He Zengren

Zeng Luli never thought that he would see Director Xu again, let alone see him in Baicheng University.

It was the second week of what could be called a "cold war" between him and He Ren, and neither of them had contact with each other.Zeng Luli looked at his phone once before going to bed at night, and the first thing he did after waking up in the morning was to look at the screen of his phone.After fourteen days like this, Wu Youqing asked him: "Who are you in love with?"

He hesitated when he answered, but was immediately caught by Wu Youqing keenly, and continued to interrogate: "Is it the monitor of the class next door? I have been interested in you since freshman year, and I finally chased you."

"It's not her," Zeng Luli replied, frowning, "Don't make wild guesses."

"Who is that?"

"Hey, brother, I've been a roommate for three years, you can always tell me my name!"

Wu Youqing bounced around behind Zeng Luli, causing the students on the road to look here too.Zeng Luli couldn't help covering his face and smiled helplessly, and said to him, "It's someone you don't know, that's fine."

"Someone I don't know? You haven't been with her since last semester, no wonder you go out so frequently. "

"No." He denied again.

Wu Youqing began to mutter to himself: "Then who the hell is your girlfriend?"

Who is his girlfriend?Zeng Luli wanted to laugh, he would never have a girlfriend in his life.But no one can know why, no one can.

The memory of being humiliated by a group of people in the bathroom in high school is still vivid.In that flustered summer, he had just begun to vaguely realize the difference between himself and other boys. He went to Internet cafes every day to search for answers, and looked for someone who could understand and agree with him on the Internet.

He was so overwhelmed that he completely collapsed when he faced his friends after school started. He told all the friends who cared about him before, and he got insincere comfort.But on the second day, it was surrounded by a group of people.His friend stood at the outermost place, looking at him from two overlapping shoulders.

One or two people are saying: "He likes boys, how disgusting."

"Maybe you are the one you like, don't you feel happy?"

"Happy ghost! The goddess doesn't like me, so get a boy to like me."

"Come on, maybe people don't like you at all. It's his good friend who has always liked."

They turned to look at his friend in a tacit understanding.Zeng Luli squatted in the corner, looking at the so-called "friend" who was looking at him.He realized that everyone was waiting for his answer, panicked for a moment, and quickly said: "He likes me? I don't want it. It's disgusting."

Zeng Luli closed his eyes.

The biggest belief of people in life is that they can stand out from those around them and be different from others.For this belief, they can go up the mountain of swords and down into the sea of ​​fire, and spend their lives pursuing life.

But it's on me.When they discover that others are different from themselves, all emotions are no longer welcome.

Director Xu took the initiative to invite Zeng Luli to drink coffee. The sugar-coated cannonballs were prepared first, and then he revealed the real purpose of his trip.Zeng Luli was not going to accept his offer, so he looked at his phone as usual, and then asked, "Why did you come to Baicheng University today?"

"I came to the art school here to talk about getting a job. I remembered that you went to school here, so I dropped by." Director Xu noticed that he was restless looking at the phone, and asked understandingly, "Who are you waiting for?"

Seeing that Zeng Luli didn't speak, he assumed that he had acquiesced, and then asked: "The person who was at the film festival that day? Mr. Chen's friend?"

"Yes." He finally admitted, turned the phone over and said to himself, "You didn't come here to care about my love life, did you?"

"Of course not." Since that's the case, Director Xu cut straight to the point, "I heard that you rejected the interview opportunity given by the business director?"

"Yes. I've thought about it very clearly, and I don't want to participate in acting anymore."

Director Xu bypassed this topic and started to talk about other things: "Do you know why I wanted to be a director in the first place?"

"Because I want to tell my own story and encourage those like me to be brave. I have made movies over the years, even if they can't be shown, I still want to make stories about same-sex, and that's why."

He turned over the chat records to Zeng Luli and said, "The movie that the business director wants to make tells the story of people like us. He saw your performance in the movie, recognized you very much, and wanted to come to you Audition. You know, his movies have a much bigger influence than mine. You come to shoot, not just for yourself, but for those like us."

Zeng Luli took a deep breath and only said, "Let me think again."

"I asked a business advisor for you, and he promised me to give you another chance. You must grasp it."

How could Zeng Luli refuse face to face when he said that.A director who used to be self-confident and lofty is now determined to push the actor he thinks is talented to jump into the pit, but he is still thinking about rejecting him with various oblique reasons.

