Buddha, give me another smile

The third part

[-]. If I don’t want to, what can you do to me?

There was only the tinkling sound of utensils colliding in his ears. Zhang Tiaotiao could not speak or move, but was bound by various machines.

He squinted his eyes, his mind was in a mess, and he couldn't understand anything, so he didn't want to think about anything.

He just suddenly remembered that curb.

The curb that made him fight countless times and escape countless times to recuperate.

Zhang Tiaotiao didn't like studying, because even if he got full marks every time, when he was ten years old, his father, who was teaching at the university, still eloped with his students.

When he was 14 years old, his mother married the head teacher who often went to his house and gave him a small stove.

Later Zhang Tiaotiao stopped studying.

He also has no home.

He liked that curb because he could see his third tablemate, the only girl who didn't mock him.

He snatched the popsicle from the canteen because the girl had given him the same popsicle.

He could no longer remember what the girl looked like, he only remembered that the popsicle was very cold.

It was as cold as Azu's gaze when he pushed him away.

Azu...

Saying this name once, Zhang Tiaotiao felt his heart being whipped once with a whip.

The first time I saw Azu, his eyes were as cold as popsicles.

It's just that he habitually deceived himself again and again, refusing to face the alienation behind the solemnity.Just like he thought that after running away, he would not have a broken home.Just like the dream he wove, thinking that the popsicle he snatched was also the girl's friendliness.

Zhang Tiaotiao wanted to laugh at himself.

But there are some things that simply cannot escape, cannot be avoided, cannot be avoided.

In the future, when he remembered popsicles again, Zhang Tiaotiao thought, maybe he would only remember Azu's calm face.

Why did Azu push him away?What did Azu say?

Where did he go wrong?

Zhang Tiaotiao could no longer tell who that "reign of terror" was from him.It was clearly two people, but he clearly felt Xifeng Yuxue's determination to force him to hang himself together. A white silk tied the two people, and they died together if they didn't get married.

Could it be that the love that collapsed that day was just his wishful thinking?

He clearly felt that when he was on hunger strike, he locked him up, watched him cry, quarreled with him, listened to him scolding, and let him beg, but he just refused to let him eat.

He didn't eat either, and the two of them were so hungry that they regurgitated acid water, but Azu didn't let go.The process is not as simple as what Azu said!

"I'm so hungry and I don't want to die, so I have no choice but to promise not to break up."

This is just a joke.

Zhang Tiaotiao's stomach twitched for a while. At that time, he didn't coax or lie, but just wanted him mercilessly again and again, until he couldn't lift his arms, couldn't hold him, he couldn't lift his arms, pushed don't move him.

Then the corners of Azu's eyes became moist, and he said quietly: "Why bother."

Zhang Tiaotiao's heart seemed to be pulled by someone, and the uncontrollable pain made him retch.Suddenly, he seemed to see that person again.

"Azu..."

In Zhang Tiaotiao's mind, the person he missed smiled at him and said a word, but it was no longer "Why bother".

But "obedient."

"Azu..."

What does it mean?Zhang Tiaotiao didn't know why, so he struggled and rushed over, shouting: "Azu, make it clear..."

obedient?

Is he disobedient?Did he push him away because he was disobedient?

Zhang Tiaotiao opened his eyes suddenly, and when he saw the red, he couldn't hold back the tears in his eyes.

He is back!

I change.

He looked at Xifeng Yuzu with a serious face, staggered to his side, and wiped the tears on his face with his sleeve.

I am good.

He looked at the motionless Xifeng Yuzu, took off the emerald green ring on his left thumb, and put it in his hand.

I am obedient.

Xifeng Yuzu's expression changed, this time he was no longer an unchanging iceberg, but stared blankly at the person in front of him.

Zhang Tiaotiao made a fist with his left hand and hammered his heart, making a "stick" gesture.

Then, he pushed the "stick" from his heart to Xifeng Yuzu's heart, ignoring the tears on his face, and cried: "I will give you the best."

You don't push me away.

He repeated it over and over again, hammered himself over and over again, pushed it to Xifeng Yuzu, repeated that sentence over and over again, and looked at Xifeng Yuzu with begging tears over and over again.

I don't want to be abandoned again.

He could see that Xifeng Yuzu's heart trembled, and an indistinct light flashed from the corner of his eyes.

"My lord..." Xifeng Yuzu spoke.

Zhang Tiaotiao was startled, it was different from before!He sniffed, "Can you move?"

Xifeng Yuzu didn't speak.

Zhang Tiaotiao knew that he couldn't move yet.He leaned over, sat beside him, and said, "I just fell down, and I have a cell in my head."

Xifeng Yuzu went inside without knowing it.

"I don't know how to untie the acupuncture point, you should be healed soon."

"..."

"Azu, I'm sorry for you..."

"..."

"But I don't regret it."

"..."

"I……"

Xifeng Yuzu sighed, put the ring in his hand on Zhang Tiaotiao's left thumb, and said, "I know."

"you know?"

"I don't regret it either." Xifeng Yuzu raised his hand, gestured for the action he had watched many times, pushed it to Zhang Tiaotiao's heart, and said, "If I don't want to, what can you do to me?"

Zhang Tiaotiao looked at the fingers in front of him, and circled the milky white ring of mutton fat jade, feeling a little confused again.

Azu doesn't regret it, Azu is willing!

Azu wasn't angry because he raped him, so why?

He cupped the hand in his hand to his lips, and kissed it lovingly, and the person who was kissed pinked his cheek.He looked at the pretty face, smiled, pulled the hand behind his head, and said: "There is a baby, it hurts, you touch it."

Xifeng Yuzu looked at the coquettish person, and sure enough he touched a sibling.He pulled him over, let Zhang Tiaotiao lay in his arms, touched the baby carefully, and asked, "What else is uncomfortable?"

"Some things I remember, some things I don't remember."

"So it is!" Xifeng Yuzu sighed.

This is it again!

Zhang Tiaotiao earned a bit, got up, and asked: "What?" He always felt that this sentence was very meaningful.

"It's nothing."

"You tell me."

"It's nothing."