How to go through the script when dressed as a disabled male protagonist?

Someone is practicing the art of cardiac arrest.

Ten months passed in a flash.

In June, when the weather will heat up next year, Osamu Dazai will be 15 years old.

Both maintain a certain imperative goal, reduce the number of meetings, and not affect each other's life.On the day of his birthday, Osamu Dazai received a cross-border courier from the kind-hearted man Kusuo Saiki, a birthday gift from Hyakkimaru, and a... lady's yukata.

The yukata has fine stitches, and the fabric is not very good in modern times, but the cutting and sewing are very careful, and considerately consider the 15-year-old body shape.The yukata has a black background and a white pattern, which is very similar to the clothes that Hyakkimaru first wore when he traveled to this world. At a glance, it is obvious that Hyakkimaru's adoptive father made it for him.

Because of this incident, Nakahara Nakaya who accidentally saw Osamu Dazai laughed for a whole month.

"Hahahaha——! I just said how he got close to you, he actually treated you like a girl!!!"

Zhong Yuanzhong also laughed wildly and slapped the table.

Because the orange-haired boy was immersed in the jokes, he kept recalling the process of getting along with Hyakkimaru and Dazai Osamu, completely ignoring Dazai Osamu's cold face and tearing up some mission reports.

When Zhongyuan Zhong also found that the report he had written was gone, it was too late to cry.

Anyway, the official rank crushes people to death.

Osamu Dazai picked up his birthday gift and floated away.

Not long after, under the urgent communication from the head of the port mafia, Nakahara Chuya received an order to rush into Dazai Osamu's room in the port mafia, and rescued the mackerel who committed suicide because he couldn't think about it.After swearing at Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Nakaya walked away with disapproval, and slammed the door hard. He felt that the other party was just teasing him, and it was impossible to really die.

The truth is not far away. How could Osamu Dazai want to die? Now he has become one of the spiritual pillars of Hyakkimaru. The person who is eager to survive is holding him tightly, waiting to take him to pursue the future together.

Even with such expectations, Osamu Dazai's mood is still gloomy.

I can't go to another world by myself.

Because of the supernatural ability of "disqualification in the world", because of his innate nullification characteristics, he can't participate in the 15-year-old life of Hyakkimaru, can't help the other party, and is worthless than passers-by in another world.

Passers-by... at least they can give a helping hand and provide information.

This blank period of life is hidden in Dazai Osamu's heart like a stick in his throat, and he has never revealed it to anyone.

With the goal of "attempted suicide", he began to commit suicide continuously, looking for a way to die but not die.In order not to be discovered by Hyakkimaru who occasionally came to see him, Osamu Dazai began to find various excuses to delay the time of the next meeting, so that Hyakkimaru could stay in another world with peace of mind and look for traces of the demon god.

Hyakkimaru believes in the power of fate, so he concentrates on everything he does, never worrying about not finding the Demon God.

And Osamu Dazai——

He doesn't believe in anyone other than Hyakkimaru, he doesn't believe in fate, he desperately wants to go to the world of Hyakkimaru, and use his power to protect Hyakkimaru to reduce the possibility of accidents.

"I will definitely pass."

"Wait for two years? Impossible, I will try my best to shorten the time."

"Hundred Ghost Pills..."

"Don't come to see me, I don't want you to worry about me during the battle, I hate myself for being powerless..."

"I...will...succeed..."

At night, Osamu Dazai followed Mori Ogai back to the black doctor's clinic after get off work.

Everything is as usual.

It’s just that there are no more Hyakkimaru in this “usual”, and the “double bed” in the ward has become a single bed, leaving a bed that no one sleeps on by the wall.Whenever there are injuries and patients who cannot go to regular hospitals and want to stay, Mori Ogai will tactfully persuade them to leave, and if it is impossible, they will hand them over to the young Osamu Dazai.

As he learned the rules of the dark world in the port mafia, Osamu Dazai became worse and worse day by day. Usually he would not bear the burden of life. He learned how to make life worse than death under the teaching of Mori Ogai.

Such things as crime... people don't offend me, I don't offend others, his cleanliness is for Hyakkimaru, not for those scum and scum that even Dazai is disgusting.

