Dear girl

The daylight shines through the light blue solid-color curtains into gentle light, and a new day begins again.

Song Xinci lazily turned over, buried his head in the pillow, and sat up five seconds later, covering his face with his hands.Xia Yao went to work, and there was a sticky note on the alarm clock on the bedside table - Good morning, breakfast is on the dining table.

Song Xinci reached out and peeled off the note. On the small pink square note, the handwriting was beautiful and euphemistic.Song Xinci looked at it and smiled, lowered his head and sniffed lightly, there was a faint fragrance of ink.

Song Xinci stretched his waist, put on a beige cotton mop, and walked to the living room.There are breakfast sausages, bacon, omelets, a piece of toast, some lettuce and a few small tomatoes on a white porcelain plate, with ketchup and a glass of milk on the side.

This breakfast reminded Song Xinci of the international summer camp he attended during the summer vacation in elementary school. When he was in the United States, he ate similar to this, but a little richer.Her mother reported her name, and she didn't want to go, but she was an obedient child at that time.

Song Xinci holds the tooth jar in his left hand and the toothbrush in his right hand, feeling the vibration of the toothbrush head on the surface of the teeth.

Does that mean you still have to test for a press card?

**

At nine o'clock in the morning, Xia Yao took a whole morning off.

There is a psychological clinic a few streets away from the Yangchuan Daily Building.After an hour of sitting at her job, she finally decided to take a look.

For the sake of the family, for the sake of Song Xinci, no matter what, he must work hard to get better.

The lonely and thin air in winter is cold, and although the sun is abundant, it doesn't seem to be alive.

There were not many people on the street, so she walked very slowly.

She knew what she was afraid of, hope not.

A bench was leaning against the wall of the department, with her sitting on one end, and a skinny man sitting on the other, who seemed to be only in his twenties, with his head lowered, staring blankly at the concrete floor in a daze.

Xia Yao sighed inwardly, and turned her head to look out the window.The incoming sunlight cuts the light into clear lines, like gold dust sprinkled on one piece, and the lifeless dust swirls and floats inside, like the epitaph of time.

On the other side, the two of them were sitting quietly, one was bent over with his hands on his lap, the other was leaning on a chair, looking out the window.

Like waiting for something, is it hope or a sentence?To give up or to redeem?

I don't know when it started, it seems that the source of her happiness has been controlled by Song Xinci.Only when Song Xinci turned on the switch, could she laugh.

It seems that it is no longer the sun that shines in her world, but that person's eyes. What happens when the eyes look away?All the warm things slipped away.

The remaining cold gray, like golden molten iron, spread from all directions, watering her in a closed space.

Nowhere.

What a horrible place.

The doctor asked her some questions, and then asked her to do a set of problems on the computer.

She crossed her fingers and looked at her with a smile: "Okay, now let's talk about the problems you encountered."

"Problem." Xia Yao repeated in a low voice, "Wash your hands repeatedly and close the door."

The doctor nodded: "Let's put it another way." He kept smiling, "Tell me your story."

Xia Yao: "I don't have any stories."

"Okay." The doctor kept looking at Xia Yao politely and gently, "Are you thirsty?"

"Not thirsty, thank you."

"Since when did you discover that you have these bad psychological symptoms?"

Xia Yao thought for a while: "A few months ago."

"What caused it?"

"Work."

"Just repeating some behavior? Any depressed mood, poor appetite, etc.?"

"Insomnia, can't sleep all night. Can't put my all into something."

……

Xia Yao grabbed the medical records and ran to the bathroom, feeling nauseous for a while, couldn't help but vomited sour water, vomited a few times very uncomfortable, and tears came out.When the cold water hit her face, her mind went blank, but blankness made her feel better than being awake.

The drops of water on the face wet the neckline along the chin, Xia Yao propped her hands on the sink and walked out after a while.

Then I went to pay for the medicine. The doctor prescribed three boxes of sertraline hydrochloride for her, and told her to take half a pill on the first day, one pill a day after four days, and increase to one and a half pills after four days, until it was added to three pills. .

After taking it for a while, come back for a follow-up visit to see if the dose can be lowered a little.The course of treatment is about one year. During this period, the liver function is checked every three months.

I don't know what the odds are, but she got the worst result - obsessive-compulsive depression.

She has forgotten how she walked back to the company.During the period, Song Xinci sent a WeChat message, asking to have lunch with her, but she refused, saying that she was very busy today and had no time to go out to eat.

"Xia Yao." Someone patted her on the shoulder, "Someone is looking for you in the reception room."

"Oh, thank you." Xia Yao hid the medicine and medical records in the folder on the table, and walked to the reception room, wondering who would be looking for her.

"Miss Xia." Song Wentao saw Xia Yao through the glass door, and came out to say hello, "Let's have lunch together."

