don't sacrifice

Weedy orphanage, full of rusted railings and swings that are almost broken.When you open your eyes, you will see the pale ceiling, and when you close your eyes, you will hear the sound of desolate wind.

On rainy days, the humid air caused sporadic dark green moss to grow on the walls, and the roof leaked, which accompanied every rainy night when I was a child.But if it was a sunny day, the sun would be so fierce every day that the leaves would turn yellow, and the old cat in the yard would hide in the shadows too lazy to move a step.

At this time, he didn't have a name yet, his parents died when he was born, and he was sent to the only half-dead orphanage in the county.He is a taciturn child, and he usually likes to sit alone on the steps of the orphanage in a daze.At this moment, he still doesn't know what is conspiracy and what is cunning in the world, but he has been surviving in this crack early on, absorbing the desolation of life.

Until the age of nine, a luxurious car drove into this small county town.All the people in the county came out to watch, the women chattered with their babies in their arms, the men timidly approached with their labor tools on their shoulders, and even the old man sitting under the eaves to enjoy the shade stretched his neck and looked there silently.

The luxury car drove straight to the orphanage, kicking up the loess flying all the way.

He saw all this from the small window. Although he was curious, he didn't react. He just stood up and opened the window so that he could hear more noise from outside.

The car stopped in the small courtyard, the door opened, and several men in black got out of the car first.They gathered around the door of the car, opened the door again in a respectful gesture, and helped a man down.

The moment the man got out of the car, his eyes widened in the attic.This is the first time he has seen such a good-looking person who cannot be described.He was still in elementary school, and his only vocabulary was not worthy of this man's extraordinary temperament.But even after many years, when he recalled the scene when he first saw Gong Xing again, he still couldn't think of words to describe it.

The dean of the orphanage rushed over after hearing the news. It was the first time she had seen such a scene. Standing in her own yard, she seemed embarrassed, but hurriedly led the distinguished guest to the office.

However, at this moment, the man surrounded by bodyguards in black suddenly raised his head, and saw him in the attic who was also looking at him.The moment his eyes made contact, his small shoulders trembled slightly, but he quickly regained his composure.Because in this man's sharp gaze, he actually saw some tenderness.

Just like the wilderness he has been to, bare feet can feel the pain of wheat stalks piercing the soles of the feet, but they can touch the most moist land.

This short ten-second look at each other changed his life.

"That kid, what's his name?" The man stopped in his tracks and asked the dean with a sideways glance.

"He doesn't have a name!" The dean hurried over to introduce him, "He usually doesn't like to talk, and we always call him hello when we have something to do. He is nine years old this year, and he was sent to our hospital as soon as he was born... ..."

However, the man did not listen to the dean's introduction patiently, but left everyone behind and turned into the building directly.

The footsteps in the corridor outside the door were getting closer and closer. As a young man, he didn't know whether the person outside the door was about to pull him into hell, a devil, or an angel who could bring him glory.He just turned around slightly, his hands still on the window frame.

The next second, the door was opened.The fine dust was flying in the sun, and the delicate cheeks were decorated with sunshine, making them more moist, close at hand.

"Hey!" Gong Xing greeted him, then casually walked to his side, leaning against him and sitting on the floor.

"What's your name?" he asked him himself.

"I don't have a name." Sure enough, I got the same answer as the dean.

"Then how old are you?" Gong Xing put his legs together, put his hands on his chin, and asked in such a gentle voice, the corners of his mouth revealed his cute canine teeth.

"...Nine years old." He didn't expect this person to be so gentle, and suddenly felt a little bit shy.

"Have you been to school?"

"I went to elementary school at the age of seven, and now I am in the third grade."

"Do you like reading?"

"It's okay." He thought for a while and replied.

Gong Xing puts his hands behind his back, and looks beyond the window to the distance.In the distance is a desolate wilderness, with the strongest north wind whistling past.

"Then do you want to live a better life?" Gong Xing softly asked the child beside him.

"Having a good life?" The young man couldn't understand, "What is a good life?"

Gong Xing was silent for a while, then replied, "You can eat whatever you want, and go wherever you want. When you wake up every day, you will no longer face the barren wilderness, but the streets full of traffic. At night It’s feasting and feasting, never lonely.”

When Gong Xing said this, his eyes were hazy.It seems that the scenes he described are all emerging in front of him at this moment.The young child couldn't understand the deep meaning in his words, but he felt that a life where he could eat delicious food was a good life, so he nodded.

"Being my son, you can get these." Seeing him nodding, Gong Xing turned to face him, and brushed the messy hair behind his ears with one hand.His eyes were full of his reflection, and he also saw the surprised face in Gong Xing's eyes, which was gradually melted away by the gentle mist.

He nodded again, he couldn't stand the temptation in this man's eyes, he agreed.