In the black medical clinic not far from Leibo Street.

After work, Ogai Mori looked at Dazai Osamu who was fiddling with glassware, his head grew big, and said earnestly, "Dazai-kun, are you trying to make poison by putting together so many drugs that are mutually incompatible?"

Osamu Dazai stirred unconsciously for a long time, and when he heard the sound, he looked at the "unidentified object" in the glass vessel.

"Will you die if you drink it in one sip?"

"will not."

"Why? The medicine in Mr. Sen's clinic is so bad???"

"I'll wash your stomach!"

Mori Ogai's sternness couldn't last long, he shrugged his shoulders, raised a dull hair in his receding bangs, and said weakly: "Dazai-kun, don't trouble me anymore, I would rather you go to work every day to catch fish , and I don’t want to often receive news of your suicide, it’s a very hard job to prevent you from committing suicide!”

Calculation error.

I thought that Lord Hundred Ghosts would go home, and Dazai-kun, who does not have a spouse, would work hard...

It was because he was too naive and miscalculated the relationship between the two and the influence of Hyakki-kun. The exposed Dazai-kun lost the restraint of "normal people" and developed in a direction that Mori Ogai didn't want to see.

【Dazai-kun cannot die. 】

[How can this useful chess piece and the diamond I picked out be damaged by this kind of thing. 】

[There can no longer be new chaos in the port mafia. 】

【Dazai-kun is a "witness" and my accomplice in murdering the former leader. I have mastered Dazai-kun's emotional weakness. As long as I use it properly, Dazai-kun can be used by me for the rest of my life. 】

Mori Ogai hid his cold thoughts under warmth, his overworked eyes were listless.

"You want the fake death medicine, it's not that I can't get it for you..."

"Useless."

Osamu Dazai dipped a small amount of liquid into the glass, put it in front of the tip of his tongue, and licked it.Bailan Jesso has been released back to Italy, and he has video calls with him on weekdays, providing many channels for fake death drugs.

He tried it, and the effect of the fake death medicine is difficult to control, and the instability is very large.

Saiki Kusuo told him that this method is very dangerous. When traveling through time and space, he will be exposed to other energy fluctuations from the outside world. He does not know when he will be stimulated and wake up.In order to enhance the subjective controllability, Osamu Dazai tried to stop breathing, tried to close the mind of the brain, and even tried the method of suffocation. He found that the only way was to stop the heartbeat and stop the blood supply to the brain. During this period of time, the invalidation ability will be invalid.

Of course, he was tested with the equipment provided by Bailan Jesso, without a "clinical experiment", Saiki Kusuo would never agree that he used suicide to do the experiment, and he might tell Hyakkimaru directly.

This doesn't work either, that doesn't work either.

How could Osamu Dazai be willing to accept his fate? He believed that Saiki Kusuo was not interested in watching him every day. When the other party was in class or sleeping, it was a good time for him to experiment on himself.

"Okay, it's so bad." Osamu Dazai found water to rinse his mouth, "I'm sorry for making Mr. Mori feel a headache."

"Go to rest after rinsing your mouth." Mori Ogai walked over and poured out the glass of dangerous mixture.

Osamu Dazai raised his head and asked him, "Mr. Mori doesn't want to kill me?"

"I want to kill you. I have countless chances." Mori Ogai felt that he couldn't complain anymore. Mr. Natsume was extremely dissatisfied with his teaching methods, and he was wronged. Dazai-kun never followed the usual routine. You can teach the other party by being more black-hearted, "This is easier than drinking water. For example, if I didn't stop you just now, you probably swallowed poison in one gulp. For example, you committed suicide in the port mafia. I don't care about you. You Then he died."

Hearing this, Osamu Dazai said "good night" to Mr. Mori with his iris-colored eyes wide open without any emotional fluctuations.

Then, he had no conscience to go to the bathroom to take a shower.

Mori Ogai was discouraged.

Mr. Dazai is easy to deceive without Mr. Zhongye, but if he were Mr. Zhongye, he would probably be too moved.

Well, Chuya-kun would not like to commit suicide... The example was unsuccessful.

