Rebirth of the Lost Me

The tradition of slaughtering pigs is still preserved in rural Sichuan. A family raises two pigs, feeds them coarse grains all year round, and gives them some leftovers.During the few days of Chinese New Year, the weather has cooled down, and it’s time for pigs to give back to people. A big fat pig weighing three to four hundred catties has to be held down by several people. A special butcher is invited to stab a knife into the jaw. The white knife goes in and the red knife goes out. This is the time when the pig struggles the most, and even a few strong men may not be able to hold it down.Finally, boil a pot of hot water to scrape off the hard hairs on the body.

Usually, rural people will invite their relatives to come to their house for a meal on the day of pig slaughter. There is no other meat at the banquet, it is all pork, and two shredded pork are fried, a large bowl of twice-cooked pork, and a plate of pork liver and a plate of fatty intestines. , two bowls of pig blood soup, this is a very good dish to entertain relatives.

In the past few days before the new year, most of them eat from one place to another. Except for the little meat that is invited to eat, the rest will be salted first, and after a few days the salt will seep into the meat, and then Wash the meat, and finally hang it on the stove. Every time the rice is cooked, the smoke will be smoked. This is the traditional way of Sichuan bacon. The meat made is fat but not greasy even if it is fat. You will also find that there is a faint woody smell, which is very delicious.

Rural people generally choose to kill pigs a few days before the Chinese New Year, because the weather will cool down in those days, so the cured meat will not change its taste, and because the children and grandchildren who are working abroad will return to their hometowns in those days, and they have been looking forward to it for a year. , except for the New Year's Eve dinner, which is this time killing pig soup.

Yang Qing just returned to his hometown yesterday. Today, grandpa and grandma hired someone to kill the pig. The 400-jin fat pig is enough to show how much effort the owner had put into feeding it. Grandpa called four or five neighbors to help. That's it, you help me today, I'll help you tomorrow, there is nothing wrong with the family, the young people in the family are not at home all year round, and they all rely on the neighbors to help them.

When everyone went to chase the pigs, Yang Qing took a few younger brothers and walked away. There was only one younger sister under him, and there were quite a few younger brothers. Taking the younger brothers away, he forgot that when he was his age, he was also curious about everything and wanted to see everything.

The younger brothers didn't listen to Yang Qing at all, they all wanted to join in the fun, but Yang Qing couldn't call them, so he let them go, and went to the kitchen by himself. There is a smell, and after using it a few times, it is disgusted, and most of the time it depends on burning wood.

Yang Qing threw some firewood in. It's cold outside in winter, and it's much more comfortable and warm here. Now the house is quite deserted. When the neighbor's woman comes over to help around noon, it will be lively. Woke up.

"Did your dad call you?"

Grandma started sweeping the floor again, the floor was not dirty, but the old man just couldn’t take it easy, he always wanted to find something to do, the second and third uncles also came back, and they were all outside to help butcher pigs, and the second and third aunts were also outside to see what was going on In need of help, there were only Yang Qing and his grandma left in the room.

Yang Qing glanced at the hunched figure of the old man, and couldn't remember when his father called him, but he really couldn't say whether he called or not. Yang Qing is no longer a child of this age, and he will never Because his grandma shed tears of grievance at such a sentence, which caused the old man to worry.

"Hit."

"Then what did you guys say? After going out for so long, you didn't call me back, and you don't know if you will come back on the [-]th day. What do you think he is going to do!"

"Maybe busy."

The flames burst out, the fire in the stove was burning very vigorously, the firewood was the most prosperous when it was about to burn out, after a while, the fire would soon be extinguished, Yang Qing always felt uneasy, he looked at the flames, and he didn't know what to do for a long time. He moved until he felt a little cold in his body, and he realized that the fire was gone, and then he began to add firewood, but the firewood was not so easy to ignite at this time.

"What about your mother? Did he say when he would come back? She insisted on fighting for your brother. I don't think there is your father. What would he do with Yang Ran? At that time, so many people persuaded them to leave. Now it's better." Both of you are not coming back, and you study and let you live alone on the street, look how thin you have become this year!"

Yang Qing really doesn't understand why the old man likes to say these words so much, he can understand her love to say these things when she is old, but these words are just to sprinkle salt on the wounds of the youth.At this moment, Yang Qing felt tired again. He thought that he didn't care about it long ago, but when others mentioned it again and again, it seemed that it was really the case.

This year his father will not come back, he will live without his parents at home for the first time, everyone will come to comfort him, in fact, Yang Qing wants others to ignore him, so that he will feel that he is no different.

The next day after the Chinese New Year, Yang Qing insisted on going back to his home in the town. This year was quite fruitful, just like in the last life, two uncles secretly stuffed him with hundreds of dollars behind their aunts' backs, and his grandmother did the same. When he was alone, it was almost [-], which is really a lot of money for Yang Qing at this age. In fact, Yang Qing understood that they just looked at him pitifully. It's his character to accept the money.

Lanterns were hung on the trees on both sides of the street, and Spring Festival couplets were pasted on the gate downstairs. Everywhere was bustling, only his house was still deserted.

After Yang Qing returned home, he still felt icy and cold everywhere, and the house didn't feel like home at all, so he went back to the room, took off his coat and covered it with the quilt, and then got into the bed.

He clearly remembered that his home was so warm when he was young, why has it become like this now?

He remembered that when he was young, he lived in the country, and eggs were rare. Once his mother boiled two eggs in the morning, and he took one and put it on his father's face, which woke him up. His dad wasn't angry either, he shared the egg with his mom when he got up, and he ate one.

He still remembers when he was young, he had a competition with his dad who would finish the meal first, but he obviously won but his dad cheated. In the end, he sat on the ground and cried, and his dad admitted his mistake.

Those memories are what Yang Qing in the previous life deliberately thinks about whenever he can't hold on, and encourages him to continue walking. In his memory, their family is so happy, but he doesn't know when everything has changed. The final result is He didn't think he could ever get better again, he felt it would be better for no one without him, so he bought sharp knives and ended it all without much fuss.