cosine of desire

cosine of desire

Author: Lee Seung-ho

Copywriting

Many years later, the young Yu Xian and the reclusive writer Zhang Lingyan meet in Liangxiang.They chatted with their own thoughts, and the content involved a common acquaintance: piano composer Lin Yujing.They recalled the North Drifter, about his musical talent, leaving his hometown, going to the capital, discovering love, being framed... Fascinating memory fragments together outline the youth of this legendary figure.Inadvertently talking, Yu Xian solved the mystery that had haunted him for many years according to their mutual narration, and when the mystery was revealed, it also completely subverted his cognition of human nature...

Content tag: the proud son of heaven

Search keywords: Protagonist: Lin Yujing┃Supporting role: Yu Xian┃Others: Zhang Lingyan, composer, composer, Shi Tongshen

Chapter 1

Recently, Zhang Lingyan, who lives in Liangxiang, Beijing, has fragments flashing in his mind. These distant pasts keep appearing in his daily life.The heat in Beijing in July made him feel dazed.Frightened and sighed, he realizes the rapid aging and the passing of life.Over the years, he never reached out to anyone, never cared about any current affairs.His only Nokia mobile phone is kept in a white wooden box and turned off all the year round. It is only used at the end of the month to check the text messages sent by the property management company throughout the month.He occasionally goes downstairs to the Lanzhou Ramen Restaurant for lunch, and most of the time he sits on the office swivel chair, staring through the thin gap between the clouds outside the window, interspersed with countless meteor-like phrases, words, and names.Lin Yujing.Is this word that keeps flashing in his mind a person's name, a period of time, or a specific scene?His uncertainty stems from the gully of memory and the annihilation of ideas, and the blocking of thinking makes him lost in the quiet rainforest of logic and reason.

That afternoon, when he inserted the pin plug of the charger into the jack in the same way as before, the reminders of missed calls and text messages flashed in the upper left corner of the mobile phone screen continuously.He originally wanted to scan all the programmed information at a glance, but a lengthy letter broke his traditional reading tradition.He read the message carefully, and every character and punctuation displayed on the screen was ruthlessly chewed and swallowed. After reading, he opened his eyes wide and breathed rapidly, as if the reading just now had eradicated his past illusions.

That text message came from his good friend Yu Xian.Zhang Lingyan never imagined that this summer, an old friend would break through the barriers of time and distance, and stretch out invisible tentacles to explore his invisible space.For a long time, he has firmly believed that living in isolation from others can hone his ruthless character and tenacity: he is taciturn, withdrawn and introverted, his old friends change and change with the frequent changes of his sojourn life, and the traces of relatives are constantly erased by barriers. He was born with a fear of communication, and his relationship with the opposite party became a thing of the past, and his love was as dull as a lake.He is used to rejecting others, so he had to shorten the working hours as much as possible when accepting the task, and after the time was honed, he became a succinct and non-procrastinating go-getter.It wasn't until he experienced the scratches of the years that he suddenly woke up and realized that in the last stage of life of a mortal, the lonely soul clings to the bond between life and death, longing for the courage to face the relatives and friends who will remain in the world after a long time. to the unknown world.Although Zhang Lingyan has not come to the end of his life, he inevitably walks into the vortex of aging, which stimulates his instinct to talk to his old friends.

He put on horn glasses, rubbed his wrinkled fingers on the bumpy phone keys, and made a call based on the text message number.When Yu Xian's dull voice was transmitted to the small room through the mobile phone.Zhang Lingyan could feel the significant change in his tone, and the slightly rough bass made him realize that the cosine had already matured.Maybe it's a sound quality issue?How old was cosine when you were last contacted, 15 years old?sixteen?He wants to get all the news about Cosine in recent years.

They met in Liangxiang.It was an early morning shrouded in a pale sky, Yu Xian carried a volume of piano scores, a novel and an audio CD with landscape paintings in his arms, and went to Liangxiang University City alone.He passed Times Square, where green workers were lying shirtless on the ground. "School South Street, Courtyard No. 10, Building 7".Following the electronic map, he turned to No. 16 Road of Liangxiang Higher Education Park, and entered the central garden of the residential area "Science and Technology·Ruifu".Zhang Lingyan was old, leaning on a bench with a calm expression, his hair was mixed with a lot of white strands.Except for his haggard and old face, his appearance is no different from the one in Yu Xian's memory.Yu Xian walked forward, Zhang Lingyan's eyes no longer stared at the garden, but radiated joy with the tightening of the muscles of the whole body.

"Yu Xian," he stood up and said in a trembling voice, "Long time no see."

