Mr. Cheng Jingqiao · Thinking of the King at Twelve Hours

"Why do you want to pick it up?" Liang Yiwen stood there, looking at him. "It's useless."

Liang Yiwu stretched out his hand, "You should go..." Before he could say the words 'give it to him', Liang Yiwen stretched out his hand suddenly, and quickly pulled out the stack of papers in Liang Yiwu's hand—crash and fell into the wind again , The things that were gathered in an instant and less than 2 minutes later scattered all over the place again, again and again, like punishment.

"Liang Yiwen!" Liang Yiwu was startled for a few seconds, and then became angry in the next second, "What do you mean?!"

"Speaking of going to Yunnan, let's go to Yunnan," Liang Yiwen lifted his chin. It was only in the past few months that his brother discovered that Liang Yiwen's dandyism is not comparable to those arrogant and rude kings of Yama who wandered in the blood of the gentry. Up and down, "Liang Yiwu..." His younger brother actually called him by his full name.

"...you're always meddling in other people's business."

Liang Yiwu understood.His father wanted to marry his little mother, but he refused, and threw his little aunt's luggage out of the house, which meant that his father had to choose between his son and his wife.At that time, Liang Yiwen always said to him that everyone has his own destiny, so don't interfere with his father's life.

Now it's finally up to him.

The driver hurriedly picked up the papers at the feet of the two, and the two young masters suddenly confronted each other in the middle of the road. The mountain road at 5 o'clock in the morning, if it weren't for the gloomy light at dawn, in this cold and windy mountain forest, it would be so embarrassing. Jing is afraid that it will be difficult for anyone to let go of any knots.

"So I want to help you! I made a mistake earlier, and I apologize!" Liang Yiwu suppressed his emotions, and he knew it himself, "Whoever you like and what you want to do, you can go! I suppress the letter, yes I'm afraid that you will be blamed for no reason in the future because of this incident—this incident that the world cannot understand! But today, as your brother, I don't care what the world thinks!"

"No need!" Liang Yiwen pressed him down loudly, and raised his head. It wasn't long after he had the operation, and it was cold in the mountains. He only stood in the wind for a while, and his voice became hoarse. "What about this?" It was a mistake, so we threw it all away! We will return to the train station now," he opened the car door, lowered his head, and was about to get in the car, "Go to the train station, and go to Yunnan as soon as possible..."

But Liang Yiwu grabbed him, and his elder brother didn't like his evasive appearance, "If you are like this, is it useful to go to Yunnan to recuperate?" Liang Yiwu pulled him closer, forcing Liang Yiwen to look into his eyes, "You are drunk and dreamy , with these blind eyes open—you don’t even focus when you look at me, do you want to live like this? Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?” Liang Yiwu scolded him loudly, “You are willing to go to the battlefield, but you don’t even I don't even have the courage to confront him..."

"Why not!" Liang Yiwen wanted to break free from him, and at this moment he finally looked like a living person, but when he looked at Liang Yiwu, he knocked on his heart without blinking, "I dare to go to the battlefield, I dare not want this Fate! Whether I die today or tomorrow... I don't care! But I have been affectionate for more than ten years, and it is in vain that I care about him, and he has never given me any friendship..."

Liang Yiwu interrupted him, "You don't even care about yourself, so why do you say you care about him? A man has completely given up on himself for this little affair, and now he doesn't even have the strength to face it again and cheer up, like a puddle of mud , self-practice!"

"You don't know anything!" Liang Yiwen tried his best to break away from Liang Yiwu's hand, shaking his head, his eyes were red, but his eyes were ruthless, "...you don't know anything, a bystander, how can you say that about me! "

"Then let the insider tell!" He grabbed Liang Yiwen and raced into the car, "Driver, go to Chengde! Just ask Cheng Jingqiao, let him see how you spoil yourself, let him watch you drown in alcohol! "

"He doesn't like me at all, so why would he care if I spoil myself?!"

Liang Yiwen was stuffed into the car, but he grabbed Liang Yiwu with his backhand. His brother saw that his face was already wet. Liang Yiwu looked at him in shock, and Liang Yiwen grabbed Liang Yiwu's clothes tremblingly, "...I I've let it go, I've let it go...! Brother... let me let all of this go...!"

A dirty, torn, thread-broken diary, with scattered papers stuck in the book in no order.Three letters, stacked with it.The rope that bound them had disappeared, so Liang Yiwen spread out a scarf and wrapped the letter inside.

It's already dawn.

"You really don't want to go in and see him?" Liang Yiwu stood beside him, the small courtyard in front of him was painted with blue-gray walls, and the courtyard door was slightly closed. The owner should be at home.