"I'll give you a name." Gong Xing smiled, and looked out the window thoughtfully again.After a long time, he seemed to be talking to himself, "There is an idiom called Yiran Zishen... I have lost 'Yi Ran', so let me have a 'Zi Ran'." After finishing speaking, Gong Xing looked at him again, and said , "My surname is Gong. You can call me Gong Zide from now on. This way you will have a new name, and you won't be called 'Hello' in the future. How about it? Do you like it?"

"like."

This is the first sentence he said after becoming Gong Zide.

Before leaving, Gong Zizi pulled the corner of Gong Xing's clothes and asked him, "Why did you choose me?"

And Gong Xing was taken aback, then smiled at him, "Because you won't be afraid of me."

What kind of words is this, Gong Zide allowed himself to curl his lips, he is so gentle, how could anyone be afraid?

However, he will not understand the meaning behind these words until he has traveled thousands of miles to Beihai, to Gongxing's mansion.The person who met such a gentle person for the first time never said a word to himself along the way.He kept his eyes closed all the time, looking preoccupied.

When he first arrived at the Gong family's mansion, Gong Zide was amazed by the grandeur and battle.A line of servants greeted them at the door, and when they saw him, they bowed and greeted the young master in unison, as if he had long been a member of the family.

Gong Zide was a little frightened, he subconsciously reached out to grab Gong Xing's hand, but what he touched was the cold back of the hand.Gong Xing shook his hand away without even looking at him.

"Give him a change of clothes."

Gong Xing gave an order to the servant beside him, and went upstairs without looking back.Only the palace was left alone, at the mercy of the servants.

In the days that followed, Gong Zide saw the terrifying side of his adoptive father even more.When Gong Xing was in a meeting, he would call him over to listen in. During the meeting, his cold words to his subordinates and the terrible handling made Gong Ziyi terrified.He also treats himself extremely harshly, and after making a mistake, he will be beaten with a deadpan face.And the tenderness in his eyes at the beginning no longer exists, like a pool of spring water has frozen, freezing everything.

This matter was something he couldn't understand at the beginning, how could a person's tenderness disappear in an instant.But when he became an adult, he even started to use the same method against other people.Only then did he understand that the so-called spring breeze-like gentleness in Gong Xing's hands was just a tool, the means used to bring him back.His father is worthy of being a master, and he has never failed in this regard.

Gradually, Gong Zide learned a lot from Gong Xing's side.He understood the so-called conspiracy and cunning, how to hold up a sky in the dark, learned to control the overall situation and even learned how to cover himself.

Gradually, he worshiped his father more and more, and he also silently inherited many of the same characteristics as Gong Xing.But compared to Gong Xing, he is more vigilant and hypocritical, and has become moody under years of distorted education, and his perverse personality sometimes even makes him unable to understand his true heart.

He hid himself too deeply, and felt too tired at the same time.So he, like his father, developed the habit of finding a man to sleep with.Gong Xing knew this from the very beginning, and he didn't try to stop him too much, he just emphasized many times that Gong Ziyi didn't allow him to have true feelings.

Seeing that Gong Zide has become more and more mature under his own guidance, he is already fully capable of being alone.At this time, Gong Xing also suffered from headaches, which would occur from time to time.Finally he understood that his time was over, and he had passed the days of walking on thin ice for decades, so he called Gong Zide to his office.

However, in Gong Zide's eyes, his father is still as majestic and capable as before. He does not admit that his father is actually old, and he rejects his father's proposal to let him take over the business.

"You have to be obedient..." However, when his father sighed and said such words with his eyes slightly lowered, his heart felt like an earthquake.Even at the beginning, his father couldn't speak to him in such a feeble tone.This tone sounds like begging for mercy, like being with yourself, and like being with everything.

He finally understood that Gong Xing was no longer the famous drug lord in Beihai back then.He is also old and no longer able to fight guerrilla warfare with the police.Finally Gong Zide clenched his lips and nodded silently, like when he was brought to him ten years ago, Gong Xing finally fulfilled his original goal of finding a successor for himself.

"There is one sentence, you have to remember." However, just before Gong Xing was about to leave the country, he called Gong Zide to the rooftop.In the distance are tall buildings and heavy traffic, and the noisy crowd is flowing under their feet.Gong Xing looked into the distance, his eyes had already become chaotic, without the slightest tenderness anymore,

"You have to remember, never take your feelings seriously." He said, casually hitting Gong Ziyi on the shoulder.He is already shorter than him, "If you really fall in love with someone, you will become very weak, and he will break your bottom line and beat you to death with just one look. So, if you want to Be strong all the time, then don't fall in love with anyone."

Gong Zide nodded, he didn't have much rich feelings to use on others.All love hunting is just a touch of water to him, just a bed of joy.He never thought that he would have a serious day.

Never.