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Originally thought it would be difficult to fall asleep because of being distracted, but when Zhou Shangli opened his eyes, the sky was already bright, Xiao Qiuyuan had already woken up, and was watching silent TV.

"How long have you been awake?" Zhou Shangli asked, moving his neck.

Xiao Qiuyuan moved his eyes from the TV to Zhou Shangli's face, and slowly extended a smile, asking, "Are you hungry? I'm going to make breakfast?"

"Okay, what time is it?"

Xiao Qiuyuan looked around the sofa and coffee table, obviously looking for a mobile phone that can tell the time, Zhou Shangli was also looking for it, the two looked at each other for a moment, and asked in unison: "Where is the mobile phone?"

Zhou Shangli was rummaging on the sofa, thinking wildly in his mind, last night he remembered to put his mobile phone on the sofa casually, he is not a person who pays attention to tidying up things, he usually goes with the situation, just like holding back urine sometimes, knowing that it is right He is not in good health, but he just doesn't want to move, so he has to hold back, but he is not a forgetful person, he has a good memory, he can remember where he put it, and he can find it when he looks for it.

But after searching all the pillows and scarves on the sofa, the mobile phone was still missing. Looking at Xiao Qiuyuan again, he found nothing like him. Zhou Shangli couldn't help being suspicious. Did he behave improperly after falling asleep last night? Did he make any mistakes? What a strange move, he remembered that once when he went out to gather wind and sleep in a tent, his assistant's sleeping bag fell into the ditch and got wet halfway, so he squeezed into a tent with him and slept next to him. He woke up early the next morning and saw his assistant With a weird expression, he offered to resign after returning home, and later questioned him, saying that he had molested someone in his sleep, kissed him forcefully in the middle of the night, Zhou Shangli was looking for his phone while observing Xiao Qiuyuan, did he molested Xiao Qiuyuan last night?

"I remember putting it on the sofa last night, didn't I?" Zhou Shangli confirmed to Xiao Qiuyuan after finishing speaking that if he made an indecent act, he would definitely rub the phone somewhere.

"I didn't pay much attention, it should be, look under the sofa?" Xiao Qiuyuan squatted down, almost lying on the ground, looking at the sofa base.

Because the head was too close to the ground, the front of the hat hit the ground and fell from Xiao Qiuyuan's head due to the force. Zhou Shangli originally wanted to look for it together on his stomach, but at this time, Xiao Qiuyuan's head attracted all his attention and was extremely shocked. .

Xiao Qiuyuan's hair is very short, full of bumps and hollows. It looks like he cut it by himself, but the craftsmanship is not good. When they came out, some were scabbed, some left a scar, and some were fresh and red, a little irritated from wearing a hat on a hot day.

Although Xiao Qiuyuan had a crew cut before, his hair was not too short, thick and black, and the old scars on the scalp could not be seen. Now that the hair is shortened, the old scars are exposed, and the new scars are added, which is shocking.

Zhou Shangli has suffered a lot of injuries. He is very afraid of pain. Every time he is injured, it feels like losing half his life. He can hardly imagine the pain of his scalp being cut open by a knife. The best thing he protects is his head. He dare not let this What happened to such an important part of the human body structure? Seeing Xiao Qiuyuan's injury, just thinking about it made his whole body go limp, and felt the pain.

Xiao Qiuyuan picked up the hat, didn't look at Zhou Shangli, and was about to continue wearing it, Zhou Shangli grabbed Xiao Qiuyuan's hand, it was icy cold, and he couldn't tell whether it was his own hand or Xiao Qiuyuan's.

"Xiao..." Zhou Shangli shook his lips, and his heart felt like ulcers were spreading one after the other, causing dense pain.

Xiao Qiuyuan said something funny, then broke away from Zhou Shangli's hand and put the hat on, Zhou Shangli finally had to admit that this was Xiao Qiuyuan's intention, Xiao Qiuyuan was hurting himself!No matter how much blow and pain he encountered in the past, Zhou Shangli never thought of self-harm. This is a stupid behavior that tramples on self-respect. If you are yourself, then you will accept the trampling of others calmly. In Zhou Shangli's eyes, such a person is just a pile of expired shit, even a dog hates it!

But in his opinion, the expired poop that even dogs dislike is actually someone he likes, and he was even willing to give up his moral standards for him!

"Why?" Zhou Shangli asked these three words with a trembling voice. Anger had already accumulated in his heart. He didn't understand why Xiao Qiuyuan did this. If you have the courage to risk your life without such fear and pain, why not have the courage to love yourself!

Xiao Qiuyuan didn't answer, didn't want to talk, wanted to stand up and leave, but Zhou Shangli held him tightly, preventing him from getting up from the ground, and asked, "Why? Why did you hurt yourself? Don't you feel hurt? Are you not afraid?" Are you crazy! Are you sick!"

After several questions in succession, the voice became louder and louder each time, and finally roared out "Are you sick", Xiao Qiuyuan's calm face finally changed, there was a trace of anger but more of sadness, like a smooth mirror It was broken, revealing a series of cracks, frozen, and could never be put back together again.

Zhou Shangli was troubled by the word "why", and didn't care about Xiao Qiuyuan's emotional changes. It wasn't until Xiao Qiuyuan pushed him away, stood up angrily, and looked at him with disappointed eyes, that he reacted and wanted to reach out. Going to pull Xiao Qiuyuan, Xiao Qiuyuan turned around resolutely and left quickly, and soon there was the sound of closing the door.