Liang Yiwen stood there, the woolen overcoat slightly warded off the deserted chill, and the sun shone on his body wrapped in the cold, "No."

Liang Yiwu didn't say anything more, watching Liang Yiwen take a step forward, bent down and put the letter wrapped in a scarf on the steps of Cheng Jingqiao's house.

"Strange," Liang Yiwen straightened up, and laughed out loud, "I know he's behind this door, but I don't want to see him at all." He paused and looked down at the things on the ground. When I bent down to put these letters down, I felt like I was going to my own grave."

When Liang Yiwu heard this, he also laughed at this sentence. Liang Yiwen put his hands in the pockets of the woolen windbreaker, felt that he was ridiculous, shook his head, sighed, swallowed a wry smile, and then looked up at the small courtyard.

"After going to the grave, will the previous Liang Yiwen be considered dead?" Liang Yiwu asked him behind his back.

Liang Yiwen didn't answer, just sighed, then turned around and walked back. When he passed Liang Yiwu, he patted Liang Yiwu on the back, "Let's go."

Let's go.

Thousands of things, always let go.He has finally grown up, he knows that things in the world are impermanent, he knows that what he wants is unattainable, and you can't do anything about life.

Liang Yiwen was 27 years old at the time, and he had roots standing there, with a crown stretched out on his shoulders, and even the frizzy hair was suppressed.This man clearly realized his own situation, understood that person's difficulties, and also understood that since this love has reached this stage, it has reached this stage.He should be patient and restrained for that person, this is his loyalty and his responsibility.

He spent several years trying to mature himself, but failed.

Now that he has grown up, it is just a matter of one night.

Cheng Jingqiao was invited a few days ago, saying that a group of academic expeditions was going to Beijing for a meeting. When they passed by Chengde, they heard that Cheng Jingqiao was here, so they insisted on meeting Professor Cheng.He got up to sign the post, and watered all the trees in the yard before he packed up his clothes and hat, and was ready to go out.

As soon as I went out, I saw a package at the door.Cheng Jingqiao was very puzzled. He picked it up and found it was not heavy. He looked around, but no one saw it, but when he opened the scarf, a gust of wind lifted the edge of the scarf, and a few pieces of paper flew out in the wind. Cheng Jingqiao quickly grabbed hold of it, and then pressed the pile of hastily into his bosom to press it down, and then took advantage of the noon sun to look at it.

I saw that the first few words on the paper were very familiar.

[Mr. Cheng himself]

See words like meeting.

His heart dropped half a beat for an instant.

When Liang Yiwu came back from Yunnan, he heard from his father that Cheng Jingqiao had visited Beijing a few days ago, and that person seemed to have just heard about Yi Wen. "Jing Qiao has a soft heart. He heard that Yi Wen's marriage contract was annulled and fell ill. He wanted to come to visit him at home, but Yi Wen has been away for more than half a month, and he hasn't seen him yet," Liang's father said with a sigh, "I want him to stay at home." Forget about Beijing, he went back alone, and I don’t know if Chengde has anyone to take care of him.”

Liang Yiwu knew that he couldn't be nosy anymore, but he also knew that his younger brother seemed to have lost a layer of skin, and his soul was half smaller than before.But this was Liang Yiwen's life, he really shouldn't interfere, but he still paced around his room for a long time, thinking that he needed to say something clearly.At least he wanted Mr. Cheng to know that it wasn't his brother's fault that he sent these things to him but they didn't reach him.

Winter has come completely. Cheng Jingqiao had only spent the summer in Chengde before, but this was the first time he spent the winter in Chengde.It's really cold here.Xia Xiaoshan wrote to him, saying,

[Chengde is covered with snow and ice, you have a single house and a single house, it is not as good as the school dormitory rooms where you are next to each other, so that you can keep each other warm. The editor-in-chief of "Bo Lun" came to me and Shen Bowei to ask for you again, how could we get it.Bofang is fine, but there is no editor of Bo Lun in the class, so I will be miserable. There are thirty people in a classroom, and there are actually two employees of "Bo Lun", pestering me to invite you back every day.

I said that Professor Cheng can't come back, Chengde is so cold, Professor Cheng is also a cold-blooded embryo, he has returned to his hometown and is comfortable. ]

But Cheng Jingqiao had already contracted the wind and cold. When he woke up in the morning, he had to boil a pear mixed with goji berries and red dates, completely self-hypnotic, so that he could survive the winter.

