half paper youth

Saturday, January 2011, 1, overcast

For the first time, I made up the diary every other day. After returning from Shanghai, I locked myself in the room and drank all night. I also experienced the consequences of the hangover, and now my head still hurts.The phrase "worried and more worried" is perfect. After a night, my first reaction when I woke up was to turn on the computer to see if Shan Ren had sent me a message.When I saw the quiet penguin, I sat in front of the computer desk and wept silently again.I'm afraid there will never be so many tears again.

Yi Yuanxin came out after tidying up his tear-stained face in the room, but the first second Yi's mother saw him, her eyes were a little shocked.He hurriedly turned his head and wiped the corners of his eyes silently, then looked back at him and said, "You... are still at home. When are you going to school?"

He stood at the door of the room, a little embarrassed, always felt that this family was out of tune with him, and he was more like a guest with blood.It took a long time to find my voice, and said without a trace: "I'm a little tired from playing these two days, I want to rest at home for a day, and go back to school early tomorrow morning."

"Well, I thought you left early in the morning, so I didn't go to your room to check." Mama Yi stood up again and started to work again, "I didn't eat lunch, I'll make you something now, what do you want to eat?"

I don't know why, looking at my mother like this, I always feel that there is something hidden in her heart, which I usually don't notice, but today it is very obvious, especially the moment when my mother wiped her tears just now.Yi Yuanxin still stood there blankly, and after thinking for a long time, he said, "Just order a bowl of simple egg noodles." He didn't have the habit of caring about his mother, and he always felt that the elders could handle it by themselves, and they didn't need their help. , and I still have a lot of troubles, let's talk about it after spending the day quietly at home.

"Mom, can you buy me a mobile phone as a New Year's gift this year?"

Yi Yuanxin followed Mama Yi into the kitchen, stood aside and watched for a while before making this request.Mama Yi, as usual, had no objection, and didn't even ask why he wanted a mobile phone.Seeing that Yi Yuanxin agreed so quickly, he was afraid that his mother would regret it, so he didn't stay in the kitchen to help, and went directly to his bedroom to read.

Back in the bedroom, the computer was still on, and there was a notification message at the bottom of the screen. He hurried over and clicked on it, but it turned out that it was just a message from the dormitory group.It was Bian Yifeng who proposed to have a dinner in the dormitory at the beginning of the new year, and the time was set at noon when returning to school tomorrow. Everyone agreed, and Yi Yuanxin replied directly this time without hesitation.

The head of the room actually spoke! ! !

Fuck, hurry up, come and buy a piece, master!

Where?

……

His simple "Okay" unexpectedly flattered the group of people, but there was only one person who didn't respond, but he was the one he cared about the most.Thinking about myself, I also started to be mean, and I left quietly, didn't I?

After turning off the computer, he sat there thinking for a while, and finally lay back on the bed to let his chaotic brain rest for a while. After eating the noodles made by his mother, he was thinking about the next step.

At noon the next day, he arrived at the hot pot restaurant that everyone had reserved. He sat around in winter and enjoyed a hot hot pot meal. Yi Yuanxin, who was always bland, couldn't help but swallow his saliva.He didn't expect that everyone would come together, mainly Zhongsun was there.

Although he arrived on time, everyone was also there, so he could only sit in the vacant seat next to Shan Ren. As soon as he sat down, Yifeng asked him: "Director, do you want a beer or a Coke?"

Neither of these were his choices, but he was in a bad mood recently, so he replied directly: "Let's beer."

"We're going back to school in the afternoon, so it's better not to drink, let's all drink Wanglaoji together, just eat hot pot to relieve the heat."

Shan Ren had no expression from the beginning, and his words were lukewarm, and Bian Yifeng wanted to refute him, since he also wanted beer just now, why did he suddenly change his mind?Zhou Tai was clever, and said directly: "Hello, Wang Laoji! I've been running crazy recently, and I can't even squeeze in. Everyone, just listen to the squad leader!"

At this point, Bian Yifeng also felt that something was wrong, but he couldn't say exactly what it was, it seemed that the strange atmosphere came from the head of the room, but it seemed that the two of them were eating as if nothing had happened. From time to time, helping the head of the office with food...is that okay?The world of a top student is really something ordinary people like him can't understand!

Gossip is a must at dinner parties among boys. The topics of conversation can be about girls or games, but they will never be idle.

"Lao Qi, it is said that you, your 'mother' and the head of the office are here for a couple's weekend, how are you doing?"

