between friendship and love

Qi Tian was actually quite happy to see Yang Lin for the last time in the morning.In order to welcome the New Year in the community, many red lanterns are also hung on the trees.He already had a plan in mind where he was going. He walked along the long street, turned around a commercial street, and walked to the riverside.

His body was already very weak, and he felt a little out of breath after walking for so long.There were many people walking by the river, and he also remembered the time when he walked with the man that night. The man was so gentle and told him about his first love.

It should have been their happiest day, if he had realized his true thoughts earlier.

But I made that day the worst day. The man obviously wanted to be with me for the rest of his life, and even prepared to come out to his parents, but I made him change, which made him sad.

It would be a lie to say that he has no regrets, he is even willing to give his all, go back to that day, and then say to the man: Okay, let's go and talk to the auntie and the others.

If this is the case, what a happy smile will Yang Lin show?

He stopped and fantasized about the expression that the man would show for a while, and he felt happy too.But after the joy, a bigger void gripped his mind tightly, making him even more uncomfortable.

So he continued to walk, walked to the place where the two sat down last time, looked at the sparkling water on the river, and began to calculate when he would jump down again.

There are many people around now, it is not a good time, kind people will definitely go to save him, the weather is so cold, it would be bad if it made others sick.Wait, wait, wait.

The devil in his heart laughed at him: You are cowardly and dare not die, what excuse do you have?

Qi Tian was indifferent to its ridicule, holding a key chain with a panda puppet in his hand, which Yang Lin bought for him when he came back from a business trip.The icy iron block has become a little hot from his grip, the panda is cute, it seems to be smiling when looking at it.Qi Tian sat for a long time, the more he sat, the worse his mood became.

Why are there still so many people?Why don't they go home?I can't take it anymore, it's unbearable...

"Death" and liberation were hooked. He stood up and walked down the stone steps step by step. He suddenly lost all fear and worry about everything in his heart, and he only wanted to die quickly.

Yang Lin drove almost half of the city, and became irritable when he thought of the previous call.Zhao Wen said on the phone that she and Qi Tian were not together, and Qi Tian said that he had someone else he liked, and it was on Christmas Day.

Yang Lin thought about the Christmas day, Qi Tian cooked a lot of dishes and prepared wine, and said that he had a good thing to share with him.Because he saw Zhao Wen and Qi Tian walking on the street intimately during the day, he naturally thought that what Qi Tian was going to talk about was his relationship with Zhao Wen. , Said that he had found a boyfriend.

He was too uncomfortable at that time to take into account Qi Tian's situation. Now that he thought about it, he remembered that after he said that he had a boyfriend, Qi Tian didn't share his good things anymore. Instead, he smiled a little bluntly and went back to the bedroom .

So at that time, Qi Tian actually wanted to confess his love to himself?

Thinking of this, Yang Lin wished to punch himself.He was terrified. In Qi Tian's state, he seemed to be injured. He only took a small backpack to go out, and said goodbye to himself. He couldn't even think about what he was going to do.

Unknowingly driving the car to the river, he saw a lot of people gathered at the place where he chatted with Qi Tian last time, his mind was moved, he got out of the car and ran over.

Before approaching, I heard someone shouting: "Someone jumped into the river, who can swim? Hurry up and save it."

Yang Lin's mind was about to explode. He pushed aside the crowd and ran down the stone steps quickly. When he looked up, he saw a black head floating in the water. He didn't have time to think, so he jumped down.

When Rong Rong and Hao Wen rushed to the hospital, they happened to see Qi Tian being pushed out from the emergency room.Yang Lin stayed by the side all the time, his clothes were all wet and still dripping.Hao Wen felt cold when he saw it, so he hurriedly handed over the clothes he brought, "Hurry up and change your clothes, or you will catch a bad cold."

Yang Lin thanked her and went to the bathroom to change her clothes.Hao Wen looked at Qi Tian who was sleeping soundly on the hospital bed, his face was pale and bloodless, and his right hand was being transfused.When Yang Lin came out, he quickly asked: "Linzi, what's going on? Xiao Tiantian... did he fall into the water accidentally?"

