i have always liked you

When Xu Ci was seven years old, her parents divorced. At that time, she was in the second grade, and there were classmates with divorced parents in her class. She also heard the teachers say that so-and-so was a single-parent family, so she already knew what this concept was.

It was nothing more than the fact that the three of them in the family would no longer eat together, Xiao Xu Ci thought, this is no big deal, and mom and dad said it was just a different way of getting along and continuing to love her.

Mom said: "Little Ci, you will follow Dad from now on. If you are obedient, Mom will still come to see you."

Xu Ci spread his mother's hand and gave her a piece of candy. She said, "I will listen to my father's words in the future."

Mom wiped her tears and said yes, praised her for being obedient since she was a child, rubbed her head, and then left.

So Xu Ci followed his father. Xu's father opened a company with a large scale. At the beginning, he would forget Xu Ci when he was busy with work, so he hired a nanny for her, but as long as he was not working, he would go home to accompany his daughter.

Xu Ci asked ignorantly, "Dad, why did you separate from Mom?"

Dad Xu said he didn't answer, just said that you are still young and don't understand, and you will know when you grow up.

When Xu Ci was in sixth grade, his father remarried.

One day, Dad brought a woman home and told her: "This is your Auntie He, Dad will marry her in the future, you have to like her."

The 12-year-old Xu Ci knows a lot, and understands how tired her father is all these years, so if her father will marry another woman, she will not object to it anyway, and will thank that aunt.

When she was a child, Xu Ci was a fan of jade carvings, and after she went to middle school, she was even more refined. She has become slim before she knows it. She is the object of envy and jealousy of many girls, and the fantasy that boys secretly love and chase, but she has no response. Reject it. Reject it.

Or, in fact, she has her own world, in which no one lives and no one can enter.

When she was a sophomore in high school, her mother contacted her. Over the years, her mother has called and met her, but the number of times is very small.

Mom said: "Xiaoci, mom is married, are you free this weekend? Do you want to come and see?"

Xu Ci didn't really want to go, but he felt that it didn't matter if he went, so he agreed.

On the weekend, Xu Ci was taken to her new home by her mother. Her mother talked about her new family, such as how Uncle Zhou met her, and that uncle had a daughter.

This daughter is her classmate, named Zhou Ting, Xu Ci has a good impression of her, short hair, carefree, more handsome than most boys.

Mom said: "I have already said hello to your father. You can come here often in the future. Mom wants to make up for it..."

Xu Ci still said yes obediently as always.

After the results of the college entrance examination came out, Xu Ci performed normally, except for the top three schools in the country, he could fill in the rest.

But Xu’s father and Xu’s mother both thought that she could stay in City C, so that’s fine. Xu Ci filled in the C major, but it was difficult to fill in the major. Later, Uncle Zhou said that she should choose German. It’s good to learn a small language. Yes, I also plan to suggest Xiaoting to fill in this too.

Xu Ci has always been indifferent, so he filled in the German Department of the College of Foreign Languages ​​of C University, and was admitted without accident.

On the day of the report, Dad Xu and Aunt He sent her to school.

Aunt He has no children, and has not planned to have one with Xu’s father for so many years, so she always treats Xu Ci as her own daughter, likes to buy her beautiful dresses and dresses her up like a little princess, Xu Ci’s mentality is normal, It doesn't matter, she won't refuse if her family likes it.

On the day of the report, in early September, the weather was still very hot.

She brought a lot of things, there were three boxes, her father took two, and Aunt He insisted on taking the other.

After filling out the form at the base camp, Xu Ci looked up inadvertently, and saw a girl who was reading news about her military training company at the reception.

The other party seemed to sense her gaze, and looked over. The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds. The girl turned her head first, and went to the storage area alone with the suitcase.

Xu Ci recalled the few seconds when they looked at each other just now, her heart beat out of rhythm.

This girl is so pretty, Xu Ci thought, but the eyes are a little too calm, there is no novelty of entering a new school, but it is undeniable that these eyes are very charming.

On the third day after school started, the school began military training.

Because there are few boys, the boys from the German department have formed a company training with boys from other departments, so Xu Ci's current team is full of girls.

Xu Ci finally saw her again, at the end of the two rows in front of her.

But Xu Ci didn't know her name, and didn't know if she still remembered her.

On the first day of military training, Xu Ci saw someone trying to chat with her, but she ignored him, and the same on the second, third, and fourth days.