The stack of letters and diaries were wrapped in a scarf that smelled of Liang Yiwen.A few days later, the driver of the Liang family came and said that Liang Yiwutuo sent a sentence, saying,

"I'm very sorry for taking your things without authorization."

He will know.

He knew that the child remembered him that year.

When thinking this way, the diary has been scattered and completely lost its shape, spread out on the table in twos and threes, only one page is written:

[...you are the most kind-hearted species in the whole world...]

In the middle of the night, with a broken heart, Cheng Jingqiao lit a long night lamp and sat there sorting out these chaotic pages.Outside the door, the winter wind swayed the branches and roared in the cold night.Cheng Jingqiao leaned against the night light, his shadow reflected on the wall lonely and swaying, it was hard to stick together in the cold night.

Every page is out of order, every word is full of ruthlessness.

[...Winter is extremely difficult, the war has been fought for a year, and the anger has not stopped for a year.Is there anything in the world that can last longer than hatred? I thought about it, but the trenches were filled with gunpowder smoke, but I suddenly remembered that the moonlight is very good tonight, and I don’t know if you are in good health.If you think about it, the word "love and hate" is powerful enough to destroy the world. ]

Cheng Jingqiao was thinking about these, trying not to let himself think too much, but he couldn't control his emotions at all.With trembling hands, he tried his best to turn over the pages one by one, followed logic and thinking, and based on his guesses, carefully glued the two pages together.The broken rope tore a lot of pages, so Cheng Jingqiao cut off the rope and kept it carefully.

He does nothing else, like a craftsman repairing cultural relics, like a devout believer, leaning on the night lamp, watching the morning, and pasting this diary together day and night.When searching, I didn't dare to look twice, trying my best to avoid those words from the bottom of my heart.

[...I do remember the poem I learned in your class, 'Ten years of traveling eight thousand miles, one day thinking about you at twelve o'clock...I have no regrets or regrets in my life, but I regret that I was one step too late'...I, born early 20 years would be fine. ]

He dared not look at it at all.

Cheng Jingqiao stared at one page, and saw that it said, [... I will transcribe this suicide note here].

Only then did he realize what position the child had put him in.His eyes were already blurred with tears, but now that he lowered his head, those tears welled up, splashed on the paper and made the words dizzy.He was startled, and hastily wiped the tear on the paper with his sleeve, not caring how embarrassed he was, so he continued to look at it by the light.

He knew that he had betrayed someone, and thinking of Liang Yiwen's bright eyes when he followed him, he couldn't resist at this moment, but he had already lost his chance!

He is ruthless, those people are right, he is cold-blooded and numb, Jing Wan is right, Xia Xiaoshan is also right.

What Liang Yiwen said was the most unbiased.

"I laugh at you for being heartless."

He remembered that the child came, the night is too deep, the winter is too cold, you just laugh at me and blame me, I am really selfish and asking for trouble.He was alone, and there was no one to express the self-blame and sorrow in his heart.

He blamed himself.Cheng Jingqiao leaned against the night and couldn't help crying.

Liang Yiwu heard that Cheng Jingqiao had contracted a cold, and for some unknown reason, he asked his driver to bring some traditional Chinese medicine and wrote a letter together.

[Chengde is too cold, the twelfth lunar month is approaching, I'm afraid Mr. will be seriously ill.I hope that Mr. Wang will come back to Beijing either. The vacant house in the south of the city is facing the sun, which is suitable for recuperation.Either go to a warmer place. Although wind chill is a minor illness, it is not easy to procrastinate in the ice cellar. ]

What came with the letter was a train ticket.

A train ticket to Yunnan.

Cheng Jingqiao squeezed the ticket, and his heart throbbed.He knew what Liang Yiwu meant, the ticket was put into his hand, and he was asked to let go of the complicated world, to get rid of this face, and to see that Liang Yiwen!

See Liang Yiwen.

This was almost the most difficult thing he had ever experienced in his life.

Wept at Fang Xiaofu's grave, turned around and returned to the mainland.Divorced from Jing Wan, and only met a few times in more than ten years.When others looked at him, they probably thought he was ruthless, dull, and boring.But he himself knew that he couldn't touch it.He couldn't think, couldn't remember, and when he thought about it, he couldn't hold anything in his heart. He was so useless and afraid, and he was in his 40s for nothing, and he didn't make any progress.

However, whether it is Fang Xiaofu or Chen Jingwan, those things can be let go in a few years, but this matter...

...He even lost the courage to think about it.

He said too many unfeeling words, how could he have the face to see him again!If Liang Yiwen hated him, if he really hated him...!

He can't take it.Would rather not see.

