Actor GL

"Ningning, this is for you."

"Well, then I'll go first."

I didn't believe I would say that, but I said it anyway, and I even called that man to pick me up again, no, that's my fiancé: hard-working, down-to-earth, 1.8 meters tall and a sunny photo face, he's fine.He is really nice.

So I didn't care about the one who was still biting his face, childhood sweetheart?Or is it my lover?I have no idea.I can't define her; I can't define the relationship between the two of us.

Anyway, I left her and got a man.

I saw her shaking from the corner of my eye, and I thought, I can't go over and give her a hand, otherwise, after so many years of acting, I really can't continue to perform.

No, I'm not even sure, if I don't help, I can still act.

In this case, let me talk about her, and talk about this person who made me feel helpless.

When I first met her, she was still a little girl, and so was I. We were all very small, and we were just in a big compound.But other children are very interested in playing this thing, except her.I know, she doesn't want to play with us, she was brought here by her mother.

She pouted, her face flushed red.I'm curious, how could there be a child who doesn't like to play.

So I always go to see her: hide and seek, I don't have to look for anyone, I just want to catch her; throw a sandbag, I don't want to hit anyone, I must hit her.

I thought she could play with us more, or, play with me more.

Unexpectedly, more than ten years later, she was beside me, gave me a glance and said: "The game experience is extremely bad."

I think she's right because I'm so naive.

Later, we turned out to be in the same class all the time. I wanted to break my brain and want to talk to her, but she didn't want to talk to me. Sometimes when I turned my head and wanted to speak, she blocked me with a sentence of shut up.

Even after school one day, she suggested to me that I should go to class and sleep peacefully.But I was actually a little happy, because it was the first time she said so many words to me, and even called me melon skin. Really, it was the first time I saw her so cute.

But when I think about it, the main thing is to let me not bother her, okay.

But one day, I was very happy, I think I will always remember when she called my name, "Li Qing.", "It's okay, I told you to do your homework, I have a lot of homework today."

I think I'm a little crazy, just because she told you to do your homework, I started to finish all my homework seriously every day.Later, her grades got better and better, and mine was only average. I knew that if this happened, she would go to a key high school, and I might just be an ordinary student in an ordinary high school, and I didn't have much communication with her.

So I studied hard and tried to catch up with her, but it was very difficult, she was very good, and catching up with her was like a dream.

But it suddenly broke out on the day of my exam. I actually shared the same high school with her, all the key points, and even a dormitory. I was a little excited.

It's very strange, a classmate asked me why I was always staring at her in a daze, how should I answer?Could it be that I said that I liked her from the first time I saw her?If so, she can't even be friends with her.

However, the classmate laughed and said, "Hey, Li Qing, you don't like that Bing Tuozi Xueba Jin Ninghua, do you?"

I just laughed and didn't answer.

What's the answer?

That day, she, who was always straight in class, actually fell asleep in math class, and then looked at the bruises in her eyes: did you not sleep well?

She said she was cold, I hugged the quilt cheekily and said to her: "I am cold too", I didn't expect, she didn't say anything, and moved her body after a while, I think, this is my agreement.

I'm not actually cold, I just want to lie down with her.But she was cold, so I piled all the quilts on her.I untied my hair and was about to lie down. The classmate opposite nodded at me with a smirk. I felt that she might want to express encouragement to me, so here I nodded wildly in response.

But a voice came from behind: Be safe.

Yes, she never likes to be lively, but as long as I am a little self-sufficient in front of her, and even as long as I can be with her, I am very proud, so she said later that the quilt made her face smothered, and her hair also smeared her face superior.I think, this is my mistake: wishful thinking, regardless of her feelings.But I remembered that when she hugged me that night, I didn't push it away, and it was my fault; and then I dragged her to the party, and I went too far with someone else, I thought, this is all my fault.

Only the victim has always been me.

In this gathering, the gossiping girls in our liberal arts class must see what she looks like. I don’t know who spread the "rumor" that I, Li Qing, have liked Jin Ninghua for a long time.

There are rumors that I have loved you for a long time,

Here I come out to clarify:

This is not a rumor.

However, neither I at that time nor I now have the courage to clarify this rumor.But I still took her.So at that time, her identity was regarded as my "family" by the people around her.

I can take her out, no one knows how happy I am, so I will not refuse anyone to pour me a drink, as long as the person praises her even a little bit in front of me.

But she was surrounded by a group of boys, and even drank alcohol, so she was completely drunk.But at the last moment when she turned over, she called Li Qing.

The sound is so small that it is drowned by the music; the sound is so loud that it keeps echoing in my heart.

At this moment, she can think of me.

I rushed over and smashed the boy's wine glass at that table, the sound of the broken glass probably woke her up, she muttered: Melon skin, be quiet.

I laughed, ignoring the screams of others, and picked her up.

On the way, this person kept moving his eyes to open them. I looked down, but she raised her head, and I actually kissed her.

