He's Not A Non-Entertainment Circle

xx year xx month xx

Lu Ran, this is the last time I write a diary for myself, so let me finish it.

Lu Ran, I love you, and I don't regret loving you. I think I will never love anyone again, because I put all my energy into loving you. You are the dream I chased when I was young, and it is out of reach.

I love you and I want to give you happiness.Go to tm to wish you happiness, I didn't give it to you, how do you want me to bless you.

I love you, loving you has become my habit and my instinct.I love you, if you love me too... I love you...

Lu Ran, I love you, you may never know that there is such a person who loves you so much, you may think that we have only known each other for two years, but love is not measured by the length of time.

I try to make myself better, try to be nice, try to make you like me, to be honest I'm stressed but I don't regret any changes for you, because I love you.

More than once when I wrote that letter I wanted to tear it up, and I want to tell you that those words are all lies.

Lu Ran, I love you, but I can't see any hope of you falling in love with me. I thought we were sweet, but the bottom of the candy was full of glass scum.

I am too greedy, I want too much, I always look forward to and extravagantly, always anxious, I am afraid that one day you will tell me that you have someone you like.

I think I may not be able to bless you, I will be jealous, and I am afraid that I will gradually become what you least like. I know that you have begun to think that I am a trouble, and the problems between us are piling up.

I choose to believe you, I believe everything you say.It doesn't matter if it's a lie, as long as it's what you said.But you are telling more and more lies, even if those are good intentions, but you never thought of explaining to me, I am afraid that one day you will not even bother to make up white lies, so I decided to go home.

We are all too immature, maybe struggling will only make each other tired, I'm sorry I love you, but I'm too tired.In fact, that letter was not from my heart. In fact, as long as you tell me that I love you, I will ignore everything. I love you, I love you...

I love you Lu Ran, you taught me how to love, you are so beautiful.I'm glad you're all my firsts, first love at first sight, first crush, first want, you've got so many of my firsts, first kiss, first love, first time .I'm already very satisfied, I shouldn't be so greedy...

"Dad, wake up...Dad"

Gu Qingyan opened his eyes when he heard his son's voice, and his heart melted when he saw his soft and cute son.

This is the best gift Lu Ran gave him.

Gu Qingyan never regretted being able to know Lu Ran, liked and fell in love with Lu Ran, but it was a pity that Lu Ran did not fall in love with him when he was the most reckless. Now he still loves Lu Ran, but he is no longer the young self. Yes, people have to grow up after all.

But when I grow up, I learned to look forward and backward, and learned that not only love is enough.Gu Qingyan was afraid, afraid that Lu Ran would hate his real self.

Sooner or later, they will have all kinds of problems, just like Lu Ran likes to comfort himself with white lies.He also concealed a lot of things from Lu Ran, because he was afraid that Lu Ran would show disgust when he knew the real self, so he went home as if fleeing back then. After all, he was just a cowardly and timid person.

He knows that he has always been different from others, his own mental illness, although he conceals it very well.

He doesn't like being deceived, maybe because of something happened when he was a child, he sometimes feels that he is too sensitive, but he can't control it after all.

And later, when he knew that he had Gu Xiaosheng, he felt that the world was a fantasy, and he was a monster.

You should be glad that you are back home. If Lu Ran found out, he would think of him like this, a man who can get pregnant?

Will Lu Ran like it?Probably not, after all he doesn't like children, maybe even those born by girls, let alone those born by a man.

(Here, I want to fight for Lu Ran. Lu Ran doesn't like children. He doesn't plan to be a surrogate. The main reason is that he wants a child with the blood of two people who love each other, but he is gay and can't have a child at all, so he doesn't want it. .And it’s good if he doesn’t have children, he can monopolize his lover justifiably. Lu Ran is a naive ghost with a strong desire to monopolize and doesn’t like to express himself)

The author has something to say:

It's an overhead modernity, where is there a man who can bear children but is only a bisexual person, and Gu Qingyan himself didn't know that he was invisible, so he was very scared at that time.

But he still decided to give birth because it was a gift from his little brother