Zhang Lingyan and Yu Xian embrace each other.The chatterbox was pried open, and the gushing words flowed wantonly: Yu Xian narrated everything he had experienced since Zhang Lingyan lived in seclusion, including appendicitis surgery, preparation for the college entrance examination, and trips to foreign countries. When he was excited, he would also narrate anecdotes in detail , many of which are interspersed with fictional plots.Zhang Lingyan felt guilty for his long silence at the beginning, but soon he found that although the young Yu Xian's appearance and voice had changed, his narrative ability was still the same as before.Near noon.Yu Xian took out the CD with landscape paintings and handed it to Zhang Lingyan.

"Do you remember it? This is a CD made by Lin Yujing, which contains the audio of his first piano piece."

Zhang Lingyan took the CD, and the sunlight bounced from his fingernails to the landscape painting on the CD: beach, tower, ornamental lake, sunlight, mountains... This meticulously depicted painting depicts Lin Yujing's hometown - Xinyou, Pingding District, Hunan Province The scenery of the forest garden is not badly recorded. "Of course," he replied, "I remember Lin Yujing, the genius in the piano field. I invited him to study in Beijing back then. It's a pity that I lost contact with him after I lived in seclusion."

"He and his wife are now in Yanjiao, Beijing, far away from the city center, probably on the eastern border."

"How are they doing?"

"Yes, I usually visit them on weekends when I have time. Although it's a bit far from my home, I can get there by a long-distance bus. His wife has recently become pregnant, but the hospital there is very good, and it's in the business district. Life is very convenient."

"Lin Yujing, does he still compose piano music like before?"

"No. In fact, he's exhausted. Before he got married, he told us that when he was living alone in Fenghuang County, he saw the world, so he decided to close his pen."

"After I lived in seclusion here, Lin Yujing went back to Fenghuang County on the way?"

"Yes. He was in a bad mood and had some conflicts with his fiancée, so he went to Hunan to relax. He first visited his parents in Pingding New District, his hometown, and then Fenghuang County in western Hunan. Of course, he rushed back to Beijing to attend the wedding. Married After that, they bought a flat in Yanjiao, Beijing, and they still live there until now.”

"I really didn't expect so many years, so many things happened to him."

"Actually, I'm curious about what happened to him in the past, that is, the experience he had in his hometown, Pingding District, Hunan, before you invited him to Beijing. Lin Yujing and I can be said to be from the same hometown, but I came to Beijing since I was a child. , very little is known about his past. He hardly reveals his background to outsiders."

"Ha, this is an amnesia for you, isn't it?"

"Yes. I met him through your introduction, so I only know his experience in the second half of Beijing. I believe that when you went to Hunan to find him, you must have heard about his past and future. Invite him to come to Beijing for further studies."

"Are you interested in this? Well, I've been getting more and more forgetful recently, and I happen to be able to share it with you, so that I don't forget all about it."

Chapter 2

At the end of the [-]th century, Pingding District of Hunan Province implemented a rural transformation policy.At that time, the eastern part of Pingding District was covered by a large area of ​​independent houses and farmland, and the silhouettes of farmers shuttled among them. The large green rice fields and the shadows of the distant mountains together created the vitality of the original ecology.After the implementation of the renovation policy, bungalows and farmland were replaced by high-rise buildings, and Pingding New District became a residential area of ​​Xinyoulinyuan.Lin and his wife, who used to be farmers in Pingding New District, were the first group of relocated people. At that time, they were forced to relocate to Linhua Apartment temporarily like many other relocated people, and returned after the renovation of the residential area was completed.Although they accepted two sets of compensation of more than [-] square meters, the couple lost their jobs.They rented out one of the suites to outsiders and worked in a property management company.

A few years later, the couple's only son Lin Yujing failed the college entrance examination.The [-]-year-old youth did not repeat the exam, but returned to Xinyou Linyuan with both hands empty.At that time, the management center of Xinyou Linyuan was renovated for anti-seismic reinforcement. The emerald green mountains in the distance remained unchanged in all seasons, and the lake surface flickered with orange fish shadows from time to time. To the mirror of the blue sky and white clouds.Lin Yujing has just returned to his hometown, and he visited the viewing area all over to relive old memories, including mountains, lakes, wooden bridges, woods and towers.Finally he came to the central garden, where a lean, old-looking caretaker leaned on a bench and waited.

"I don't want to wander around the city center," Lin Yujing said to his father, "I want to stay here."

He became the youngest staff member in the history of Xinyoulin Garden.Working as a postman in Xinyou Linyuan was not only because he failed the college entrance examination, but also because he could not integrate into urban life but fell into the prison of supporting his family.Every day, Lin Yujing follows the first ray of light of the long night to work in the mail room, which is only one street away from Xunmenglou.The afternoon is his busiest time, because couriers usually choose that time to deliver goods.Due to work reasons, he cannot take time to go home. His backpack is usually filled with squashed pickles, instant noodles and betel nuts. Residents who work outside the residential area will also help him carry the heat when they return in the evening.