Yang Lin kept looking at the person on the bed, he shook his head, "It's suicide."

"Ah?" Both Rongrong and Hao Wen exclaimed, and they looked at each other with some puzzlement, Rongrong asked: "It's all right, why did he commit suicide?"

"It's my fault, I didn't find out earlier..." Yang Lin couldn't continue, he thought of the criss-cross wounds on Qi Tian's body when he helped Qi Tian undress earlier, he felt uncomfortable and painful, almost as if he was about to suffocate.

He never thought that Qi Tian's thin body could bear so many injuries, and these injuries were all caused by himself.So how much pain is in his heart?Will you fight against the pain in your body?

Thinking of this, he felt extremely remorseful. If he hadn't been too weak to bear it on Christmas day, so he didn't make up that lie, and waited for Qi Tian to tell his confession, what a happy ending it would be?

Hao Wen and Rong Rong didn't understand the problem between them, but seeing Yang Lin's pained appearance, they more or less guessed something.They didn't intend to discriminate, they just sighed.Rongrong asked: "What did the doctor say? Is there any serious health problem?"

"The doctor said that his body has not been eating regularly for a long time, so he is very weak, and he choked on water, and he was cold. He needs to recuperate for a while. The serious thing is his psychology... The doctor said that he has never seen such a self-abuse person, He should have a very serious mental illness, possibly severe depression...but it won't be diagnosed until he wakes up."

After hearing this, Rongrong sighed a little, "Why did you toss yourself like this... Is there anything you can't talk about properly, and stretch yourself so tightly."

Yang Lin's tone was full of bitterness, "He's different, he's been thoughtful since he was a child, I should pay more attention...it's all my fault, he only cares about himself..." Qi Tian has always been a person who hides his thoughts deeply, thinking about whatever he wants I dare not express it, and I have inferiority complex in my bones.When he wanted to confess that day, he must have mustered the greatest courage, but what about himself?Gave him a head-on blow and kicked him directly into the abyss.

Hao Wen and Rong Rong tried to persuade him, but to no avail, the man kept falling into self-blame.The two had no choice but to see that Yang Lin didn't have much interest in going out to buy food, so he shouldered the task of delivering meals every day.Rongrong's family is local and lives with her parents. Every day, she not only brings delicious meals, but also a can of nutritious soup.Yang Lin thanked her, she smiled sweetly, "We are all friends, what are you thanking for?"

Qi Tian finally woke up after lying down for a whole day, but he was not in a good mood. He looked at the bearded man and was a little surprised, "Xiao Lin?"

The man held his hand tightly, "Well, it's me, you finally woke up."

Qi Tian couldn't tell whether it was reality or fantasy, or a dream created by the devil, he touched the man's cheek, it was warm, but he couldn't be sure that it was a real person. "Am... am I dreaming?"

"It's not a dream." Yang Lin's throat was dry, and unspeakable pain flooded in his heart, turning into heartache, "It's real, Xiaotian, I'm the real Xiaolin." He has been checking for the past few days. As for depression, knowing that seeing hallucinations is considered severe, I can't help being extremely worried.

Qi Tian wanted to laugh, but couldn't. He just felt that he had forgotten a lot of things vaguely, and felt that he should be dead and shouldn't be here. He couldn't tell the difference, so he was a little anxious. He asked, "It's you again." What the hell?"

Yang Lin couldn't understand what he said, and it was only after a while that he came to his senses that he wasn't talking to himself.He became anxious, "Xiaotian, Xiaotian, look at me, I am Yang Lin, I love you, I always love you, I don't have any boyfriend, they are all lying to you. Xiaotian, Xiaotian ..."

The author has something to say:

The stand-alone mode is so annoying, I miss Coco girl very much. . .

I'm tired of writing today, let's write again tomorrow, and it will definitely end tomorrow.I don't know much about depression, so I won't write it too carefully. It was meant to be abused, so why does it feel a little bit abused?Sure enough, I am still suitable for writing sweet sweet...