Cheng Chen

Recently I have become more lethargic.

I'd rather be asleep, it's always sore when I'm awake.I know that my internal organs are already aging, and now I am like a dying old man, I can’t hear what others are saying in my ears, see things in a blur, and I can’t even speak Clear, laying around all day long, waiting for death to come.

Qi Zheng always told me over and over again that I would be fine.I laughed at him for being overwhelmed, but ah, he is not the only one who is overwhelmed.

I know my time is almost up.But the closer I get to death, the more reluctant I am to part with it.I have clearly fulfilled my wish and settled down with my only remaining relatives, but I am more panicked and afraid of death than when I fell off the cliff in Drift Wood Gorge seven years ago and had no time to make arrangements.

I think it's for Qi Zheng.

In fact, I know very well that no one believes that I love him, and I'm afraid he thinks so himself.Our beginning was a mutually beneficial use, how can we hope that the end will be wholehearted and pure feelings.

But I'm a fool, the only person I've ever fallen in love with in my life, I lost my heart on this person.

Maybe when people are about to die, they will relive important memories over and over again.I remembered the old things in the deep winter of that year.

In the warm winter sun, wintersweet in full bloom in the suburbs of the city has become the only scenery in the world.The man came on horseback, the dark red cloak brought a gust of cold wind and a few fallen flowers.

"Mr. Jiuwen Lou's name, can you move to the suburb of the city to talk about it?"

A young man in fresh clothes and angry horse, talking and laughing with innate nobility and arrogance.The first time I saw him, I didn't like him, but who knows, he became the only light in my long life.During the seven-year agreement, I stained my hands with the blood of the king's heirs and courtiers for him, and helped him to the throne, and he lived up to his trust, rehabilitated my Lou family, and returned the Lou family's innocence.

The only variable in this is probably our feelings that are not accepted by the world.When he pressed me down for the first time, he bit my earlobe and asked me if I regretted it. I didn't answer him, but just bit his lip and didn't speak.

What is there to regret.Loving him has always been my own business, and I don't need others to know, not even him.

Just as I was thinking about the past, Qi Zheng suddenly sat down on the couch.

"What are you thinking about?" He brushed away the broken hair on my cheeks with his hands, and pressed his hands on my forehead, "Finally the fever has subsided. The sun is good today, and there is no wind. Do you want to go out and bask in the sun?"

I wink in agreement.Then, he picked me up horizontally and put me on a deck chair in the yard.Qi Zheng's movements were very light, and listening to his steady heartbeat, I felt a little sleepy.Just as I half-closed my eyes in a daze, Qi Zheng shook his head helplessly and said a word.

"Don't sleep... have a conversation with me."

"...Okay." I answered him, but I was still sleepy, I could only hear him rambling, but I couldn't hear it clearly, and finally I fell asleep.

As the days passed day by day, I actually had an absurd feeling of tranquility in the years.It's just that this tranquility has a deadline after all.

Today, my spirit is much better, and I can even sit up from the bed with difficulty.I know, the deadline is here.

When Qi Zheng came at noon, he saw me sitting on the bed, he was stunned for a while, and then showed a forced smile: "Is it better today?" Even though he said that, the despair in his eyes could not be hidden .

"Qi Zheng." He seemed to be taken aback when I called him that instead of His Majesty, "I have something to tell you."

He seemed to have endured it for a long time, and finally obeyed my wishes and dismissed the people in the yard. He stayed alone in my bedroom, walked heavily to the side of the couch, and sat down slowly.

"You said."

"After I leave, take good care of Ah Yu, take good care of yourself, just like we agreed at the beginning, be a wise king, and..." I suddenly stopped.

"What else?"

I smiled: "No more."

How could it be gone.And...don't forget me.

"I am a little sleepy."

Qi Zheng took me into his arms, as if deliberately not letting me see his expression, and then said: "Go to sleep."

From sunset to sunrise, I was in my arms and never woke up again.

"Lou Yan, wake up, you can't snooze any more today." I hugged him and rubbed the top of his head with my chin.If he was awake, I wouldn't dare to make such an intimate gesture.

Time passed by, and the person in my arms, my lover, did not wake up after all.

I know he will never wake up.

"Why are your hands so cold..." I wrapped my palms around his hands and covered them for a long time, finally there was a trace of warmth in his hands, as if...he really just fell asleep.

I dare not let go of him.Because I always feel that once I let go of him, he is really dead, as if I don't admit that he is dead, he is still alive.

In this way, I hugged his body for two days and two nights.During the period, the palace people persuaded and persuaded, but I didn't respond at all. In the end, Lou Yu led someone in, knelt down in front of me with tears and said to me: "Your Majesty, my brother is... dead! You let him go to the ground Be safe."

Into the ground is safe.

Yes, it's time to go to the ground.If he knows that I am still pestering him after his death, he will probably annoy me.However, I did not bury him in the tomb of the loyal generals of the Burial House, but in my mausoleum.

The day before the funeral, I posthumously named Lou Yan and dismissed Liugong. He became my first male empress and also the only one in my harem.Civil and military officials jointly wrote a letter against it, the blood of the elders of the three dynasties was splashed on the golden pillars of the main hall, the Taishang Wang was so angry that his old illness relapsed, and the folks speculated wildly about the whole story, and it became a mess.But no matter how much trouble they make, Lou Yan still becomes my queen, enters my royal tomb, and will be buried with me after my death.

Not many people came on the day of the funeral, so Lu Cheng and Li Qiren rushed back to the capital. At the moment of the burial, everyone's eyes turned red.

Lou Yan's reputation after his death was already bad, because this incident added the charge of charming the monarch to the eternal infamy.

Everyone hated him for forcing Zhao Kuan back, saying that he had killed countless people for his own self-interest, and scolded him for being unworthy of being a Lou family member.Who knows that the opportunities enjoyed by the common people today, the less taxes paid by the common people, the stability of the frontier, and the hard-working parents and officials in the provinces, none of them can be attributed to Lou Yan?

Since being a Mingjun and being kind to the people is what he expects me to do, then I will do as he wishes.I'm afraid, afraid that the day I go to him, he will blame me for not keeping my promise.

In this way, I worked hard for [-] years, and the territory of Daqi was expanded again and again, the people lived in peace, and the thieves were not allowed.

People are no longer obsessed with the fact that I have a male queen and dismiss the harem, and the queen mother has nothing to do with me, picking out a few children from the clan to keep by her side.I chose a child with excellent conduct and ability, and made him the crown prince.

I was lying on the hospital bed, and the prince was weeping on the side of the couch.There seemed to be a scorching plum blossom in front of my eyes. The handsome man was wearing a fox fur, holding a stove in his hand, staring intently at a branch of wintersweet in front of him, smiling so lightly.

Lou Yan, Lou Yan, after twenty years, I finally... see you again.

The author has something to say: Huh, it's finally over.It took two and a half years from the first draft to the final draft, and it was so changed that I didn't even know his own mother, it was a tear.