Merit Book·Xinghai

"Is it really okay? Mom doesn't feel tired being with you at night, in fact, it's the same wherever you sleep." Wan Ruohua said worriedly.

In fact, when I lay the floor in my daughter's room, I often wake up with backaches.In addition, because I was worried about my daughter's health, I had to wake up suddenly to take a look from time to time, and the quality of sleep was very poor.But when his daughter asked him to sleep alone, Wan Ruohua couldn't feel relieved.

"It's okay, Mom." Xi Yan smiled weakly, and said softly, "I feel much better recently. And even if I feel uncomfortable, I can still ring the call bell!"

Xi Yanxin's body is so fragile that even wearing a small bracelet will increase her burden. In order to prevent no one from rushing to take care of her in time when she becomes ill, Xi Zhenhai made her a bracelet that is connected to the husband and wife, which will send out an emergency message. The whistling calling bell was installed beside the bed within Xi Yanxin's reach.But because her family is by her side almost all the time, and because Xi Yanxin doesn't want to cause too much trouble for her parents, she is always used to enduring herself when something happens, and she rarely uses this calling bell.But if she really feels unwell, she still has the ability to ring the bell.

Thinking of this, Wan Ruohua also felt relieved.Seeing that her daughter was very persistent, she told her: "Okay, you can sleep by yourself tonight. But even if you feel a little uncomfortable, you must tell mom, okay? Don't be afraid of trouble, you can rely on us more, and mom can Take it easy, understand?"

There was a time when Xi Yanxin had an attack in the middle of the night, because she felt sorry for her mother and finally fell asleep after a hard day's work. She endured most of the night without making a sound. When Wan Ruohua woke up suddenly, she found that her daughter had almost fainted from the pain, and she was sweating all over her body. The beds were soaked through.

That time, Wan Ruohua was so frightened that she almost collapsed. She gave her daughter medicine with shaking hands and struggled for a long time before she calmed down. It's the second time.

At this time she said so, both mother and daughter thought of that time.Tears welled up in Wan Ruohua's eyes unconsciously, and he felt uneasy again.Xi Yan stuck out her tongue and said with an embarrassed smile: "I'm sorry, Mom. I will never do that again. And..."

She paused and rested for a while before continuing: "Now I suddenly feel... It's really good to be alive... I want to continue to live. Mom, I won't give up on myself again."

Seeing the sparkle in her daughter's eyes and the look full of hope, Wan Ruohua couldn't help being stunned.

How long has it been?How long has it been... She hasn't seen her daughter with such a lively expression?Day after day, those eyes that once looked forward to brilliance became forbearing, calm, and dead like stagnant water. There was little pain in her eyes, but the maddening calm made Wan Ruohua even more painful.She would rather see her daughter ignorantly acting coquettishly, crying hysterically, and she doesn't want to see her immature daughter who is clearly enduring the greatest pain and may die at any time, but in turn comforts herself The appearance of the parents.

But now, at this moment, Wan Ruohua saw in her daughter the shadow of the lively and bright girl she used to be.Although she was still painfully pale and weak, she was full of life like a young tree that still spit out new shoots after a storm.

Although she didn't know why her daughter had changed like this, Wan Ruohua didn't want to get to the bottom of it.She just covered her mouth in surprise, tears rolled down, nodded repeatedly and said: "Okay, okay, don't give up on yourself, and mom will never give up again. We will work together and we will definitely be better."

"Yeah." Xi Yan nodded heartily, eyes bent.

"Mom, thank you. I feel so blessed to have you as my parents."

..............................

Seeing her daughter's breathing gradually stabilized, Wan Ruohua tucked up the quilt for her, turned off the lights, leaving only a small night light emitting a faint yellow light, then closed the door, and went out lightly.

She fell down on the sofa, covered her mouth with a pillow, and cried softly like a cub whimpering, crying so hard that she couldn't help herself.

Seeing her like this, Xi Zhenhai, who came out of the wash, felt very tired, but still asked softly, "What's wrong?"

Wan Ruohua grabbed his clothes, cried in a low voice, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Zhenhai. I...I regret it so much, how could I say such cruel words? I once wanted to give up my daughter! I don't deserve it A mother! I'm sorry Xinxin... I really deserve to die!"

Xi Zhenhai embraced her, patted her on the back lightly, but did not speak.

"Do you know?" Wan Ruohua raised her tearful eyes, and said with tears and laughter, "Do you know what Xinxin said to me today? She said... She said she wanted to live! She said she would never give up again Herself! She also said...she also said...to have parents like us...so happy..."

Xi Zhenhai was taken aback, grabbed Wan Ruohua's shoulder and asked, "Really? Xinxin really said that? She said she wanted to live?"

"Yes." Wan Ruohua repeated what Xi Yanxin said, sobbing, and cried, "Did you know? I just looked at her eyes and felt that my daughter really came back to life! Zhenhai, You forget the stupid things I said, okay? If you don’t give up on yourself, let’s not give up on her, okay? No matter how hard it is, we have to support this family, right? "

"Yes, yes, yes!" Xi Zhenhai said excitedly, he hugged his wife tightly, kissed her hair, and said in a low voice: "We must make our hearts better. I swear!"