Zeng Luli turned the phone over again, but there were still only some messages from the school's classmates and teachers on the screen.Those who don't want to see it open a long paragraph, and those who want to see it don't hesitate to give a word.

Did he think that was the case?Fortunately, they were only together for a while and could be saved.The most feared thing between people is entanglement.After being entangled for a long time, they can no longer be separated from each other.

Even if it wasn't serious at first.

Why do offices all over the world have to be black and white?This is a typical aesthetic of He Ren's father's generation. Although black and white are unlucky, they are the most auspicious when combined.

Chen Yao made an appointment with He Ren to play billiards after get off work. At this moment in the billiards hall, he saw He Ren walking while looking at his mobile phone, and couldn't help reminding him: "Hey, there is a table in front of you."

He Nincai raised his head as if waking up from a dream, paused when he was about to hit him, walked towards him around the road, and took one last look at the screen.

"Did you talk about any big deal recently?" Chen Yao asked him.

He Ning shook his head, looking at the friends he had known and made friends with for more than ten years, but all he was thinking about was what Zeng Luli firmly said that day that he could not tell anyone.He was really too obsessed with the previous ecstasy, and it took him half a month to calm down before he realized that he was in love with a man.

He's never been interested in other men, never has been.Even the most ridiculous thing is that I have lived for 27 years, and I have not even figured out what I like, and I am immersed in a world without sadness and joy. Because I have never met a real like, so I put comfort and Get used to it as true love.

Chen Yao and him were resting between playing billiards. Chen Yao handed him a glass of wine and asked, "Did something happen to you? You have been absent-minded all the time."

"Tell me," He Ning smiled, and asked him, "Is it possible that what we have always known is actually influenced by the habits around us, and it might not be the case?"

"Of course," Chen Yao said, "It's like I used to watch a lot of TV dramas, and thought that everyone married for love. How naive."

"I met a person before. He said that this is all in the world. Everyone's friendship with others is just an exchange of benefits, and feelings are the most unreliable thing."

Chen Yao raised his eyebrows, shaking the wine glass lightly in his hand, and said, "Then let me guess, she might be the reason for your absent-mindedness today. Have you met someone you like?"

"Maybe we did."

"Then go after it. I haven't seen you meet someone who can make you fall in love." He urged.

He Ren's hand squeezed the wine glass slightly.

Zeng Luli was right, maybe everything between them was just the result of impulse.Everything may come to a peak in an instant, or dissipate in an instant in the next second.In the years to come, when he thought of this incident again, what would he think in his heart?It may be regretting my own impulse, or it may be surprising my own blindness.

Or another possibility that is completely opposite.

He followed the rules in the first 27 years, always walking on the path his father arranged for him.Then during the Spring Festival in No. 20, he suddenly made up his mind to resist a little, so he drove away from home and came to the bar run by Shen Qisi.It has been out of control ever since.

"I'm tempted by a person." He Ning said calmly, "That person is a boy."

Chen Yao stopped shaking the glass immediately, staring at the red wine in the glass for a long time before slowly raising his head to look at him, eyes full of shock and disbelief.

In the corridor came the sound of a group of men laughing drunkenly after drinking. They were noisy, which was in stark contrast to the quiet room at the moment.Chen Yao gently put the wine glass on the table and said, "Are you sure?"

He couldn't be more sure.It was the first time in his life to fall in love with a man. God knows how many hurdles he will have to go through.There's no way to even say this to anyone.Just like now, he can only smile wryly and say: "I don't know what's wrong with me, just... I just want to be with him. I want to be with him when I'm happy, and I want to be with him when I'm unhappy." He's together. We've had a quarrel now, and we haven't spoken for half a month. I check my phone every day to see if he's looking for me, but I can't bear to look for him. Do you think I'm sure or not?"

Probably because he said such a long series of words with an unhappy face, Chen Yao finally had the strength to break free from the shock just now. Seeing He Ning's frowning expression, he still had the intention to smile and said: "I still It was quite fun seeing you like this for the first time." Then he said, "I'm probably the first person you'll tell me about this."

"That's right," He Ren said, "We quarreled because of this, and he didn't let me tell anyone, including our friends."

"That boy is quite right. You can tell me, just remember that the elders must not reveal it."

They didn't want to play billiards anymore. The two of them put on their coats and were about to go out. They were just walking side by side, but Chen Yao suddenly said quietly: "We have known each other for so many years. You started to like boys, but you didn't like me first. Am I that bad?"

"..." He Ren ignored him and walked his own way.