Bouquet

There was a faint clink of ice cubes hitting outside the door, it should be Zephylan pouring whiskey into the glass.

Saribel didn't put on makeup, so he didn't spend long in the bathroom.The hair of the person in the mirror is loose, and he looks a bit tired and plain, a city dweller with no characteristics.Even he had to think about it when he saw it himself. It was indeed very ordinary. It was a good canvas, but not a good work. He had to copy it quickly to enhance its characteristics.

The man outside didn't use it.He was born vivid and clear, like a self-luminous star, even in a dark alley can show a faint outline.Sharibel hugged him and kissed him, and he didn't put any more force on Zefeilan's shirt in his hands. His heart was full of twists and turns, and his desire gradually calmed down.

It may be time and place.

He pulled out his hand and held the other's face, making the attacking kiss soft.Delicious delicacies should be enjoyed on corresponding occasions.There is absolutely no reason to put Samsung Michelin in a foam plastic box and squat on the square to eat with disposable chopsticks.Two well-dressed people, who had just had an adult social interaction, turned around and staged the animal world, which is really not on the stage.

It could also be characters.

Zephyran was close to his body, stroking his spine through the shirt, reassuring rather than encouraging.It was originally a pure love movie of the last century, but at this moment, it made him develop like fast food, and he was ashamed to think about it—his face was really hot, and his ears were burning.It's strange that a 30-year-old is like a young man in love, worried that his recklessness will make the other party feel unhappy.

Thinking about it in my heart, the movements on my body also reflected hesitation.Zephyran seemed to be aware of this, and immediately took over the initiative. His cool fingers brushed over his hot ears and buried them in his hair.Sharibel opened his eyes to see, in the blurred vision due to being too close, the other party's eyelashes drooped, looking peaceful.

He felt as if he was wrapped in a viscous and warm liquid, and he fell into a kind of lazy satisfaction.They had kissed for a long time, the tip of their nose rubbed against the tip of their nose when they changed positions, their lips parted and then moved closer together, their tongues that had just tasted the same delicious food and wine were entangled, savoring each other with gusto.In the past, Saribel never spent too long pleasing others or being pleasing. Everyone went straight to the point, as if there was a subway to catch after that.So relaxed, so focused on feeling the other person without feeling impatient, it is a novel experience like everything tonight.

Zephyran's lips left his, fingers slid from his hair to the side of his face, turning the deep kiss into a light peck, and kissed a small "pop" at the corner of Saribel's lips.

He felt his forehead start to heat up, and he became dizzy, and he just stood there blankly and let the other party please him.All the thoughts and thoughts before, those uneasiness, fear, tyranny and warmth, all melted into the night mist, making them blurred.Zephyran's background, his work, and the people he served can't be remembered at all. The only thing he can realize is the existence in front of him with the same vivid body as him, which is just a person code-named Zephyran.

If you can't remember it, don't think about it.

He also went to kiss Zephilan's cheeks, the tip of his nose, and his eyes.If they meet by chance during the chase, it will be another entanglement of lips and tongues.The time and place is a deep alley in the night; the characters are Saribel and Zephyran?No, that's a third-person perspective, that's a code name.At this moment, it is "I" and "you".Everything other than that is no longer important.

When he lowered his head and pressed against the other's cheek, he was vaguely thankful that there was no makeup on his face today that could rub off elsewhere.

There was a "click" in the cup, and the stacked ice cubes melted and fell.

Sharibel walked out of the bathroom in the bedroom, and there was a shallow glass of wine on the bedside table, reserved for him to soothe his nerves.Zephyran leaned on two pillows to read the document, looked up and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Fortunately."

The other party put down the e-reader in his hand, "Then, go to bed early."

The lover saw that he was in a bad mood, and thoughtfully dismissed the idea of ​​courtship, but Sharibel did not breathe a sigh of relief.He asked, "Business trip...how long will you be going?"

"It's hard to say." Zephilan watched him approaching him, "It can be as short as four or five days, or as long as it is long, I have to spend the weekend there. I have to go back next Monday at the latest—"

Saribel knelt on the bed with one leg, embraced Zefilan who was half sitting, and kissed him.

"In the past, there was a fixed number, why is it an approximation this time."

