[Pride and Prejudice] Liz's Little Vest

"For an ugly person, it is cruel to look closely"—unless he is a sick person and you want to change him; or he is a bad person and you want to punish him[1].

For Elizabeth, Mr. William Collins clearly belonged to the latter.

He is a 25-year-old youth with good horizontal and vertical development, among which the horizontal development is more prominent.He is tall but fat, with a dignified but rigid etiquette[2], and he is full of contradictions.

He is conceited and hypocritical most of the time, but he is still a priest, leaving all his humility and prudence to the patron who promoted him-the Duchess Catherine de Bourgh.

This time I came to inspect the property, and picked up a wife in Ban's mansion to compensate my cousin and my own conscience. Obviously, it was Mrs. Catherine's approval.

At this moment, Mr. Collins saw Elizabeth coming in from the outside, and looked at her for a long time without concealment.

The temperament is a little bit, but Miss Bennet is more beautiful, he thought.

"Mr. Collins." Elizabeth nodded lightly in greeting.

"Cousin!" He called very affectionately. People who don't know the truth may think that they have a good relationship. "Just now my wife said that you are going to take the three gentlemen to visit the ranch. Lunch has not started yet. I don't mind going out with you." go."

He said this with the attitude of a master.I must have checked and accepted all the furniture in the house just now, and I am very satisfied with the property that I can occupy according to the law. Now I am going to review the property rights outside the house together.

Jenner and his son felt that the current situation was a bit strange, but they didn't think much about it; but Mr. Elton was a businessman, and his sensitivity to money made him quickly guess the problem.

He chose to side with Elizabeth without hesitation.

Mr. Elton raised his eyebrows and politely refused for Elizabeth: "No need, Mr. Collins."

He obviously underestimated the other party's narcissism and shamelessness.

Mr. Collins twisted his nose sticking to his face: "I know that most people will be polite once or twice when they meet for the first time, and you should see my invitation in the same way. But don't worry, it will not cause any inconvenience to me , I'd like to walk with my cousin and guests with all my heart—what should I call you, sir?"

"Elton."

Collins turned around in his mind. Usually, his honorable Mrs. Catherine didn't seem to have such a person in her mouth, so it was not worth making friends with, so he turned to Elizabeth again: "Cousin, let's go."

Elizabeth rubbed her temples, and gave the Jenners and Mr. Elton an apologetic look.

Banfu's dairy farm was at the end of the backyard, and they walked through fields of crops and fallow fields before they came to some sixty acres of grazing land.

"What a beautiful field, what a - wide pasture!"

Along the way, Elizabeth communicated with three guests, and Collins was left alone, but this did not prevent him from praising his property. "Cousin, dare to ask, how much income does this kind of property have in a year?"

"Two thousand pounds, sir."

Elizabeth answered truthfully, because even if she refused to answer, Collins, as the heir to the property, had the right to check the books himself, so it was better to simply tell him and let him be less noisy.

"Two thousand pounds." Collins paused, not hiding the greed in his eyes, "I am very happy that such an industry can bring such a considerable income."

"What breed of cow is this?"

"English longhorn, sir."

"It looks very healthy," Collins said half-comprehensively, not letting go of any place that could flatter Lady Catherine, "but this is far worse than the ranch in Lady Catherine's jurisdiction. Thanks to Madam's grace, I once It was an honor to be invited to take care of them for a day."

What Collins said was fresh and refined, probably because in his opinion, being a cow and a horse for Mrs. Catherine is a glorious thing.

Elizabeth glanced at him with a half-smile: "Then can I ask my cousin for help?"

"Extremely happy," Collins did not understand the teasing look in Elizabeth's eyes, and specifically emphasized, "I am very sorry for infringing on your interests, cousin, but please rest assured, I am very willing to make every possible compensation. 2]."

Elizabeth pretended not to understand: "What kind of interests is my cousin talking about?"

"It's about my inheritance of the interests of Longbourn Manor." He spoke with righteousness.

"Cousin is really disturbed?"

"Really, this matter is really hard for the cousins."

"If that's the case," Elizabeth smiled to herself. "My uncle is a lawyer. I think we can go to Meryton and ask him to see if there is any plan to abolish such limited inheritance."

"Cousin, the law set by God cannot be violated." Collins winked and suddenly became serious.

That's nonsense, and it's ridiculous coming out of a priest's mouth.However, Elizabeth did not expect the villain to be good, and only smiled mockingly.

"Trust me, cousin." Collins began with contradictory sincerity. "Although I have many opinions on this matter, I assure you that I am here to solve the problem. But please allow me not to say much at the moment." Said, after I get acquainted with the other cousins, I will talk about it[13].”

The implication is that although Elizabeth has temperament, who knows if there will be a better cousin!He needs to wait for Mrs. Bennet to open up the daughters in front of him in a row, and then let him choose according to Mrs. Catherine's criteria.

Elizabeth was obviously not interested in Collins' ridiculous solution, so she brought up the original topic calmly: "Did Mr. Collins say he was willing to help?"

"Yes."

"Mrs. Catherine's pastoral area must be much more gorgeous than Ban's mansion, right?"

Although he didn't know what it had to do with helping, Collins felt it would be a sin not to seize the opportunity to flatter Lady Catherine.

"I can't find a prettier ranch in the whole country, and the honorable Sir Lewis de Bourgh cost a fortune--"

His words were quickly interrupted by Elizabeth: "Since my cousin has taken care of such a gorgeous ranch, it shouldn't be a problem to condescend to take a look at the small place in Banfu now, right? I want to invite the milkmaids to come and Mr. Jenner Talking about things, so I want to ask my cousin to take care of the lovely cows instead of them."

"This—" Collins froze.

He is a priest, a noble and great priest under the jurisdiction of Lady Catherine, how can he do what these rough people do? !

He was about to refuse, but Elizabeth said again: "I think Mrs. Catherine will be very happy to hear that my cousin is so friendly and friendly."

Killer.

As soon as Mrs. Catherine comes out, Mr. Collins will bow down. This is already a "universally recognized" truth.

Collins' face darkened, but thanks to his long-practiced ability to say compliments on the spot, he said naturally: "My cousin is right, but there are many ways to maintain friendship. If you only stick to one too Too stiff. I saw Mrs. Bennet very bored just now, and I think I should go and talk to her now."

As if he was afraid of her rebuttal, he added: "Mrs. Catherine usually condescends to let me talk with her. I think she is kind and merciful, and she will never object to me occasionally accompanying others."

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Note:

[1].Quoted from "Fortress Besieged" by Mr. Qian Zhongshu.The original text is: "For an ugly person, it is cruel to look closely—unless he is a bad person, you have to punish him." The reason for the direct quote is that the author feels... This sentence is tailor-made for Mr. Collins. Woo.