It wasn't until the fifth day that Xu Ci finally couldn't bear it anymore, and she couldn't describe this feeling.

Maybe just out of curiosity?Xu Ci thought, wondering why she was so quiet and so... attracted to her.

During another break, Xu Ci mustered up his courage, and his heart kept beating. It would be a shame if she didn't want to know herself. Xu Ci pinched the corner of his camouflage coat, feeling so nervous for the first time in his life.

There was no one sitting around the girl, she sat quietly on the ladder by herself, with a bottle of water beside her.

Xu Ci sat down next to the girl. She had already held the hat in her left hand. She didn't know what her image looked like now, but she knew that she was definitely not as good-looking as usual. Military training was really annoying. Won't you be in a hurry?

Xu Ci herself was too nervous. This was the first time she actively wanted to be friends with someone. She rubbed her right hand against her clothes to wipe off the sweat from her palms due to nervousness. Then Xu Ci stretched out her hand. Xu Ci said: "That...classmate, my name is Xu Ci, can I get to know you?"

Xu Ci's voice was too trembling, she really wanted to do it all over again, she should have practiced before she knew it, but of course it was impossible, not to mention that if the other party didn't return the grip, that would be the point.

Seeing her looking over, Xu Ci still had those calm eyes, but very deep, Xu Ci could see her face more clearly when he got closer.

The eyes are the eyes, the nose is the nose, and the mouth is the mouth. This is Xu Ci's highest evaluation of appearance, and the girl in front of her is that.

Just when Xu Ci thought that he would also be rejected, the other party held her hand back. Xu Ci couldn't help jumping for joy, and couldn't help laughing. I don't know if it was her illusion, but she also smiled when she saw the other party .

Then Xu Ci heard her say: "Ke Xiaoyu."

During the military training, Xu Ci heard the name and saw the person who responded during the roll call by the instructors, so Xu Ci already knew her name, and he was still looking for the substitute classmate to look at the roster during the break.

Ke Xiaoyu, this name seems to be seriously inconsistent with me.

Ke Xiaoyu had already let go of her hand, Xu Ci struck while the iron was hot, and sat her a little closer: "Have you... joined the group? We are a freshman group."

That large group existed during the summer vacation, and the counselors and some seniors were in it. Xu Ci joined them during the summer vacation, but she is asking this question knowingly now.

Obviously, Xu Ci has read Ke Xiaoyu's materials back and forth many times. After all, when reporting, the counselor said that this group must be added, and she had to change her name to facilitate notification of news in the future.

Sure enough, Xu Ci heard Ke Xiaoyu answer: "Yeah."

There were so few words, Xu Ci touched his knee, and said what he wanted to say these days: "Then do you want to add a friend?"

Xu Ci swore that it was the first time in his life that he took the initiative.

Ke Xiaoyu said, "Okay."

Ke Xiaoyu took out her mobile phone, and Xu Ci couldn't wait to send her an application.

Later, the military training went on as usual, Xu Ci bought her water, and the reason he said was that he bought too much, but Ke Xiaoyu directly refused and said thank you.When she met Zhou Ting, Zhou Ting laughed at her loudly: "I'm dying laughing, okay? It's so fun to watch you get refused water delivery."

Xu Ci rolled his eyes, and Zhou Ting smiled even more happily.

After the military training, it was the National Day holiday. When I got home, Xu Ci sat on the sofa and watched the dialogue with Ke Xiaoyu. It was empty.

Xu Ci couldn't hold back, and sent her a message: "The chat record is empty, I'll send a message."

More than an hour later, I received a reply from the other party: "Yes."

Xu Ci: "..."

Xu Ci sent another message: "May I pull you into a small group? It's more convenient than a large group, and you can get a lot of news that the large group doesn't know."

Another reply received after more than an hour: "Yes."

Xu Ci: "..."

Later, after returning to school, classes began. Xu Ci had asked Ke Xiaoyu which class he was in. Originally, Xu Ci was still looking forward to the same class, but the answer he got was a short "three classes".

Xu Ci was lying on the table, and she was playing with the pen cap with her fingertips. Does this mean that he has a hot face and a cold ass?No matter what she said, the other party's answer would never exceed five words, but as long as she replied, Xu Ci's heart could not calm down.

This Ke Xiaoyu, Xu Ci thought angrily, why should he send the message first, if he didn't look for her later, would she also look for him?

