The Cowboy and The Pencil-pusher

I was surprised by Kurt's behavior when he accompanied me to buy clothes the next day.He doesn't talk much; just stands aside, frowning if I pick something too fancy.But from time to time, he would smile at me and give me a thumbs up.I spent a pleasant afternoon under his staff.I could tell he was thinking of me and wanted to make sure I was wearing the right outfit.I'm upset about how other people think about my dressing style, and he noticed and cared, and it made me feel a little strange.

I didn't want to buy cowboy boots in the first place.In fact, I made up my mind not to buy it.But for some reason, when we walked into the shoe store, a pair of ripe tan boots of oily caiman leather caught my eye.

"It's beautiful," I murmured, stroking the leather.

Kurt grunted and flipped through the price tags. "Eight hundred dollars." He looked surprised.

I shrugged. "So what?"

His eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?"

"No." I took the boots off the display case.

A young shopping guide pulled off her earphones and leaned in like a shark smelling blood. "Hi, I'm Alison. Can I help you?"

"Yes." I bit my lip and looked at the shoes carefully.

"This is absolutely top notch." Her eyes lit up. "One wait one."

"Is there a size 11?" I asked, pinching the toe of my shoe.

She smiled. "You have great taste."

Kurt snorted, and I glanced at him. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head. "It's okay."

The shopping guide stared at my suspicious partner with curious eyes. "Hi Kurt. Remember me? I'm Sam Benton's daughter."

"Alison." He nodded. "Of course I do. I thought you were off to college."

"It's spring break so I'm coming back and doing odd jobs."

He nodded. "Nice to see you again."

"Yes, me too." She cocked her mouth. "Are you going to buy new boots too?"

"No, I don't want it."

"He's a staff officer." I grinned at Kurt, and he nodded with a smile on his face.

She watched our interaction, then turned to Kurt. "Are you monitoring your...'friend'?" She clearly meant something. "You've always got nice guys from the city."

The boots in my hand slipped to the ground. "Ah, uh." I picked up the boots after a lot of fuss, embarrassed.I flicked my bangs back, and when I managed to work up the courage to take a peek at Kurt, I saw his cheeks flushed.

"I'd better wait for you in the car," he said.

"You can," I muttered, forcing myself not to look at his departing figure.I gave her an apologetic look. "He doesn't like shopping much."

Alison bit her lower lip. "Sorry. I didn't mean to throw him away."

I shrugged. "It's okay." I cleared my throat, "We're just friends." Are we really friends?I'm not the type to always make friends.

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh." She gave me an awkward smile. "I'm going to get your number so you can try it on?"

I glanced at the door and nodded. "Okay. I want to feel it on my feet."

She is very happy. "Great." Then went to the warehouse, and I sat down in one of the little chairs next to a row of mirrors.Peeking through the front window, I noticed Kurt leaning against the driver's door, looking out at the mountains.

I was wondering why he would turn his face on because a girl picked me up with him.A few days ago he was teasing me, offering to walk me back to my room after dinner.It was a pleasant lunch, too, and he seemed to be offended because I stumbled upon a pair of expensive boots.

"Here we come." She knelt down in front of me and opened the box. "How beautiful." She admired, then lowered her voice. "With all due respect, most people in this area can't afford these boots."

I laughed. "Yes. I'm not from around here. I'm sure I can afford it."

"Great." She cheered.

She helped me put my boots on and I paced back and forth to see if they fit.I went to the mirror and looked at these exquisite boots. "I can't believe I'm planning to buy cowboy boots."

"These are perfect for you."

"Thank you." I squeezed my face. "Kurt thinks I should have a pair."

She looked at Kurt out the window. "is that so?"

"Correct."

"You're the guy who runs the Muddy Tourist Ranch project." That's not a question.Seeing my surprise, she grinned. "You can't keep secrets in a town like this."

"I guess I can't hide it."

"I'm happy for Maddy. He's a good guy and it's not fair to him to lose the ranch." There was a faint hint in her words.

Don't want to blah blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.Then I changed the subject. "These boots are very comfortable. I want them."

She raised her eyebrows high, then grinned. "Really? Awesome." I could literally see dollar signs rolling in her eyes. "Do you want to wear it directly or wrap it up?"

"Wrap it up." I took off my boots and handed her my credit card.