He is deeply suspicious now, and any details that are different from his past experience are like a small hammer hitting a nail called fact.But so what if he sticks to the details, so what if he really exposes it, the one who doesn't get any benefit from it is himself.

"The arrangements for the senator have not been finalized. The other party is now in Europe, secretly visiting his troubled son—"

Zephyran gave him an explanation, but Saribel didn't let him finish it.He straddled Zephilan's lap, copied the whiskey on the bedside table and drank it in one gulp: "Which Congressman? Since it's a secret, why do you know it?"

"Congressman Zemel. The secret is just official rhetoric. His son was in the news at the time, and there was a lot of noise-Shari, are you really okay?"

"It doesn't matter."

He had heard the name before, but couldn't remember who it was or what it looked like.All right, give me whatever, I will take whatever.Even if you want to betray in the future, drag your luggage and run away, or do something that doesn't match the Zephyran I know...

According to my own judgment, should Zephilan's initial overtures also be attributed to "things that don't match what I know about Zephyran"?

When he is not in contact with the other party, he has no doubts for a moment; when he is in contact with the other party, he mostly has no time to think.Right now he needed to stop thinking for himself.Don't doubt, don't pretend, don't those code names, don't want tomorrow, don't be anxious, don't look forward to it.Embracing the unknown with nothing is Sharibel's consistent style.

He decided to put all the good and bad of the past three years behind him, and treat the present as an ordinary one-night stand before the age of 30.But it's not that simple, he's already too familiar with and used to Zephyran, and so is the other party, where to put the hands, where to put the legs, like a jigsaw puzzle fit together.His lover likes to touch his hair when kissing, and then let his fingers fall along the hair ends to the back of the neck and shoulders, press the spine, or press the shoulder blades, and then give him the most gentle caress along the texture.If he wishes to take the initiative by himself, the hands will continue to explore further down.

Saribel didn't give him this chance today.

He told himself not to think about it, but consciousness refused to be bound.He still thinks about the woman standing next to Zephyran in the afternoon.Does his hand follow the same path when he makes/loves her?

Maybe, maybe not, I don't even want to know.

He pressed the other's white wrist firmly on the bed, nailed one leg between Zephyran's legs, and kissed him long and fiercely, as if trying to suck the other's soul out of his mouth.

Zephyran's chest and waist straightened up and then sank, as if preparing to struggle and then gave up the idea.Sharibel couldn't move his hand to pull the other party's pajama pants, so he simply dragged him around half a circle, and directly pushed him up.The pajama pants and panties were faded a little, exposing the waistline and abdomen.

"..."

His lover seemed to have said something, probably asking himself what was wrong, or emphasizing that he was going on a business trip tomorrow.He turned a deaf ear to it, and concentrated on letting the former Saribel occupy the current Saribel.In the past, when Sharibel saw a delicious person, he did not care about the feelings of the other person, as long as he was happy, he did not have any intentions to hide or personality that needed to be disguised.Anyway, it’s a matter of “daily throw”—haha, “daily” throw.

He gave a deep laugh because of his poor pun, let go of Zephylan's wrist, grabbed the corner of the other's pajamas, and tore off a row of buttons with a "crash la la la".

I am acting abnormally now.He has this awareness.In the past - Sharibel, who is 30 to 33 years old, has cleaned up her violence since that dinner date.He no longer puts on makeup, but his invisible camouflage builds up layer after layer until he buries his real self.

Now, the "self" breaks through the ground with its teeth and claws.

This way I can fool myself that he was scared away by the real me instead of choosing to leave.It was my real mistake to cover myself up like I did before.I'm doing the right thing, and it's something that puts both of us back on our respective paths.

But he didn't see the panic in Zephyran's eyes.

The other party didn't say anything, and didn't start to struggle and resist. He just looked at the uncharacteristic Saribel, as if he still had a bit of interest.

Am I acting alone?

He couldn't tell if he was sad or angry, or both.It doesn't matter how you feel.You did what you thought was right, and I demand equal rights.The equality I demand is called doing whatever you want.

Saribel roughly ripped off the fabric of the opponent's lower body, and his fingernails deliberately pulled out ten symmetrical bloodstains on Zephilan's white thigh.He is so hateful, whether he is not surprised now, whether he is cheating this afternoon, whether he was tender and affectionate before, and whether he was gentle and polite at the beginning, they are all so hateful!Am I in your control?Are all your clumsy temptations, gentlemanly manners, kisses... just to enjoy this moment?Look at how a person who has always played games in the world, how to fall for you step by step, is crazy for you, are you happy to see these things now?

