Just A Bit Obsessed

Alexander's cousin looks a lot like him.

That was the first thought that popped into Christian's mind when he saw the two hugging and patting each other's backs.

They were strikingly similar: the same height, the same black hair and dark blue eyes.But Jared Sheldon was a little stronger than Alexander, and their features were slightly different—Alexander's was more angular—but it was really easy to mistake the two without looking carefully.

Jared catches his gaze and explains with a smile, "No, we're not twins. He's three years younger than me." He shakes Christian's hand. "Jared Sheldon."

Alexander put his hand on Christian's shoulder. "This is Christian."

"Can I introduce myself," Christian said dissatisfiedly abducting him.He turned his head to look at Jared, smiled crookedly and said, "Christian Ashford."

"You have an uncommonly beautiful smile," Jared complimented.

Christian took off his coat while hiding his surprise.The guy is definitely not flirting with him or anything, but that's not something a straight guy would say.Wait, Jared is Alexander's aforementioned gay cousin?

"Thanks," Christian said with a low smile. "You look good when you smile, too."

An hour later, as they finished the six cans of beer they had brought, Christian admitted that Alexander was right: he liked Jared.I like it very much.He's a great guy - calm and casual.There was a quiet strength about him that Christian couldn't help but trust him.

Jared is also a doctor.

"This career is for you," Christian said, leaning on the sofa. "I don't like hospitals and doctors—no offense—but I wouldn't mind if you were my doctor. You seem like a good doctor." He winked and gave him a ostentatious look. "Besides, you're hot. I bet you're super sexy in your white coat. Does anyone call you 'Dr. Dream'?"

①Dr. McDreamy, the stem comes from the American drama "Grey's Anatomy".

Jared laughed, and Alexander put his arm around Christian's shoulders.

Christian shot him a sideways look.

Alexander has been very quiet, mostly just listening and watching them chat.As always, he was calm and composed, but… there was a difference between his composure and Jared's.It wasn't obvious, but there was a difference that Christian couldn't ignore.Jared's calmness is natural; in comparison, Alexander's calmness is a bit out of character.Kind of confusing.

It wasn't the first time Christian had noticed this, but this time it was especially noticeable.Two men who look so alike yet feel so opposite; one is a rock, the other a dormant volcano.Christian shivered, wondering what would happen if he erupted.He had never seen Alexander really angry or emotional.Of course, he has seen the other person being annoyed, and he has also seen him laugh, but all emotions are very gentle and well controlled.He could feel that Alexander had been restraining himself, firmly controlling his emotions.

Christian wondered why.He wondered what it took to poke the man.

Alexander's phone rang again.

"I'm Sheldon."

The caller started yelling, and Christian noticed that Alexander was frowning.

"Please calm down, Mr. Kabinov."

The caller yelled louder.

"Успокойтесь, пожалуйста, господин Кабенов," Alexander changed the language, which sounded like Russian. "Давайтепоговоримспокойно,каквзрослыелюди②."

②Russian: Calm down, Mr. Kabinov. ...let's talk calmly as adults.

Alexander scratched Christian's neck with his fingers, stood up and left the room. "Mr. Kabinov, I assure you that Robert is a professional of the highest caliber..."

Christian was hesitant to be left with Alexander's cousin, but he could see that this was an opportunity not to be missed.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said.

Jared nodded, looking at him curiously.

"What makes Alexander so..." Christian stopped and didn't know how to express it. "Suppressing feelings?"

Jared sighed, frowning together.After hesitating for a moment, he said quietly: "It's his parents' fault. To make a long story short, his father cheated for a long time. He messed with men behind his wife's back, and then lied every time that it was the last time. My aunt became He was hysterical and they fought for days, but she forgave him in the end—until the next incident. It went on for decades."

Christian frowned. "Are they still together now?"

"Yes." Jared scowled. "She should have kicked him long ago, but she couldn't. My aunt is a wretch, to be honest. Last time I saw her, she was a total drunk, and the house was like a pigsty, and my uncle Nowhere to be seen. But the two are still together."

"Then Alexander...?"

"I convinced my parents to adopt him when he was 14, but he was already hurt. He was just a kid. Kids are easily influenced."

Christian frowned.This would explain why Alexander hated disorder and mess, but it couldn't explain why he suppressed his emotions so much—so suppressed that he didn't even know it.

He expressed his doubts, and Jared frowned. "I'm not sure. He doesn't really say much about it, but I guess it's his mother. He despises her, probably more than he despises her father."

"Because she ignored him?"

Jared pursed his lips. "Because she loves her husband so much. Her emotions turned her from a young confident lady into a clingy alcoholic obsessed with scumbags." Jared shook his head. "I once heard her sobbing on my mother's shoulder, telling her how she loved her husband more than anything, how she would forgive him for everything and couldn't live without him - because she loved him so much. I Barely recognized her because she looked so pathetic." Jared looked away. "Alexander must have heard that nonsense a lot when he was a kid. I don't blame him at all for his distaste for strong emotional behavior."

Christian nodded slowly, biting his lip, silently thinking about what he had just heard.