So for the next week, Xu Ci didn't send any more messages to Ke Xiaoyu. The other party was more capable and indifferent than Xu Ci thought. Xu Ci was sad. When can we become friends with her?This is definitely not counted now, and when can I smile at her?Or like the name, talking with a smile is the best.

A week later, Xu Ci angrily ate with Lin Nan in the snack street. She poked the rice in her bowl and looked up to see Ke Xiaoyu not far away.

There was a girl sitting opposite Ke Xiaoyu. That girl smiled happily. Although Ke Xiaoyu didn't speak the whole time, the corners of her mouth were raised. When necessary, she took out her mobile phone and typed for the girl to see.

Xu Ci had to admit that he was very envious, at least Ke Xiaoyu would still smile at her, wouldn't he?

Not long after, Xu Ci saw that Ke Xiaoyu and the two were about to leave, Xu Ci told Lin Nan and left his seat.

Xu Ci smiled and said, "What a coincidence, Ke Xiaoyu."

Ke Xiaoyu still gave a "huh".

The girl asked her first: "Student, do you belong to the same department as Xiaoyu?"

Xiaoyu?Xu Ci raised his eyebrows and nodded: "Yes."

Later, Lin Xi asked for Xu Ci's WeChat, and said, "Please read Xiaoyu more, she is very silent in front of outsiders, but she is very good."

Xu Ci bent the corners of his lips and agreed.

outsider?She doesn't want to be an outsider.

Of course I know she is fine, Xu Ci thought to himself, even if she will never take the initiative to contact him.

People in the small group often have dinner together, Xu Ci has approached Ke Xiaoyu several times, she only came twice, but twice is enough, eating at the same table, he is still the closest person to her, Xu Ci thought of this My heart fluttered, tsk, she is not an outsider.

The days passed slowly, and one day, the teacher taught them some German sentences about love during class.

The teacher asked: "Do you know how to say love at first sight?"

The students shook their heads: "I don't know."

Xu Ci suddenly became nervous, love at first sight?

I heard the teacher say again: "Love at first sight in German is LiebeaufdenerstenBlick."

Xu Ci stopped taking notes, and someone in his heart jumped out and said: Xu Ci, do you actually like Ke Xiaoyu?And it was love at first sight, anyway, you have never been interested in boys.

Xu Ci denied it: no, it is not like this.

But the voice asked again: "No, why are you so nervous when someone confesses to her? Why are you sad? Why do you write down other people's names in a small notebook? Are you crazy?"

Xu Ci: "..."

Xu Ci began to panic and was at a loss.

When he came back to his senses, he realized that the notes he had written had turned into three characters of Ke Xiaoyu at some point. Xu Ci tore off that page, intending to shred it and throw it into the trash can, but in the end he folded it and put it in the book.

Is that so?Do you actually like Ke Xiaoyu?Xu Ci is still struggling, but her body reacts much faster than her brain. She looks for Ke Xiaoyu more and more frequently, but her painting style has changed.

"Ke Xiaoyu, how do you use this word?"

"Ke Xiaoyu, what do you fill in the blank?"

Gradually, the name also began to change.

"Ke Xiaoyu, is this change two or four?"

"Ke Xiaoyu, this monthly exam is so difficult..."

The other party's answer was still short, but it could make Xu Ci's happy eyes bend.

Ugh!

Xu Ci sighed, Ke Xiaoyu would be too cute to reply even with one word.

Later, after eating at Uncle Zhou's house again, Xu Ci sat on the sofa and sent Ke Xiaoyu unnutritious questions.

My mother asked her if she was in love. Recently, my mother asked her this question several times. Xu Ci shook her head and said no, where do you want to go.

Zhou Ting smiled and peeled the oranges, and when there were only two people in the living room, Zhou Ting said, "Tsk, why are you holding your phone every day to send messages to that high-cold student in our class? And ask him questions, lol dead."

"I want you to take care of it." Xu Ci rolled his eyes again and realized, "You peeked at my chat?!"

Zhou Ting stuffed a piece of orange into his mouth, and said indistinctly: "What is peeking? You didn't cover the screen yourself, so you blamed me for seeing it?"

Xu Ci: "..."

Zhou Ting continued to eat oranges: "I understand now, do you like her?"

Xu Ci immediately denied: "I didn't like her! I only like her as a friend!"

"Oh, do you know if there is no silver 300 taels here?" Zhou Ting laughed, "Did I say something else? Why are you so eager to explain yourself?"

