don't pass time

Hearing Yan Lang's serious voice, Lu Yuan raised his head and looked at him suspiciously. Before he could ask, Xu Yao, who was sitting in the back row, suddenly screamed, and the phone fell to the ground, and the screen slid down to Lu Yuan's feet. .Hearing the movement, Lu Yuan bent slightly and stretched out his hands to pick it up. He didn't look back, and handed the phone to Xu Yao, but Xu Yao didn't answer it, so he turned to look at her.Xu Yao looked terrified, looked at him blankly and then at the mobile phone, Lu Yuan gave a puzzled "hmm", his eyes fell on the screen, and saw that the interface was a picture that was clicked, and the picture was scarlet, it was a A person, to be precise, should be a corpse, a corpse lying in a pool of blood.

The man seemed to have fallen from a tall building, his whole body was in the shape of a big distorted character, his eyes were staring, blood was at the corner of his mouth, the back of his head was on the ground, and there were some white pulpy objects mixed in the dazzling red beside his head, Know what it is without guessing.

Lu Yuan let out a "huh" in surprise, clicked back, and found that it was Xu Yao's circle of friends, and it was a new post of a person with the note "Maoqiu".

Why does this person speak so badly? Lu Yuan said "tsk" again, wondering why Xu Yao has such a friend. Seeing that Xu Yao didn't want to answer the phone, he hurriedly helped her return to the desktop with one click, and found that Xu Yao's desktop was actually It was a photo of Yan Lang standing on the podium.Lu Yuan was stunned for a moment before Xu Yao came to her senses, snatched the phone, glanced at Yan Lang secretly from the corner of her eye, and said with a smile, "I'm scared to death."

Lu Yuan turned his head away, thinking that I had caught him haha, but probably because he saw the scene with too much impact just now, he always felt a little uncomfortable.Yan Lang naturally also saw the photo of the corpse, but he didn't pay much attention to what happened to the two of them afterwards.The professor on the stage started to give a lecture. He pulled a piece of manuscript paper from Lu Yuan, and wrote a line on it: "This is not right, let's go and take a look later."

Lu Yuan looked at the flamboyant characters and nodded.

Suicide by jumping off a building is nothing new in colleges and universities. Probably because they were afraid of the impact of the incident, the police were not usually quick to deal with it. In the aftermath, only the parents and the school kept arguing, and the conflict between cover-up and disclosure remained.Therefore, when Lu Yuan and Yan Lang rushed over after class, the scene had already been cleaned up, and the crowd had already dispersed, leaving only a circle of white lines outlining the shape of the corpse on the ground.

Lu Yuan followed Yan Lang across the small road, only to find out that the building where the accident happened was the building where Lu Yuan had seen the boy hanging from the window.Only then did he take a closer look at the whole building. The building has eight floors in total, which is quite high for this kind of old-fashioned residential building. There are many creepers crawling on the outer walls, and the blue bricks are getting thicker and thicker with the precipitation of time. Most of the trees in the school are old, and the dense canopy covers the roads and paths, so the building looks more quiet.

Yan Lang told Lu Yuan to wait where he was, and he went to look at the other side. Lu Yuan was immersed in the thoughts brought by the blue bricks and creepers stained with time, so he nodded and left with his words.

"Hello." Xu Yao didn't know when she appeared behind Lu Yuan, and patted him. Lu Yuan turned around sharply, and when he saw Xu Yao who was scared by him and took two steps back, he patted himself on the chest: "You scared me to death!"

Xu Yao glared at him: "You're the one who scared me!"

Lu Yuan continued to look at the building with an expression of being too lazy to argue with you, while Xu Yao was silent beside him, not knowing what he was thinking.Lu Yuan's eyes walked around the building and came back to his eyes. He seemed to have just come out of his own thoughts. He remembered what Yan Lang seemed to have said to him just now, so he looked around and found that the second floor was standing a figure.

It was the boy I had seen. The boy seemed to have seen Lu Yuan, and smiled at him, and Lu Yuan also smiled back. Xu Yao suddenly patted him next to him: "Fool, you smile at the window." what?"

"Well, monitor, your glasses prescription is probably low again?"

Xu Yao rolled her eyes at him: "I'm not nearsighted, you idiot!"

"You can't see a person who is not nearsighted, can you be a lady?" Lu Yuan stretched out his finger to the window, and gave her a supercilious look, but suddenly realized that something was wrong with Xu Yao, so he stopped talking, Xu Yao With a pale face, he reached out and grabbed Lu Yuan's cuff: "Lu Yuan, stop joking, I'm scared enough today."

Lu Yuan frowned, looking at the window, the boy seemed to have ignored them after greeting Lu Yuan, Lu Yuan saw him hanging his voice again, probably because the glass was closed, the sound was already very soft, but still Tactfully.

Lu Yuan thought that Xu Yao was trying to scare him on purpose, and was about to turn his head to check again, when he saw a middle-aged man appearing on the side of the second floor aisle, walking from that end to this end.Lu Yuan watched the man walk over and pass through the boy's body without hindrance.The boy was still hanging his throat, as if nothing had happened, and turned around and smiled at Lu Yuan again.

How beautiful that smile is, Lu Yuan's body feels so cold right now.