Song Xinci is Song Wentao's daughter, so she may not feel that her father's aura is very strong in the eyes of others.

It may be that she just got off some activity, and she still has a delicate hairstyle. She is sprayed with hairspray, and there are a few strands of white hair on her temples.Song Wentao's broad shoulders supported the advanced custom-made navy blue suit to fit perfectly.When I was young, I didn't lose the beauty of the creamy niche, and I didn't get spoiled by the years when I was middle-aged. I only added a few wrinkles and a more admirable sense of vicissitudes of maturity.

He was obviously smiling, but there was a sharp feeling in his eyes, like an eagle with a clear goal.

The voice is deep and deep, and it is the leader Fan with one mouth.

Song Wentao cut the steak, and asked with a smile: "Miss Xia, you and Xinci seem to have known each other for many years, haven't you?"

"Uncle, you can just call me Xiaoxia." Xia Yao absent-mindedly cut the steak, her right eyelid kept twitching, her worry about intuition turned into anxiety, but she couldn't show it, "I met Xinci in 2008. It will be nine years next year."

"How many nine years are there in a person's life?" Song Wentao seemed to be sighing, "Then your relationship must be very good. To be honest, I am not a competent father. I am too busy with work and don't have much time to accompany her to grow up, but I know that she has a good friend, that is Xia Xiao... Oh, no, it is you Xiao Xia, because Xinci used to always mention you at home."

Xia Yao didn't know what to say, so she nodded politely.But she knew that this was definitely not the purpose of Song Wentao's coming to find her today.

"So, you want her to be well too." Song Wentao took a sip of the red wine, looking at Xia Yao with a seemingly gentle but tough look.

Xia Yao felt her heart sinking, but she still smiled politely: "Uncle, just speak up if you have something to say, it's fine."

Song Wentao withdrew his gaze, picked up the knife and fork, and continued to cut the steak. He seemed to be thinking about how to speak, and he said after a while: "I know that you young people pursue novelty, love fashion, and like to feel different. Just like our company's small Like young people, everyone wants to live out their own selves, but they don’t understand what the real self is. They think that they are different from the traditional ones, and they are breaking free from the so-called cage of reality, which is the so-called living meaningfully. In fact, it is not, this is just An illusion of self-deception, a value that cannot withstand scrutiny."

These words were too arbitrary, but Xia Yao didn't want to argue, she just felt very tired, and it would be nice if the meal ended here.

When it's over, it's fine.

However, it would be impolite not to answer, Xia Yao nodded: "Maybe."

It is not polite to leave the table halfway, although she would like to get up and walk out of this restaurant.It's not that she hates Song Xinci's father, she just doesn't like this occasion, this moment, or...the next words.

Song Wentao was not happy that he was in control of the overall situation. He ate a mouthful of steak, his expression seemed to be sighing for a moment, he wiped the corner of his mouth, and said calmly: "You are a good boy. In fact, I don't want to influence her life. In such a big environment, it will be difficult for you, you know? I am her father, and I hope she has a stable and reliable future."

What should come will always come, Xia Yao thought she was already mentally prepared.But the moment she heard these words, suddenly a powerful rampant force swelled in her chest. She couldn't tell what it was, but it was boiling, and she almost blurted out: "How does uncle know that the future is not reliable? Didn't try it?" It would be too hasty to give up after passing. Just like investing, you have to give it a chance to prove it.”

"I'm a businessman." Song Wentao glanced at Xia Yao, "I understand how tempting this world is. I don't believe in people's hearts, but only in things that can be determined, such as agreements, contracts, and... marriage certificates."

Hey, Xia Yao sorted out her emotions: "Instead of being happy, Uncle also hopes that Xinci will be happy."

At this time, Song Wentao's cell phone rang, he smiled and made an apologetic gesture to Xia Yao, and tapped to answer.

"Uh-huh."

"it is good."

The phone hangs up.

Song Wentao put away his mobile phone: "It's Xiaoxia like this, I have a meeting later, so I can't sit with you any longer." Then he took out a business card and put it on the table, and pushed it over, "I don't talk nonsense Yes. I think you should also know something about our family. Her mother and I have divorced a long time ago. Her mother doesn’t like children, and she doesn’t kiss her grandparents. Her grandpa is also my father. The old man. This new word in the family is closest to me. If you must be willful, I promise not to recognize this daughter. This is my business card. As long as you agree, you can come to me if you have any difficulties in the future. "

Then, Song Wentao stood up, just stepped forward, put it back, and sighed: "You are a good boy, and uncle likes you very much, but you are unlucky and born in this era. I'm sorry, please understand Father."

After talking, I went to pay the bill and walked out of the restaurant.

Xia Yao finally couldn't bear it any longer, lying on the dining table, sobbing softly.

Why the pressure should be crowded.

Give her some time and make plans one by one.

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