[1bitHeart] The closed world of you and me

It is not unusual to use numbers as names. It may be used to arrange the order of birth. There are many names like Ichiro Erlang, and there are also names with numbers for various other reasons. There are few, but there are relatively few people like him whose surname and first name are all numbers. Most people have more or less Chinese characters that are not numbers even if there are more numbers in their full names.

I forgot who it was, probably the one who became friends with him for a short time but broke up in the end?The man had asked him why, as an only son, his name had the number 'four' instead of 'one', did he have three brothers and sisters who are now absent before he was born, or something like that.

He doesn't remember how he answered it at the time, but the answer is actually very simple—it's not because there is a heavy story behind that feeling, it's just because he was born on February [-]th, because he was born on February [-]th, because he was born only four years ago. Because of my birthday, I was named "four" by my parents. It seems to be the reason for the feeling of "four years older on a birthday ~".

But when he was young, he had the naive idea of ​​"maybe I have an older brother or sister before me who is called "four"".

Probably because people always yearn for things they don’t have. As an only child, although his parents love him very much, they each have their own busy affairs and cannot be by his side all the time. I feel lonely, and I hope to have brothers and sisters to play with me──So I secretly imagined, what kind of person would I be if I really had a brother or sister above me?How will you speak?How will you play with yourself?Will he love his younger brother like the older brothers and sisters in comic novels?Or is it like what people of the same age who have real brothers and sisters around them say, always bickering and arguing with themselves, not gentle or cute at all?

Probably like this, until he grows up to the age that should be regarded as an "adult" in the eyes of others, he especially likes to call people who are older than himself "big brother" and "big sister". Of course, as he grows older , his problem gradually subsided. Basically, although he still had this habit when he was 14 years old, he felt that some people would be disgusted by such address as brother and sister. He would be honest in front of people who were very similar in age and knew their names. Salutation first name plus common title.

Of course, he knew the true origin of his name when he celebrated his first birthday, and when he grew up, he went to investigate his own information on a whim. Indeed, there were no brothers and sisters who died young or parted for some reason, so this It was just a fantasy—but he still dreamed of the so-called brother-sister friendship more or less. When reading comics, reading novels, playing games, and watching TV, he saw the model-like sister in reality. When brothers and sisters are in front of him, he always feels sincere envy for the ideal sister or brother relationship that appears in it.

This is probably also the reason why he hinted at the past him so smoothly?Although there is also a gap in experience, perhaps it is this expectation of the existence of a blood-related 'brother' or 'sister' that made him in the past accept his sudden appearance without resistance, and successfully implanted' Aisakamon' impression of this person's existence.

Probably because the conversation with Le earlier touched the memories of the past a little bit. After feeding Nanaixi’s medicine at the door, and tidying up the environment of the apartment a little bit——No way, who is the current Nanaisi still not aware of himself What about the period when you need to pay attention to the environment of the place where you stay──When I soaked a cup of thick and sweet hot cocoa and held it in my hands, sitting on the comfortable sofa I carefully picked out to rest, I inadvertently recalled the past. The idea of ​​a dream.

These thoughts are so indifferent to him at this age that he almost thinks he has forgotten them, and even he is quite surprised that he can still recall them clearly now.

But am I the kind of good brother I once dreamed of?

After thinking about it, the door slowly sipped hot cocoa, and suddenly this question popped up that he hadn't thought about before.

The door likes everything in this world, but he doesn't like himself alone—or, because he thinks everything in the world is more important and brighter than himself, he doesn't care so much about himself.

Nanessi is the man he used to be. Even if he knew this, he probably didn’t feel much about his appearance in the past because he didn’t look in the mirror very often. After returning to the past, he was a little surprised to find that his appearance had changed in the past eight years. Bigger than he thought—at least he almost couldn't remember what he looked like in the past, and he almost forgot that he was once a short boy with a round face and big eyes, smiling like his head was empty and cheerful, Instead of having such a slender body and a slender face from before, the mild smile that is not wide, and is often accused of 'feeling fake' and 'pretentious' does not seem to be like this from the beginning.