Xia Xiaoshan wrote again.

[Two days ago I went to a dinner at the Liang Mansion, and I realized that the Liang family has such a good cook. You never mentioned to me that it was the first time I tasted the dishes of the Liang Mansion in Beijing. time!Mr. Liang asked me if you went to Yunnan to avoid the cold, I said you went to Yunnan, you have such a hard heart, you can't avoid people's resentment, why do you want to avoid the cold?

But young master Liang didn't follow me, and asked me to persuade you, saying that Yunnan is warm and people's hearts are soft.

I responded to him and advised you——

You go now.

You go ahead. ]

Cheng Jingqiao hesitated, he really didn't know what to say if he went and saw the child.He hesitated, unable to decide.The train ticket was stuck in the diary that took him more than half a month to glue together. He cut off the broken edges, pasted the corners, glued them carefully, and then used a thin thread to make them neat again. It was sewn tightly, and then wrapped in oil-skinned paper.

He guarded this diary and those few letters, ashamed to go.I just beg and hope, and I want time to smooth these things out.

A few days later, an old friend of his passed by Chengde, knew he was there, and came to see him.They haven't seen each other for many years. The last time they met was before the war when this man wanted to transfer a batch of books and came to ask him for help.This person is Xia Xiaoshan's younger brother, the two of them were classmates of Geng Geng under Mei'an, and Cheng Jingqiao is also considered half of the younger brother, and the two of them started talking about the past when they entered the room.Cheng Jingqiao saw an old friend, and he finally got a little relief from the haze of recent days.

"Do you still have contact with Xiaoshan?" Cheng Jingqiao asked. He knew that the two fell out because of a little conflict in the early years. At that time, Ren Dao handed in his resignation letter. Years have eased slightly.

"I'm going to Beijing this time, and I'll go see him too. Goodbye, he has to take care of him. He wrote to me a few days ago, saying that our senior sister brought a piece of Jinhua ham, and he wanted to share it with our senior brothers and sisters." People, he believed me, 'I ate one bite during the day, another bite at night, and it was gone when I got up early in the morning, this ham is not good, it's too tasteless'. He co-authored and ate my share again!"

Cheng Jingqiao laughed when he heard this, and Ren Dao also laughed, and scolded his senior brother, "That temperament is really unpredictable, so academically high, and eating so thick-skinned!"

"I don't understand either, Xiaoshan is different," Cheng Jingqiao responded, "You two had conflicts in the early years, but I was worried. It is obvious that his relationship is better to help you transfer those books. You must come to me. Do I still have to look for him? I dare not let you know, but I am exhausted. "

"He blamed me for the school chapter back then, and wrote me a letter of resignation. How can I get along with him? He asked me later, why didn't I just ask him to transfer these books, and I said you said it lightly. , I have broken off the relationship, and I have written all the letters! Guess what he replied to me?"

Cheng Jingqiao immediately asked, "What?"

"That bastard, said, 'What's wrong with the letter of severance, why don't I write you a letter of resumption!' Look at this, look at this cheeky!"

When Cheng Jingqiao heard it, the two couldn't help laughing again.

"You have to learn from him, be unrestrained and comfortable," Shi Ren Dao laughed enough, and sighed, "I can't, I really want to get back together with him, but no matter what, I can't save face. He is not as good as Xiao Shan. On this level, he is much inferior to himself. He is not like this. It is really rare to have a sense of freedom. Xiao Shan is different from us, and I am afraid that this is where he is."

When Cheng Jingqiao heard it, he suddenly felt that these words made him inexplicable-"inexplicable" moved his heart.He suddenly remembered the train ticket in his diary.

The twelfth lunar month is approaching, and he cowers here. In this cold Chengde, his heart is not hard, but dying.

If asked if he would like to live according to his will, of course he would. If this happened to Xiao Shan, it would certainly not be such a pitiful and hateful result.If it was Xiaoshan, he would definitely go there.He must be talking there, go as soon as you want, how can you live up to the good times!

Time can't live up to it, let alone people's hearts.

Thinking of this, Cheng Jingqiao's heart was trembling. He was full of longing and longing for Yunnan and the person in Yunnan.These longings are constantly rolling out, and it is often unbearable to hold back in the heart.But when he let it go, those feelings pushed him and made him long.He has to admit that this is missing, this is love.

When Ren Dao left, he took out the ticket, looked at it, and looked at it.

'Let's write a letter...write a 'return letter'. 'Cheng Jingqiao thought timidly.His heart is trembling as the twelfth lunar month falls, but he believes that Yunnan is warm.