A "bang" knocked Zhou Shangli awake completely, he hurriedly stood up and chased after him, opened the door, saw the empty corridor, and then regretted how stupid he was, recalled Xiao Qiuyuan's abnormality during this period, and asked him for help again and again It is conceivable that Xiao Qiuyuan longed for him to stand by his side, support him and encourage him instead of criticizing him. Now Xiao Qiuyuan left disappointed, and also disappointed in him, who may be the last "life-saving straw". So what will Xiao Qiuyuan do?

He can cut his head without hesitation, but he pinned his hopes on me. Now I am not an ally, but a hostile. He has completely lost support, will he... Will he commit suicide?Zhou Shangli broke out in a cold sweat when he thought of this, and turned around twice in a hurry, the first time he had no idea, like a dog knocked unconscious by a sap.

Zhou Shangli wanted to chase him out, but he couldn't find his phone. It would be very troublesome to go out without his phone. He turned back to the sofa, threw the pillow covers, some travel magazines and fashion magazines on the floor, and searched anxiously. , gritted his teeth to hold back his anger, and after turning over the sofas on both sides, he still couldn't find the phone. He was so angry that he yelled "ah" and kicked the sofa, and then heard the sound of the phone falling to the ground.

When Zhou Shangli chased out of the community with his mobile phone, Xiao Qiuyuan had long since disappeared. Zhou Shangli immediately called Xiao Qiuyuan's mobile phone, but no one answered. Turning off the phone, Zhou Shangli realized that he knew little about Xiao Qiuyuan, except for the Daoxiang and Yu shop, he didn't even know where Xiao Qiuyuan lived. Zhou Shangli looked around, the sky and the ground were full of traffic. , so vast, so lively, but without Xiao Qiuyuan, thinking of the possibility of losing Xiao Qiuyuan from now on, the possibility that there would be no more Xiao Qiuyuan in the world, Zhou Shangli was anxious like a cat chasing its tail, his whole body was weak and he was about to go crazy.

Three years ago, Zhou Shangli had a similar feeling.

At the age of 17, because he came out of the closet and fell out with his family, his parents pointed at him and yelled at him, and severed relations with him. He borrowed 200 yuan to go to a strange city alone, and on the third night of food shortage, he slept under the overpass. Shangli met Da Zhou, a freelance photographer. At that time, Da Zhou was 27 or [-] years old. He was young and full of enthusiasm. Impoverished, but unknown, already feeling disheartened, on the night Zhou Shangli met him, Da Zhou was ready to compromise, and went to a photo studio to report the next day. This was the last time he traveled through the dark night to find Something worth photographing.

Seeing Zhou Shangli's eyes, which were stubborn and full of resistance to the encounter, Da Zhou was shaken. He offered to treat Zhou Shangli to a big meal in exchange for Zhou Shangli's one-day and one-night follow-up time, and paid Zhou Shangli One week's living expenses.

Zhou Shangli was also young and vigorous, he didn't want Da Zhou to treat him as a beggar, and asked Da Zhou why he photographed him, and if Da Zhou's answer was not what he wanted, he would rather starve to death than accept alms.

Da Zhou said: "Because you are handsome, sad and stubborn at the same time, you have integrated these contradictory characteristics very well, and you don't even know how attractive you are."

With a few words of flattery, Zhou Shangli agreed to Da Zhou's suggestion to be his model for a day and a night, but after the filming was over, Zhou Shangli went to Da Zhou. He saw hope from Da Zhou and found the meaning of life. The goal is that he also wants to learn photography, and he also wants to be a freelance photographer. Da Zhou promised to take him, but the condition is that he must become Da Zhou's free coolie. Crossing the Pacific Ocean, crossing the Sahara, climbing the Himalayas, entering and exiting modern cities, experiencing the silence of no man’s land, experiencing the cruelty of war, tasting delicacies from mountains and seas, and eating moldy bread. I have seen everything, tried everything, and mixed some It's famous, but the big week has changed.

Da Zhou became abnormal. At first, he was autistic, didn’t speak, and was immersed in his own world. Zhou Shangli didn’t care. When Da Zhou was always thinking alone, he would be fine within three days at most. But after half a month, instead of recovering, Da Zhou became more and more serious. Gradually, he didn't eat or sleep, couldn't hear others, and ignored everything in the world, until one day, he started to self-mutilate, and finally cut his throat artery……

That was the most painful period for Zhou Shangli. Three years ago, Da Zhou left him. Zhou Shangli, the young Zhou who was always behind Da Zhou's name, finally rushed to the front and truly took charge of his own side, but he was neither happy nor happy. , he missed Da Zhou, and at the same time hated Da Zhou. When Da Zhou left, he swore that he would never forgive Da Zhou!

But today, the same thing happened again, Zhou Shangli's instinctive fear, Da Zhou was his mentor and his best friend, the injury he suffered from losing Da Zhou has not recovered, let alone Xiao Qiuyuan, Zhou Shangli bit his fist, stood On the sidewalk where people come and go, he suddenly calmed down. He was amazed that at such an urgent moment, he could calm down and analyze what position Xiao Qiuyuan should be for him.

But even if Xiao Qiuyuan is just an ordinary friend, knowing that he might commit suicide, Zhou Shangli still can't ignore him, even if he treats Xiao Qiuyuan as someone he knows and doesn't treat him specially, Zhou Shangli still has to do his best to find him, save him.

From this moment on, Zhou Shangli changed from a good person to a kind person.