At this moment, he became murderous towards Zefeilan.

He gnawed at the other's graceful neck, the throbbing carotid artery beneath the thin skin.Bite hard and with all your strength, and then shake your neck like a hyena to tear that inch of blood vessel, so the other party doesn't have to think about business trips, rings, and the son of a congressman.I don't have to think about what is worthy or not, and what is inseparable from it.Cry your mother's mourning - he uttered the most vicious sneer in his mind to the woman he saw in the afternoon - since he is no longer mine, no one can have it.Even if he dies, rots and turns into ashes, he's still mine, and his fucking mine!

Saribel was dazed and really tasted some rust in his mouth.He suddenly became frightened again, and looked intently, fortunately, in front of him was not a sea of ​​blood, but a living Zephilan, with blushing cheeks, and peridot-like emerald green eyes moistened with tears, dazzling brilliance.

If I'm going to kill him, at least these eyes have to stay.Put in formalin and put in the refrigerator.In this way, when I come back from get off work and prepare to eat, I can see you again and think of you when you were whole...

He was short of breath, and kissed those jewel-like eyes.He still remembers the way they shine in the dark alley, the end of the lingering relationship is approaching, and they are soaked in physiological tears like now.Tears are produced because he feels pleasure.His happiness made Sharibel's eyes moist.

"Can I ask you out again?" Zefilan asked in Saribel's ear before the second parting that night.

"Yes," he said.

This "yes" is the root of all sin.

On the first date, he said "yes"; on the second and third time, he also said "yes"; when Zephyran asked him if he could live with him, he said "yes".Hateful man, you are invincible to me.If you say "May I leave you" this time, should I also answer "Yes".You know, the choice is yours, and my only function is to say that dispensable "yes".

He entered into the body of the lower body, and his expression was more painful than the one who endured it.A violent union is not pleasant at all, and what he is looking for now is not comfort, but catharsis.The pain in the heart should be borne by the perpetrator.But why, why he could hate Zefilan so much that he wanted to kill him, when he really saw the other party frown because of his violence, the pain like tearing flesh in his chest was more vivid than hatred.

He didn't restrain Zefilan's hands anymore, but the other party still didn't push him away.Not only did it not, those hands gently brushed his forehead hair hanging in front of his eyes, and then stayed on the side of his face.

You resist!You curse!Say you don't like it, say you don't feel well, hit me and kick me - he put Zephyran's legs on his shoulders, his body pressed down hard - one kick and I know you've had enough Now, I can give you and myself a reasonable reason to face the separation.God, is it that hard, even if you say "can you stop", I will give you the natural "yes".

Sharibel hated, felt distressed, angry, and desperate.He wanted to use pain to force out the question and answer that he wanted but didn't dare to face, but Zephyran couldn't read his heart, or even read the danger signals contained in his movements.So what does he know?He didn't know anything, didn't know that I witnessed what he painstakingly concealed, didn't know that everything that happened now was something that I painstakingly concealed.It's a good mutual deception, but I cheated you, but I didn't win.In this war, I am the eternal loser.

He felt that the smell of blood in his mouth was getting heavier and heavier. He didn't know if it was an illusion, or the blood that had already flowed from his heart and the tears that hadn't flowed from his eyes gathered together.Zephyrán, my dear, say something, or do something, I am tired of this endless chaotic, tired of trying to regenerate the "self" only to find that the self has been lost.Are you not tired?Haven't seen enough?What else do you want to see me perform for you?

Saribel sank down, with his arms resting on his lover's ear, and one hand was already on Zephyran's throat.The other party hugged him, breathing rapidly.He didn't guard against himself at all, and couldn't see the surging murderous intent at all.If he had seen it for a moment, none of this would have happened now, because the foundation of their relationship was simply a false proposition, which Sharibel deliberately kept Zephyran from seeing.

"Zefiran..." He exhaled tremblingly, "I'm sorry..."

He is apologizing for himself who has been wearing a mask for three years, and he is apologizing for really wanting to kill him for a moment.Naturally, Zephyran would not know about this.He only thought that the apology was rude to himself.

TBC