Occasionally, he also felt that it was not easy to handle his attitude towards Nanaixi, and he was not quite sure how to locate Nanaisi's existence.Occasionally I feel that it is me, so it’s okay to be a little less gentle, but occasionally I forget this, and I can’t help but want to touch his head like seeing a cute child, and I will unconsciously take care of him, but when I think back to this Even when he was the past self, he would feel a little delicate again—although it would not cause him serious troubles, it still felt a little tricky to some extent.

Strictly speaking... As far as my attitude towards Nanessi is different from what Miss Le said, I'm not a good brother, am I?

The door thought about it, thought about what he had done from the perspective of a bystander, and came to a conclusion objectively.

To Nanaixi, he is really not a delicate and thoughtful brother.Although when he was at home, he would not forget to call Naixi when he was eating, and he would also take part in Naixi when he regularly dealt with housework, but other than that, he basically would not interfere with Naixi too much, unless he did. Otherwise, he wouldn’t pay too much attention to what Nanessi is doing at home, as long as he stays at home honestly and lives well—he basically doesn’t think about other things to manage.

Just care about food and clothing, don't care about everything else. Even the door knows that this is not the attitude of an older brother who really cares about a person, and that person is a younger brother. Like his parents, even if they are laissez-faire, But he can also feel that he is cared about in various details of life, and sometimes he will be found out immediately when he is not in a good state──If I really want to say it, although it feels a bit strange to say it in this way, even he has to He admits that the way he raises Nanaixi is more like raising a pet - just tease him when he thinks of it, but when he is not in the mood, even if the other person comes over to ask for petting and play, he will just perfunctory and let the other party play by himself.

And if you really want to say it is worse than raising animals, except for a few people who raise animals on a whim, they are basically people who love animals. , who can even forget whether he has eaten or not, let alone Nanaixi who was left at home by him to fend for himself.That's why he said that in the eyes of a third party, he is definitely not a qualified good brother, or in other words—the kind of irresponsible brother who would probably be scolded if someone knew the specific way of getting along.

Speaking of which, I promised my parents to take good care of Nanaixi...just like that, why don't I try to treat Nanaixi better?Although it was a bit difficult to say that he should be nicer to his past self, it would be more convenient to just treat Nanessi as his real younger brother instead of treating him as his former self?

Thinking of Le's wrong evaluation of him, Men who noticed these things couldn't help but ponder, a little undecided.

Although if it's Nanaixi, probably no matter what it is, since he doesn't know that 'Brother Men' is him, he thinks it's OK, right?

Because for "he", as long as it's not him, everyone is a very outstanding existence──No matter what kind of "brother" is there, he won't care, right?

It's like if Nanessi is not me, no matter what kind of personality I have, I will feel that there is no problem, and I will do what I think my brother should do responsibly, right?

Thoughts were flying in Men's head, he was thinking about various things for a while, and he hadn't sorted out the conclusion yet. After drinking the hot cocoa, he fell asleep in the sweet and warm feeling package brought by the drink. caught.

It should be said that you are young, even if you have a weak foundation, your body can recover better than when you are old. After lying on the ground for a day, Naixi was almost as good the next day, and she was able to lie on the ground with great energy and roll around playing games. The TV was on, but the door accidentally fell asleep on the sofa and then he caught a cold, and then he was lying on the bed with a fever and headache, so sick that he felt that he was about to die.

Uh... Sure enough, I shouldn't be gloating yesterday, but now it's my turn.Fortunately, there are still medicines left...otherwise, no matter if you go out to buy medicines by yourself in this state, or hand them over to Nanaisi to buy them, you won't feel at ease.

After he took the medicine, he changed into softer and more comfortable pajamas and lay down to rest honestly. The door couldn't help sighing in his drowsy mind—to be honest, even if he wasn't the past self, he wouldn't dare to Let Nanaixi, who has never taken care of anyone, take care of herself.

"Brother, is there anything I can do to help?"