She took me to the cashier. "Sorry for pulling you off." She pointed to Kurt.

I shrugged. "it's not a big deal."

She sighed. "He seems to have a penchant for hipsters in the city, so I guessed."

Although my curiosity was about to explode, I still kept my mouth shut. Fortunately, she continued on.

"I saw you two together, so I thought, maybe he's finally come out. I'm afraid he still has expectations of the other man."

"Riley?" The name came out before I knew it.

She laughed. "So you know that guy."

"Kurt mentioned him." I'm not sure why I'm telling her that.It's none of my business.

She tilted her head. "Kurt's a really nice guy, he's been played long enough by that scumbag Riley."

I frowned and said, "I thought the matter between them was over long ago."

She rolled her eyes. "He's been in town a lot, and I swear he's doing it just to hang on to Kurt." She smiled sheepishly. "God, sorry, I shouldn't be gossiping like that. I'm just blown away by the big deal. I'm going to get a big commission on the sale of these boots."

I secretly regret that she changed the subject, but I don't know why I feel that way. "I'm glad I made you so happy today."

She handed me the tote bag with the shoebox in it. "You do make me happy. Have a nice afternoon."

I go out the door and Kurt looks over the top of the truck at me. "Got what you want?"

"Correct."

He got into the car, and I followed.He started the car and drove onto the main road. "Where are you going now?"

I rest my head on the back of the leather seat. "I think that's enough. That's it for today."

He nods. "Okay." The truck drove in the direction of my hotel.

We sat quietly, listening to country songs on the radio.The road was bumpy, and I grabbed the handrail and looked out the window at the snow-covered mountains in the distance. "It's surprising that there's still snow on the top of the mountain now."

"Yes."

I glanced at him. "I rarely see snow in June. Honestly, unless I go skiing in Mammoth Lakes, I don't see snow at all."

"Ah."

"Do you think the snow will never melt?"

"If it's not too hot, it can stay like this all summer," he said stiffly.Usually he would be more than happy to tell me about the town he lives in, but this time he seemed reluctant to talk about it at all.

"Is the temperature here generally mild in summer?"

"It depends."

I don't know why he is mad at me.I just bought a pair of goddamn boots, and he told me I should buy them in the first place.

"Are there any popular swimming spots in the area when it's hot?" I eyed him, waiting for his answer. "Or do you have an artificial swimming pool?"

His jaw tightened. "Most people like to go to the lake."

Silence fell again, and then I couldn't stand it any longer. "Are you mad at me or what?" He didn't answer right away. "No? Should I take your silence as affirmation?"

Finally, he took a deep breath and replied, "I'm not angry."

I snorted. "Well, you are always upset." I raised my chin. "I don't care."

He smiled and gave me a blank look. "If you don't care why ask?"

I looked out the window and shrugged. "I have no idea."

He cleared his throat. "You see, I'm not offended...but these boots aren't worth so much. You could have gotten a nice pair for a tenth of the price."

Alright, so the boots still pissed him off.I squint at him. "Are you mad at me for buying a pair of expensive boots?"

He didn't speak, but his jaw tightened.

"It's just boots, isn't it? You told me to get a pair of boots, so I bought them."

"It's just throwing money around."

"I don't see it that way."

He scowled. "I'm not used to spending that much money." He pointed to his foot on the gas pedal. "I've been wearing this rough pair for five years, and it only cost 150 yuan."

"Your skin is crocodile skin and so is mine. There's no need to compare." I crossed my arms angrily.

"It's a waste of 800 yuan to buy a pair of boots." He shook his head.

"What's the big deal? I can pay more for it." I glanced at him. "It's just money."

He shrugged. "You take what you have for granted."

"so?"

He parked the car in the parking space of the hotel where I was staying and turned off the engine.He let out a heavy breath and paused, then smiled dryly and said, "Forget it."

I was puzzled by his annoyed behavior. "Kurt, I'm happy today, honestly, more than I expected. But now you're mad at me, and I don't understand why."

Mainly, I also don't understand why I should care.

Muscles twitched in his cheeks, eyes fixed on the steering wheel.

"Are you really mad at me for buying a pair of expensive shoes?" I asked.

"No—maybe. I think you're just doing what you think is normal." He turned to look at me, swallowed hard and opened the door. "Come on, let me help you move your things in."