I never knew if she had any impression of this incident, but I think there should be.Because the first thing she said when she woke up was "I don't know, I'm going home."

She should know, otherwise she wouldn't be so indifferent.I leaned against the wall and slid slowly down, curled up in a ball.I suddenly feel very cold.Li Qing, Li Qing, she called me Li Qing, but I couldn't see her clearly.

Because of this incident, I have less contact with my high school classmates: Well, I messed up the place.I'm not afraid of this, I'm just afraid that I will have no reason to see her anymore, so I must pull her out every New Year's Day and give her a gift.

One year, she gave me a hairpin, which she said she made herself.I don't know if she knows what it means to send hairpins. I think whether she knows or not, since she gave me—or made it herself—then she must care about me.

I am very happy.

Later, life went on step by step. I became a primary school teacher, and she worked as an administrator in a bank in the city.If it weren't for the weekly holidays, I don't think we would have had much communication at all.

But one day I actually found her peeking at me from my classroom window in class.how cute.

Originally, I thought that acting like this would be enough to play her best friend, but when I went home to see my parents that day, I heard them say: "Ning Hua upstairs is going on a blind date, why didn't you make any noise? When can you bring a son-in-law back?"

I didn't listen much to what was said later, I only heard them say that she was going on a blind date, I was a little bit confused, Jin Ninghua, who I held in my hands for so many years for fear of falling, and holding it in my mouth for fear of melting, actually went on a blind date ?

I couldn't hold back and called her anyway.

"Are you going on a blind date?"

"No match."

"Then your parents..."

"Can you take me in?"

I don't know what she thinks, let alone taking her in, I will do whatever she wants me to do, because I am Li Qing and she is Jin Ninghua.

Then she came over, shopping for groceries, cooking and watching TV dramas normally. On that day, I even felt that the two of us were a couple, living happily in our own small home.

At night, I think it's better not to sleep in the same bed with her, I'm afraid I can't help but hug her.It turns out that my original decision was right, but I didn't stick to it.

I can't understand why she suddenly said a word: "If you find a partner, I will find another; if you get married, I will get married; if you don't get married, then we can make do."

I don't know how to answer: I am afraid that if I say yes, I will only get deeper and deeper; I am afraid that if I say no, I will force her away who has finally approached me.So, I can only ask her if she is sleepy.

But she asked me if I remembered that night in high school.

How can I forget?So I didn't care so much anymore, I rushed over cheekily again and said, "I'm cold."

That night, I wished that I had a thinner skin, just like she later said that people with thin lips must be thinner, with a thinner skin, and a thinner affection for her, in this way, perhaps I would not lose her.

I admit, I was wrong from the beginning.I was wrong in wishful thinking, wrong in going my own way, and wrong in being passionate.

I thought that she told the story from childhood to adulthood because she cared about me;

I thought she leaned on me and held me because she could accept me;

I even thought that she looked up at me because she really had feelings for me.

Unfortunately, what I thought was not what I thought.

I couldn't help it, I actually kissed her.When both of us are awake, I can feel her embarrassment and anxiety, yes, my hair is small, I kissed myself, and she is still a woman, everyone is like this, right?

So all I can say is, good night.

But I am not at all uneasy, I am afraid that she will go away quietly, I am afraid that she will bury herself in the pillow and cry, but the only thing I am not afraid of is when she asks me:

Li Qing, do you like me?

Because of this question, as early as ten years ago, I was able to give the answer: Yes, I, Li Qing, like you, Jin Ninghua, very badly.

But she didn't ask, and I didn't answer.When I got up the next day, I pretended nothing had happened. I thought, if she can’t accept me, then forget about it. Maybe she can still be friends. let her leave me.

I was right, at least I thought I was right then.But a few months later, when I saw her at my wedding in a white gauze dress, I thought it was the biggest mistake of my life to act as if nothing had happened that day.

She's gone, she's gone again.If the kiss a few years ago was an accident, this time I did it on purpose, but she still left, just like before, without looking back.I was the same as before—sliding slowly against the wall, curled up into a ball.

I know, I was the one who forced her away.

She hasn't contacted me for a long time, and I dare not contact her, I'm afraid, I'm afraid it will become our last conversation.I thought, one month, one month later, if we are still like two passers-by, I will let her be freed in my shadow, and let me be freed in her world.

It's a month.I think we can both be freed.She said that if I find a partner, she will find it, and if I get married, she will marry it.I thought, let me take this step.

So I gladly accepted that man's pursuit, and finally called her, and I said to her: Ningning, let me introduce you, this is my boyfriend.

I thought she would be very happy, but she, who has always been quiet, escaped like a fly.

I don't know if I'm doing it right or not, but it's all I can do.I am afraid that I will go back on my word and completely ruin the role of friend that I have worked so hard to play for more than 20 years.

So I said to her again:

"Ningning, this is for you."

"Well, then I'll go first."

Ningning, this time, I really left first.