Seeing this, Lu Yuan couldn't help taking a few steps back, just bumping into a person, he turned around reflexively, his panicked eyes met Yan Lang's.Yan Lang stretched out his hand to hold his shoulder, took a deep look at him, and glanced at Xu Yao next to him from the corner of his eye. Lu Yuan understood what he meant, and then calmed down, covering up his gaffe.

"Don't scare each other, it's not fun here, let's go." After speaking, Yan Lang turned around, and the two followed Yan Lang in silence. When they walked to the nearby Zhongshan Road, Xu Yao burst into tears , Lu Yuan and Yan Lang stopped to look at her, they were a little flustered, and they seemed to have little experience in dealing with girls.

The two stared at each other, and Xu Yao was crying beside her so hard that Lu Yuan reached out and patted her on the shoulder, stammering, "Squad leader, don't...don't cry, what's wrong? I wasn't I deliberately scare you, I'm just kidding..."

Xu Yao cried even more when she heard the words. Teacher Yan, who was always gentle and calm in front of the students, sighed helplessly at this moment. Xu Yao said intermittently: "Furball...next...Furball..."

The two looked at each other again, and saw their shock in each other's eyes.

The two had no choice but to take Xu Yao to find a small pavilion in the school and sit down temporarily. Xu Yao choked for a while, then slowly calmed down, staring at some unknown place with dull eyes, and remained silent.

Yan Lang also remained silent, still maintaining his calm and gentle appearance, while Lu Yuan had a complicated expression and was a little at a loss.He felt that something was wrong. He thought that this girl would always be cheerful and invincible. Her determination as a monitor and her self-confidence as a beautiful girl were all his inherent impressions of her, and he seemed to have taken it for granted.Seeing Xu Yao break down and cry, and then lost his mind, he suddenly felt a little guilty.

That's right, this world is like this, if you keep laughing, others think you won't cry.

Lu Yuan looked at her, and didn't know how to express his feeling in his heart. Everyone lives wearing a mask expected by others. One day, when the surface layer is lifted to reveal the festering truth inside, it is often not recognized by others, because there is no People want to be responsible for your unhappiness, and what they want to see is you who will never radiate bad emotions.

After an unknown amount of time, Xu Yao finally said, "Teacher Yan, have you ever heard of suicide games?"

Xu Yao is actually far less cheerful than she looks. She comes from a divorced family. If it is said that she has many traumatic memories in her life, it seems that she is not. It's just that she has never experienced happiness since she was a child.

Her parents divorced, and Xu Yao lived with her father. Because of work, men often fostered Xu Yao at relatives' homes. From one family to another, Xu Yao had never been abused, but she had never been treated with care.The relatives looked after her like a kitten or puppy, they couldn't tell if she had no feelings, but they couldn't tell how much they had.

Since she was a child, she has been used to observing words and expressions. She can immediately notice when everyone is a little bit unhappy, and adjust her state accordingly, trying her best to make others happy. Later, she learned that this is called a pleasing personality.

When she was seventeen or eighteen years old, Xu Yao never seemed to care about her inner thoughts. She was unhappy, but she was always smiling, because others wanted to see her laugh.When I was young, the relatives who stayed at my house had guests. Xu Yao, who was only seven or eight years old, was obviously afraid of meeting strangers and trembling, but she would still take a deep breath outside the door, adjust her sweetest smile, and greet everyone .

Others said "Oh, this kid really likes to laugh", and then went to tease other kids who like to cry more. Xu Yao thought that they seemed to need more care than herself.

No, actually I don't like to laugh.

As time goes by, Xu Yao gradually doesn't know how to face herself, she can't tell which is her real self, she doesn't resent the world, she just resents herself, so resentful that she wished she never existed.

She looked at Yan Lang and Lu Yuan and smiled: "They never asked me if I was willing when they gave birth to me."

I don't know when the insomnia started, and I don't know when it became more and more serious. Every time I feel sad, she takes a knife and cuts it where others can't see it. She doesn't know why To live, he put the knife on his wrist several times, but he still didn't make a move.She thought, she had to die more ceremonially.

One day, I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, and when I was surfing the Internet, I found a forum, in which was a group of people about her age, everyone wanted to die, everyone was struggling in an invisible place, and everyone was holding unspeakable emotions.

Those emotions that cannot be told to others will be ridiculed and trampled on at will.

Others will say: "Tch, what's the matter."

So your fatal panic, in the eyes of others, is nothing more than an understatement, a vexatious attempt to gain attention, hypocrisy and sadness.

Others will tell you, "I get it."

But why do you say such things? The most weightless words in the world are the words "I understand".How can the people standing on the shore understand this, how can they understand this ant-like me, understand this sense of despair and suffocation.

Xu Yao followed that forum silently for three nights, received a friend request from someone, and then joined a group called "Suicide Game". Under, gathered together.

Lu Yuan vaguely remembered where he heard this term, it seemed to be on the news of a certain foreign website, but it was quickly covered up.

Xu Yao was no longer excited, and just said plainly: "In that group, there are all people with suicidal tendencies. One day, the group owner, the one who pulled me into the group, suddenly said, why don't we play a game, Die with a sense of ceremony."