Xu Ci frowned: "Zhou Ting, you are too annoying."

"Well, in this case, I'm going to tease her." Zhou Ting put the last piece of orange into his mouth and stood up, "It's rare that my sister is such an idiot."

Xu Ci: "..."

The winter holidays are coming as expected, Xu Ci sent a message to Ke Xiaoyu before leaving: "See you next semester."

"Um."

Xu Ci sighed again, it's been this semester, nothing has changed.

During the winter vacation, I couldn't help but send her messages, but the response was still very flat.

Going shopping with friends, Xu Ci stopped when passing by the earrings shop. The friend asked her what was wrong, Xu Ci shook her head and said she was fine.

Another person came here the next day and bought two pairs of earrings for couples.

When paying, I blushed a lot, but after being surprised a few times, the teller blessed her, and Xu Ci said thank you.

When surfing the Internet, I saw someone saying: You are looking forward to one thing so much, the whole universe will help you.

Xu Ci knew what she was expecting, so she believed it and forwarded this Weibo.

Zhou Ting gave her advice: "You should be bold and take the initiative. Do you know the seven-character motto of chasing people? Be bold, careful and thick-skinned."

Xu Ci thought about it, and thought it was the same, stop holding it, and take the initiative?

Moreover, I was almost sick with longing, but the other party didn't know anything. Isn't this just asking for guilt?

Before the new semester came, Xu Ci asked Lin Xi Ke Xiaoyu in advance when he would return to school.

Xu Ci also went to school early, she wanted to see her earlier.

But Ke Xiaoyu refused to let her pick her up.

Xu Ci: "..."

But it would be impossible to just give up, so Xu Ci also went downstairs while watching Ke Xiaoyu leave the dormitory to eat.

He took the initiative to pull her wrist, which was very thin. He really wanted to keep pulling, but he wanted to hold hands directly. When his hand was thrown away, Xu Ci realized that he had already held her hand. Although he was shocked on the surface, Xu Ci My heart is already smiling like a flower, and I have already held her hand, although I haven't had time to feel it yet.

Later, he deliberately went to give her a gift with empty hands, seeing Ke Xiaoyu obediently closing his eyes, Xu Ci's throat moved, what should I do if the person I like is too obedient!

Later on in the small group, I saw Ke Xiaoyu's ellipsis in a swiping screen. Xu Ci sent her a message happily and nervously, but the other party didn't respond much, but Xu Ci didn't care so much. It was the best time, so he ran to Ke Xiaoyu's dormitory in his pajamas, and then took the opportunity to ask if he could hug her.

Scheming, Xu Ci cried and scolded himself in her arms, but it was really hard to have such a crush who didn't get any response, and it was really hard to stop crying and crying.

and after?Later, I took the initiative to chat with her on WeChat, but it was obvious that the other party lacked interest.

Xu Ci lowered his eyes, hiding his emotions.

But maybe the initiative really worked, or maybe it was really useful to retweet that Weibo. Xu Ci found that he and Ke Xiaoyu were much closer. They could eat together, go to the classroom together, and go back to the dormitory together.

This is close enough to be described as a good friend.

But Xu Ci thought greedily, this is not enough, she wants more than this.

But the closer you get, the more you can't bear yourself. It's common to be unable to sleep at night. More than once, I have dreamed of Ke Xiaoyu nodding to her and saying: Okay, I like you too.

But after waking up, she found that it was really just a dream. How could she like herself?Not everyone is like her.

He wanted to live off-campus because he was afraid that he couldn't help knocking on the door one day to confess his love to others, but seeing Ke Xiaoyu in front of him, Xu Ci couldn't help but asked if he wanted to live off-campus with him.

Afterwards Xu Ci felt that he was worthless, how could this be far away?

That night, Xu Ci finally finished his work, and then remembered that Ke Xiaoyu might still be in the sports field, so he went to find her again.

But unexpectedly, he saw Ke Xiaoyu fall down in front of him.

Xu Ci didn't know what to do at that moment. After realizing it, he hugged Ke Xiaoyu in his arms. Some people around said that an ambulance had been called, so Xu Ci called Teacher Xiao with shaking hands.

Ke Xiaoyu lay weakly on the hospital bed, breathing lightly, with sweat on his forehead.

Lin Xi said: "Xiaoyu's health is not very good, and colds are common."

Lin Xi said, "I can wake up in a day."