"Then what is your relationship with my cousin?"

Christian froze, then looked at Jared.The man is watching him calmly.The blue eyes are looking sharply.

"I don't understand you," Christian said, trying to get away with it.

Jared gave him a flat look, and for a moment he seemed to overlap with Alexander, which surprised Christian.

"Nothing. He has a girlfriend, remember?" No, Christian's tone was not bitter.

"I know he has a girlfriend," Jared said. "Before today I thought Alexander was straight. But as soon as you stepped into my house, my cousin threw himself on you and acted like you were his girlfriend."

Christian smiled awkwardly, his face heating up a bit. "I don't know, okay? I don't think he realizes what he's doing at all."

"Alexander can't be that wink," Jared retorted.

"I know," Christian said, touching his forehead and running his hands through his hair. "But I think he's good at ignoring things he doesn't want to see."

Christian noticed that Jared's face looked sad for a moment.

"You're right," Jared murmured. "People are amazingly good at ignoring facts they don't want to see or know." He glanced at the door, then looked at Christian again.There was a smile on the corner of his mouth, which made Christian realize that the man in front of him was so handsome. "Let's do something that he's sure to see."

"what?"

Jared glanced at the door again, stood up, and took the seat Alexander had just taken.He lifted Christian's chin with a finger.

Christian smiled. "Uh, you're not interested in me, are you?"

Something flashed in Jared's eyes.Before he could answer, footsteps approached, and Jared leaned in and kissed Christian.

His lips were soft, and the kiss was delightful.Christian loved it—Jared knew how to kiss, he was a very attractive man, and Christian liked him—but something was missing.No sparks fly, no cravings, no desires.Christian didn't feel the heat or excitement, and didn't want to devour him—

Christian was suddenly dragged off the sofa by an angry Alexander, who screamed.The man looked genuinely annoyed: his jaw was clenched, his eyes were spitting fire, and his body was full of anger.

"What the hell is this doing?" Alexander snarled, looking at the two fiercely, and he grabbed Christian's arm so painfully.

Christian was stunned.Even Jared was taken aback by his cousin's violent reaction.

Jared regained his composure first. "What's the problem?" he asked calmly. "I'm gay. Christian is bisexual. We're both adults and we're both single."

Alexander paused when he heard it, but quickly realized it.

"He's only 20," he said through gritted teeth. "He's ten years younger than you. Too young for you."

Jared raised his eyebrows slowly, and Christian looked at Alexander in disbelief.Alexander was seven years older than he and Mira, but apparently he thought a ten-year difference was unimaginable.

"Listen to me, calm down..."

"I'm calm," Alexander didn't sound calm. "Let's go."

Still in shock, Christian forgot to resist and just let Alexander drag him outside the house.With some difficulty, he grabbed the coat hastily and waved goodbye to Jared, who watched them leave in bewilderment.

On the drive to Christian's house, the atmosphere was silent and tense.Alexander didn't even look at Christian, he just locked forward.

Christian didn't know what to think.It was the first time he had seen Alexander lose control.He'd always had a hunch that Alexander's calm and nonchalant behavior was just a facade, but seeing it was another matter.

A part of him felt unbelievably dizzy because he was the cause of Alexander's loss of self-control.It always makes sense, right?But on the other hand, he also knew that Alexander didn't like to lose control of himself.

As the minutes passed, Alexander's increasingly stern expression proved him right.

After arriving home, Alexander broke the silence.

"Do you want him?" He turned off the engine, his expression inscrutable again, but his voice was sharp and grim.

Christian hesitated, not knowing what to do.

Jared is Alexander's closest friend and cousin.He doesn't want to do anything to hurt their friendship, but...he's not selfless, shit.He wanted to make Alexander jealous, he thought.He wanted him to feel how he felt watching him and Mira.He wanted him to be mad with jealousy.

"He's hot," Christian said slowly. "He's my thing." Sorry, Jared, he apologized from the bottom of his heart, and looked Alexander straight in the eye. "So yeah, I want him—"

Alexander pressed down on him suddenly, kissed him hard on the lips, and grabbed Christian's hair with his hands.Christian gasped and kissed him back, but Alexander wouldn't allow it.Kissing turned brutal, fiercely assertive ownership.It was a punishing kiss, but it just made Christian feel insanely needy and longing.Moaning, Christian parted his lips further, wishing the other could penetrate deeper and more—god, it's been so long since they've kissed.

Alexander finally let go of his mouth, panting heavily. "I can't do this," he seems to say to himself, but looks at him hungrily, his hands still in Christian's hair.He pressed down again, but stopped halfway, cursed under his breath, and sank back into his seat.His eyes were fixed on the front, and his whole body was tense, as if his body was about to break.

Christian took a sharp breath and held out his hand. "Alex—"

"No," Alexander said through gritted teeth. "Don't touch me, please." He rubbed his face. "Please get out of the car."

Christian stared at him, then got out of the car, shaking slightly.

He watched the car accelerate off the circuit, the tires screeching against the ground.

Everything is at peace.

He is all alone.