The bathroom in the clinic is small, but Mori Ogai is a person who knows how to enjoy himself. He installed a bathtub for soaking in the bath. This bathtub used to be the place where Osamu Dazai helped Hyakkimaru clean his body. I never came again, and graciously gave this small piece of land to Osamu Dazai and Hyakkimaru.

The bathtub was filled with hot water, and it was about to overflow. Osamu Dazai untied his clothes and bandages, and added a few new scars on his body, which were not completely healed, and were extremely conspicuous on the skin that had faded from the old wounds.

He took a shower under the shower first, then lay down in the bathtub and spit bubbles for a while.

During this process, his expression didn't change, as if he couldn't understand the Japanese way of enjoying the bath.In his eyes, the material life is good or bad, and the surrounding environment is high-end. Osamu Dazai’s past family background is not as good as those famous rich and powerful, but he is not a commoner, and a commoner will not be surprised in any place No change, treating money as nothing, seeing through the minds of big people at a young age.

Dazai Osamu thought casually: "It's better to live a wandering life with Hyakkimaru..."

The bigger the house, the farther away people's hearts are. Fortunately, he and Hyakkimaru are not such people.

"so boring."

Without Hyakkimaru to warm his bed, he would rub against him.

"It's annoying."

Mr. Sen's nagging, meaningless nonsense, if he really wanted to help, it would not be a verbal education.

"I really... want to die, Hyakkimaru."

A self who accomplishes nothing.

The undercover status of the special agent department has become useless, and it can only be used when cleaning up. The port mafia is busy with work, and Mr. Mori squeezed him to spare no effort and instilled him with all kinds of content that aroused negative emotions.

"The method of whitening the soul is too troublesome. I'm not interested in doing a good job. In my opinion, there is no difference between saving people and killing people." Osamu Dazai couldn't help but look at his left hand. The blood is black, but the scar on it proves that he tried it several times, well, the blood is dark red.

He took the blade out of the crevice next to the bathtub, put it in front of his eyes and looked at it.

The blade is reflective.

The figure above seemed to be a slightly grown-up version of himself, with longer hair, less baby fat, and a protruding larynx on his neck, but his eyes were much darker.

Osamu Dazai is very good-looking, he is a handsome boy who can be liked by passers-by at first glance.

However, his heart is cold.

"try again."

"Control the stop time of the heart, let the brain stop thinking...don't think about these things..."

However, thick blood flowed out...

He still really wants to leave this lonely world and go to the world where Hyakkimaru is fighting hard.It would be great if death could take him through time and space, instead of leaving him alone in a daze...

Touching the edge of life and death, he occasionally fears what to do if he succeeds, whether Hyakkimaru will be sad.Osamu Dazai couldn't help watching the passing vitality, the hot water in the bathtub was not warm enough to stop the chills pouring out of his body, and extreme selfish thoughts came to mind: Why should I live for other people.

He lay on the edge of the bathtub and said in an extremely low voice.

"It hurts, Hyakkimaru."

Thinking slows down.

The heart loses its beating under the terrible control... for one second, two seconds, three seconds...

Time passed in silence.

After waiting for a long time, it was discovered that Osamu Dazai was in danger of drowning in the bathroom. After knocking on the door many times without answering, Mori Ogai ordered Alice to force open the locked door of the bathroom, and large red patches were printed in front of one big and one small eyes. .

The daily style of painting suddenly changed to the direction of homicide.

"Fuck!"

I thought you would drown yourself at most, but you actually slit your wrists to commit suicide!Think cleaning is not difficult?

"Dazai-kun, when you wake up, get up and wipe the floor for me!"

Teacher Natsume.

He almost couldn't bear to save people all day long.

The author has something to say:

Do you feel sweet after reading this chapter~, Osamu Dazai is thinking about Hyakkimaru.

Osamu Dazai, a man who loves to eat knives, even in his youth he liked to feed himself knives.

Osamu Dazai: Suicide is really relaxing~.

Hyakkimaru: ...

Mori Ogai: Yes, after all, you even stopped your brain.

Saiki Kusuo: I have no choice, he commits suicide every day when I have no time to use clairvoyance.

Hyakkimaru: TAT Dororo! ! ! ! ! !