Xi Zhenhai has always known that his wife is very weak and gentle, so he feels that she cannot withstand the slightest storm and is easily overwhelmed in the face of setbacks and tribulations.But at this moment, he suddenly realized that he himself was not as tenacious as he imagined, and he was actually on the verge of collapse.But as long as there is a little smile, as long as one person really cheers up, hope will be like a kind of oil thrown into the fire, and hope will be rekindled in their hearts.

....................................

Xi Yanxin pretended to be asleep, listening to her mother leave her room, and listening to the movement outside gradually quiet down.With her eyes closed, she lay motionless on the bed, waiting patiently.

In the middle of the night, when Xi Yanxin felt drowsy due to exhaustion, she suddenly felt as if her soul was pulled by something, and she opened her eyes.

The bedroom door was knocked lightly three times.

She said softly: "Please come in."

Such a weak voice may not be heard even if the mother is sitting beside her.But the man outside the door heard it, he opened the door and came in, smiling slightly.

In an instant, the room was full of light.

Rong Yuan closed the door and said, "I'm sorry, it's really rude to visit late at night. It's just that I don't have a good way to convince your father that I can cure your illness, so I came here secretly."

"Well, my father is a very stubborn person." Secretly insulting his father, Xi Yanxin laughed softly and said, "Thank you for helping me during this time, and thank you for coming."

"Then I also have to thank you for trusting me and not treating me as a bad person and letting your parents kick me out." Rong Yuan said.

"I'm not stupid." Xi Yanxin pouted and said gratefully: "I know, you really want to help me. I can feel it."

When I was downstairs this evening, Rong Yuan had to stop after cutting dozens of black threads.When he was about to leave, his heart moved, and he sent a request for a visit to the girl with string force. Unexpectedly, she not only understood, but also agreed.

It was a mysterious and mysterious feeling. The two did not have any dialogue, but they both understood the meaning of the other accurately, and there was no doubt, as if instinctively, they felt that the other party was absolutely not lying.

Rong Yuan sat beside the girl's bed, stretched out his hand and said, "Give me your hand, let me see your situation first."

A hand that was so skinny that it seemed that there was only a layer of skin wrapped around the bones was placed on the other slender and warm palm. Looking sideways at the two contrasting hands, Xi Yanxin's fingers curled up unconsciously, feeling ashamed .

She hoped that the first impression she left in the other party's eyes was beautiful and worthy of appreciation, instead of looking like a putrid mummy like now.

She nervously raised her eyes to look at Rong Yuan, but found that the other person's expression didn't change a bit, that hand held her hand very gently, as if the warmth of the sun was transmitted to her cold fingertips.

She was a little flustered, so she picked up a topic and said, "It's weird, I thought it would hurt when you got close! But I didn't feel anything at all."

"Because I temporarily suppressed those things." Rong Yuan said, "I'm sorry, the treatment a few days ago brought you a lot of pain, right?"

Xi Yanxin shook his head, looked at him with disapproval and said, "Why do you always apologize? You don't need to be sorry for anything. Instead, I should be sorry, because I have caused you trouble and burden."

"Trouble is a bit troublesome, but it's not a burden." Rong Yuan smiled and said, "It's a blessing for me to help a strong and kind girl like you."

Looking at his gentle watery eyes, Xi Yan couldn't help but say, "You are so kind, really. It's like... just like the sun."

For a moment, Xi Yan wondered if he had said something wrong.

Because she saw Rong Yuan suddenly froze, his pupils dilated slightly, his eyes were out of focus, his expression was blank for a moment, speechless, the whole person exuded an indescribable sadness and loneliness.

In just a short moment, Rong Yuan resumed his previous expression, which briefly made her suspect that what she saw just now was an illusion.

Rong Yuan let go of her hand and said, "Don't worry, the source of the disease doesn't penetrate very deep, I can solve it. Just to prevent the pain from exceeding your ability to bear, I will cut off your consciousness first. Wait until you wake up tomorrow morning It’s just that your body is too weak and you may need two or three months of recuperation to gradually recover.”

Xi Yan's mind was full of his expression just now, and he nodded indiscriminately without hearing it clearly.Immediately afterwards, she reacted and opened her mouth to say something, but at this time Rong Yuan had already touched her forehead, and she fell asleep uncontrollably.

In the dim light, Rong Yuan lowered his head slightly, his smile disappeared from his face like a mask that had been taken off.

Raise your hand, calm your soul, and slash with a knife in the void, cutting off thousands of black threads!

They fled to the distance like a mouse whose tail was stepped on, and disappeared in the blink of an eye, but he didn't notice that a thin thread invisible to the naked eye was held by Rong Yuan, and then he slowly wrapped it around his little finger, It's like wearing a ring for yourself.

Afterwards, Rong Yuan put Xi Yanxin's hand back under the quilt, opened the door to go out, and then closed the door.Xi Zhenhai and his wife fell into a deep sleep, and they didn't even notice that someone in their family had come and gone.

Standing in the corridor, Rong Yuan looked sideways, his indifferent eyes reflected in the black glass.Then he moved his lips and eyes, and smiled faintly.

In a trance, it seemed to see another smiling face - warm and brilliant, like golden sunshine.

"You know? Some people say that about me now."

Rong Yuan stretched out his hand to press the glass, and murmured to his former friend through the long time and space and the boundary between life and death:

"But I am not the sun."

"Never."