Although Yuan Hao is a hot-blooded young man, he also likes to inquire about these private things the most, and he wants to know about other people's affairs.And recently, only the three of them have travel news. When it comes to this, the three of them have different reactions.

Yi Yuanxin just buried his head lower, while Shan Ren ate hot pot on his own, but Zhou Tai was the only one who smoothed things over: "Not bad! I really recommend you to go to Qibao Old Street once, there is a soup dumpling shop that is super delicious , take a sip of the soup! It’s delicious! It’s a little oily but not greasy, and it’s full of umami, but it’s a bit expensive.”

When it came to food, Zhou Tai was eloquent, and successfully diverted the topic away. Everyone was eating, and their appetites were still good after listening to his food descriptions.

"Does anyone know when we're on vacation?"

"It's early, I guess it will be the 27th or [-]th of the lunar calendar. The final exam will be done in two days this month. Fortunately, the school can arrange a time! There will be an exam at the end of the month, and I still haven't passed a math subject, alas."

……

After everyone had dinner, they would go to KTV as usual. Yi Yuanxin couldn't sing, so the following activities were postponed.He was still carrying a schoolbag, and the homework in it was untouched for the first time. He made up homework in the afternoon to kill some time.Shan Ren silently followed behind him without taking the initiative to speak, and followed him all the way to the classroom before leaving.

"My god, my god, let me copy my geography homework."

Before Yi Yuanxin warmed up his seat, Lin Miao came to look for him, probably because he was still in the belly row because of the inconvenience of the front and back tables.But Yi Yuanxin touched the schoolbag, dodged his eyes left and right, and replied awkwardly: "...I haven't done it yet."

"Wow, are all of you high school masters so pushy now? The monitor came to school early in the morning to make up homework, and I didn't copy it. Now you are doing the same!"

"Shan Ren... came early in the morning?" Yi Yuanxin only paid attention to this point. After the trip to Shanghai, he didn't know the whereabouts of Shan Ren.And Lin Miao didn't notice that Yi Yuanxin was in a daze, so he said to himself: "It's also strange, I thought the class leader would ask for a day off, his former classmate Guan Yi passed away due to illness at home on New Year's Eve Today, their classmates all went to express their condolences, and the class leader seems to be silent." Maybe there are many complicated relationships between boys, and it's not as good as imagined.

Lin Miao saw that the homework was not coming yet, so he walked away. Before leaving, he asked Yi Yuanxin to do it quickly so that he could answer the questions later, but Yi Yuanxin sat there for a long time, not interested in studying at all.Thinking of those few days, was he contacting his classmates?

When Shan Ren returned to his seat, Yi Yuanxin withdrew his heart and quietly made up his homework beside him, and there was no sign of him asking for peace.Although he hesitated and repeated, but only in his heart, he will not hold back on the face, although he can't turn the chapter quickly, he will not look back.

However, he may still have underestimated the feeling of being broken in love, especially the position of Shan Ren in his heart.He also understood subconsciously, so he deliberately avoided it at home for two days, but once he returned to school, even though his face was calm, his heart was already in a mess.It was also in the past few days that he realized that his high school was really small, so small that even in a crowded restaurant, he could meet back and forth.

The seats in the restaurant were originally limited. In the past, they used to occupy the seats first, and Yi Yuanxin went to buy vegetables, so now when Yi Yuanxin was looking for a vacant seat with the food, he could only see the vacant seat in front of Shan Ren in embarrassment. One side of heaven and earth.Although there were still some seats in the corner, the "group living phenomenon" prompted him to sit silently in front of Shan Ren, lowered his head and quickly picked his dinner plate, as if he couldn't wait to leave here.

"Eat slowly, it's not good for digestion."

Shan Ren still couldn't help but open his mouth to care, his tone remained the same, and the concern remained unchanged.Yi Yuanxin did stop for a second when he heard the words, but then he swallowed desperately again, got up and left before eating half, and Shan Ren called his name repeatedly without looking back.

Shan Ren looked at his own food, only to realize that he hadn't eaten at all, and the grains of rice were still piled up there emitting heat.

In class in the evening, Yi Yuanxin rubbed his stomach, and he felt a little hungry as expected. At the age of puberty and growing up, even two bowls of rice would not be too much.Feeling the empty spleen and stomach echoing the sound, he tried to ignore it, chose to get up and walked to Jin Mugao's side, and asked, "Shall we run together tonight?"

In fact, it was also to relieve his mood. He couldn't pass out in class because he had no appetite and didn't eat at this juncture.Jin Mugao was very happy that Yi Yuanxin invited him, but he refused.