I resented his displeasure, but I didn't make a sound as we slogged into my hotel room with bags.With a bunch of things piled up on my bed, I went up to him and tried to calm his irritation once more.

"Look, we'll always be working together on the ranch project. We need to talk about everything. You can't be upset because of a pair of shoes."

"It's no big deal."

"Really? It's as if it's true."

He crossed his hands on his hips and looked at me. "You really want to pester this?"

I shrug. "Well, no matter why you're upset, it's definitely not something I like." I raised my hand and waved it, then pointed at him. "You usually put up with me pretty well."

He smiled. "It's us who tolerate each other."

"Yes."

"Okay..." With his hands folded on his broad chest, he said calmly, "I think you can learn a lot about a person by seeing how he spends his wealth."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Kurt. I didn't buy the whole town, I just bought a damn pair of shoes."

He twisted his mouth. "I know. But you spend so much money that you don't take it seriously."

"It's just money. I'm rich with money."

"Nor should it be."

"Will it make you feel better if I promise to donate my boots to some bum when I leave here to go home?"

"You missed the point." He pursed his lips tightly. "The money you're spending on these shoes is probably equivalent to a month's ration for all the people in the shelters in this whole town. It's as easy as me ordering a hamburger for you to drop eight hundred dollars."

I sigh. "Okay, I'll send a generous gift to the shelter here."

He frowned. "Again?"

"I'll donate money."

He tilted his head, frowning. "Are you willing to do this?"

I pointed to the scattered bags on the bed. "If it's going to get you to stop nagging me about buying these things, I'm happy to donate money to the shelter."

He narrowed his eyes and said, "Your rhetoric isn't perfect. But of course, they need help. Feel free to write them a big check."

"I will implement it this week."

He smiled, and my heart tightened at the same time.

"Plus, it's a tax offset," I say, and the smile fades from his face.

He moved uneasily. "I probably should go."

"Really?" I felt a little sorry for his haste to leave.I don't know why I care whether he stays or not.I'm not one of those people who can't stand being alone.But for whatever reason, I want him to stay a little longer. "I thought you'd want to see before and after photos of Frank's ranch?" I said quickly, just as his hand was about to grab the doorknob.

He stopped and turned to look at me. "I don't want to trouble you." He looked at the things on the bed. "You need to tidy up this pile of treasures."

I snorted. "I'll let Benjy do it later."

Kurt's bushy eyebrows were drawn together. "This is also his job? What does he do, serve your old mother?"

I turned on my laptop and turned to him to answer. "He's eating for nothing. He won't be able to contribute until the project is fully underway, but right now he's just watching TV and playing Angry Birds on his phone."

He came to the table to watch with me, and the heat from him made me nervous.Originally, I thought the room was quite big, but with Kurt around, the space seemed to suddenly become smaller.I pointed to the chair. "Do you want to sit down?"

He shook his head. "Need not."

I smiled to myself. "Can you see it from your angle?" I tilted my head, and since he was bending over, his face was closer than I expected.

Then his eyes fell on my lips, and my stomach churned.His nostrils moved slightly, and he took a step back.I leaned over the screen, my eyes not really looking at anything because my mind was spinning so fast.The desire in his eyes was too strong to ignore.But for whatever reason, we pretended that we didn't feel anything strange at the moment.

"The file was found." I clicked the mouse a few times. "You can browse as you like." I got up and walked to the bathroom. "I'll go to the number."

"Got it!"

I shut myself in the bathroom, leaning against the door, just in the main room, half erect just because of his approach.I swallowed heavily and walked to the sink.I stared blankly at myself in the mirror, looking terrified.Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright.

Having a crush on Kurt is a bad thing.First, we'll be working together for the next few months; there's nothing more embarrassing than sleeping with your own partner.If it blows due to various reasons, the two will have to continue to meet each other from time to time.And when it's someone like Kurt, it's bound to get worse.We are not of one world at all.

I splashed water on my face and stood up straight. "Listen, you fool," I murmured to my mirror image, "maybe that cowboy is really handsome, but he's not in the selection range. If you really need it, just find another irrelevant one." Come on with the bumpkin. But let Kurt go."

When I got back to the main house, Kurt was sitting at the table flipping through photos on my computer.He looked up as I approached. "You're right. The ranch still looks like a serious business."