Somewhat conscientious, Nanessi didn't abandon himself to immerse himself in the game world after knowing that Men was also sick, but leaned over and asked a little worriedly, and reached out to touch his forehead.

"...No problem, Nanessi, just take care of yourself and let me rest alone──No, wait, there is also a small matter that I can help you with, would you like to?"

Trying to pull back the thoughts that were a little distracted by the fever, Men answered halfway through the answer with a voice that was not much better than that of Nanaixi yesterday, only to realize that even though it is impossible to do something, it would be better if it was done. So he changed his mouth and asked.

"What, what? As long as it's something I can do, it's fine!"

Nanessi immediately expressed her attitude, and her tone was very positive.The door didn't mean to be closed, and no matter whether he was regarded as another self or as a younger brother, there was really nothing to be polite to Naixi, and he directly expressed his request.

"...It's just about taking notes. If you're sick, you'll sweat, which may blur the notes, so I'd like to ask Nanessi to write them down for me before they get blurred. If you have a blank notebook, I've prepared it in the drawer in the living room."

"Brother Men, your waist is so thin, and it feels even thinner than when you put on clothes..."

Because there are some notes written on the skin inside the clothes that are not likely to be forgotten, just in case, when asking Nanessi to copy the notes, she took off her clothes before asking Nanessi to copy them.After seeing his cock's upper half, Nanessi sighed in surprise, and poked his waist curiously.

"...So that's what nutritional imbalance is like. This ridiculously thin body is the consequence. You should also pay attention to it, Nanessi. You didn't feel it when you were young, but you will know it when you are my age."

His head was more sluggish than usual, and the door, which had almost entered a half-dream and half-awake state, didn't think too much, and subconsciously replied, although it sounded quite organized, in fact, he forgot what he just said within a second of what he said .

"But Brother Men's age is not very old, at least it should be classified as young! And I think being so slender fits Brother Men's appearance very well, at least I can't imagine that his body is strong and full It's the muscular body that matches the brother's face, um."

I don't know what strange thing I imagined, Naixi expressed emotion very sincerely, and at the same time, he kept copying notes with his hands very quickly.

...Probably because I played some strange game just now. I remember that I also played various games with strange settings because of curiosity.

The door vaguely made a judgment, and he didn't bother to care about it. He didn't want to know the specific content of Naixi's thinking that might be pulled to which track by some weird game, and he was very sleepy, so he just closed his eyes and didn't Answered, pretending to be in a trance so I didn't hear clearly.

"I changed the notes on the arm. Raise your hand—meaning brother, do you want to erase the notes for you after copying? Otherwise, it will feel like it will get on your clothes."

As if he just thought of it, Nanessi asked in a brisk tone. For some reason, it made people feel a subtle sense of expectation in his voice.

Sure enough, he just played some strange game again, but what is it this time?Could it be that that GalGame called what-is-the-muscle-like person who hit the horror scene just cleared the level once, before starting to play the normal version of the second week of the bonus?I remember when I first played that game, during that time I was rarely very satisfied with my own weak body in the game.

The door was thinking firmly, a little distracted thinking that it might be some messy game he played in the past, which made the current Naixi have a stronger interest and affection for the slender figure in a short period of time than usual, and replied nonchalantly :

"... Just wipe it off, please."

"Well! Then I'll wipe it!"

Probably very happy that her proposal was passed, Nanessi replied with a very energetic voice, as if her mood was as high as her voice.

So happy... Also, if there is no one to wash the pictures of those muscular girls in clothes, I will probably dream of similar things for several nights.Forget it, it doesn't matter...

Another wave of headaches struck, Men simply gave up and continued to think about these things, and let Naixi toss about it by himself—anyway, it’s him, so feel free to touch, anyway, he knows that he has always been the same from before to now. I like girls, so I don't worry about playing too many strange games and touching too much, making Nanessi go on a strange path and never return.

After leaving the door of decision, I obeyed the fatigue brought by illness, and soon fell asleep with my eyes closed.