled the smell of meow from the delicious meat smell.I must be so hungry, my eyes are dim and delusional.How did miu appear?Miu may be worried about me, but will never know where I am.

A serious Tmall battle unfolded in my heart.In the end, the balance in my heart tipped over to the side of the can.

Perhaps, it was the unique smell of meow that made me lose my mind.It's dangerous.But don't give me much thought, my body has made a choice.

Canned is delicious!

If my head is not a bit big, I really want to bury myself in it, so that the hair on my body will stick to the strong smell of canned food.

Cat life is wonderful!

After licking the can, I stayed where I was for a while, and after noticing that there was nothing wrong with my body, I resumed my adventure with confidence.

I think I must be possessed by a degenerate god—I read from books that human beings believe in such strange gods, human beings are so pitiful—because I finished eating the canned food, I was going to clean myself up and find I took a nap in a deserted place, and was found by other cats.

Another stupid lost cat.

I heard from other stray cats that you just helped a cat that was lost from home find its way back, you are so amazing, can you help me?I have been lost for three days.

Do you think that if you praise me like this, I will be happy and I will agree?

Damn, I spent another hour helping this stupid cat with a tail as big as a squirrel find its way home.This is much faster than my last time, which I am somewhat relieved.Even luckier, I picked up another can for nothing on the way.tasty.

What a lucky day!

Soon I stopped thinking about it that way.As more calls for help followed, a long line of cats formed in front of me.

I'm really going to be angry, how can there be so many stupid cats in the world?Why are there so many stupid people?

I decided to number all the cats who came to ask for help, and let them line up one by one.I led the team of stupid cats through most of Maochun City, and came to Miwu's shop.There will be reliable humans out there who can help with these problems.

I am exhausted.

While helping cats is a good thing to do, right now I feel like I'm the one who needs help.It's such a long way home, and I've been walking for so long that my paws are tired and swollen.

Ugh, I'm starting to miss my meow.If it was normal, he should have given up the game and prepared dinner for me by this time.After dinner, he would hug me, brush me, and play games with me for a while.I'd cuddle into his arms and purr for a while, then rub my scent all over him.

Miu-

I couldn't help howling.It's very inelegant, but I'm just a cat and cats can feel vulnerable too.

And then, like what humans call magic, my meow appeared!

He was wearing a strange hat with a big brim covering half of his face.He stood on the corner of the street, looking at me quietly through the crowd, with a familiar smile on his face.

It's really meow!

Suddenly, a wave of strength surged from my body, and my strength began to become stronger, endless.I walked towards Miwu, at first I walked very slowly, then I walked faster and faster, and finally, I started to run.The wind is blowing by my ears, I can't hear anything, I can't see anything.

All I know is that my Miwu is waiting for me with open arms.

I plunged into the arms of the human being, and rubbed against him vigorously, suddenly feeling wronged.

Meow meow——

Miwu's hand was warm and powerful, dispelling my soreness bit by bit.

"Is it fun?" he asked me softly.

Is not fun!I wanted to reply to him loudly, but my voice was already hoarse.I stroked my tail, stretched out my paws, opened them up, and gestured for meow.You see, my paws are swollen.

Miwu was very discerning, and gently rubbed my paws, and even kissed me.

I felt so content, so blissfully close to falling asleep.

Miu put me on his shoulders and we decided to go home.At this time, I realized that Miwu was carrying a bag and went out. Looking down from my position, I could see that it was full of my favorite cans.

I feel strange.Silly woo, why do you need to bring so many cans with you when you go out?It looks heavy.

Of course Miwu wouldn't answer me, because he couldn't understand what the cat said.

My dear readers, if you have been patient enough to read this far, I hope you will remember this too.Your humans may be smart, they may love you, but they really don't understand our language.You can train him or her to be sensitive to your needs, but you can't force him or her to understand all your thoughts.

But despite these minor flaws, they may indeed be very good human beings, human beings worthy of your life.If so, think a little more about your can, your human embrace, and your warm little nest while seeking the thrill of freedom.You don't need to be me, you just need to be yourself.I believe that you are smart and can make smart judgments.

May you always be loved, always enjoy love, like a kitten, always remain innocent and happy.

"free"

Author: Pancake who temporarily ran away from home

I am in the wind of freedom

my tail is a tree

a tree that never fades

when i am happy

my tree will be silent

when i'm unhappy

my tree will sway

And when the wind comes

Pull off a strand of hair from the tail

They are like falling leaves

shake, shake to the distance

when the wind dies

The setting sun cries, eyes turn red, and leaves quietly

The moon struggled to climb to the top of the leaf of the tallest old pear tree

gently

Gave me a fluffy dream

when i wake up from my dream

The moon is looking down on the earth, asking me

why don't you go home

I would say

say proudly

I am on my way home

my tree

will guide me

back to my warm home

love is not the end of freedom

love is the beginning of freedom

i have grown up

i have made a choice

The author has something to say: Pretend not to know today's day, and send a sudden holiday blessing: Happy Children's Day!

[The half-written story for Children's Day is finally completed today