Lin Xi said: "Xiaoyu... she's at home, you know the goddess? She was admitted to the hospital because of a stomach problem in high school again, and that time was more serious. I said, why don't you contact your uncle and aunt? Say no, she doesn't want to contact them."

Lin Xi said: "Xiaoyu used to be even more withdrawn than now. Before, she could not talk or communicate with others all day long, but then she got better."

Lin Xi said: "She is bored with a lot of things, and she never wants to tell others."

Wait, wait, Lin Xi told her a lot, and the more Xu Ci listened, the more distressed he felt, holding her normally warm but now cold hand.

Lin Xi couldn't stand it any longer, and told her to sit on a chair outside for a while, Xu Ci agreed, and then sat down in the ward.

The sweat on Ke Xiaoyu's forehead was wiped away by her, Xu Ci looked at her pale face, and gently kissed her on the forehead, hoping you would wake up soon.

After being discharged from the hospital, there will be a Ching Ming holiday within two days, which means they will be separated again.

Xu Ci was very reluctant, but there was really nothing she could do. When she was in the car, she looked at her phone back and forth. She felt that she should restrain herself, but when she received the message from Ke Xiaoyu, Xu Ci was very excited. It slammed on the window.

I thought that missing her but not being able to see her would be torture enough, but I didn't expect Ke Xiaoyu to say "I have someone I like now" is the ultimate torture.

It was as if a knife was stabbing at her heart.

Moreover, the voice message sent to Ke Xiaoyu did not receive a reply.

Didn't Ke Xiaoyu hear it?Pretending not to know?Still despise yourself?Or actually don't understand the meaning of the three words like you at all?Xu Ci muffled his head and tears still flowed out.

But when I saw the photo in Moments, I was instantly cured again.

If there is no future, there is no future, Xu Ci sniffed, as long as she can be happy, and if there is a chance in the future, I can talk about it myself, even if... I can't even be friends.

It's not that he never thought that she might like him too, but every time he looked at her clear, peaceful and beautiful eyes, Xu Ci knew that he was thinking too much again.

The whole universe will help you, liar.

There are many things, all stacked together, Xu Ci feels very tired, and his heart is also tired.

Especially when he accidentally heard Lin Xi calling Ke Xiaoyu.

"Xiaoyu, have you confessed to him yet?"

Confession...

Xu Ci couldn't think anymore, so he advanced into the bedroom in order not to make himself sad.

It turns out that the so-called disapproval is all nonsense, the person I like has to confess to others, I am so angry, but I can't do anything, so should I confess to myself?

As the saying goes, give up as soon as possible.

The competition came as scheduled, but Xu Ci still braced himself to host. After preparing for so long, there must be no mistakes.

At a glance, I saw Ke Xiaoyu sitting under the stage, and Chen Xing beside her.

Xu Ci really doesn't like Chen Xing anymore. The whole department knew it when he chased Ke Xiaoyu last semester. After being rejected directly, he was with someone else at the end of the winter vacation. After losing his girlfriend, he still thinks about Ke Xiaoyu, fuck you, scumbag.

Is it true that what is not available is the most precious thing?

Later, when it was time for her to report the score on stage, looking down, Ke Xiaoyu had already fallen asleep on Chen Xing's shoulder.

Xu Ci worked hard to stabilize his voice, not to let himself be distracted.

After the end, the emptiness and loss filled her heart, and she couldn't hide it anymore. Now it's uncomfortable to watch her get so close to others.

Later, I heard Chen Xing confess his love again in the lobby.

Xu Ci couldn't stand it anymore, he couldn't stand being so timid and cowardly.

He walked all the way in a daze without speaking, and finally sat down on the bench.

Xu Ci didn't know what to say, but he was so sad that he couldn't add more. Could it be that he was really too greedy? Ke Xiaoyu, who was next to him, had a very good relationship with him, and she was already the closest person around her.

She never thought of confessing her love so early, but she really couldn't bear it anymore.

It's really the best choice to give up as soon as possible, even if you withdraw yourself, it may be too late.

To her, Ke Xiaoyu is the most seductive poison/drug, once she tastes it, she can't quit it.

But did not expect.

Ke Xiaoyu said, "What can you do?"

"Of course you chose to be with me."

Is it heaven?Now.

Strangely, Xu Ci felt as if he heard the sound of flowers blooming.

The author has something to say:

The same unconfident Xiaoci classmate

7000 words

I'm useless

Maybe I'll fix it later