"Something happened to my mother on New Year's Day. I have to go to the hospital to take care of her recently, so I'm sorry that I don't have time to accompany you recently."

As soon as he reminded him, Yi Yuanxin realized later that Jin Mugao was not in the dormitory at night recently, and he was always entangled in his own affairs, and cared less about him.

"Say hello to your mother for me, and I'm sorry that I didn't notice your situation."

"It's okay, if you can handle your own affairs well, you will improve a lot than before."

Jin Mugao sat looking at him, looking like a senior, and spoke directly, but Yi Yuanxin showed his first smile in recent days, even though it was a wry smile.

He returned to his seat and was in a daze again and again. Shan Ren brought a cup of oatmeal in front of him without noticing it for a while.Smelling the fragrance, I saw this cup of something that suddenly appeared in front of me. I looked towards Shan Ren, and there was another cup on his table, and the porcelain cup was exactly the same...

"How can I just eat a little at night? Drink this cup of oatmeal."

He glanced at Shan Ren at this moment, and immediately looked away, staring blankly at the hot oatmeal on the table. If he cared more about himself a few days ago, he wouldn't be like this.He didn't ask Shan Ren to hang around him all day, it's just that the feeling of being ignored all day still feels uncomfortable thinking about it.

Love has a shelf life, and he doesn't blame Shan Ren, it's just that the shelf life...why is it so short?

"You should put this cup away, it will be misunderstood." He gently pushed the cup back to the right bit by bit, he would rather be a villain and push people away completely.I don't want to procrastinate, no matter how reluctant I am, I won't give the other party any more chances.

In this regard, Shan Ren is no match for Yi Yuanxin.The breakup they took for granted later was Shan Ren's best effort to make it up. As long as he knew that his concern for each other had not been exhausted, then he would never let go!

Although Yi Yuanxin's behavior and his words are very hurtful, especially because he is afraid that people will misunderstand this point, which almost shatters his last confidence, but so what?As long as there is still a little liking, then he will use it to start a prairie fire!

The last cup of oatmeal was poured out by Shan Ren early in the morning after it was left overnight so cold that it almost frosted.And that night, he finally followed Yi Yuanxin to the playground, returning from the starting point to the starting point.

Yi Yuanxin walked to the stands, turned around and faced Shan Ren, with the indifference in his eyes that most people would not want to approach, except for Shan Ren at this moment. "Don't you understand what I mean? Is it interesting for you to do this?" Yi Yuanxin couldn't hold on to his indifference for a second, and his face was full of helplessness when he opened his mouth.In front of Shan Ren, he is already a transparent existence.

"I just don't understand! You left inexplicably that day, how do I know what you mean?"

Obviously, Shan Ren was just pretending to be stupid. Yi Yuanxin turned his head and tried to communicate with him peacefully. If it doesn't work, they can... be friends.

"I don't want to say those two words, but...we..."

"Why not!"

These days, Shan Ren admits that he has neglected Yi Yuanxin, but he did not expect such consequences. After a few days of calm thinking, he will only become more determined!Even if the family disagrees now, so what, Ai Yiyuan believes in Shan Ren!

His scorching eyes are what Yi Yuanxin is most afraid of at the moment, Yi Yuanxin can stick to his original idea on everything, except this matter.However, he was really a little scared... Whether it was the possibility of the deterioration of love that he had thought before, or the fact that there was no future in the future.

If Shan Ren knew what Yi Yuan was thinking in his heart, then he would be glad that he didn't tell him worse news.Yi Yuanxin is a deserter emotionally, as long as there is a slight obstacle, he may be shaken.He won't be so stupid as to love Yi Yuanxin all, because everyone has shortcomings, and he just wants to use his own protection to cover up these shortcomings.

"Shan Ren, let go, I'm really tired. If you don't understand, then I can say that I used to swear that feelings and studies do not conflict, but now I can't." He had no other good reason, he could only Starting from this point, Shan Ren actually laughed when he heard this sentence.

He only remembered Shan Ren's later words that night: Let me tell you, these two things still don't conflict!Science proves that people think with their brains, but you love me with your heartbeat at the moment!

After hearing this sentence, Yi Yuanxin turned and walked away in a hopeless manner. He didn't dare to talk to Shan Ren any more, because he couldn't get any benefits with words.What was even more frightening was that his heartbeat was abnormally fast, and the feeling of the heartbeat was in his throat, and he could clearly feel every breath.

As soon as he closed his eyes, tears fell quietly, because he really didn't know what to do?