"Because it was already operating a serious business." I lingered behind the chair, careful not to get close to him. "I'm glad you liked the pictures."

"I like it. Those guest rooms look like part of the ranch."

"Told you." I smiled.

The chair creaked as he leaned back. "If it works, I'm happy that Maddy can enjoy his retirement years without having to worry about money all the time."

“When everything is in order, he should go on a long vacation. He can sit on the beach in the Bahamas and drink fruit rum.

"Or he can swim with sharks like you?"

I nodded and said, "Of course. I can give you the name of the escort I took with me. They were great. Every detail was taken care of."

A crease creases one of his cheeks. "I was just joking. If he actually saw a live shark, he would have a heart attack."

"Heh." I laughed out loud.

He turned to meet my gaze. "How did you come up with the idea to do something like that?"

I shrug. "My dad made a bet with me once that I wouldn't have the guts to do it. So I thought, fuck it. I'm going to swim with sharks."

He frowned. "Parents should encourage their children more, instead of using aggressive methods."

"My dad was a bit different. But I'm glad I did that. I love the ocean and it was an amazing experience."

"I've never seen the sea."

"What?" I called out. "Are you serious?"

"Let me remind you, there aren't many beaches in Colorado." He grinned.

"Okay, I get it, but don't you ever take vacations?" It really surprised me to hear that.

"Of course. But most of the time I'll be hiking and camping. Maybe I'll be fishing at the lake."

I shook my head and looked at him speechlessly.

"What's wrong?" He blushed. "It's quiet and beautiful. All the stars can be seen and I have a fire. It's amazing."

"I can't imagine you've never been in the ocean. I actually live right next to the beach."

"Really?" He stood up slowly from the table.

"I swim every morning," I boasted, looking straight at him.

He made a face that seemed to be teasing. "Let me guess: you have bright red swimming shorts?"

I snorted. "I don't wear anything at all."

The teasing slowly faded away, and his eyes became hot. "The picture is really eye-catching."

My tongue is on top of my jaw.I wanted to reply with a one-liner, but I couldn't seem to speak normally.My legs go limp under his eager gaze.I cleared my throat and managed to organize my words. "It's a private beach."

"It's none of my business anyway." In the dim room, his pupils were big and dark, and I could still see the pulse beating in his neck.

The spark between us was palpable.If this was a movie, we'd be kissing.It's all about getting close to each other and grabbing each other's lips.I've never wanted his fiery tongue against mine so ardently.I trembled with the surge of emotion in me because of him.My knees are weak, my pulse is racing, my hands are sweaty and I long for him.

And he wants me too.

However, as if it was planned on both sides, we all backed away, eyes on the ground, panicked expressions.He acted as bewildered as I was.He took off his hat as he approached the door and ran his trembling fingers through his hair, looking rather startled.

"I guess we'll see you tomorrow," he gasps, before disappearing through the door in the blink of an eye as if he's breaking out of prison.

I stared at the closed door for what seemed like an hour after he left.I don't understand why I'm so obsessed with him.Why him?I haven't felt this desire for a man for at least several years.Yet his unflappable strength and confidence really appealed to me.Maybe it's because he is a confident and not arrogant type that I have met less.He never came across as authoritarian or machismo.He just stood there quietly.And I know that if there is anything that needs to be done, he will do it.Even if he had nothing to do, he wouldn't worry about it.

I've met a lot of strong men at work.My dad is one of them.He knows what he wants, and he usually gets it.But it seems that there are always some impulsive or judgmental voices in the bottom of my heart.Kurt has none of that.He knows who he is, and he doesn't care if others know him or not.I envy him for that.I wanted to have that confidence and self-identity, as hell.

I sat on the edge of the bed staring at my cold fingers.The reasons for not having anything to do with Kurt are all too clear to me.There are so many reasons that I can't count them even if I add my fingers and toes.But I couldn't help but want to know his take on the matter.In everything he does with me, he is as restless and cautious as I am.The moment sparks fly between us, he literally walks out.I know he wants to have sex with me physically.In his handsome face, I can see clearly.But he would leave as soon as he realized it.He, like me, didn't think we were worth taking the chance on each other.He chose to escape.

But the worst part was that I wasn't relieved that he was gone, and what made me mad was that he didn't think I was worth his risk.